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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP   Woman
14 weeks ago

In the clouds

Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else...

If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"...

Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve.

Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics

Have a nice day!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
14 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Ugh. I hate leagues.

If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off."

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
14 weeks ago

St Leonards


"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else...

If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"...

Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve.

Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics

Have a nice day! "

How can you be bottom of the league table if, errrrr, there's no league?

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By *ildTimes.Man
14 weeks ago

Colchester/London


"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else...

If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"...

Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve.

Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics

Have a nice day! "

You're right, There's no league or league table for that matter if you're attracted to someone whatever their look of body type then that's what matters, some people have a type and some don't have any type, 😊

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP   Woman
14 weeks ago

In the clouds


"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else...

If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"...

Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve.

Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics

Have a nice day!

How can you be bottom of the league table if, errrrr, there's no league?"

Because I'm being ironic...der

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By *vaRose43Woman
14 weeks ago

Forest of Dean


"Ugh. I hate leagues.

If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off.""

This!

There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
14 weeks ago

The Continental

Leagues?

Fuck that.

If I fancy someone, I’m asking ‘em.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP   Woman
14 weeks ago

In the clouds


"Ugh. I hate leagues.

If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off."

This!

There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take "

Absolutely

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By *neakypeaky30Man
14 weeks ago

Midlands

Leagues? Sometimes we aren't even playing the same sport!

It's a bit of a cop out really though isn't it? Justifying not trying to chat to someone or something for fear of rejection?

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By *iss.BellaWoman
14 weeks ago

Wales

I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do?

Insult you?

Block you?

Delete your message?

Leave it on read?

So what? Move on to the next potential victim

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By *eliWoman
14 weeks ago

.

Because it's a reflection of low self esteem or a poorly thought out compliment.

I don't believe in leagues, they're utter tosh. Sometimes I think someone wouldn't be interested in me but it's not because I prescribe to that daft notion, more... I just don't think they would be. Maybe that's how they feel but word it poorly.

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By *ir tootMan
14 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do?

Insult you?

Block you?

Delete your message?

Leave it on read?

So what? Move on to the next potential victim "

Vi. Victim?

What have you signed me up for bella?

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By *iss.BellaWoman
14 weeks ago

Wales


"I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do?

Insult you?

Block you?

Delete your message?

Leave it on read?

So what? Move on to the next potential victim

Vi. Victim?

What have you signed me up for bella? "

Did you not read the small print? Oops

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough


" There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take "

And 99.9999999 of the ones you do take.

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By *vaRose43Woman
14 weeks ago

Forest of Dean


" There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take

And 99.9999999 of the ones you do take."

That’s true, but it’s that tiny percentage that you click with that make it worthwhile

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By *ir tootMan
14 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"I do think ooh theres no way they'll be interested in me. But I send the message anyway. What's the worst they can do?

Insult you?

Block you?

Delete your message?

Leave it on read?

So what? Move on to the next potential victim

Vi. Victim?

What have you signed me up for bella?

Did you not read the small print? Oops "

Shit.

I'm prepared it's ok, I bought snacks. .

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

I disagree. It's definitely a me problem with self confidence but I look at some of the guys with their ripped abs and look at some of the profiles that want men over 6ft or rugby types and I think I'm none of those things so I'm not even in the game.

Then I look at some women on here looking stunning and think that I have nothing to offer that person that she can't get elsewhere so why even bother. Then when they have things like " I will message you if you are what I'm looking for" on their profile then I know I'm not for them when I don't get a message.

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough


" There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take

And 99.9999999 of the ones you do take.

That’s true, but it’s that tiny percentage that you click with that make it worthwhile "

Still waiting for that miracle.

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By *sWyldWoman
14 weeks ago

Edinburgh


"Ugh. I hate leagues.

If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off.""

I totally agree with this but equally I'm also the person who looks at some and thinks they are out of my league

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

14 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I just looked in the mirror.

If there are in fact leagues then I'm most definitely in that league that's 20,000 leagues under the sea this morning.......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

14 weeks ago

East Sussex

They exist in many people's mind. It's like the rating yourself with a number wtf? I always say 10 but the whole idea is indicative (to me) of self obsession, comparison with others and judging people's worth on looks.

Then I read a thread where people claim it's personality they're interested in. 🤦🤷‍♀️

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By *allipygousMan
14 weeks ago

Leicester


"I disagree. It's definitely a me problem with self confidence but I look at some of the guys with their ripped abs and look at some of the profiles that want men over 6ft or rugby types and I think I'm none of those things so I'm not even in the game.

Then I look at some women on here looking stunning and think that I have nothing to offer that person that she can't get elsewhere so why even bother. Then when they have things like " I will message you if you are what I'm looking for" on their profile then I know I'm not for them when I don't get a message. "

You're pic dated 26/08 on its own is worth a response from some leagueless woman 🙂

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By *ags73Man
14 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I use the phrase but don’t believe in it.

I might think gorgeous and no chance but if you don’t say hello, you’ll never know

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough


"They exist in many people's mind. It's like the rating yourself with a number wtf? I always say 10 but the whole idea is indicative (to me) of self obsession, comparison with others and judging people's worth on looks.

Then I read a thread where people claim it's personality they're interested in. 🤦🤷‍♀️"

Most people here judge worth on looks. As most people here are not looking for serious connections, their pick is based on a physical desire not on compatible personalities.

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By *allipygousMan
14 weeks ago

Leicester


"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

"

👏🏾

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By *ags73Man
14 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

"

‘Use your words’

It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance

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By *iscotti32Woman
14 weeks ago

choomah island

I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised.

I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago


"You're pic dated 26/08 on its own is worth a response from some leagueless woman 🙂"

That was my profile picture but in the forum when we were playing stick or twist with the profile pics that one came up as twist, so i changed it

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By *ags73Man
14 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised.

I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot. "

No shame in crashing and burning with a hottie, sometimes it works out

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By *uperSalopian7Man
14 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

They call me Nemo because I'm 20,000 leagues under the sea

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough


"I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised.

I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot. "

My issue is I don't have a list of unrealistic expectations.

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
14 weeks ago

Ipswich

Strictly

Non league

Apparently

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By *ife NinjaMan
14 weeks ago

Dunfermline

I'm northern conference, second division

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

‘Use your words’

It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance "

It’s cute but over simplistic.

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By *allipygousMan
14 weeks ago

Leicester


"You're pic dated 26/08 on its own is worth a response from some leagueless woman 🙂

That was my profile picture but in the forum when we were playing stick or twist with the profile pics that one came up as twist, so i changed it "

Change it back 🙂

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By *ffervescentMan
14 weeks ago

winfrith


"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else...

If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"...

Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve.

Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics

Have a nice day! "

Theirs always a hierarchy.

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By *ags73Man
14 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

‘Use your words’

It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance

It’s cute but over simplistic. "

Complicate it.

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By *allipygousMan
14 weeks ago

Leicester


"I sometimes think I’m not conventionally physically attractive enough for some people. But I just shoot my shot anyway and 9 times out of 10 I’m pleasantly surprised.

I’ve learned from here that ‘leagues’ are not a thing and lots of people find lots of different things hot. "

I've no doubt that's true for you as a single woman, Biscotti, but for a single man it's very very different.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

‘Use your words’

It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance

It’s cute but over simplistic.

Complicate it."

IRL. You approach a woman you like. You might get shot down. But it might be successful. I approach a guy I like. I might just end up in hospital.

Fab. ‘Straight’ men approach gay, bi, tv etc. ok. Other way around. Queue the whining post why are all the fags messaging he can’t they see I’m as straight as a ruler? Wtf.

Etc.

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By *ou only live onceMan
14 weeks ago

London

There are no leagues. We're all attractive to different people. Shoot your shot and all that.

It's also true that some people are attractive to larger numbers of people than others. I don't think it's necessarily a lack of confidence to be objective about your appearance - if I can see I am not someone's type, I won't assume I am an exception through the force of my personality.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
14 weeks ago

walsall

Leagues may not exist but there is definitely some sort of pecking order. There are men and women who are offended when approached by people who don’t meet their expectations.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

14 weeks ago

East Sussex


"They exist in many people's mind. It's like the rating yourself with a number wtf? I always say 10 but the whole idea is indicative (to me) of self obsession, comparison with others and judging people's worth on looks.

Then I read a thread where people claim it's personality they're interested in. 🤦🤷‍♀️

Most people here judge worth on looks. As most people here are not looking for serious connections, their pick is based on a physical desire not on compatible personalities."

Yes, I know.

There wouldn't be fabs and hot pics or rate my this that and the other if personality trumped looks on a site where most people are looking to have sex with each other.

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By *ansoffateMan
14 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

It's just a phrase people use in a culture that doesn't promote the self-awareness and the emotional expressiveness to say something a bit more open.

Categorising can help some people alleviate the anxiety of navigating such a world.

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By *ark742024Man
14 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Why do people say "you're out of my league?".. surely there's no league... you're just attracted to who you're attracted to. Nobody is better than anyone else...

If someone thinks they're better than you, then that's a "them problem"...

Go for what you want, not what you think you deserve.

Also, I'm the bottom of any league table, don't be fooled by my clever selfie angled pics

Have a nice day! "

Of course there are “leagues” - not actual maintained and published leagues but we all know when we’re punching above our weight.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
14 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I always assume guys wouldn't be interested in me anyway. Nothing to do with leagues and everything to do with my own attributes and mindset. I'm not very good at putting myself out there as it were.

I stay humble.

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By *hrek101Man
14 weeks ago

Herts

Call it what you like leagues, hierarchy, preference..there is a list of things I either don't possess or can be easily be found in greater quantities in others. Either way it puts me low on most peoples lists. No self pity, I'm ok with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

It's a throw away compliment men give to try and impress you.

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough

Hot people will deny it but many a social study have concluded that attractive people are treated better than others.

The disproportion of men and women wouldn't help here either.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP   Woman
14 weeks ago

In the clouds

Bless them

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

14 weeks ago

East Sussex


"It's just a phrase people use in a culture that doesn't promote the self-awareness and the emotional expressiveness to say something a bit more open.

Categorising can help some people alleviate the anxiety of navigating such a world.

"

I think it helps to be realistic without being self deprecating.

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By *parkle1974Woman
14 weeks ago

Leeds

Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x

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By *ushwacker75Man
14 weeks ago

Measham

I'm top of my own league every time I am what I am sorry if you do like the look sound or what most people make there leagues on the shape of me get your own league or if you like all of the above let's play we are all top in my league

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough

Most people just want to be seen. We gain an amount of self worth from the acceptance of others. As dating and hook up sites benefit from loneliness and engagement and people can now get rejected multiple times a day. Is it any wonder why we are losing social cohesion. This is unique in the human experience and we don't yet know what the effects will be on our collective minds.

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By *rowley616Man
14 weeks ago

Scarborough


"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x"

Generally I just put you in my hotlist.

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By *elix SightedMan
14 weeks ago

Cloud 8


"There are no leagues. We're all attractive to different people. Shoot your shot and all that.

It's also true that some people are attractive to larger numbers of people than others. I don't think it's necessarily a lack of confidence to be objective about your appearance - if I can see I am not someone's type, I won't assume I am an exception through the force of my personality.

"

Wise words from YOLO here (as always!).

My thoughts - There is no such thing as leagues and never has been, but it is now such an ingrained element of our societal culture it will always be a thing. Which is sad.

As a very average almost 50 year old with a better personality than looks, I regularly look at people and think “She’ll never be interested in me”, but I still go for it. On occasion I’ve been surprised.

If I look at a 30 year old woman who has a lot of characteristics I don’t have which are typically seen as desirable, say she looks like fashion model, then my immediate thought is “I’m out of her league.” I’m not, of course, it’s just that she probably seeks similar qualities in partners and therefore probably isn’t interested in me. That’s all that’s happened, she just has preferences that don’t include me.

It might be nothing to do with looks or personality. It could be hobbies, sexual preferences, distance, age and a dozen other things. That’s not leagues, it’s personal preference. And I’d say most of us can’t make that conscious choice - we like who we like. It’s not personal about us, we just don’t match.

Blimey, I’ve just re-read that and what a rambly load of old ramble. My head is a mess. Leagues - it’s a thing but shouldn’t be a thing.

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By *onjoliveMan
14 weeks ago

bournemouth


"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x"

Exactly…you regret in life the things you don’t do so if you see someone who takes your fancy, give it a go.

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
14 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I hate this.

If you get on with someone and you have a good vibe together then what's the problem? Neither one is too good for the other.

Is it a confidence problem? Lack of self esteem?

I've heard this from guys a few times where we've been out socially but he then won't commit to anything more because apparently I'm out of his league and he doesn't understand why I'd want to spend time with him. Well, duh, probably for the same reason he claims to want to hang out with me...

I just don't get it, but it's a huge turn off as soon as I hear it, and it almost certainly kills the chance of anything further happening in the future.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago


"Most people just want to be seen. We gain an amount of self worth from the acceptance of others. As dating and hook up sites benefit from loneliness and engagement and people can now get rejected multiple times a day. Is it any wonder why we are losing social cohesion. This is unique in the human experience and we don't yet know what the effects will be on our collective minds. "

This ^

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By *iker JackMan
14 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

The only person I need to like is me.

If anyone mentions any form of a league then they are not and never will be the person or people for me

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By *eroLondonMan
14 weeks ago

Mayfair

I disagree. But I suppose that's from personal experience.

It depends on your milieu and, living in London where I have made zero intimate* connections on Fab , it's clear the shallowness prevails when it comes to aesthetics over anything else of substance. The leagues are created by the very outlandish things people write in their profiles matched by what you see in their verifications, leaving you thinking "well, I have non of those visible qualities".

Perhaps "league" isn't the right word. You may as well call it "rhubarb"; it still applies regardless.

[*all my intimate experiences have been with women 100s of miles from my locale]

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By *ife NinjaMan
14 weeks ago

Dunfermline


"I disagree. But I suppose that's from personal experience.

It depends on your milieu and, living in London where I have made zero intimate* connections on Fab , it's clear the shallowness prevails when it comes to aesthetics over anything else of substance. The leagues are created by the very outlandish things people write in their profiles matched by what you see in their verifications, leaving you thinking "well, I have non of those visible qualities".

Perhaps "league" isn't the right word. You may as well call it "rhubarb"; it still applies regardless.

[*all my intimate experiences have been with women 100s of miles from my locale]"

You mean phrases such as 'exceptional'? I generally avoid any contact at all with them

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By *uzzleMan
14 weeks ago

Hastings

Whilst its a nice idea that a hierarchy doesn't exist and we're all equal, its just not the world we live in or a realistic view.

A hierarchy or pecking order, call it what you will, is absolutely real.

I appreciate people are trying to be positive and say got for it, send a message etc.

However, there is absolutely no point in me messaging the prettiest girl I like because they won't be interested. I have a realistic attitude built up from 20 years of not dating and rejection so I know what I am talking about!

I know my place in society and the peckig order, its not an issue. I get told at work not to ask a girl out or chat to her because they are our of your league. This isn't because my work mates are not being arseholes, they just don't want to be embarassed and I get that. Its just the way it is!

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By *2000ManMan
14 weeks ago

Worthing

In the 'blokes' league, top 6 are them "on the telly" and us are the rest. Makes us try harder for those points. Who knows, we might qualify!

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

It might not be leagues, but I do stop myself approaching profiles I find attractive because I think I wouldn't be their type because common patterns emerge in who they're looking for. I could be looking for a big tiddy goth gf, but I know I'm not a big tiddy goth's type if that makes sense?

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By *eroLondonMan
14 weeks ago

Mayfair


"I disagree. But I suppose that's from personal experience.

It depends on your milieu and, living in London where I have made zero intimate* connections on Fab , it's clear the shallowness prevails when it comes to aesthetics over anything else of substance. The leagues are created by the very outlandish things people write in their profiles matched by what you see in their verifications, leaving you thinking "well, I have non of those visible qualities".

Perhaps "league" isn't the right word. You may as well call it "rhubarb"; it still applies regardless.

[*all my intimate experiences have been with women 100s of miles from my locale]"

·

...and adding to that what JoeBeans has mentioned "common patterns" (thank you Joe). I may not be out of their league but I fall short of those insurmountable "common patterns"...which basically infers that I'm out of their league.

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By *os_Goddessofdawn OP   Woman
14 weeks ago

In the clouds

Trouble is...on here all we have to go on is the written word, how you portray yourself in someone's perception, and photos... so of course we have types but doesn't mean you're not good enough or a different "league" because you're not what someone is looking for

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By *hastity_roseTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Nowhere

Unfortunately there's definitely leagues .

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By *ea monkeyMan
14 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)


"Ugh. I hate leagues.

If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off."

This!

There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take "

I shot my shot. I tend to hit my feet though

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By *ir tootMan
14 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Ugh. I hate leagues.

If I see someone talking about others being out of their league and then they try to talk to me it's hard to shift the idea of "Cool, I'm unattractive enough to not be intimidating but not so unattractive they couldn't do me with the lights off."

This!

There are no leagues. Shoot your shots, you miss 100% of the ones you don’t take

I shot my shot. I tend to hit my feet though "

I tend to go over my head.

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By *ark742024Man
14 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x"

Yeah, so you can reject whoever shoots

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By *ife NinjaMan
14 weeks ago

Dunfermline

I recently was chatting to someone. I sent a face pic, and as I have grey hair (what's left), she told me I looked like her dad (she was 1 year older), and instantly stopped chatting.

Now, I chalk that up and move on, but you can't help but take a knock from that, and you start questioning your viability on here.

Is that 'leaguing' yourself? Not sure, but it is why I prefer clubs and socials. Expressing yourself in the real world will always be easier than in a few words and photos on here

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By *parkle1974Woman
14 weeks ago

Leeds


"Yeah it's a total turn off when guys say that. I'm no better than anyone else and don't pretend to be. I always say "shoot your shot as you've nothing to lose" x

Yeah, so you can reject whoever shoots "

Ofcourse but then not everyone is going to be everyone's cup of tea which is fine....the rejection certainly wouldn't be because I thought they were out of any league.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
14 weeks ago

Ends

I think it’s more ‘out of reach’ than out of my league.

I fancy Billie Eilish but she’s out of my league. She’s out of my reach. The kind of person that can have anyone for whatever reason is what I would refer to.

I don’t fancy any royals but also- out of my league/ reach. This isn’t just about looks- it’s multiple things that makes someone unattainable.

It sounds mean or self deprecating but it’s true. There are people that would not ever think about a romantic connection with me. They’re out of my league.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
14 weeks ago

North West

I'm in the National League North

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By *ora the explorerWoman
14 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m in a netball league if that counts

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By *igi25Woman
14 weeks ago

worcs

I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first.

I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago


"I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first.

I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall"

This is pretty inspiring! FAF?

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
14 weeks ago

Around the Midlands

Is this similar to being told by complete strangers that you're punching? 🤔

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By *.T.Man
14 weeks ago

Near the airport

I've approached women who I think are out of my league and got nowhere. Equally I have approached women that I think are out of my league and charmed them into bed.

When I compare myself to the more "successful" men on here, my confidence is crushed sometimes. But then I remember the fun times I've had with absolute stunners and remember that they wanted to meet me for me, not because I have a massive cock or muscles.

Sometimes you just have to have the confidence to reach out to those you are attracted to and be pleasantly surprised when it is reciprocated.

Turns out, not every woman wants the same thing and whilst I am quite "niche", I do manage to meet genuinely lovely people who I tend to click with. Not always, but you have to take that chance

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By *elix SightedMan
14 weeks ago

Cloud 8


"I recently was chatting to someone. I sent a face pic, and as I have grey hair (what's left), she told me I looked like her dad (she was 1 year older), and instantly stopped chatting.

Now, I chalk that up and move on, but you can't help but take a knock from that, and you start questioning your viability on here.

Is that 'leaguing' yourself? Not sure, but it is why I prefer clubs and socials. Expressing yourself in the real world will always be easier than in a few words and photos on here "

No dude, I don’t think this is leaguing yourself and messages like that shouldn’t make you question your viability on this site. She may not have expressed it very sensitively but, either way, she has a preference for guys without grey hair. You’ll know as well as anyone on here how many threads we have celebrating silver foxes.

You’re not out of her league, you just don’t meet her preferences

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By *amsevenMan
14 weeks ago

cork

If someone says I'm not in their league I say they must have got relegated

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By *ortyairCouple
14 weeks ago

Wallasey

Nobody is any better than any other but some are more objectively desirable.

I'd love a date with Idris Elba or George Clooney but realise that I'm probably not what they are looking for.

It's not self deprivation or an esteem issue, surely it's just being realistic.

I use this in all aspects of my life, because if I didn't it would surely lead to disappointment all around. I may want to be able to cook Michelin quality food but a nice takeaway or maybe a piece of Cheese on Toast is fine too. It's a lie when they say you can have it all because you can't.

As for talk of leagues and ratings, I'll join in, it's just a bit of frivolous fun.

You have to cut your cloth accordingly with all aspects of your life, be happy with what you've got, you are already enough,

Mrs x

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By *ortyairCouple
14 weeks ago

Wallasey

Deprecation not deprivation haha, although I've been known to be depraved at times, Mrs x

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By *eebubbles76Man
14 weeks ago

Halifax

Was told this morning I was way out of their league, just came across as big headed of them to me

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
14 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

[Removed by poster at 02/11/24 14:02:47]

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
14 weeks ago

Wherever

I absolutely believe there are leagues.

Just personal opinion but every time I venture out of my league, I pay the price later.

Fab for me truly taught me to know my place, and it’s nothing to do with confidence.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
14 weeks ago

Southampton


"I absolutely believe there are leagues.

Just personal opinion but every time I venture out of my league, I pay the price later.

Fab for me truly taught me to know my place, and it’s nothing to do with confidence."

This xx

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By *andynecklaceWoman
14 weeks ago

Someplace

It's a thing. Denying it doesn't mean it suddenly doesn't. Some people are better looking, more well off or just live a different life to others...all of that is a factor.

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By *Ollyinone.Man
14 weeks ago

West Mids

Probably are leagues. But there’s definitely a possibility for a good cup run.

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By *B69Woman
14 weeks ago

Wiltshire

When I first met my FWB my initial thought of him was this guy is another level, 5star everything, private jets, helicopters, he even admitted he’s extra, I asked “why me, you could have anyone” and he said because I was me, I didn’t try to impress or be anyone else and I treated him normally. So from now on I’d tell anyone to ignore all talk of leagues and go for it, we are all human beings.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago


"I absolutely believe there are leagues.

Just personal opinion but every time I venture out of my league, I pay the price later.

Fab for me truly taught me to know my place, and it’s nothing to do with confidence."

Dee you're in a league of your own x

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
14 weeks ago

Reading

Also who someone is attracted to may not have any bearing on whatever league you have put them in. Gym bods going for mum bods etc.

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By *ags73Man
14 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"This whole you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take might be inspiring for snipers and active mass shooters but it’s pretty useless to everyone else.

‘Use your words’

It’s the guy that does go over and chat that’s got an instantly bigger chance

It’s cute but over simplistic.

Complicate it.

IRL. You approach a woman you like. You might get shot down. But it might be successful. I approach a guy I like. I might just end up in hospital.

Fab. ‘Straight’ men approach gay, bi, tv etc. ok. Other way around. Queue the whining post why are all the fags messaging he can’t they see I’m as straight as a ruler? Wtf.

Etc.

"

Fair shout.

I guess I was talking in my terms rather than general

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By *igi25Woman
14 weeks ago

worcs


"I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first.

I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall

This is pretty inspiring! FAF? "

Sweet talker 🤭

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By *mf123Man
14 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Confidence issues i suppose way i see it theres so many gloyts with sexy looking women out there to worry about leagues

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By *929Man
14 weeks ago

bedlington

I tend to continue myself everyone out of my league, I’m very confident in every area of life yet feel I have fuck all to offer anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
13 weeks ago


"I’ve had this said to me in the past and it gets frustrating, my best meets have been with guys that have said they would never of msg me first.

I do feel there are profiles that try and make themselves come across as being the cream of the crop and have all manner of stipulations that they will only accept, but having seen their verifications and yes I’ve followed the verification line it dosnt ring true. So as others have said, go for it, we are strangers on a swingers site afterall

This is pretty inspiring! FAF?

Sweet talker 🤭"

You said go for it and I shot my shot, so do... I mean sue me 😆

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Stockport

I don't do leagues. If I see someone on here that I find attractive, and their profile gives any hint that they might find my sort of person attractive, and circumstances seem right, then I may well drop them a message. I never think "oh I've got no chance" unless they've said that my type of trans is just not what they want. Doesn't mean that I go carpet bombing everyone's profiles - if I message, then it's always individually composed messages, and that takes time lol - just that I don't think in terms of "am I good enough for them", more like "might we have anything in common?".

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Stockport

PS. Any of the ladies in this thread who might have thought "I'd love a chance with Polly, but she's out of my league"... Okay, unlikely 😂😂😂. If there are any of you though, I don't do leagues...

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By *eturningagain2024Man
13 weeks ago

fife

I think mostly it’s a self confidence thing, like if a guy or women says to you that you are out of their league then they don’t have a lot of self confidence and believe that other people are better than them, or look better. How many times do you see a couple and think ohhhh he’s punching or she’s punching, I’m sure the not as pretty one in that relationship prob thought the same thing I could never get someone like that and they did,

Forget the leagues if you like someone and fancy them go for it, you’ll never know the answer unless you ask, shoot your shot,

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By *ucka39Man
13 weeks ago

Newcastle

I'm in the league of my own, if ya know you know

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