FabSwingers.com forum: I disagree with you...

By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Absolutely not a case of me being right and then the other person being an automatic dickhead.

If people didn't have different opinions then the world would be pretty boring.

Caveat being as long as it's not weird shit or personal attacks on other people for whatever reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Not at all. It's nice to see other people's perspectives. The ones that try to force their opinion are a bit much tho. It's ok to agree on disagreeing.

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
16 weeks ago

Excommunicdo.

Nah, not for me. I know people that think I’m a dickhead. I’m cool with that. I’m happy to be disagreed with, and will listen to the reasoning, even though I won’t be swayed.

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By *emorefridaCouple
16 weeks ago

La la land

Very much depends on the tone of how the disagreement has been written. There are times I've taken things personally but then it's been about things that are personal to me, and it's flipping hard not to.

But in general on here I either roll my eyes or may counter post. But more often than not it's not worth it, nobody is going to change their minds on here generally.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
16 weeks ago

East Sussex

No to both. If someone disagrees with me I enjoy the idea that one or both of us might learn something

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By *usurrusCouple
16 weeks ago

North West.

Good question. There are some things that clearly indicate a degree of 'dickheadedness' - gravity deniers, flat earthers, young earth creationists. But even some of these may be more about cultural or religious inculcation.

Mostly, no, not dickheads - we all say daft things sometimes. I know I do!

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By *ools and the brainCouple
16 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Yes they are dead to me

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By *iker JackMan
16 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

We are humans. We are not all meant to get along and actually seeing a different side or opinion, for me, is important.

That said if someone says something that is homophobic or racist or anything else of that type then I just disengage and block

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
16 weeks ago

Leeds

No not many people agree with my outlandish and barbaric views, so I’m used to it.

In my 42 years, I may know fuck all, but one thing I have learned is I don’t think like everyone else.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Nope. It's what a forum is for

Even occasionally can be swayed by a convincing argument

Let's have a mass debate

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Absolutely not a case of me being right and then the other person being an automatic dickhead.

If people didn't have different opinions then the world would be pretty boring.

Caveat being as long as it's not weird shit or personal attacks on other people for whatever reason."

Yeah, as soon as it goes down the ad hominem route I'm out.

But I can disagree with someone's opinion on something without hating them. There seems to be this growing belief that if a person doesn't agree it means they dislike them. Utter tosh.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

If I think someone is a dickhead it's generally for much more valid reasons.

It'd be a boring place if we all agreed on stuff.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
16 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I don’t like to live in an echo chamber so I prefer to surround myself with different opinions to mine. I like debates but it can also depend on what we’re disagreeing on.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

"Absolutely not a case of me being right and then the other person being an automatic dickhead.

If people didn't have different opinions then the world would be pretty boring.

Caveat being as long as it's not weird shit or personal attacks on other people for whatever reason.

Yeah, as soon as it goes down the ad hominem route I'm out.

But I can disagree with someone's opinion on something without hating them. There seems to be this growing belief that if a person doesn't agree it means they dislike them. Utter tosh."

I seriously think SM has a big impact on how people think they can interact with other people

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By *eordieJeansCouple
16 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"If I think someone is a dickhead it's generally for much more valid reasons.

It'd be a boring place if we all agreed on stuff.

I disagree.

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By *usurrusCouple
16 weeks ago

North West.

"If I think someone is a dickhead it's generally for much more valid reasons.

It'd be a boring place if we all agreed on stuff.

Polite applause and affirming head nods.

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By *tealthbomber2024Man
16 weeks ago

southend-on-sea

Calling people out on their opinion will allways cause a problem. If their opinion is not within the realms of the average acceptance. "flat earthing, reincarnation, and a multitude" It is probably unlikely you will ever truly be compatible or have a good discussion.

I suppose one has to calibrate. However, certain topics hotwire me and I might just walk away.

We get better as we get older at dogging the bullets, except on here muahahahahhaha

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

"If I think someone is a dickhead it's generally for much more valid reasons.

It'd be a boring place if we all agreed on stuff.

I disagree."

Dickhead^

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By *tephenAndHisPicklenicMan
16 weeks ago

Ends

I don’t take it personally most of the time.

I’m the people I think are dickheads are few but I’ve no doubt in my mind at all that they are. Them disagreeing with me is only a factor if the topic is race related usually. And it’s not disagreeing with ‘me’.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Absolutely not, the world would be a very boring place if we all agreed on everything. I actually enjoy asking questions from people who have different views to me, I find it interesting hearing the argument from every side.

On another note, there are some people who do go down the personal route. The type that will say the sky is green just to disagree with you because they don't like you. Those passive aggressive people think they are being intelligently sly, but most people can see through it.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

I disagree with everyone who thinks I'm not worth chatting too.

I may even be coming round to that opinion

But I don't hate them.

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By *ou only live onceMan
16 weeks ago

London

It depends a lot on the person/issue. There are definitely some people I disagree with who are cast-iron dickheads. It's often clear in lots of other ways too.

Others I just respect that we disagree but doesn't affect how I feel about them overall too much.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Not at all. It's nice to see other people's perspectives. The ones that try to force their opinion are a bit much tho. It's ok to agree on disagreeing. "

Yeah, I guess online tone can be quite hard to convey/read and sometimes someone might seem like they're trying to force their opinion when really they're just very passionate about it. Sometimes.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
16 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"If I think someone is a dickhead it's generally for much more valid reasons.

It'd be a boring place if we all agreed on stuff.

I disagree.

Dickhead^"

We can agree on that.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
16 weeks ago

In the clouds

No, I just think we all have different life experiences and upbringings (obviously) which have molded our own beliefs, views and preferences and I respect that.

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By *ir tootMan
16 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Absolutely not a case of me being right and then the other person being an automatic dickhead.

If people didn't have different opinions then the world would be pretty boring.

Caveat being as long as it's not weird shit or personal attacks on other people for whatever reason.

Yeah, as soon as it goes down the ad hominem route I'm out.

But I can disagree with someone's opinion on something without hating them. There seems to be this growing belief that if a person doesn't agree it means they dislike them. Utter tosh.

I seriously think SM has a big impact on how people think they can interact with other people"

This, I presume keyboard warriors would fall into this.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
16 weeks ago

Leeds

"If I think someone is a dickhead it's generally for much more valid reasons.

It'd be a boring place if we all agreed on stuff.

Checked, not blocked, dam.

No dickhead award for me this year 🙄

The mr

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
16 weeks ago

St Albans/ North Welsh Borders

Depends on how the disagreement is expressed, come at me with aggression and nastiness then hell yeah, I beleive that person is a dickhead

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By *hortyscotWoman
16 weeks ago

Glasgow

The best part of fighting is the making up

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Very much depends on the tone of how the disagreement has been written. There are times I've taken things personally but then it's been about things that are personal to me, and it's flipping hard not to.

But in general on here I either roll my eyes or may counter post. But more often than not it's not worth it, nobody is going to change their minds on here generally. "

Are you always sure that it has been personally directed at you Frida? Those times when you think it has been.

I completely understand the second paragraph. I have to weigh up how much of a f*ck I give when it comes to more contentious topics. It's very easy for me to find something/someone more enjoyable to talk with.

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By *parkle1974Woman
16 weeks ago

Leeds

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?"

And no

Not everyone is going to agree. I like differing opinions and like to enter discussions to see how they think/feel the way they do.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"No to both. If someone disagrees with me I enjoy the idea that one or both of us might learn something"

That's a good way of looking at it! I like being challenged. Not when it's unnecessarily done and someone is just being a bit of a throbber but when I can learn and there's an element of basic respect; bring it on.

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By *MCMan
16 weeks ago

London/EA

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

A 6 can look like a 9 depending from how you view it…

Some people are just too narrow minded to consider there’s more than one way to look at a situation.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
16 weeks ago

Manchester

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?"

It depends on what the disagreement is about. If they express bigoted views then yes, I'll probably think they're a dickhead. If we're disagreeing on the best type of cola, or whether Alien or Aliens is the better film, then I probably won't (except that it's obviously Alien and anyone who disagrees is a monster).

There are lots of topics I can disagree with people on and still get on with perfectly well. But there are some that act as lines in the sand for me.

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By *tephanie63Woman
16 weeks ago

BRIDGWATER

If they are rude and insulting in their expression of disagreement, then yes I think they are a dickhead ..

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Good question. There are some things that clearly indicate a degree of 'dickheadedness' - gravity deniers, flat earthers, young earth creationists. But even some of these may be more about cultural or religious inculcation.

Mostly, no, not dickheads - we all say daft things sometimes. I know I do! "

Aww, thanks Melliflous, that's my praise kink sorted for the day.

Yeah, we (a general we) can be quick to dismiss, or worse, mock another's opinion. Belittling it because clearly we're the more educated one with our great opinion. I think that's rather close minded. To shut off another's experience like that.

Every single poster has posted daft things previously. It happens. I've posted right codswallop.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Yes they are dead to me

At least you're honest.

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
16 weeks ago

kent

No, I don’t take it personally. We’re all different, with different experiences. It stands to reason that our opinions will differ. What I don’t understand, is why other people find a difference of opinion so difficult to accept, even to the point of destroying a friendship because of it. People are weird. Best to avoid them.

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By *piritualBlackBWW1979Woman
16 weeks ago

Medway

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?"

I would say it's a mixture of a lot of what has been said.

However there are some topics, that are too detrimental to ones existence to be able to push under the agree to disagree category.

For example, if you are of the opinion that one group of people are better than another (please don't read too much into my example), I am 100% certain that the person is an arse and I would have nothing more to do with them.

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By *ealitybitesMan
16 weeks ago

Belfast

I don't mind others having a different opinion but I do take issue with those who try to force theirs on me.

I most definitely think someone is a dickhead if they tell me that something I lived through and have personal experience of is wrong or couldn't have happened.

I've found it's usually dickheads relying on the media, social or otherwise, for their information who seem to be triggered by actual experience.

I also form opinions on people's actions here, usually through direct engagement with them.

Dickhead isn't a gender specific term either.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"No not many people agree with my outlandish and barbaric views, so I’m used to it.

In my 42 years, I may know fuck all, but one thing I have learned is I don’t think like everyone else.

The mr "

We all think differently, no one has the exact same way of viewing the world. Part of what makes it interesting.

P.S Where's the barbaric you softie? You've been holding back on us.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Nope. It's what a forum is for

Even occasionally can be swayed by a convincing argument

Let's have a mass debate

Let us not. Please. It's far from a debate more oft than not sadly.

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By *aitonelMan
16 weeks ago

Liverpool

Depends on the topic and then how so the disagreement is within that topic of discussion.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"I don’t take it personally most of the time.

Yes! That's a very good point and I'm glad you made it. See, I don't think we actually disagree with the person. The views they hold? Yes, definitely. I disagree with certain views on topics but it's not them as a person. It's the topic. There's an element of distance in it. When it's forgotten? That's when things become unnecessarily heightened; well, one of the reasons.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"Absolutely not, the world would be a very boring place if we all agreed on everything. I actually enjoy asking questions from people who have different views to me, I find it interesting hearing the argument from every side.

Or perhaps they just... don't agree with your views? We can sometimes ascribe dislike when there isn't any, think people are being passive aggressive etc when really... your views just aren't that compatible. And that's fine.

On a personal level, I know there are some people whose views I don't share. It doesn't mean I hate them. Far from it. It is what it is, nothing deeper.

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By *electableicecreamMan
16 weeks ago

The West

I usually evaluate dickheadedness based on how someone expresses themselves and not on what. The world is full of wildly differing views to mine.

If someone is getting mean, personal, condescending or is having a troll for shits and giggles I am liable to assume they are in fact a dick.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
16 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Everyone's entitled to an opinion. I don't judge others for their beliefs....yet they often judge me for mine.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"It depends a lot on the person/issue. There are definitely some people I disagree with who are cast-iron dickheads. It's often clear in lots of other ways too.

Others I just respect that we disagree but doesn't affect how I feel about them overall too much."

Yeah, when it's shown in other ways that can be hard to ignore. But, as a random example... disagreeing with someone's poor username choice doesn't affect how I see them. Too much.

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By *ou only live onceMan
16 weeks ago

London

"It depends a lot on the person/issue. There are definitely some people I disagree with who are cast-iron dickheads. It's often clear in lots of other ways too.

Others I just respect that we disagree but doesn't affect how I feel about them overall too much.

Yeah, when it's shown in other ways that can be hard to ignore. But, as a random example... disagreeing with someone's poor username choice doesn't affect how I see them. Too much."

That's a tough one. To overcome something at those dickhead proportions would take a lot for me. Let's hope you never have to confront that.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
16 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

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By *emorefridaCouple
16 weeks ago

La la land

But in general on here I either roll my eyes or may counter post. But more often than not it's not worth it, nobody is going to change their minds on here generally.

Are you always sure that it has been personally directed at you Frida? Those times when you think it has been.

Oh I'm positively sure it's not always personal. However, when something is important to you it's not to feel it is sometimes. What's more important is that I recognise it's a me problem when I look back at it after I've calmed down a bit.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?

There are lots of topics I can disagree with people on and still get on with perfectly well. But there are some that act as lines in the sand for me."

That makes sense. Certain topics can be quite personal and also... yes. Those lines are very individual but important to us.

What if their views aren't "bigoted" but we disagree with what they're saying so label it as such? I see that happen a lot on here, more so than other places.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data."

Are you sure you're always presenting the correct argument and not sometimes debating something the other person isn't even saying?

Because yeah, I get why people won't change their mind if *that* happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

People are entitled to an opinion. I am not ego centric enough to believe I am always on all subjects. Listen to the other side of a debate and sometimes you might learn something new. You might even realise that you could be wrong.

As to being called a "dickhead" I am a great believer in sticks and stones etc. If I am too entrenched on a topic and subsequently find that I was wrong then I would probably deserve the title.

Life is too short to get upset over random, online arguements or discussions.

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By *aitonelMan
16 weeks ago

Liverpool

[Removed by poster at 17/11/24 18:07:45]

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By *eordieJeansCouple
16 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"[Removed by poster at 17/11/24 18:07:45]"

^^ disagreed with himself.

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By *aitonelMan
16 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Next time some asshole says to you, "I have a right to my opinion," you say, "Oh yeah? Well, I have a right to my opinion, and my opinion is that you have no right to your opinion." Then &@#£&% the fuck and walk away!"

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By *aitonelMan
16 weeks ago

Liverpool

"[Removed by poster at 17/11/24 18:07:45]

^^ disagreed with himself."

Oh you don't even know the half of it!

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By *ake_or_deathMan
16 weeks ago

Manchester

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?

There are lots of topics I can disagree with people on and still get on with perfectly well. But there are some that act as lines in the sand for me.

That makes sense. Certain topics can be quite personal and also... yes. Those lines are very individual but important to us.

What if their views aren't "bigoted" but we disagree with what they're saying so label it as such? I see that happen a lot on here, more so than other places. "

I hope I can avoid thinking someone is a bigot if they're just disagreeing with me - maybe I'm wrong about that.

I do think we're living in times which feel very 'high stakes' - a racist rapist as American President, the climate crisis, humanitarian disasters all over, rights and protections being stripped away. We're very much not in a political period of alignment and arguments can feel more important perhaps. That said, I also think this could be a bit of a 'youth of today' issue - one that has always been the case but we just don't remember it. Mods vs Rockers led to violence in the streets, not just testy social media exchanges. People used to be able to express racist opinions with no comeback because they were accepted. If disagreements are more charged now could that be a sign that things have actually improved because previously accepted behaviour is now considered objectionable by a lot of people and argued against?

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By *exxyyDy11Man
16 weeks ago

North West

No, disagreements are healthy. Scientists disagree amongst themselves, historians are the same.

As long as you're respectful and understanding of the other person's views. It is fine to disagree.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
16 weeks ago

Chester

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?"

It's not my fault that other people lack common sense or knowledge. I feel sorry for them. 🫢😂

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By *a LunaWoman
16 weeks ago

South Wales

Do I think they’re a dickhead? Well it would depend on how they worded their disagreement.

A lot of folk can get personal and nasty and that’s not needed.

Just agree to disagree and move on.

I used to get a bit passionate in disagreements when I first joined Fab, but I think (hope) I’ve mellowed a lot since then.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
16 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"If you disagree with someone, whether it's a post online, their actions etc, you get the idea - do you think they're a dickhead?

If someone disagrees with you, do you take it personally? Is it always a personal attack?"

In answer to your first question, yes.

In answer to your second question, no, they’re just a Dickhead.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

But in general on here I either roll my eyes or may counter post. But more often than not it's not worth it, nobody is going to change their minds on here generally.

Are you always sure that it has been personally directed at you Frida? Those times when you think it has been.

🩷 I love this but won't fangirl over you, thanks for indulging my curiosity!

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"If they are rude and insulting in their expression of disagreement, then yes I think they are a dickhead .."

Fair. A lot of it is down to how it's presented. Sometimes I can misread people though. I'm certain we all can.

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Depends on the topic. I may not necessarily think they are dickheads but definitively view them as narrow minded. Sometimes I feel sorry for their very narrow views. It depends on the seriousness of the topic at hand. On here, I mostly carry on with life and don't give it much of my energy.

I welcome people to disagree with me. Sometimes it can lead to really intriguing conversations, opportunities to learn, see a different POV, or more. With some people, disagreements can become highly arousing moments.

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By *eli OP Woman
16 weeks ago

"No, I don’t take it personally. We’re all different, with different experiences. It stands to reason that our opinions will differ. What I don’t understand, is why other people find a difference of opinion so difficult to accept, even to the point of destroying a friendship because of it. People are weird. Best to avoid them. "

No, I don't think it is best to avoid them. People are wonderful things. Challenging sure but also enriching. There's so much to learn from another, including about yourself.

I think certain topics just say to someone they're not fundamentally compatible, rightly or wrongly. They can be charged through life experience, emotions, all of that. I don't agree with a friendship being destroyed necessarily but I can understand why it might wane.

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