FabSwingers.com forum: Are you a people pleaser?

By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I read an interesting article about being a people pleaser, did you know that there are 10 signs that shows if you are one?

1. You pretend to agree with everyone.

2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.

3. You apologize often.

4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.

5. You can’t say no.

6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

7. You act like the people around you.

8. You need praise to feel good.

9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

10. You dont admit when your feelings are hurt.

It also mentioned how one could break free from being one if they are it and that is to slowly start to say no to small things, because then you get used to not always say yes and as a result you gain more confidence in your ability to be yourself.

That got me wondering, if you are one? I would say that I am little bit to others, but not to much of it

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
3 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

Based on the criteria you have mentioned Shag, I am the antithesis of a people pleaser

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By *ell GwynnWoman
3 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Once upon a time I was. Growing up afraid of your parents will do that. After my eldest was born I actively sought to change that and found a therapist who helped me define and implement boundaries with other people.

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By *andadbodMan
3 weeks ago

Liverpool

I’ll do anyone a favour if I can, built a rod for my own back though 🙄

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
3 weeks ago

St Leonards

I think it has to be a fairly categorical "no" here OP.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
3 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I used to be. Full manic pixie dream girl who only ever tried to make other people happy rather than myself.

It's been a real long road to get away from that 💜

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By *rHotNottsMan
3 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

0/10 , Although I did go to music festival once with some Scottish people and came back swearing a lot

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
3 weeks ago

Leeds

Unfortunately yes, I don't meet all the points but I'm trying to change that.

Mrs

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By *ake_or_deathMan
3 weeks ago

Manchester

Yeah I don't identify with all of those points but quite a few of them. It's caused me problems in the past trying to please people who fundamentally would never be satisfied whatever shape I twisted myself into to accommodate them and has just encouraged people to take me for granted.

Not that I'm at all bitter you understand

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By *ustBoWoman
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

1. You pretend to agree with everyone.

Nope I make up my own mind and won't agree just for the sake of it.

2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.

No I don't. Unless I have said or done something wrong and then I will apologise other than that no,how others feel is not my responsibility.

3. You apologize often.

I'll apologise if I am in the wrong. But not just for the sake of it .

4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.

At times yes but I think that is normal for most people.

5. You can’t say no.

I have learnt to say no in recent years.

6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

If they have a justifiable reason then yes I would. If they are just being a gobshite and making drama for the sake of drama then no.

7. You act like the people around you.

No I'm my own person ,if I don't agree with how people are acting I would say it or walk away.

8. You need praise to feel good.

Genuine praise is always nice to get. But I don't need it to feel good about myself.

9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

I will avoid conflicts ,but there are times when avoiding it can cause bigger issues in those situations I will speak up .I don't do drama for the sake of drama though.

10. You dont admit when your feelings are hurt.

Sometimes I will depending on the situation,if I feel like I'm just being too sensitive then I don't see the point of putting that on someone else .

I use to be more of a people pleaser when I was younger I wanted to be liked by people around me. But I realised as I got older that a lot of people will just use you and not care anyhow. I'm a lot more confident in me as a person so I don't feel the need to people please anymore and if possible I avoid those that I don't like and would prefer if they did the same. But I no longer will put up with sly comments or tactics from others.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Based on the criteria you have mentioned Shag, I am the antithesis of a people pleaser

"
That is good

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By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 04/11/24 08:14:11]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"Once upon a time I was. Growing up afraid of your parents will do that. After my eldest was born I actively sought to change that and found a therapist who helped me define and implement boundaries with other people."
Hi nell. I see, that is good you actively sought to change that too

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
3 weeks ago

Leeds

Yeah people love me because I suck arse, I really get a kick off being taken advantage of.

The mr

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
3 weeks ago

chichester

I’ll be a people pleaser if it serves my needs at the time .

Peoples minds are merely akin to clay and easily shaped by the right sculpting

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By *parkle1974Woman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

I used to be but after recent events made me question everything, I am no longer.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

Probably a bit by those criteria. I think you need to have an element if people pleasing to her by smoothly in society. You can't work with other people if you don't behave like them to an extent in so far as you all need to follow certain rules and avoid conflict as far as possible.

I feel uncomfortable if the people I respect are angry with me. I can't imagine why anyone would be indifferent to that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

Also nowadays if you say your feelings have been hurt people call you over sensitive or a 'snowflake'. Phrases like 'offence is taken, not given' are thrown around like flaming confetti to excuse those who claim not to be people pleasers.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
3 weeks ago

East Sussex

And sometimes you ARE responsible for how other people feel.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
3 weeks ago

Southampton

I ticked 6 of those things so yes I suppose I am a people pleaser

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By *enk15Man
3 weeks ago

Evesham

Based on that, I am 40% a people pleaser

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By *ansoffateMan
3 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I can be. I can also be an s-tier bitch.

It's situational really.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
3 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Ticked one of those things so I guess I’m not. I kinda knew that anyway though

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By *uriousscouserWoman
3 weeks ago

Wirral

I don't like conflict and I do like praise, but I'd rather keep my expressions of feelings and opinions honest even if that means I get into conflict than mask who I am and how I feel in search of false praise.

I will meet people where they are when it's stuff that isn't particularly important to me. I guess that means I am a people-pleaser to some extent.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
3 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Total opposite

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By *iddlesticksMan
3 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.

It seems I absolutely am one.

It’s amazing I get through the day.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I try not to upset folk

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By *mf123Man
3 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Nope im an orrible cunt

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By *aizyWoman
3 weeks ago

west midlands

I am definitely number 10, I have tried to change it but I still struggle with telling people how I feel.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan
3 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I am definitely number 10, I have tried to change it but I still struggle with telling people how I feel."

I'm definitely a lot of these tbf,

Definitely 3 and 10

Sorry is my middle name..

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By *iscotti32Woman
3 weeks ago

gateshead

I’m definitely not one 😂

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
3 weeks ago

Reading

Im a people pleaser. Though I have one lover who likes to please me with nothing in return and it's rather lovely.

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By *uscious_Lady1Woman
3 weeks ago

Norwich

I am but wish I wasn’t so I’m making steps to change this! It benefits me negatively being one so I now am all but one or 2 of the criteria

hopefully in a few months I’ll be even less of a people pleaser

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By *vaRose43Woman
3 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

I don’t tick every box but yes, I am. I try not to be as much but i definitely fit the criteria

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
3 weeks ago

London

So you're a people pleaser? Name 5 people who are pleased with you

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By *uffnmuffCouple
3 weeks ago

London

Yes when it comes to my family but I knew this anyway x

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By *IXEN200Woman
3 weeks ago

newcastle upon tyne

I've been described as a yes girl, so that must make me a people pleaser. Time to change it I think.

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By *cotlad178Man
3 weeks ago

falkirk

"I read an interesting article about being a people pleaser, did you know that there are 10 signs that shows if you are one?

1. You pretend to agree with everyone.

2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.

3. You apologize often.

4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.

5. You can’t say no.

6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

7. You act like the people around you.

8. You need praise to feel good.

9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

10. You dont admit when your feelings are hurt.

That got me wondering, if you are one? I would say that I am little bit to others, but not to much of it

"
think I am by this list

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

I think the recent happenings in the world proved that pretty much everyone is. They won't admit though... Because there is nothing to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

"So you're a people pleaser? Name 5 people who are pleased with you"

My wife, my 3 kids, my mum.

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By *oxychicWoman
3 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

No im definitely not a ppl pleaser x

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By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"1. You pretend to agree with everyone.

Nope I make up my own mind and won't agree just for the sake of it.

2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.

No I don't. Unless I have said or done something wrong and then I will apologise other than that no,how others feel is not my responsibility.

3. You apologize often.

I'll apologise if I am in the wrong. But not just for the sake of it .

4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.

At times yes but I think that is normal for most people.

5. You can’t say no.

I have learnt to say no in recent years.

6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

If they have a justifiable reason then yes I would. If they are just being a gobshite and making drama for the sake of drama then no.

7. You act like the people around you.

No I'm my own person ,if I don't agree with how people are acting I would say it or walk away.

8. You need praise to feel good.

Genuine praise is always nice to get. But I don't need it to feel good about myself.

9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

I will avoid conflicts ,but there are times when avoiding it can cause bigger issues in those situations I will speak up .I don't do drama for the sake of drama though.

10. You dont admit when your feelings are hurt.

Sometimes I will depending on the situation,if I feel like I'm just being too sensitive then I don't see the point of putting that on someone else .

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By *porty_and_NaughtyCouple
3 weeks ago

Swansea

"1. You pretend to agree with everyone.

Nope I make up my own mind and won't agree just for the sake of it.

2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.

No I don't. Unless I have said or done something wrong and then I will apologise other than that no,how others feel is not my responsibility.

3. You apologize often.

I'll apologise if I am in the wrong. But not just for the sake of it .

4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.

At times yes but I think that is normal for most people.

5. You can’t say no.

I have learnt to say no in recent years.

6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

If they have a justifiable reason then yes I would. If they are just being a gobshite and making drama for the sake of drama then no.

7. You act like the people around you.

No I'm my own person ,if I don't agree with how people are acting I would say it or walk away.

8. You need praise to feel good.

Genuine praise is always nice to get. But I don't need it to feel good about myself.

9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

I will avoid conflicts ,but there are times when avoiding it can cause bigger issues in those situations I will speak up .I don't do drama for the sake of drama though.

10. You dont admit when your feelings are hurt.

Sometimes I will depending on the situation,if I feel like I'm just being too sensitive then I don't see the point of putting that on someone else .

Summed it up pretty well for me there Boo.

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By *aybeLadyWoman
3 weeks ago

West Dublin

Yes & its a curse!!! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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By *uicy 2020Woman
3 weeks ago

London

Yes, i totally am a people pleaser and at times its very much to my detriment. But Im aware of this and am working on it

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
3 weeks ago

Stoke

[Removed by poster at 04/11/24 19:28:14]

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
3 weeks ago

Stoke

Couldn't give a toss what people think of me, so I'm definitely the total opposite of a people pleaser.

Mr F.

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By *idssissyTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Birmingham

Most of my early life was as a people pleaser and maybe even my career choice was to please others.

Trying to change it but also honestly admit at the moment pleasing others is keeping me alive.

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By *carlettsWoman
3 weeks ago

Harps

In work and personal life 100%

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By *929Man
3 weeks ago

newcastle

Can be with mates and customers trying to stop or at least reduce it, I’ve done countless unpaid jobs for my useless mates and never ask fuck all in return not saying they wouldn’t do same for me at least I hope they would but wouldn’t ever ask

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By *ony MannMan
3 weeks ago

New York City New York USA

Based on that no, but I'm devoted to pleasing my partners.

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By *zChiefWoman
3 weeks ago

middle of somewhere

I think perhaps i am based on that post op.

Infact after a conversation on here last night where i should have pressed the block button so much earlier i have decided i definately am a people pleaser !

Not proud of myself

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By *agnar73Man
3 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I read an interesting article about being a people pleaser, did you know that there are 10 signs that shows if you are one?

1. You pretend to agree with everyone.

2. You feel responsible for how other people feel.

3. You apologize often.

4. You feel burdened by the things you have to do.

5. You can’t say no.

6. You feel uncomfortable if someone is angry at you.

7. You act like the people around you.

8. You need praise to feel good.

9. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

10. You dont admit when your feelings are hurt.

That got me wondering, if you are one? I would say that I am little bit to others, but not to much of it

Interesting. I’d have said I was a people pleaser but I don’t do those things. Hmm. Maybe I’m not .

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By *andynecklaceWoman
3 weeks ago

West Brom

Nah

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By *hrista BellendWoman
3 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Nope

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By *hagTonight OP Man
3 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I think perhaps i am based on that post op.

Infact after a conversation on here last night where i should have pressed the block button so much earlier i have decided i definately am a people pleaser !

Not proud of myself

"
Hi _zchief, yes, one can be a people pleaser too

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