FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Safety

Jump to newest
 

By *iker Jack OP   Man
13 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

When you’re meeting someone for the first time do you put a “safety net” in place?

Let someone else know where you are?

Public meets only or before you may go on to somewhere else?

Have you ever had a feeling where you think something’s just not right here?

And lastly what advice would you give people who are less experienced in regards to keeping safe?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arley QuimWoman
13 weeks ago

Somewhere

Lots of chat beforehand.

Meet for a social first.

Approach it in the same way you would online dating.

Be sensible - not everyone is who they appear online.

*We're all adults at the end of the day. If you don't feel competent to conduct your own risk assessment regarding your own safety. Then don't meet strangers off the internet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I have one friend who knows I meet guys and she badgers me to tell her where I'm going/staying. I wouldn't tell anyone otherwise.

But if I ever felt like my safety would be at risk, I wouldn't be meeting them. I talk to guys a fair bit beforehand and the idea of not being "safe" doesn't enter my head.

I wouldn't ever to a guy's house, but that's more to do with dodgy duvet covers.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago


"

I wouldn't ever to a guy's house, but that's more to do with dodgy duvet covers.

"

Does Peppa Pig count as a dodgy duvet cover (I know Boris Johnson enjoyed a great day out and raves about Peppa!)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rHotNottsMan
13 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Never been an issue really. I think it’s similar to fakes though if you are too eager, you’re gonna attract the weirdos. So take your time and get to know someone quite well before meeting them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I always let at least one close friend know where I am, and approx time that I will check in with them. Also share location.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

As a couple I didn't mind meeting someone for the first time at their place. I wouldn't be happy giving a stranger my home address. And I felt like I had my partner to back me up if things went wrong.

As a single woman, I will only meet new people at clubs or organised socials now. I used to do the odd coffee meet, but I much prefer it this way where I'm somewhere I know with multiple people who know who I am and are likely to have my back 💜

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *vaRose43Woman
13 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

My husband knows where I am, who I’m meeting etc.

Lots of chat beforehand, a video call, and preferably a social meet. If at any point I was worried about my safety with them I’d cancel.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
13 weeks ago

Leeds

If I meet alone the Mr knows where I am I send him my location and updates, if we meet together then I usually will tell someone where we are.

Also general due diligence before meeting.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellinever70Woman
13 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I'm an adult who's used the internet for years to meet men

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ell GwynnWoman
13 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

When I've been single I've told my sister where I'll be. When I had a partner I told him.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
13 weeks ago

Belfast

I only ever meet socially in a public place. It's not negotiable and is for the other persons sense of safety as much as my own.

I've had 2 different and very well verified women asking to meet but insisting that it had to be in their own home.

I refused both on the grounds that any woman inviting me as a complete stranger into their home had very little thought for their own personal safety and they therefore weren't people I wanted to meet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mmaleiaWoman
13 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Yes, I have a friend I tell who I’m meeting & where & a check in time. I only do this cause she insists, I can look after myself well enough & only meet in public spaces.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
13 weeks ago

Ends

I tell my partners who I’m seeing every time and my fiancé can see my location on find my iPhone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
13 weeks ago

Ends


"I tell my partners who I’m seeing every time and my fiancé can see my location on find my iPhone. "

Safety is a reason that I’ve not met certain couples.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago


"When you’re meeting someone for the first time do you put a “safety net” in place? Let someone else know where you are?"

Not usually. I've been doing this a long time and have a good nose for trouble. If I ever felt any doubts, I wouldn't go.


"Public meets only or before you may go on to somewhere else?"

Absolutely prefer a public meet, usually a cuppa somewhere. If we've spent a longer time getting to know one another and there is clear chemistry, then I wouldn't mind meeting at their home. But again, I'd be cautious.


"Have you ever had a feeling where you think something’s just not right here?"

Nope, never. Funnily enough, the feelings of caution and worry always appear AFTER meeting and spending time together, when certain people can't hide their true nature for too much longer.

Never had any issues prior to meeting, always after. Used to think I was the catalyst for that, but have been reassured by everyone who knows me that it wasn't. Hard to not beat yourself up about these things, but nowadays I just walk away and carry on, if it goes sideways.


"And lastly what advice would you give people who are less experienced in regards to keeping safe?"

Never be desperate enough to put yourself at risk, or compromise your ideals and morals.

Take your time and get to know someone first. While you can't ever truly know a person, especially a stranger, at least you can eliminate some obvious red flags before meeting.

Use common sense and your instincts. It's easy to be blinded by all the pretty people and promises of sex. It doesn't always work out, so keep a logical head on your shoulders before exposing yourself to others.

If you have doubts whether you can do this, wait until you're certain. Speak to others about it, ask questions, but don't take every answer at face value. There are lots of high and mighty opinions here, some of which might be clouded by their own judgment.

Listen, absorb, form your own opinions and weigh up the pros and cons. In other words, just be sensible. Don't take unnecessary risks and try to enjoy the experience.

If you're not having fun, it's not always that you're doing it wrong (like I've seen said multiple times), you simply might not be suited to the lifestyle.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

13 weeks ago

East Sussex

Only have one drink.

Always have either your own transport or enough money to get home under your own steam.

Don't get in anyone's car unless you know them well.

If you're single meet socially in a public place and sexually in a club.

If something feels off walk away even if you can't articulate the cause.

Don't ignore red flags

Never be afraid to say no, it's not rude, it's not time wasting.

Think about what you told your kids (or would have if you had any) about internet safety and abide by the same rules.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I always tell my dog where I’m going and that I’ll be back soon.

And of course that he’s a good boy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tsJustKateWoman
13 weeks ago

London

I always let my friend know who I'm with and where we are going. I've been doing this for many years, in cars, hotels and at guys homes and I can honestly say I've never felt unsafe.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eroLondonMan
12 weeks ago

Mayfair

I only ever tell LíttlèBírd when I'm meeting someone. I can sleep soundly in the knowledge that if a woman ever messed me around LB would go thermonuclear and medieval in one go. 🩶

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
12 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I'm lucky in that I have my other half, who would always know where I am and who with.

Always meet in a public place first & go with your gut instincts.

If you don't have anyone to tell about your meet, leave a note on your fridge or something.With the date & detailing where you've gone and who with. Just in case anything ever happened.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
12 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Also go at your own pace

Don't be rushed into meeting or doing something you don't want to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
12 weeks ago

yumsville

Can't say I have. There's been more than first meet nerves, always has and it's part of the excitement. You do wonder if who you're meeting will be on a level as essentially you are outnumbered should something go wrong, but I think that comes from a lot of the stories of husbands coming come or wives/gf trying to get back at people, but I think they are few and far between.

If you're worried, set a reminder on your phone to call in half hour after meeting, you can use it as a get out clause. That or tell someone you're going on a blind date at x location.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
12 weeks ago

Coventry

As a single male I can't say I have. Bar meeting in a public place, however that's more about their peace of mind than mine. Not saying I shouldn't be concerned with my own safety. As a well built man with some street sense, when I risk assessed meeting someone I felt very little need for any extra measures. I have on a couple of occasions met women at their place on first meet. Which naturally carries more risk to me. However I would take reasonable precautions online for red flags. However once seeing the face of the lady I'm expecting at the door and not picking up on any other red flags on the premises or thought the door I'd enter. I get again that this is a bit riskier however not outside of my risk tolerance.

I also get that as a 6ft man with a certain confidence in my ability to look after myself my experience is different to say a lady meeting a man of my build. Be that in terms of perceived risk or actual risk. Something I would always may allowance and understanding for on a first meet. I would put the ball in their court as to how they're comfortable meeting. We all have to look after our safety how we see fit and not compromise on that.

Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top