FabSwingers.com forum: Sexless marriage

By *inky duo 100 OP Couple
12 weeks ago

Lancaster

My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Jblue321Man
12 weeks ago

Chester

"My husband has dropped the bombshell that because of the medication he's on he can no longer have sex, are there any other couples on here in the same situation and what did you do ? I can't go through life without sex I'm not ready for that yet . "

A few people I know joined this site to get that physical fix whilst still enjoying their marriage

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
12 weeks ago

Leeds

Join a swingers website.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
12 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I can't imagine telling everyone on here is going to make him feel any better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andadbodMan
12 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Join a swingers website."

this👍🏻

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Because of my mrs illness mant yearsxago our very mediocre sex came to a end, now 17 years now without female sex, irs something i never ever blame her for but is does sometimes gets frustrating.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

Have you told him how you feel about this?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky duo 100 OP Couple
12 weeks ago

Lancaster

"Join a swingers website."

We joined fab together as a couple .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
12 weeks ago

Leeds

"Join a swingers website.

We joined fab together as a couple ."

So surely he is happy with you still having sex with others?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agic.MMan
12 weeks ago

Orpington

"I can't imagine telling everyone on here is going to make him feel any better "

Yeah but it's not about him or his problems...clearly it's all about her

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hePleasurerMan
12 weeks ago

Cheshire

Since you've been on here as a couple for a year, he's obviously aware that you have access to alternative sources of sex - should you wish.

Time to have a conversation with him about what he's ok with you doing. And if that's not enough for you, time to think about what you're ok with doing behind his back.

It's complicated...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
12 weeks ago

Leeds

Talk to him discuss other opinions (you meeting alone if he's happy with that) maybe speak to the Dr and discuss other meds.

Communication is key.

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *Jblue321Man
12 weeks ago

Chester

"Talk to him discuss other opinions (you meeting alone if he's happy with that) maybe speak to the Dr and discuss other meds.

Communication is key.

Mrs "

This 100% hopefully after a talk you’ll have a clearer idea of next step

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
12 weeks ago

Swansea

From the brief OP I don't want to make assumptions but how does your husband feel about this change that affects him? Have you both spoken openly about it and discussed your feelings? Did you both discuss your potential next steps? Does he have access to the joint profile? How would he feel seeing this thread?

Mrs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I’ve not experienced sexless marriage, but I have experienced marriageless sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

East Sussex

The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
12 weeks ago

Swansea

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers. "

Brilliant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idlandiaMan
12 weeks ago

Birmingham

A good few years ago I had a 2 year agreement with a couple with a similar issue.

They had their marriage/relationship which was happy but when she wanted her itch scratched, she'd message me to go visit her. All amicable and worked well until they moved away for his work. I assume they found a new guy to fill in for the physical side of their marriage after they moved

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtystaffs60Couple
12 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I'm sure there is a compromise in there somewhere if you marriage is strong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allandy64Man
12 weeks ago

Sheffield

[Removed by poster at 06/11/24 10:08:48]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ornym66Man
12 weeks ago

Col /ips

Yea I was with a couple where he dropped of the sex scale, she was always up for it as the husband knew it worked well for years then I moved away bloody good sex tho

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I'd previously discussed this with my ex and what we'd do in that situation given we had a very healthy sex life and enjoyed 4 or 5 times a week for the 5 years w were together.

From my side I would have been happy to give her permission to play. Depending on the situation I may have wanted her to be discreet or might have wanted her to be open but I wouldn't want her to go without if I couldn't perform.

She, on the other hand, would want me to abstain as the thought of me being with another woman was too much for her.

Fortunately we didn't last as a couple long enough for that to become an issue.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscuit80Man
12 weeks ago

southampton

What medication is he on ?

Just asking ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ildTimes.Man
12 weeks ago

Colchester/London

I think you should go on a public forum and tell everyone, definitely do that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he topless tradieMan
12 weeks ago

hidden village

"Talk to him discuss other opinions (you meeting alone if he's happy with that) maybe speak to the Dr and discuss other meds.

Communication is key.

Mrs "

👆🏻 thats a great answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ragsterMan
12 weeks ago

Blackburn

"I think you should go on a public forum and tell everyone, definitely do that"

Lol

Very funny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

If you were both on here together then a) he'll be much more open-minded than most, b) he'll already understand how important sex is to you, and c) he's probably already reconciled the emotions of sharing you.

Speak to him and reassure him that there is no threat to your marriage and I'm sure if it comes from a position of love, you'll find a way that works for you both.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nnandElleCouple
12 weeks ago

Brackley

So tempted to set up a fake male account and post the same question, to see what the responses would be.

In any case, best of luck to both you and your husband OP, and hope a suitable situation can be found that benefits you both.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avid 50Man
12 weeks ago

kendal

morning you're not on your own at least you have got past the barrier of chatting about the problem my wife decided she no longer wanted sex and moved into another bedroom so I know where you're coming from you love the person but you also need to relieve your frustration love to chat more if you want

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *avid 50Man
12 weeks ago

kendal

is the medication permanent or Will he eventually come out the other side and fulfil his role

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *amantha_JadeWoman
12 weeks ago

Newcastle

"Talk to him discuss other opinions (you meeting alone if he's happy with that) maybe speak to the Dr and discuss other meds.

Communication is key.

Mrs "

Yep I agree with all of the above - talk to him

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Has he spoken to his GP?

If it's an ED issue there may be solutions, but if not then don't forget that sex isn't all about PIV. There are many, many ways to please someone without an election and it won't stop him from being involved with you or others.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Has he spoken to his GP?

An election? 😮

I meant erection, obvs. I blame Trump. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erfHerder74Man
12 weeks ago

Inverclyde

Sadly medication can cause disinterest in sex, but it’s no excuse not to give intimacy, love and sex in other ways.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
12 weeks ago

Coventry

As others have said communication is critical. It's a really tough and sensitive issue. Both of you need to be heard and understood and feel listened to and understood. So you both need to be completely honest and transparent where your at.

You husband issues may not fix (or at least anytime soon). He may not want to fix them, especially if the fix is particularly hard work or has side effects. Some people genuinely stop being sexual which is absolutely no reflection on you or the relationship due to the resaons behind the drop of libido.

A marriage is the sum of its parts. We known people in relationships who don't have sex with each other but do with others and are very happy and very much in love. For example one partner maybe asexual. You can outsource sex in a relationship and still have an awesome loving relationship. Obviously that depends on the mindset, understanding and consent of both people. Also it really is a testament to the security and care for each others needs in a relationship. Being swingers this may already be something you understand more and are closer to than in vanilla relationships. You can be relationship monogamous and sexually non-monogamous. So would outsourcing be something you would both be happy with? Obviously you'd discuss your boundaries on this and how it would play out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tephanie63Woman
12 weeks ago

BRIDGWATER

Is he not allowed to have sex because it would be harmful to him or is it that he will no longer be able to get an erection? My ex husband can no longer get an erection due to having had prostrate cancer, he has had terrible depression about it. Instead of being selfish OP and starting a thread like this, how about you take time to think of what this news has done to him.

My ex had to get counselling, he is lucky that he has a very understanding and lovely new partner supporting him.

It is devastating for men when this sort of thing happens. I hope your husband doesn't see this thread.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orksguy1965Man
12 weeks ago

Howden

Yes, it's the same for me, from my partner, I still have needs. we haven't had sex for over 4 years, due to her health issues. But she's told me to go have fun, but I will always stand by her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyeYCouple
12 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.

Brilliant

Yeah, but when has it been equal 🤷😜

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eff1961Man
12 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I got the same when I first got on diabetes meds but found lots of other ways to please her especially enjoyed watching her with other men

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oandstephCouple
12 weeks ago

Bradford

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers. "
dont forget putting up the pictures shelves and mirrors

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ragsterMan
12 weeks ago

Blackburn

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arnelianWoman
12 weeks ago

Ely/Cambridge - between the two

I think him going back to his doctor is the second thing that should happen.

The first, being an honest and open discussion about everything. Does he want to get back to having sex with you? Is there anything else going on for him that's not medical? Does he have any interest in foreplay with you? Using toys? Would he be happy for you to find someone to fill the gap? If so, would he want to be a cuck, join in with certain things or let you go alone?

Good luck with it all. I hope you get to a place where you're both happy and it all works for you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atnip make me purrWoman
12 weeks ago

Reading

I dont think it's reasonable to exoect one partner to forgo sex so an accommodation should be reached. Communication is key.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ML49Man
12 weeks ago

Burnley

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers. "

Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

East Sussex

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.

Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔"

It's an oblique reference to the different responses given to men and women who say they're in a sexless marriage. Men are usually told it's their fault and given the advice to stop complaining, masturbate, do more around the house and be more romantic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
12 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

What has your partner said op, I presume you've talked this through with them first.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eavenscentitCouple
12 weeks ago

barnstaple

[Removed by poster at 06/11/24 14:52:45]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungandMan
12 weeks ago

daveyhulme

Well today I’ve done the washing and ironing and bought flowers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
12 weeks ago

Stoke

Can't he watch while you enjoy yourself?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uga40Man
12 weeks ago

Hemel Hempstead

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eyeYCouple
12 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.

Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔

👍👍

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uga40Man
12 weeks ago

Hemel Hempstead

"The advice usually given to men is masturbate, do the washing up and buy flowers.

Explain this please 🤔🤔🤔

👍👍

"
i already do that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uvs2watchherCouple
12 weeks ago

newcastle

yes but its a very delicate conversation. hubby told me to go play, and he watches listens but hes only had me and one other girl i in his life. and hes happy!! i have a bf and he watches. everything isnt always "normal" im getting my best sex and hubby is happy listening xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uga40Man
12 weeks ago

Hemel Hempstead

"yes but its a very delicate conversation. hubby told me to go play, and he watches listens but hes only had me and one other girl i in his life. and hes happy!! i have a bf and he watches. everything isnt always "normal" im getting my best sex and hubby is happy listening xx"
your bf is a lucky guy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lbethereMan
9 weeks ago

Manchester

I have met and continue to meet couples on here similar. Usually the husband is very understanding and even join in some ways. I Don’t know your mans stance on this site or if he knows you’re are here but their are a food few in the same boat. The men know their women have needs he one I know here embrace that even getting involved so there is still that sexual connection. It is a win, win for both as a couple the female get what she needs and the male feels he is giving her what she needs, good luck xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *viatrixWoman
9 weeks ago

Redhill

It took years for us, but with lots of talking and marriage counselling, he finally accepted that I can’t go without sex.

So I do my own thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lbethereMan
9 weeks ago

Manchester

"Join a swingers website."

She has lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *moothshaftMan
9 weeks ago

Coventry

Many years ago my mrs started with Crohns disease. It has played havoc with her anus and pussy, and she didn't want to have sex anymore. We've had separate bedrooms for 15 years now. We still love each other very much and get on so well.

She knows I wank to porn most nights, and really miss the intimacy with her.

She doesn't know I'm here, and I do feel guilty, but I enjoy the sexual lift this gives me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

This is why i am here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enelope2UWoman
9 weeks ago

Fife

Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *effnwbiguyMan
9 weeks ago

bolton

My wife went throufh the change and totally lost interest in sex. So def a sexless marriage nowadays.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me.."

I hope you’re not a marriage councillor.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"This is why i am here"

To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?

It’s very niché.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
9 weeks ago

St Leonards

"This is why i am here

To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?

It’s very niché. "

No - he was the German philosopher

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"This is why i am here

To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?

It’s very niché.

No - he was the German philosopher

You’re thinking of Nietzsche, I’m not sure if he fucked other peoples wives but he was fond of a stroke.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
9 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"This is why i am here

To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?

It’s very niché.

No - he was the German philosopher

There's nothing he couldn't teach ya about the raising of the wrist.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
9 weeks ago

St Leonards

"This is why i am here

To have sex with women whose husbands are on medication and can no longer have sex with their wives?

It’s very niché.

No - he was the German philosopher

There's nothing he couldn't teach ya about the raising of the wrist."

Wasn't that Hitleré?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enelope2UWoman
9 weeks ago

Fife

"Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me..

I hope you’re not a marriage councillor. "

Per marriage counselling... There's Two in a marriage when one REFUSES to address the needs of the other it's over. You can't sugar cost it any other way unless a partner is in a coma or other unconsenting state they are capable of some form of intimacy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
9 weeks ago

"Divorced.. intimacy is essential sex isn't just pole to hole.. refusing to even attempt is a hard no and goodbye for me..

I hope you’re not a marriage councillor.

where did she say he’d refused?

She said because of medication he can no longer have sex.

She didn't say he’d refused any intimacy at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread