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"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else... If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"... Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve. Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics ![]() ![]() How can you be bottom of the league table if, errrrr, there's no league? | |||
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"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else... If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"... Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve. Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics ![]() ![]() You're right, There's no league or league table for that matter if you're attracted to someone whatever their look of body type then that's what matters, some people have a type and some don't have any type, 😊 | |||
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"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else... If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"... Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve. Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics ![]() ![]() Because I'm being ironic...der | |||
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"Ugh. I hate leagues. If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off."" This! There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take | |||
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"Ugh. I hate leagues. If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off." This! There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take " Absolutely | |||
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"I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do? Insult you? Block you? Delete your message? Leave it on read? So what? Move on to the next potential victim ![]() Vi. Victim? What have you signed me up for bella? ![]() | |||
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"I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do? Insult you? Block you? Delete your message? Leave it on read? So what? Move on to the next potential victim ![]() ![]() Did you not read the small print? Oops ![]() | |||
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" There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take " And 99.9999999 of the ones you do take. | |||
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" There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take And 99.9999999 of the ones you do take." That’s true, but it’s that tiny percentage that you click with that make it worthwhile | |||
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"I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do? Insult you? Block you? Delete your message? Leave it on read? So what? Move on to the next potential victim ![]() ![]() ![]() Shit. ![]() ![]() | |||
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" There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take And 99.9999999 of the ones you do take. That’s true, but it’s that tiny percentage that you click with that make it worthwhile " Still waiting for that miracle. | |||
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"Ugh. I hate leagues. If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off."" I totally agree with this but equally I'm also the person who looks at some and thinks they are out of my league | |||
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"I disagree. It's definitely a me problem with self confidence but I look at some of the guys with their ripped abs and look at some of the profiles that want men over 6ft or rugby types and I think I'm none of those things so I'm not even in the game. Then I look at some women on here looking stunning and think that I have nothing to offer that person that she can't get elsewhere so why even bother. Then when they have things like " I will message you if you are what I'm looking for" on their profile then I know I'm not for them when I don't get a message. " You're pic dated 26/08 on its own is worth a response from some leagueless woman 🙂 | |||
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"They exist in many people's mind. It's like the rating yourself with a number wtf? I always say 10 but the whole idea is indicative (to me) of self obsession, comparison with others and judging people's worth on looks. Then I read a thread where people claim it's personality they're interested in. 🤦🤷♀️" Most people here judge worth on looks. As most people here are not looking for serious connections, their pick is based on a physical desire not on compatible personalities. | |||
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"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else. " ![]() | |||
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"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else. " ‘Use your words’ It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance | |||
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"You're pic dated 26/08 on its own is worth a response from some leagueless woman 🙂" That was my profile picture but in the forum when we were playing stick or twist with the profile pics that one came up as twist, so i changed it | |||
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"I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised. I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot. " No shame in crashing and burning with a hottie, sometimes it works out | |||
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"I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised. I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot. " My issue is I don't have a list of unrealistic expectations. | |||
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"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else. ‘Use your words’ It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance " It’s cute but over simplistic. | |||
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"You're pic dated 26/08 on its own is worth a response from some leagueless woman 🙂 That was my profile picture but in the forum when we were playing stick or twist with the profile pics that one came up as twist, so i changed it " Change it back 🙂 | |||
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"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else... If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"... Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve. Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics ![]() ![]() Theirs always a hierarchy. | |||
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"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else. ‘Use your words’ It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance It’s cute but over simplistic. " Complicate it. | |||
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"I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised. I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot. " I've no doubt that's true for you as a single woman, Biscotti, but for a single man it's very very different. | |||
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"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else. ‘Use your words’ It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance It’s cute but over simplistic. Complicate it." IRL. You approach a woman you like. You might get shot down. But it might be successful. I approach a guy I like. I might just end up in hospital. Fab. ‘Straight’ men approach gay, bi, tv etc. ok. Other way around. Queue the whining post why are all the fags messaging he can’t they see I’m as straight as a ruler? Wtf. Etc. | |||
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"They exist in many people's mind. It's like the rating yourself with a number wtf? I always say 10 but the whole idea is indicative (to me) of self obsession, comparison with others and judging people's worth on looks. Then I read a thread where people claim it's personality they're interested in. 🤦🤷♀️ Most people here judge worth on looks. As most people here are not looking for serious connections, their pick is based on a physical desire not on compatible personalities." Yes, I know. There wouldn't be fabs and hot pics or rate my this that and the other if personality trumped looks on a site where most people are looking to have sex with each other. | |||
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"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else... If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"... Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve. Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics ![]() ![]() Of course there are “leagues” - not actual maintained and published leagues but we all know when we’re punching above our weight. | |||
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"It's just a phrase people use in a culture that doesn't promote the self-awareness and the emotional expressiveness to say something a bit more open. Categorising can help some people alleviate the anxiety of navigating such a world. " I think it helps to be realistic without being self deprecating. | |||
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"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x" Generally I just put you in my hotlist. | |||
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"There are no leagues. We're all attractive to different people. Shoot your shot and all that. It's also true that some people are attractive to larger numbers of people than others. I don't think it's necessarily a lack of confidence to be objective about your appearance - if I can see I am not someone's type, I won't assume I am an exception through the force of my personality. " Wise words from YOLO here (as always!). My thoughts - There is no such thing as leagues and never has been, but it is now such an ingrained element of our societal culture it will always be a thing. Which is sad. As a very average almost 50 year old with a better personality than looks, I regularly look at people and think “She’ll never be interested in me”, but I still go for it. On occasion I’ve been surprised. If I look at a 30 year old woman who has a lot of characteristics I don’t have which are typically seen as desirable, say she looks like fashion model, then my immediate thought is “I’m out of her league.” I’m not, of course, it’s just that she probably seeks similar qualities in partners and therefore probably isn’t interested in me. That’s all that’s happened, she just has preferences that don’t include me. It might be nothing to do with looks or personality. It could be hobbies, sexual preferences, distance, age and a dozen other things. That’s not leagues, it’s personal preference. And I’d say most of us can’t make that conscious choice - we like who we like. It’s not personal about us, we just don’t match. Blimey, I’ve just re-read that and what a rambly load of old ramble. My head is a mess. Leagues - it’s a thing but shouldn’t be a thing. | |||
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"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x" Exactly…you regret in life the things you don’t do so if you see someone who takes your fancy, give it a go. | |||
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"Most people just want to be seen. We gain an amount of self worth from the acceptance of others. As dating and hook up sites benefit from loneliness and engagement and people can now get rejected multiple times a day. Is it any wonder why we are losing social cohesion. This is unique in the human experience and we don't yet know what the effects will be on our collective minds. " This ^ ![]() | |||
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"I disagree. But I suppose that's from personal experience. It depends on your milieu and, living in London where I have made zero intimate* connections on Fab , it's clear the shallowness prevails when it comes to aesthetics over anything else of substance. The leagues are created by the very outlandish things people write in their profiles matched by what you see in their verifications, leaving you thinking "well, I have non of those visible qualities". Perhaps "league" isn't the right word. You may as well call it "rhubarb"; it still applies regardless. [*all my intimate experiences have been with women 100s of miles from my locale]" You mean phrases such as 'exceptional'? I generally avoid any contact at all with them ![]() | |||
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"I disagree. But I suppose that's from personal experience. It depends on your milieu and, living in London where I have made zero intimate* connections on Fab , it's clear the shallowness prevails when it comes to aesthetics over anything else of substance. The leagues are created by the very outlandish things people write in their profiles matched by what you see in their verifications, leaving you thinking "well, I have non of those visible qualities". Perhaps "league" isn't the right word. You may as well call it "rhubarb"; it still applies regardless. [*all my intimate experiences have been with women 100s of miles from my locale]" · ...and adding to that what JoeBeans has mentioned "common patterns" (thank you Joe). I may not be out of their league but I fall short of those insurmountable "common patterns"...which basically infers that I'm out of their league. | |||
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"Ugh. I hate leagues. If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off." This! There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take " I shot my shot. I tend to hit my feet though | |||
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"Ugh. I hate leagues. If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off." This! There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take I shot my shot. I tend to hit my feet though " I tend to go over my head. ![]() | |||
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"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x" Yeah, so you can reject whoever shoots | |||
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"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x Yeah, so you can reject whoever shoots " Ofcourse but then not everyone is going to be everyone's cup of tea which is fine....the rejection certainly wouldn't be because I thought they were out of any league. | |||
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"I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first. I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall" This is pretty inspiring! FAF? ![]() ![]() | |||
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"I recently was chatting to someone. I sent a face pic, and as I have grey hair (what's left), she told me I looked like her dad (she was 1 year older), and instantly stopped chatting. Now, I chalk that up and move on, but you can't help but take a knock from that, and you start questioning your viability on here. Is that 'leaguing' yourself? Not sure, but it is why I prefer clubs and socials. Expressing yourself in the real world will always be easier than in a few words and photos on here ![]() No dude, I don’t think this is leaguing yourself and messages like that shouldn’t make you question your viability on this site. She may not have expressed it very sensitively but, either way, she has a preference for guys without grey hair. You’ll know as well as anyone on here how many threads we have celebrating silver foxes. You’re not out of her league, you just don’t meet her preferences ![]() | |||
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"I absolutely believe there are leagues. Just personal opinion but every time I venture out of my league, I pay the price later. Fab for me truly taught me to know my place, and it’s nothing to do with confidence." This xx | |||
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"I absolutely believe there are leagues. Just personal opinion but every time I venture out of my league, I pay the price later. Fab for me truly taught me to know my place, and it’s nothing to do with confidence." Dee you're in a league of your own x | |||
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"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else. ‘Use your words’ It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance It’s cute but over simplistic. Complicate it. IRL. You approach a woman you like. You might get shot down. But it might be successful. I approach a guy I like. I might just end up in hospital. Fab. ‘Straight’ men approach gay, bi, tv etc. ok. Other way around. Queue the whining post why are all the fags messaging he can’t they see I’m as straight as a ruler? Wtf. Etc. " Fair shout. I guess I was talking in my terms rather than general | |||
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"I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first. I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall This is pretty inspiring! FAF? ![]() ![]() Sweet talker 🤭 | |||
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"I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first. I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall This is pretty inspiring! FAF? ![]() ![]() You said go for it and I shot my shot, so do... I mean sue me 😆 | |||
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