FabSwingers.com forum: A question for you!

By *aitonel OP Man
5 weeks ago

Away for Christmas

Person A sends person B a pic/vid

Person B appreciates said pic/vid and says "looking good, nice to see you making an effort" to Person A.

Is that a compliment? 🤔

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
5 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I'm a cynic and would take it as them saying I don't make enough effort usually.

But I am a spiky bitch and neither myself nor my therapist recommend my worldview 💜

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
5 weeks ago

Stoke

Yeah, why would it not be ??

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

A backhanded compliment is still a compliment!

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By *ell GwynnWoman
5 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Do you want it to be a compliment?

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By *educing_EmCouple
5 weeks ago

Tipperary

From you it is I suppose 😂

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

It could maybe be misconstrued and they may think person A is saying, in a backhanded way, that they don’t usually make an effort.

Sometimes I add quotation marks for this reason, just for fun.

Oh, congrats on “your” baby.

Of course I “didn’t” have sex with your Mrs.

Those kind of things.

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By *ecky and justCouple
5 weeks ago

Godalming

Yes, it’s a compliment.

Overthinking could turn it negative.

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By *rSircumsizedMan
5 weeks ago

Risca

Suppose it depends on if "Making the effort" refers to your past material, or compared to other guys on here.

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By *vaRose43Woman
5 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

"I'm a cynic and would take it as them saying I don't make enough effort usually.

But I am a spiky bitch and neither myself nor my therapist recommend my worldview 💜"

This

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By *mmaleiaWoman
5 weeks ago

Trowbridge

B is telling you it’s nice you’re making an effort, most guys don’t

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

No, it isn't a compliment.

The context would inform my reaction but that kind of comment sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive to me. The implication being that I don't make the effort at other times or I haven't actually made any effort at all.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

Also if you want someone to make more of an effort when they actually do tell them you really appreciate what they've done don't damn them with faint praise

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By *ernow1982Man
5 weeks ago

Plymouth

"that kind of comment sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive to me"

Yeah, that's exactly what I would think. Sounds extremely backhanded and snarky.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

If you stopped at the "looking good" part the compliment was there.

When you continued, it made it sound like they usually look like Grotbags.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

"that kind of comment sounds sarcastic or passive aggressive to me

Yeah, that's exactly what I would think. Sounds extremely backhanded and snarky."

It does doesn't it.

The problem is tone really but it's like when your very shy relative plucks up the courage to join a family gathering and people make comments like 'finally' or 'it's not so hard is it'...It's not motivating in the least

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By *ell GwynnWoman
5 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"No, it isn't a compliment.

I'd probably interpret it that way, too, depending on who it came from. Some people are mean, others are oblivious and clumsy with words.

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By *illy IdolMan
5 weeks ago

Midlands

I would say person B is jesting with person A and would see it as a form of flirting.

If person B doesn't know person A, then I would hope person A would could back at person B with a similar backhanded compliment.

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By *aitonel OP Man
5 weeks ago

Away for Christmas

Interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

I use things like “huh, you look less rancid today, good on you”.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

Negging is the term, I believe.

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 weeks ago

East London

Depends who says it.

I know who would be joking with me, or who would be having a dig.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
5 weeks ago

Ends

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
5 weeks ago

North West

"Person A sends person B a pic/vid

Person B appreciates said pic/vid and says "looking good, nice to see you making an effort" to Person A.

Is that a compliment? 🤔"

I wouldn't like the "nice to see you making an effort" bit. It implies that they usually DON'T "make an effort" and that is therefore a negative. It's like damning with feint praise.

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 weeks ago

East London

If my long term buddy said it I'd think "Fair comment" and feel good that he's noticed.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
5 weeks ago

Ends

"If my long term buddy said it I'd think "Fair comment" and feel good that he's noticed. "

You always look nice Bad Nanna

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By *hat.coupleCouple
5 weeks ago

Dartford

I'd say take it as a compliment and stop overthinking everything

Mrs x

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By *ernow1982Man
5 weeks ago

Plymouth

"It does doesn't it.

Very true. It's the choice of words for me, more than the tone or context. I've never, ever used those words to give a genuine compliment.

Just seems disrespectful. 🤔

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By *ad NannaWoman
5 weeks ago

East London

"If my long term buddy said it I'd think "Fair comment" and feel good that he's noticed.

You always look nice Bad Nanna "

Thank you. I do try 😊

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By *ansoffateMan
5 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I'd probably find it funny. It is contextual of course.

If I felt hurt in some way I'd probably reflect on why, before I started concerning myself with their motivations or intentions.

If I really wanted to play it out I would provide a retort.

I recall one response, equally glib, when I left some ambiguity.

"Oh are you saying I need to up my game?"

I laughed, but then apologised and assured her that this was not the case at all.

English culture is such a weave of implicit and explicit communication. I think either make it explicit or learn to have fun with it.

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By *eroLondonMan
5 weeks ago

Mayfair

I interpret it as a compliment because "B" is inferring that other/some 'people' don't often make the effort.

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By *aitonel OP Man
5 weeks ago

Away for Christmas

Always interesting to see the directions people take things themselves based up the lack of context and where they instantly take things in their own mindset.

1. I said it to her.

2. For once she decided to make an effort

3. She agreed, effort was made this instance.

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By *ellinever70Woman
5 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If person B has seen a pic of person A before , then no, it's not a compliment

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