FabSwingers.com forum: stress

By *exycleaner OP Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

ive just been thru 18 months of hell.

so was wondering whats the most stressful

time you have had .

ive done the usual stuff ie new job moving

house,death in the family and now got divorce to add to my list.

any tips on how to get thru it all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm probably university exams. Not had that much stress in life so far thankfully

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester

Defo divorcing 3rd hubby...custody battle was hell on earth

what got me through it ...one ff my daughters and friends on fab ..thanks guys you know who you are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Deep breaths, writing things down and having people to talk to.

I had a relationship break up, losing my dad and my own health issues as well as other things in 2 years. I got through it by having great friends (you learn who they are when you have problems!)

good luck xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have had so many stressful times,

not much i could do, things usualy dont seem quite so bad after a while though, maybe weeks maybe years later.

i find just going out and meeting nice cheerful, positive people, usualy women.

make me feel a lot better and takes my mind off things.

in the newspaper yesterday it said that depresion is catching and that if you are with people who are gloomy and negative then you will end up feeling the same. that is so true.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive had 5 years of hell with my ex wife, shes developed a personality disorder im sure. we have never been able to break contact because we have a daughter together. She swtiches between being quite amicable one minute to being the most spiteful bitter B**** imaginable,Wouldnt mind if it was my fault that we split but it was her having an affair. plus she found out that she was pregnant a a couple of weeks after we split so i had 9 months of hell not knowing if the child was mine or not. shes put me through so much hell that ive been diagnosed with severe depression even though ive never felt depressed myself. Add to that a break up with a partner 5 months ago and theres still stuff being sorted from that even though we are very amicable and friends and both my parents being diagnosed with serious health conditions in the last few months. yeah ill say ive had my fair share of stressfull times.

The way i get through it is by setting myself goals in sorting things out in my life but not worrying too much if i dont reach them goals, youll get through it eventually and the saying "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" will start meaning a lot more to you in a few months i promise. stay strong and it will all blow over xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exycleaner OP Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

my ex ran off with another woman he bullied and controlled me for years but it

hurts so much what he did .

the demons play havoc in my head all the time .i know what doesnt kill you makes you stronger cos it nearly has killed me .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Figure out the one or two most important things about your life, strip out all the clutter and keep it simple.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

had an ex who was also controlling me

I left her before it went in to deep

glad i did

best cure is really go for a break away from it all see something that you not seen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moving and having to sale a property was by far the most stressful compared with deaths of partner and my dad. New jobs and divorce were easy by comparison.

I just got on with it, and looked forward to a better life after a change.

Good luck to the OP

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hris148Man
over a year ago

In the past year I have got divorced, moved my parents 150 miles to be closer to me, changed jobs and moved house twice.

I've been on prozac for years but when things get really difficult I go to counselling to organise my thoughts and find my way through

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most stressful thing thats ever happened to me is being diagnosed with a rare genetic bone disease that can't be treated, and that doctors dont know a lot about.

It took six years to get a diagnosis, at one point I was called a hypochondriac and sometimes I feel like I still am.

I've had ten operations, some of them disfiguring, and people can be cruel, to the point at one time I wouldnt leave the house.

I have a job now and work, but its all one day at a time, dealing with operations, chronic pain and not always being able to do what I used to.

I tend to deal with things by sticking close to people I know I can rely on. I try to take no notice of idiots and if things get too much I take some me time and turn inward, do something I like, often alone, until I've re evaluated and decided how to deal with or cope in a situation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I d say the most serious stress is the one where you have little or no support ina situation that is anxiety provoking for you in some shape or form, so for some it might be divorce and for others it might be exams etc.

I find a CBT like approach can help : Imagine worst kind of scenario and what the consequences would be - often they are not as bad as you might think.

Then try and think who could be a support for you and which friends might (possibly quite unintentionally)be a hinderance. Bring in those that could be helpful.

Identify one or two sensible good friends with whom you can bounce off ideas, describe the stress and see what they might suggest.

Do a spider diagramm where you write ona piece of paper what your options are - think outside the box, no matter how outrageous the thought might be. It brings things into focus.

Most people have the best answer already in their head, they just need to bounce it off another person.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ive just been thru 18 months of hell.

so was wondering whats the most stressful

time you have had .

ive done the usual stuff ie new job moving

house,death in the family and now got divorce to add to my list.

any tips on how to get thru it all

Losing my husband then selling the house we had together which was very upsetting then a year later losing my mom then my Labrador Dolly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this .. Dad died end of oct and then 3 of my 4 children leaving home as have houses and other half's now ... was a very very big low in my life with things changing I had no control over and only now I am seeing things more normal its part of life I know .But I did hit a bad time Was not like me .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *owlmMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Ive had 5 years of hell with my ex wife, shes developed a personality disorder im sure. we have never been able to break contact because we have a daughter together. She swtiches between being quite amicable one minute to being the most spiteful bitter B**** imaginable,Wouldnt mind if it was my fault that we split but it was her having an affair. plus she found out that she was pregnant a a couple of weeks after we split so i had 9 months of hell not knowing if the child was mine or not. shes put me through so much hell that ive been diagnosed with severe depression even though ive never felt depressed myself. Add to that a break up with a partner 5 months ago and theres still stuff being sorted from that even though we are very amicable and friends and both my parents being diagnosed with serious health conditions in the last few months. yeah ill say ive had my fair share of stressfull times.

my sisters like that i seriously wonder if shes got a drug/cocaine problem. shes a manager of a big company. very mean/money orientated. very nuts. not sure what to do.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obnessMan
over a year ago

york

Losing my grandson at 5 days old and then 6 months later my wife was bad. How to get through it? Support from friends and damily. Filling my head with work. Going numb. Might not be the right answer but i am still here and functioning.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

This week as just been laid off after 12 years with company

Steve

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

losing my 15, then having to do GCSE 2.months later.

controlling family long story

having to deal with very ill newborn after a section on my own.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"losing my 15, then having to do GCSE 2.months later.

controlling family long story

having to deal with very ill newborn after a section on my own."

my mother at 15

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exycleaner OP Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

thanks for all the messages one of the hardest things is ive no family to turn to theyve all gone my only sister has a daughter who is a single mum to help rather than me.

my other sister was a physcologist so wish

she was here to talk to and my brother was a magistrate he dealt mainly in family law

so wish i could have talked to him about stuff solictor said that i not understand. xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have gone through many years of divorce, death, jobs etc., im just a stubborn bitch tho and even though i have been sad at times I tend to get on with it and move my life on. I dont have a circle of friends to rely on and have always relied on myself. You cant control if someone dies and you cant control roaming husbands, i can control the stress it causes though. Work wise?..I dont get paid enough to get stressed.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"thanks for all the messages one of the hardest things is ive no family to turn to theyve all gone my only sister has a daughter who is a single mum to help rather than me.

my other sister was a physcologist so wish

she was here to talk to and my brother was a magistrate he dealt mainly in family law

so wish i could have talked to him about stuff solictor said that i not understand. xx

We are here for you if you need a chat xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the job is stressful, I would deal with the factors that are causing the stress.

If I can't, then I would look for something else.

Although the grass is not always greener on the other side, usually it is same sh1t with different smell, a change of scenery always helps.

I have always been very independent and I believe that helps a great deal in dealing with life changing events.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *exycleaner OP Woman
over a year ago

pontefract

ive moved out of the marital home

had to do as he wanted it sold and so im 4

milea away from where i was living,

so have some different walks to go on wi

my 2 dogs which is a bonus

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The pets will cheer you up when you are low I am sure.

Mine certainly did when my late partner died suddenly over 4 years ago, and have continued to do so.

After a stressful day at work, I can always rely on my cat and dog to come bouncing up to me when I am home.

Bless them both!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not gonna name all my stressful times.

There's been so many.

But, positive mental attitude goes a long way and support from my friends, also writing down thoughts, also counselling.

Really depends on the stress.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find planning for the future helps.

It gives me a sense of purpose, and something to look forward to.

It could be something totally unrealistic like a dream house being built from scratch if and when I win the lottery, and spec'ing the things I would like to have in it etc...

I already know where I shall be holidaying in 2017.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to agree that having great friends really helps you get through the worst in life ! And its when you find out your TRUE friends !!! Been through marriage break up...and not seeing my wee one...some dark days , but good friends and family certainly help !

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol "

Stress is personal and unique and nothing wrong with your earlier post about being stressed through exams.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol "

The older one gets, the more life experience one is likely to encounter.

Your turn will come.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol

The older one gets, the more life experience one is likely to encounter.

Your turn will come.

Hopefully my turn wont come lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol

Stress is personal and unique and nothing wrong with your earlier post about being stressed through exams.

I always agree with your posts they are very good. Just saying

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol

The older one gets, the more life experience one is likely to encounter.

Your turn will come.

Hopefully my turn wont come lol "

Sorry, however, death of loved ones is inevitable.

Sooner or later you'll have your own place.

You are unlikely to stay in the same job forever.

Etc. etc...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just when you don't and its rear you do .......You can think what the hells going on .. I was all ready to pay to see a person to sort my head out as was doing all sorts that was not like me. Some how chatting to my friend and family its helped . Was the lose of my dad who was really closes person in my life to me .... and my kids leaving home ... was Grief of losing them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had my share of problems and still have. The way I deal with it now is take each day as it comes. Life can only get better. I've made some very good friends on here and they have helped me tremendously.

Good luck and here if you want to chat

Xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"God after reading everyone's posts, feel a bit embarrassed of my earlier thread entry lol

Stress is personal and unique and nothing wrong with your earlier post about being stressed through exams.

I always agree with your posts they are very good. Just saying

"
Thank you - you know sometimes I dont agree with myself and that causes stress! I am not joking - I am talking about having to do something with which you deep down do not agree!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would need to be using my pc to type not my phone because the spans about 32 years.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Between 1983 and 1991 when we (my family) fought to get the truth about how and why our father was mortally wounded while he was serving overseas.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hris148Man
over a year ago

"I d say the most serious stress is the one where you have little or no support ina situation that is anxiety provoking for you in some shape or form, so for some it might be divorce and for others it might be exams etc.

I find a CBT like approach can help : Imagine worst kind of scenario and what the consequences would be - often they are not as bad as you might think.

Then try and think who could be a support for you and which friends might (possibly quite unintentionally)be a hinderance. Bring in those that could be helpful.

Identify one or two sensible good friends with whom you can bounce off ideas, describe the stress and see what they might suggest.

Do a spider diagramm where you write ona piece of paper what your options are - think outside the box, no matter how outrageous the thought might be. It brings things into focus.

Most people have the best answer already in their head, they just need to bounce it off another person. "

In case anyone was concerned, CBT in this context stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, NOT Cock n Ball Torture

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive been lucky i guess, only stress of late is my 2 kiddies having autism and going through all the problems that comes along with it.

my only advice is to swap stories, chat a lot, even if its with a total stranger, some times that works best of all. whilst youre listening to someone elses problems you forget about your own for a while...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

You need to change what you can to lower the stress, you need to do things you enjoy, you need to get out, meet people and make friends.

Easy to say, depression robs us of objectivity, makes us feel powerless, useless even.

I was married to an alcoholic suffering from bi-polar. Few other things going on too, know what it can be like.

You need to realise that you control your own destiny and the future will be better than the past. If drastic changes are required - make them.

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I've had to stand and watch my only son die as they unplugged his life support. He took his last breath in my husbands arms: the singular most heart breaking moment in my life. I survived it as I had two living girls who needed me to hold it together for them.

Nothing will EVER be allowed to make me feel that low again. My parents dying, the temporary loss of my sight, my divorce...all have amounted to little more than "oh well, shit happens".

I hope natural order resumes and I don't bury another child as I don't think I'd survive that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *smCouple
over a year ago

Liskeard

"ive just been thru 18 months of hell.

so was wondering whats the most stressful

time you have had .

ive done the usual stuff ie new job moving

house,death in the family and now got divorce to add to my list.

any tips on how to get thru it all

thats the thing about stress... its piled on and then when the worst is over,, the stress hits you.. sounds like you have come through the worst...

now you need to spend sometime doing stuff for you..

hugs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

finding my soulmate and then losing him to cancer - never want to go through that again

was actually coming to terms with his loss that was harder - i got through it by what he left me and what we had spoken about and then meeting another person ( i never thought i would feel that way about another again - how wrong was i)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread