FabSwingers.com forum: Message

By *nit55 OP Couple
13 weeks ago

south tyneside

Hi why is it if take the time to write to someone, they don't reply back , even if it is just to say no thanks , it better than no reply . And why when you put what you are looking for you get the total opposite ???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

From the site rules page....

It's not rude not to reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *parkle1974Woman
13 weeks ago

Leeds

Do you reply to every email you recieve?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aizyWoman
13 weeks ago

west midlands

I wouldn't want a no thanks from msgs I send, I much prefer no reply, just delete them from sent and move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ffervescentMan
13 weeks ago

winfrith

"From the site rules page....

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"
The reality is it is rude but because the site say in the rules it's a not interested that's how its accepted ,women get many messages the hotter they are the more they get ,if they put a public pic up the more they get their aren't enough waking hours to answer them so its practical not to answer or to block if they looked at your profile and you weren't suitable ,which could be for the area you live in ,your sexual preference, your age ,whether you accommodate, they may not even see your profile, so hopefully now you understand a bit better why they can't always reply.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
13 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Sometimes I don't reply because I've recently posted something and the inbox is going a bit too mental to deal with more than deleting the obviously no good for me.

Sometimes I don't reply even if I have the time or means, because the message itself isn't worth replying to. Or the profile makes it clear we're utterly incompatible and replying would just be wasting both of our time even further.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
13 weeks ago

Mayfair

"...the hotter they are the more they get..."

Women's hotness has little bearing or relevance to how many messages they receive. Even lacklustre women (at best) or below-average women (at worst) are subject to an insurmountable InBox. It's a numbers game and it's physically impossible to reply to every adonis that graces their Inbox.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ora the explorerWoman
13 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Surely if they’ve read it and not replied that’s a no thanks??????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ommy2125Man
13 weeks ago

newport

Related to this, do messages just drop off inboxes then if read or unread and not deleted? Is there a limit? I assume so but just curious at what point the message disappears...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andPextraCouple
13 weeks ago

North West

I did used to reply to every message.

Created two issues

If we ever use a "no male" filter those who we have replied to can bypass it

However, the main issue is entitlement. A polite no thanks often doesn't land well, or they take it as an opportunity to try to have a conversation I don't want or need

Hence now 95% of the messages I get I don't even open and delete straight away (as you can read the whole message without opening it, "hey", "how's you ", "FAF" etc)

I message and reply those I'm interested in, not simply those who send me a message

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enk15Man
13 weeks ago

Evesham

"Hi why is it if take the time to write to someone, they don't reply back , even if it is just to say no thanks , it better than no reply . And why when you put what you are looking for you get the total opposite ??? "

Lets not forget these are unsolicited messages you are sending.

They haven't asked you to take time to message them.

Send your messages, move on, don't dwell and if a message comes back then happy days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
13 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Because whilst people are on here looking to interact with others, that doesn't mean they want to interact with everyone.

Message filters are useful but only limit volumes of incoming mail. They can't sift out those you'll never in a million years be interested in. Nor can they distinguish between a well crafted message and one that just says 'hi'.

Even if a message is well written, personal and shows they've obviously read your profile, it doesn't mean it's from someone potentially suitable.

Often people put way too much time and effort into a message and completely forgot to put the same into their profile.

The greatest message in Fab history could go unread and unresponded to if sent from a bland, characterless profile. 🤷‍♂️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago

I prefer a no thank you and try to do that myself, but I totally understand that woman and couples are getting probably hundreds of messages weekly compared to my 1 a month from a guy or fake profile so I can understand the fact that sometimes I won't get a "no thank you or not my type sorry". Just got to understand that circumstances and time restraints differ for each user.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enk15Man
13 weeks ago

Evesham

"Related to this, do messages just drop off inboxes then if read or unread and not deleted? Is there a limit? I assume so but just curious at what point the message disappears..."

I think unread messages disappear after 3 weeks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *neeyedwillieMan
13 weeks ago

Darlington

The North East in general aint great for a lot of people on Fab.

My wife and I do the clubs and socials and do just fine. Fab however....havnt had a meet through it in years now so we use it to keep.in touch with folks.

And I'd say it could.just be us but I hear the same thing over and over from.others...so do with that info what you will.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
13 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Lets not forget these are unsolicited messages you are sending.

They haven't asked you to take time to message them.

Send your messages, move on, don't dwell and if a message comes back then happy days."

How do you know that the messages the OP is sending are "unsolicited messages"...???

The OP's thread is about the lack of success in getting replies. It's not about sending messages. The messages that they are sending are more likely to be 'solicited'.

Unsolicited in this context means you're not looking to potentially meet whatsoever, or for anything sexual at all. And this could be because the profile clearly states - "I'm only here for the forums" or "to engage in the chat rooms" or "single men please don't message, we'll find you"

However If you have suggested or intimated on your profile you're looking to meet men, women and/or couples for sex, oral, anal, dogging etc, then surely there is a REASONABLE expectation that people with similar interests WILL message you and therefore it's not completely unsolicited. How you wish to reply to that message, if at all, is your prerogative. (Not replying is perfectly acceptable too, as stipulated in the FAQs)

In summary: we can give the benefit of the doubt that the OP's messages are indeed •solicited• .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oralltherightreasonsCouple
13 weeks ago

WELLINGBOROUGH

We've gotten to a point of just leave and not reply, so many people take a no thanks as then a reason to try engage further in conversation and it's just not worth it with the amount of other messages we get

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss.BellaWoman
13 weeks ago

Wales

I'm not sure if it's already been said (most likely) but there are a million threads on this very topic.

With loads of advice etc in the comments. Have a read through

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issmorganWoman
13 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Nobody has to reply to you op.

You're looking for the most desired people on fab, bi fems who are inundated by couples all after the same.

Some women just can't reply to all their mail.

Take no response as no thanks and you're time here will be much lest angsty.

If you mean men or couples message you, then use your filters and block the, saves you getting mail from those you're not looking for.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enk15Man
13 weeks ago

Evesham

"Lets not forget these are unsolicited messages you are sending.

They haven't asked you to take time to message them.

Send your messages, move on, don't dwell and if a message comes back then happy days.

How do you know that the messages the OP is sending are "unsolicited messages"...???

The OP's thread is about the lack of success in getting replies. It's not about sending messages. The messages that they are sending are more likely to be 'solicited'.

In summary: we can give the benefit of the doubt that the OP's messages are indeed •solicited• ."

Use whatever terminology you like.

For me, if you are sending a message to someone without prior contact or request, it's an unsolicited message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
13 weeks ago

Stoke

Probably just don't fancy you OP, it happens 🤷‍♂️

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
13 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Lets not forget these are unsolicited messages you are sending.

They haven't asked you to take time to message them.

Send your messages, move on, don't dwell and if a message comes back then happy days.

How do you know that the messages the OP is sending are "unsolicited messages"...???

The OP's thread is about the lack of success in getting replies. It's not about sending messages. The messages that they are sending are more likely to be 'solicited'.

In summary: we can give the benefit of the doubt that the OP's messages are indeed •solicited• .

Use whatever terminology you like.

For me, if you are sending a message to someone without prior contact or request, it's an unsolicited message."

•

How do you instigate prior contact? Smoke signals? Semaphore? ...?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ojo2joWoman
13 weeks ago

Penclawdd

"I did used to reply to every message.

Created two issues

If we ever use a "no male" filter those who we have replied to can bypass it

However, the main issue is entitlement. A polite no thanks often doesn't land well, or they take it as an opportunity to try to have a conversation I don't want or need

Hence now 95% of the messages I get I don't even open and delete straight away (as you can read the whole message without opening it, "hey", "how's you ", "FAF" etc)

I message and reply those I'm interested in, not simply those who send me a message "

I got a temporary block for alleged spamming because I replied to every message with ‘thanks but no thanks’

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eroLondonMan
13 weeks ago

Mayfair

"I did used to reply to every message.

Created two issues

If we ever use a "no male" filter those who we have replied to can bypass it

However, the main issue is entitlement. A polite no thanks often doesn't land well, or they take it as an opportunity to try to have a conversation I don't want or need

Hence now 95% of the messages I get I don't even open and delete straight away (as you can read the whole message without opening it, "hey", "how's you ", "FAF" etc)

I message and reply those I'm interested in, not simply those who send me a message

I got a temporary block for alleged spamming because I replied to every message with ‘thanks but no thanks’"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enk15Man
13 weeks ago

Evesham

"Lets not forget these are unsolicited messages you are sending.

They haven't asked you to take time to message them.

Send your messages, move on, don't dwell and if a message comes back then happy days.

How do you know that the messages the OP is sending are "unsolicited messages"...???

The OP's thread is about the lack of success in getting replies. It's not about sending messages. The messages that they are sending are more likely to be 'solicited'.

In summary: we can give the benefit of the doubt that the OP's messages are indeed •solicited• .

Use whatever terminology you like.

For me, if you are sending a message to someone without prior contact or request, it's an unsolicited message.

•

How do you instigate prior contact? Smoke signals? Semaphore? ...?"

You can try that. I’d probably go for forums or socials personally.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *T89Man
13 weeks ago

near

I'd rather a message back saying no thanks myself.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread