FabSwingers.com forum: Do you find it hard to reject nice people?

By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
13 weeks ago

The Continental

No.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"No.

Same. Like girl it’s a no from me

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Reject as in don't want to get jiggy with them? 🤔

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
13 weeks ago

Swansea

No, not at all. If there's no attraction/chemistry then sex isn't going to happen regardless of how nice they are.

Mrs

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By *mmaleiaWoman
13 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Not anymore, this place has made me pretty brutal

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Reject as in don't want to get jiggy with them? 🤔"

Yessir

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
13 weeks ago

The Continental

I’ve had plenty of “you’re a lovely guy….BUT” style messages to know how to do the same without crushing the poor souls confidence/mojo.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I’ve had plenty of “you’re a lovely guy….BUT” style messages to know how to do the same without crushing the poor souls confidence/mojo. "
I never get those messages John. I’m pretty perfect.

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By *erfHerder74Man
13 weeks ago

Inverclyde

I’m nice and find it easy to reject aholes

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I’m nice and find it easy to reject aholes "
that’s not-

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By *iss.BellaWoman
13 weeks ago

Wales

No.

I don't have the time or energy to play along because someone is nice. I'd also prefer to be rejected than strung along, it's life, I won't cry about it.

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By *hesblokeMan
13 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

No, they're usually quite nice about it (as am I, if course!).

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
13 weeks ago

Reading

I guess I do. I'd probably avoid it until I can no longer avoid it.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Yes I do, I don't like making people feel a certain way. But most of the time, once rejected they show how 'nice' they really are so I can get over it quickly.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I guess I do. I'd probably avoid it until I can no longer avoid it. "

I actually think lots of people struggle with it. I know that people have struggled to reject me because they’re scared of hurting me etc. as long as you do it eventually I guess

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Yes I do, I don't like making people feel a certain way. But most of the time, once rejected they show how 'nice' they really are so I can get over it quickly."

I am going to call you every name under the sun when I am inside you ❤️

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

If you ever think I’m an arsehole ladies, I’m just behaving as such to help you not crave me as much.

You’re welcome.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
13 weeks ago

Reading

Yes and I sometimes have been guilty of leading people on because of it which I know in the end is worse than telling the truth from the start.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"If you ever think I’m an arsehole ladies, I’m just behaving as such to help you not crave me as much.

You’re welcome. "

Thoughtful king

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Yes and I sometimes have been guilty of leading people on because of it which I know in the end is worse than telling the truth from the start. "
it isn’t nice I admit

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By *iss.BellaWoman
13 weeks ago

Wales

"If you ever think I’m an arsehole ladies, I’m just behaving as such to help you not crave me as much.

You’re welcome. "

So helpful

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
13 weeks ago

Southampton

"If you ever think I’m an arsehole ladies, I’m just behaving as such to help you not crave me as much.

You’re welcome. "

And there's your PSA for today 🤣🤣

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By *viatrixWoman
13 weeks ago

Redhill

"Yes and I sometimes have been guilty of leading people on because of it which I know in the end is worse than telling the truth from the start. "

This.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
13 weeks ago

Southampton

Yes, but I'm starting to get better at ripping the metaphorical plaster off as it were...

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Reject as in don't want to get jiggy with them? 🤔

Yessir

Ah.

In that case no. But then I never know if they're actually nice til I've met them F2F. Some people who seem nice online can be otherwise in person. 🤷‍♂️

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Reject as in don't want to get jiggy with them? 🤔

Yessir

Ah.

In that case no. But then I never know if they're actually nice til I've met them F2F. Some people who seem nice online can be otherwise in person. 🤷‍♂️"

Well that was fucking deep.

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By *ineapple_turnoverCouple
13 weeks ago

London

"Yes and I sometimes have been guilty of leading people on because of it which I know in the end is worse than telling the truth from the start.

This.

We've often given people longer than we probably should have because we (and Mrs in particular) can be too nice.

On the other hand some guys have gotten very lucky through her niceness so swings and roundabouts as they say

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
13 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes I do, I don't like people feeling bad & I'm a people pleaser, although I am getting better.

Mrs

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Yes I do, I don't like people feeling bad & I'm a people pleaser, although I am getting better.

Mrs "

Woah

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short"

Tell me. Straight up.

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By *ildTimes.Man
13 weeks ago

Colchester/London

Yes .. but someone wise told me to be more ruthless 😂

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short

Tell me. Straight up. "

Amirite?

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short

Tell me. Straight up.

Amirite?"

When are we getting our coffee grrrr

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit. "

Do you usually offer a friendship instead?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short

Tell me. Straight up.

Amirite?

When are we getting our coffee grrrr"

When the stars align Mr P

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

"The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit.

Do you usually offer a friendship instead? "

A lot of people don't want friendship .

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By *iss.BellaWoman
13 weeks ago

Wales

"Yes .. but someone wise told me to be more ruthless 😂"

Sound advice if you ask me.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Reject sounds too final... If they are genuinely nice people then I either meet people I fancy and would take it further if the feeling was mutual. Or I meet people I'd be happy to share a social with.

I can see a situation where there is a conflict of values, beliefs or attitudes that makes either of the above not palatable and that doesn't make them "not nice" but if we don't click there then it'll be mutual and we can just shake hands and move on.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short

Tell me. Straight up.

Amirite?

When are we getting our coffee grrrr

When the stars align Mr P"

Is this a rejection 🧐

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit.

Do you usually offer a friendship instead?

A lot of people don't want friendship ."
very true. I rarely do. Depends on how well you get on

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I don't enjoy rejecting anyone but have no problem doing it. Life is short

Tell me. Straight up.

Amirite?

When are we getting our coffee grrrr

When the stars align Mr P

Is this a rejection 🧐

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By *ags73Man
13 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I try to be nice and not lead people along.

Rejection is a tough thing for everyone and it’s a complex set of feelings. So I’m mindful of that and I may flirt but I’m not going to have someone getting too far along.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

"The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit.

Do you usually offer a friendship instead?

A lot of people don't want friendship . very true. I rarely do. Depends on how well you get on"

Precisely!

The reality soon dawned on me .

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By *andPextraCouple
13 weeks ago

North West

No- its not fair.

Nice or not, I shut people down pretty quickly so to manage their expectations.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
13 weeks ago

Leeds

No.

The mr

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
13 weeks ago

Reading

"No.

The mr "

Shocker

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By *allGuy1000Man
13 weeks ago

Reading

I do find it difficult. But sometimes it is necessary. I’m always gentlemanly in my rejection. It’s nice to be nice.

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By *orkshire UnicornWoman
13 weeks ago

Yorkshire

I find that it’s easier to ignore on here. I can send the politest rejection message and more often than not get a load of abuse back. In person I have no issue with it, people are much less likely to say the things they would while hidden behind a keyboard

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By *hesblokeMan
13 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

"I find that it’s easier to ignore on here. I can send the politest rejection message and more often than not get a load of abuse back. In person I have no issue with it, people are much less likely to say the things they would while hidden behind a keyboard"

Ain't that the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit.

Do you usually offer a friendship instead?

A lot of people don't want friendship ."

I like the friendship. Fab has actually been fun and a lot of people on here are very interesting, so platonic meets have continued even after they (or I) have left the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

No. But I always decline people as kindly and nicely as possible even if they are not very nice ..... although a teeny minority of people deserve just to be blocked.

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By *ansoffateMan
13 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Yes sometimes if I feel it will hurt their feelings. Nice doesn't necessarily equate to sensitive. People can emotionally resilient and nice.

Also I don't always know if I'm attracted to someone it can take time to develop. So hard in that way too sometimes.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

"The people I find hardest to reject are those that I find really interesting but I *know* I/we aren't a good fit.

Do you usually offer a friendship instead?

A lot of people don't want friendship .

I like the friendship. Fab has actually been fun and a lot of people on here are very interesting, so platonic meets have continued even after they (or I) have left the site."

We like friendship too but we don't offer it lightly.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
13 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Yes .. but someone wise told me to be more ruthless 😂"

Sorry Ruth, you’re lovely and attractive but….

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By *ucka39Man
13 weeks ago

Newcastle

I just move them over to friend zone

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By *ecky and justCouple
13 weeks ago

Godalming

Nope. No problem rejecting based on our preferences.

If they’re genuinely nice and have written a nice intro message then they’ll get a nice response back, just saying that we don’t match.

People we’d probably be happy to share a drink with at a club but don’t want to go any further.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
13 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Not at all, we handle the situations correctly and aren't dicks about it.

You can't have to many friends in life.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Not at all, we handle the situations correctly and aren't dicks about it.

You can't have to many friends in life. "

True

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

It’s difficult, especially if I like them as a person and we get on because I know when I do eventually have to have that conversation everything changes.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"It’s difficult, especially if I like them as a person and we get on because I know when I do eventually have to have that conversation everything changes. "

It’s worse with forum ppl

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By *aitonelMan
13 weeks ago

Liverpool

Rejecting and being rejected is never nice. I don't take pleasure from doing so (you can tell some do) because I remember how it can feel. Thankfully as men we rarely need to reject overall. One of the perks of being the one that has to initiate a majority of the time.

But it just needs to be done sometimes rejection is better than being lead on to nowhere.

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By *ildTimes.Man
13 weeks ago

Colchester/London

Depends who they are and if they have an agenda..if I like their agenda..happy days 😂

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
13 weeks ago

Always on the move

As a rejectee, I'll chip in.

A message back saying something along the lines of "thank you for your lovely message, but you're not what I'm looking for" is easier to swallow than a read/delete, or some if the nastier messages I have had back. And yes. It happens.

And for the record, I don't use it as an excuse to try and change their mind. A simple, "not a problem thanks for the reply" and I'm back in my box.

But I get that not everyone has the time or wants to spend the time replying.

Each to their own. Just nice to be nice though init?

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By *andynecklaceWoman
13 weeks ago

Someplace

Yeah

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
13 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I used to.

Then I had a bit of an epiphany. It’s not pleasant to feel like you’re hurting someone by rejecting them. But by avoiding it, you’re making it worse for them. How is it less hurtful to lie to someone, or give them false hope, especially if you like them and consider them to be a nice person? I realised I was avoiding being straight about things because it was easier for me.

So now I would rather be crystal clear with people, especially those I like, than put off those conversations. It’s actually been very helpful and generally well received

Mrs TMN x

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By *iss_Juicy79Woman
13 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I find it hard generally cause I know how difficult it is on here I try and be nice though often get abuse thrown back at me 🤷‍♀️

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By *parkle1974Woman
13 weeks ago

Leeds

No because they soon show how "nice" they actually aren't.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
13 weeks ago

North West

Yes.

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By *esthetic21Man
13 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

Its alot easier to be rude to someone across a screen than in real life

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