FabSwingers.com forum: Are you a needy partner

By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Do you need time? Do you miss them a lot? Do you need regular/ daily communication?

Do you hate these things in a partner?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

East Sussex

Whoa that's a lot of questions!

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Whoa that's a lot of questions!"

I’m intense

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
13 weeks ago

Leeds

"Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Do you need time? Do you miss them a lot? Do you need regular/ daily communication?

Do you hate these things in a partner?"

Reassuring - occasionally.

Feel loved - definitely.

Time - yes

Miss them - not really we aren't apart long.

Communication - we see each other daily so again it just happens.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Often is subjective. With the right for me partner, and effective mutual communication I don’t need frequent reassurance.

Yes, I have a need to be loved by my partner. I need quality time.

I need consistent, daily communication. Not superficial, filling the room with hot air chat, but quality conversation.

I don’t hate any of these things in a partner.

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By *iss.BellaWoman
13 weeks ago

Wales

"Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Do you need time? Do you miss them a lot? Do you need regular/ daily communication?

Do you hate these things in a partner?"

Can you be needy and still want your own space?

Because in a reltionship I like reassurance and feeling loved. But i also like my space. When we're together I want all those things. But I only want to spend half of the week with you

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 18/11/24 11:37:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I spent too many years in a relationship of being neglected in all aspects so naturally I defaulted to being needy and in constant seek of validation. Now I'm on my own I've gone the opposite way and now have hyper independence so I'm unsure how to receive anything from anyone. I know if I ever do get into a relationship they are going to need to understand that I will struggle to be everything they need and also struggle to receive everything I need from them.

Relationships are tough.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Yes,yes,yes,yes,yes,no.

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
13 weeks ago

The Continental

No to all really.

After 25+ years, we’re past that now.

We enjoy our own space and room to breathe, whilst full embracing time spent together.

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By *ad NannaWoman
13 weeks ago

East London

I would be, if I ever found a new partner.

My last relationship lasted for 30 years and I got nothing from him.

It's probably made me very needy.

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By *agerMorganMan
13 weeks ago

Canvey Island

No not at all. I like my independence too much, and for most that’s a problem..

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By *ad NannaWoman
13 weeks ago

East London

I would need a lot of physical contact.

I'd need to feel loved, desired, respected and wanted.

I'll probably spend the rest of my life single though.

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By *ellhungvweMan
13 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Needy people are draining.

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By *emorefridaCouple
13 weeks ago

La la land

Massively needy but my needs are easily met. And I'm quite clear that I am and what I require. Just because I'm needy doesn't mean I need constant reassurance, I'm quite happy for the other half to go on biking holidays with his mates and barely speak.

Needy doesn't always equate as being high maintenance

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By *ansoffateMan
13 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I think it's highly subjective in relationships as it's an interaction of two people.

For some it's more about consistency than the actual level of emotional availability etc. For others it's fluctuating levels of need.

For me it's when the expectation is that it is driven by one person in the relationship that it's a problem.

E.g.

Someone who is distant for a substantial period then decides they want my attention and is aggrieved if it isn't given instantly.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Depends what you need by reassurance. If I feel loved I don't need constant reassurance.

Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Absolutely no point having a relationship without feeling loved.

Do you need time? Quality over quantity.

Do you miss them a lot? Yes at times as we don't live together but also like my space.

Do you need regular/ daily communication? Yes but can be a few messages or can be a phonecall

Do you hate these things in a partner? Depends on what is behind the neediness ..... its about choosing a partner who is compatible

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
13 weeks ago

Always on the move

Yes. Yes I am. Like a giant Labrador

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
13 weeks ago

Reading

I find needy people very hard to handie. Even within ENM casual I have come across people who wanted more than I was prepared to give so it didn't last long. If it's new there tends to be a lot more communication than when is more established but I wouldn't like only occasional contact though. That would feel more like a fb than a fwb.

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By *enk15Man
13 weeks ago

Evesham

Yes I am and I'm not sorry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

No, I don’t think I am at all.

I enjoy my own space and don’t need constant reassurance from them. I prefer things like physical affection to be on my own terms, which has caused problems for me in the past.

Of course I want to feel loved or there wouldn’t be any reason to carry the relationship on.

I think a little bit of everything in moderation is fine, too much of it is overwhelming for me.

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By *alm_one4Man
13 weeks ago

RM16

I need sex from my partner, that’s about as needy as I get

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

Cute. I’ve enjoyed reading these

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By *ools and the brainCouple
13 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

She is I'm very low maintenance.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
13 weeks ago

Hampshire

"She is I'm very low maintenance.

Hmmmmmmmmm

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By *ools and the brainCouple
13 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"She is I'm very low maintenance.

Hmmmmmmmmm

Shush you

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By *ell GwynnWoman
13 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Dunno. I've had partners say I'm far too self-sufficient and others say I'm too needy 🤷‍♀️

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By *exxyyDy11Man
13 weeks ago

North West

"Dunno. I've had partners say I'm far too self-sufficient and others say I'm too needy 🤷‍♀️"

Healthy balance then

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By *viatrixWoman
13 weeks ago

Redhill

I am, though I have mellowed A LOT.

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By *ansoffateMan
13 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"Dunno. I've had partners say I'm far too self-sufficient and others say I'm too needy 🤷‍♀️"

I can relate to that. All dependent on compatibility I guess, willingness to compromise, consideration for partners feelings and so on.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Dunno. I've had partners say I'm far too self-sufficient and others say I'm too needy 🤷‍♀️"

Definitely feel that it may depend on the person. I’ve had partners where they’ve said they felt like the needy one and other relationships where I’m like- it’s me.

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By *eltCuteMightDeleteWoman
13 weeks ago

Reading

Yes. I definitely need more reassurance than most. I don't think I'm needy though. Just that I need confirmation of things.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
13 weeks ago

Chester

"Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Do you need time? Do you miss them a lot? Do you need regular/ daily communication?

Do you hate these things in a partner?"

Reassurance - no, never.

Feel loved - no, respected, yes.

Time - erm, I'm going to say yes, because without time, you're not partners.

Miss them - I don't miss people who I see regularly. I lost a fwb a while ago though, and yes, I miss her. Different people have different talents.

Regular daily communication - not necessarily regular/daily no. I don't see it like that. I see it as "whenever one party wants to chat". That might be daily, hourly, bi-daily or whatever else.

Do I hate these things in a partner - Hmmm... If a woman is constantly seeking reassurance, it's tiring. If a woman wants to feel loved, it's nice I suppose. If a woman constantly wants my time, it can be divisive - I don't like that. If a woman misses me, it's nice to feel wanted but it can make people feel guilty when it shouldn't. Regular daily communication, I'm happy with that. I like to listen to new ideas, new concepts and so on.

Infact, that's an interesting point. I crave/I'm attracted to people who are able to augment my mental wellbeing - if that makes sense. I find women who watch love Ireland, who just want to watch films all day, and who don't think at all - to be utterly boring. I'd go as far as saying that if a really beautiful woman who was mentally dull was to come onto me, I wouldn't get hard. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

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By *r-8-BBCMan
13 weeks ago

LONDON

"Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Do you need time? Do you miss them a lot? Do you need regular/ daily communication?

Do you hate these things in a partner?"

Definitely not

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Yes. I definitely need more reassurance than most. I don't think I'm needy though. Just that I need confirmation of things. "

I like that. Nicely put.

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
13 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

I would say overall that if I'm 'involved' with someone and emotions are present, then yes... I suppose I am.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"I would say overall that if I'm 'involved' with someone and emotions are present, then yes... I suppose I am. "

My man

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Yes

Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Always!!

Do you need time? Time for what? Each other? We always make time for one another.

Do you miss them a lot? We miss each other and if we could would spend all our time at home around one another!

Do you need regular/ daily communication? Regular and daily communication is great to have, so yes.

Do you hate these things in a partner? Nopes

When you love your partner, time and communication are things are important. A relationship requires effort from both parties and when you genuinely communicate and are best friends then it does not seem like the chore these questions seem to suggest

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By *ruceyyMan
13 weeks ago

London

Look, tell me I look good every now and then, touch and stroke me every now and then.

But mainly be funny and upbeat.

Other than that, you listen to your Taylor swift, have some cocktails with the girls, hell flirt with boys a little. That's my stance.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
13 weeks ago

Chester

"Do you feed reassurance from your partner often? Do you need to feel loved from your partner? Do you need time? Do you miss them a lot? Do you need regular/ daily communication?

Do you hate these things in a partner?

Can you be needy and still want your own space?

Because in a reltionship I like reassurance and feeling loved. But i also like my space. When we're together I want all those things. But I only want to spend half of the week with you

Do you start to feel trapped or restricted if someone starts getting too obsessive? Like as if they're trying to suppress you and lock you down?

Almost like "Someone is trying to remove my claws"... Something like that?

Something like someone is trying to succinctly move your fences back or forward while your sleeping. Something weird like that? Leave my fences alone!!!

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By *ohnjones3210Man
13 weeks ago

Chester

"Dunno. I've had partners say I'm far too self-sufficient and others say I'm too needy 🤷‍♀️"

How do you feel if someone tries to demand too much of your time or attention?

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By *eliWoman
13 weeks ago

"Do you feed reassurance from your partner often?"

No, I don't. Just consistent behaviour/communication. That doesn't mean frequent, it's more about the style. Otherwise it can be a bit of a headfuck and I ask questions to understand it/lose interest.

"Do you need to feel loved from your partner? "
If they love me, yes. If they don't no. If they say they love me, I like to feel they do.

"Do you need time? "
Yes, quality time. Again, it's not so much about the frequency of it as it is the quality. I make them my focus when I spend time with them. It's a basic level of respect in my mind. Even more important if it's a long distance partner.

"Do you miss them a lot? "
Sometimes yes. If things remind me of them, songs, films, certain literature. More so if I don't see them oft. It is what it is, just makes spending time with them even more enjoyable.

"Do you need regular/ daily communication?"
No I don't. I do need quality communication though. If every conversation is "Hey Meli, how's your day been?" etc my eyes quickly dry from utter boredom. One partner messages me every 2-3 business days. When he does it's mentally stimulating, engaging. I can't be doing with daily if it's mundane. As much as I wish I could mask it, I give zero fucks about what someone's eaten every day, how the weather is. That level of dull.

I do like more messages in the run up to spending time with someone, to feel like they actively want to spend time with me.

"Do you hate these things in a partner?"

No. It depends on how it's handled. I know that one person's needy can be another's distance. I've been called needy for hoping for a message after a date with someone I've been dating for some time. Distant because one message sufficed. I'm very happily poly but if it feels like they're demanding things I can't offer, expect me to be their everything I shut down.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

You make me think Meli.

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By *andynecklaceWoman
13 weeks ago

Someplace

Yes to all

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I don't let myself be needy.

Needy men just annoy me and turn me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I'm not answering anything heavy before meditation it's too much bloody effort

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By *parkle1974Woman
13 weeks ago

Leeds

I can't stand needy people.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I can't stand needy people."
tell me how much so , please please I need to know how much you can't stand the neediness 🤣🤣( sorry had too 🤣)

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By *parkle1974Woman
13 weeks ago

Leeds

"I can't stand needy people.tell me how much so , please please I need to know how much you can't stand the neediness 🤣🤣( sorry had too 🤣)"

🤣🤣 the ones that need constant attention..like 2 year old kids! 🤣🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I can't stand needy people.tell me how much so , please please I need to know how much you can't stand the neediness 🤣🤣( sorry had too 🤣)

🤣🤣 the ones that need constant attention..like 2 year old kids! 🤣🤣"
I need more examples a 1000 times more and reassuring in my sleep as to why !! 😂😂(I'll stop now I promise 🤗)

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

Can we just all agree that neediness is the anti lube here ? Pretty sure in the profiles I've seen it's not been listed as a turn on

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Can we just all agree that neediness is the anti lube here ? Pretty sure in the profiles I've seen it's not been listed as a turn on "

And yet- I’m doing just fine on this website

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"Can we just all agree that neediness is the anti lube here ? Pretty sure in the profiles I've seen it's not been listed as a turn on

And yet- I’m doing just fine on this website

"
haha in that case I'm all ears Paduan , teach me the needy arts please 🙏😅

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

There's no easy answer to the many questions... Needing to feel loved and missing someone isn't needy. It's just part of being in a relationship.

I think the term "needy" has connotations of wanting excessive amounts of the thigs you mention. A partner is someone to go to for reassurance when unsure, to feel loved when vulnerable. If you didn't miss and want to communicate then is there even a relationship there?

Personally I have days where I'm a little more needy than others depending on the events. When my brother or Auntie died I'd say I was needy. But when she needed someone to be there for her then I wasn't.

A partner, to me, is the person you want to share life with, its ups and downs.

I loved the dynamic between Leonidas and his Queen, Gorgo in 300. She was what he needed so he could be what she needed. Compliment, not compete...

Support when I feel weak, inspire me to be stronger, share in our success.

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenic OP Man
13 weeks ago

Ends

"Can we just all agree that neediness is the anti lube here ? Pretty sure in the profiles I've seen it's not been listed as a turn on

And yet- I’m doing just fine on this website

haha in that case I'm all ears Paduan , teach me the needy arts please 🙏😅"

I make all women feel like I NEED them. They love that shit.

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By *ad NannaWoman
13 weeks ago

East London

I want a man who will come in from work, walk up behind me while I'm at the sink, wrap his arms around me and nuzzle my neck while whispering how much he loves me.

I'm that needy.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I want a man who will come in from work, walk up behind me while I'm at the sink, wrap his arms around me and nuzzle my neck while whispering how much he loves me.

I'm that needy."

That's just being a partner isn't it? Maybe I'm that needy too...

PS, you can do that to me too. The sexiest thing a woman can do in my book is initiate affection without being prompted.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
13 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"Dunno. I've had partners say I'm far too self-sufficient and others say I'm too needy 🤷‍♀️

How do you feel if someone tries to demand too much of your time or attention?"

I like giving attention when I have the time and energy to do so. I get depleted often so need solitude to recharge, and most people are understanding of that and it's not an issue. It's become an issue when my need for solitude has been met with sulkiness and passive aggressive comments, even when I've given them a heads up in advance. That makes me feel resentful and suffocated.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Um. Probably not?

I for sure have my needs. Expectations and little things that mean a lot to me. But not needy in any traditional standard.

Life is getting in the way for a while? A heads up is appreciated but not necessary unless it's a long term thing. I don't need a message every day or instant responses. If they're not in the mood or not feeling up to The Sex I'll have a touch of disappointment, but readjust pretty quickly and just look forward to when we can do The Sex.

I value my independence. I also value my partners' independence.

I want to be wanted, I want to be adored, I want to be fucked. But I don't enjoy feeling needed.

Happy to be there for short term trauma response neediness and help them wherever I can. But if they need me always without direct triggers then I get very uncomfortable very quickly 💜

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By *ad NannaWoman
13 weeks ago

East London

"I want a man who will come in from work, walk up behind me while I'm at the sink, wrap his arms around me and nuzzle my neck while whispering how much he loves me.

I'm that needy.

That's just being a partner isn't it? Maybe I'm that needy too...

PS, you can do that to me too. The sexiest thing a woman can do in my book is initiate affection without being prompted."

It's not something I've ever had the pleasure of, and I'm not sure it's something most people do.

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

All joking aside it's about finding that balance . For some you're going to be too much and for others it's not going to be enough but there's an insane amount of variables to all of it

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

"I want a man who will come in from work, walk up behind me while I'm at the sink, wrap his arms around me and nuzzle my neck while whispering how much he loves me.

I'm that needy.

That's just being a partner isn't it? Maybe I'm that needy too...

PS, you can do that to me too. The sexiest thing a woman can do in my book is initiate affection without being prompted.

It's not something I've ever had the pleasure of, and I'm not sure it's something most people do."

I can't speak of others but it's a huge part of a relationship for me, much more important than sex. I think to have a partner look at me with eyes that say "you'd get it" as we leave for a night out is so undervalued.

And the feeling of giving that to someone else is exciting.

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