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A shout into the void

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I'm in so much pain and I can't bear it. I really can't. But I have to. I promised our daughter a day out together tomorrow but I can't. I feel like such a failure. A disappointment and a burden.

But I can't say any of this out loud.

This is supposed to be a nice day off work. Tomorrow ditto then supposed to be back working on Friday.

Anyways. Thanks for listening, The Void.

Feel free to have a shout out for yourself.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Sorry is inadequate but I am.

Why can't you say this out loud? I hope it eases soon. I don't think even the most empathetic person truly understands terrible pain until they've experienced it and how it impacts your entire life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Sorry is inadequate but I am.

Why can't you say this out loud? I hope it eases soon. I don't think even the most empathetic person truly understands terrible pain until they've experienced it and how it impacts your entire life. "

Because I'm with my daughter and she doesn't need to know what shite is in my head. I can't look after her on my own tomorrow and honestly, I'm distraught. I won't get another opportunity, no leave left other than what's already booked for Christmas.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

VOID… please make mrs kc better soon and stop the pain.

Many thanks

Samual

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Sorry is inadequate but I am.

Why can't you say this out loud? I hope it eases soon. I don't think even the most empathetic person truly understands terrible pain until they've experienced it and how it impacts your entire life.

Because I'm with my daughter and she doesn't need to know what shite is in my head. I can't look after her on my own tomorrow and honestly, I'm distraught. I won't get another opportunity, no leave left other than what's already booked for Christmas. "

Ah I understand. No you can't lay your stuff on your kids.

You know it's ok to get signed off work don't you. You don't have to be strong all the time and as much as you're valuable in your role they can and will cope without you. Sometimes it's ok to take time out.

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By *sWyldWoman
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I'm so sorry you're struggling so much. You're stronger than you think and a wonderful mum.

I understand the leave situation, however you need to prioritise your health and don't overdo things.

We are all 100% replaceable at work but not at home.

I hope the pain eases soon xx

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By *emorefridaCouple
4 weeks ago

La la land

Sorry to hear your not well Mrs KC. Constant pain makes your brain hurt as well as physically.

Would mirror nice couples advice about looking to getting signed off for a bit. I struggled on with illness at one point and made myself worse, I eventually had to be signed off and tbh it was for the best. I needed time to recover, plus it'll allow you more energy for your kids. X

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
4 weeks ago

Ends

Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd"

🤔 ahhh yes.

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
4 weeks ago

Ends


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd"

I need to be a big boy and fix my life.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

I need to be a big boy and fix my life. "

true that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

May I just shout in to the void.

"My daaaaaaaad"

😱

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

I need to be a big boy and fix my life. "

Can you fix me too please?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"May I just shout in to the void.

"My daaaaaaaad"

😱"

You may. I will join you in that one too

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By *oxychicWoman
4 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

I need to be a big boy and fix my life. "

Can u fix me aswell , pretty please

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oxychicWoman
4 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

Pity your not closer kinky I would of gave u a hand 😊xx

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By *ell GwynnWoman
4 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Oh, MrsKC ☹️ 🫂 ❤️

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By *ora the explorerWoman
4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Oh Mrs KC I don’t know what to say other than send lots of love. It must be so difficult for you and you always seem so strong ❤️❤️

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Mrs KC, I hope you feel better soon. I have nothing but the deepest sympathy.

❤❤❤

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Fuckity fucking fuck.. Can you up your meds

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
4 weeks ago

Ends


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

I need to be a big boy and fix my life.

Can u fix me aswell , pretty please "

I’ll do special things to you.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
4 weeks ago

Ends


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

I need to be a big boy and fix my life.

Can you fix me too please? "

Yes of course KC ❤️

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *oxychicWoman
4 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire


"Ajknnbgcdddfcghjjfffffddredgjhcfsswessdfgvgijvcdrrxseefvhijvferd

I need to be a big boy and fix my life.

Can u fix me aswell , pretty please

I’ll do special things to you. "

That u do 😊

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
4 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Mrs K.C. there is fuck all I can do but if I COULD take your pain for 24 hours and give you your day out I would.

Hope you get more opportunities to have pain free days out. j

I'd be giving you it right back on the dot though .... xx

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Fuckity fucking fuck.. Can you up your meds "

Currently smacked off my tits on full strength codeine but it's made next to no difference.

I don't want to crack out anything stronger really.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

If I can't work on Friday then that's by the bye. I booked two whole days off this week, half term. That's what I'm upset about.

It means having to use the holiday club (that I promised she wouldn't be going to) and another parent has agreed to take her for the afternoon and take her to a thing I'd promised she could go to.

I'll spend all day tomorrow, my annual leave, alone at home. I'll have a flask of tea left by the bed and another of water and whatever food is provided by Mr KC and left in reach. Fuck knows how I'll use the loo.

I can't keep pretending to be tough.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago


"Fuckity fucking fuck.. Can you up your meds

Currently smacked off my tits on full strength codeine but it's made next to no difference.

I don't want to crack out anything stronger really. "

Oh KC

Is there anything we do to help??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Fuckity fucking fuck.. Can you up your meds

Currently smacked off my tits on full strength codeine but it's made next to no difference.

I don't want to crack out anything stronger really.

Oh KC

Is there anything we do to help?? "

Not really I don't think. Unless someone wants to be on loo duty tomorrow day time?!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton


"I'm in so much pain and I can't bear it. I really can't. But I have to. I promised our daughter a day out together tomorrow but I can't. I feel like such a failure. A disappointment and a burden.

But I can't say any of this out loud.

This is supposed to be a nice day off work. Tomorrow ditto then supposed to be back working on Friday.

Anyways. Thanks for listening, The Void.

Feel free to have a shout out for yourself. "

Oh lovely I'm so sorry you're having a rough time, sending you gentle hugs xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *obilebottomMan
4 weeks ago

All over

Oh I am so sorry. It sounds really tough, especially as you can't vocalise it all but you can't help what you can't do. You are a good mum and want to protect your kids from your pain but long term is also right to protect yourself. You can only do what you can do. No help what's so ever I know but sending

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I am in so much pain, it's untrue.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton


"I am in so much pain, it's untrue. "

Sending gentle hugs.... xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *heGateKeeperMan
4 weeks ago

Stratford


"I am in so much pain, it's untrue. "

🥲

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

And now home alone, in bed, for the next 12hr. Genuinely don't know how I'll get to the loo. But never mind.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton


"And now home alone, in bed, for the next 12hr. Genuinely don't know how I'll get to the loo. But never mind. "

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"I am in so much pain, it's untrue. "

Are you at the stage you need to speak to someone outside and unload, because you are breaking apart emotionally because of this pain?

If yes, just do it - because you need it. An emergency mental health line (111 takes the call now).

If no, and you're still at the "detached observing myself stage", then put a plan in place for talking.

And a realistic plan of how to manage ongoing issues.

A realistic view of short, medium, and long-term "my life will be like x and I can expect y".

I have no idea where you are in any of this process - but my "gut" says you're trying to "beat it" through will power.

But the pain is too big for willpower to defeat, which means you're also in denial about realistic life choices (especially the shitty ones).

So, even if my gut is wrong...you still need further help of some sort xxxx

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I called for a GP home visit but was told to call 111 or 999

FFS

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By *usyBusyGirlWoman
4 weeks ago

Brum


"I called for a GP home visit but was told to call 111 or 999

FFS "

Call 111 x

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Sending gentle hugs. A flare up is no joke and it always happens at the worst times. Take your meds, even if that means breaking out the strong stuff. Your daughter will understand. Maybe do something special at home instead. Hot chocolate, cakes and cosy movies in bed?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I don't want to go and lie on an A&E trolley for eleventy thousand hours

If nothing else, they're so uncomfortable on a good day that it would just be a new way to torture me.

I'm going to call 111 but they'll go all 999 cos there are red flag symptoms. I'm one giant red flag tho.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I don't want to go and lie on an A&E trolley for eleventy thousand hours

If nothing else, they're so uncomfortable on a good day that it would just be a new way to torture me.

I'm going to call 111 but they'll go all 999 cos there are red flag symptoms. I'm one giant red flag tho. "

You can refuse hospital but a visit from paramedics might be enough to get you some help. Also if you have red flag symptoms you need to be seen by someone.

I'm going all mum mode on you now. This is at the stage where you have to stop being brave and ask medical professionals for help. If I was there I'd ring on your behalf.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r John WickMan
4 weeks ago

The Continental

I say this with sincerity, even with its bluntness.

Stop trying to be the big hero, putting on the brave face and all that shit…….ask for some help!

You can’t keep pretending to the kid that nothing’s wrong.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I don't want to go and lie on an A&E trolley for eleventy thousand hours

If nothing else, they're so uncomfortable on a good day that it would just be a new way to torture me.

I'm going to call 111 but they'll go all 999 cos there are red flag symptoms. I'm one giant red flag tho.

You can refuse hospital but a visit from paramedics might be enough to get you some help. Also if you have red flag symptoms you need to be seen by someone.

I'm going all mum mode on you now. This is at the stage where you have to stop being brave and ask medical professionals for help. If I was there I'd ring on your behalf. "

I have red flag symptoms all the time, they're constant.

I spoke to 111, they want to send an ambulance so fine. At least 4hrs wait etc. Also fine. It'll go like previous episodes where I end up back home, living in bed and no actual answers to anything.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I don't want to go and lie on an A&E trolley for eleventy thousand hours

If nothing else, they're so uncomfortable on a good day that it would just be a new way to torture me.

I'm going to call 111 but they'll go all 999 cos there are red flag symptoms. I'm one giant red flag tho.

You can refuse hospital but a visit from paramedics might be enough to get you some help. Also if you have red flag symptoms you need to be seen by someone.

I'm going all mum mode on you now. This is at the stage where you have to stop being brave and ask medical professionals for help. If I was there I'd ring on your behalf.

I have red flag symptoms all the time, they're constant.

I spoke to 111, they want to send an ambulance so fine. At least 4hrs wait etc. Also fine. It'll go like previous episodes where I end up back home, living in bed and no actual answers to anything."

I understand, unfortunately. I wish I could give you more positive and up lifting solutions but we both know the realities of your situation. Please convey the full extent of your situation to the professionals though. Don't put a good face on it. Tell them what you've told us.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I say this with sincerity, even with its bluntness.

Stop trying to be the big hero, putting on the brave face and all that shit…….ask for some help!

You can’t keep pretending to the kid that nothing’s wrong. "

I've asked for help plenty of times in the past. I've been to hospital in similar circumstances many times. I've sat in A&E for over 14hrs on one occasion. Yet, here I am, still.

I've gone down the ambulance route. Await the charade that will follow (see above)

No-one has managed to get to the bottom of these episodes of intractable and severe pain, accompanied by red flags galore. My last hospital admission in 2023 involved health care assistants questioning why I was asking for assistance in showering and interrogating me as to why I didn't have visitors every day. My wheelchair was routinely left beyond my reach and requests for aid in getting out of bed we're scoffed at, as if I was feigning need.

You can imagine my reluctance to repeat the same thing, especially as that admission included referral to outpatient services that I STILL have not received, almost 2 years later.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"I don't want to go and lie on an A&E trolley for eleventy thousand hours

If nothing else, they're so uncomfortable on a good day that it would just be a new way to torture me.

I'm going to call 111 but they'll go all 999 cos there are red flag symptoms. I'm one giant red flag tho.

You can refuse hospital but a visit from paramedics might be enough to get you some help. Also if you have red flag symptoms you need to be seen by someone.

I'm going all mum mode on you now. This is at the stage where you have to stop being brave and ask medical professionals for help. If I was there I'd ring on your behalf.

I have red flag symptoms all the time, they're constant.

I spoke to 111, they want to send an ambulance so fine. At least 4hrs wait etc. Also fine. It'll go like previous episodes where I end up back home, living in bed and no actual answers to anything."

So if I've got this right, you have physical issues. Some of those you can grasp intellectually. Others have no satisfactory explanation yet. So you're exhausted with the medical side, because it can only go so far in giving you useful data?

The reality of the pain, and the frustration in not having useful explanations, is driving you to emotional distraction and exhaustion.

If that's an accurate description, and medical science is not yet mature enough to explain the issues, or medicate them, then you're still left with the reality of managing the mental health consequences.

You're in an unenviable situation.

But it's real.

What can you do that you're not currently doing?

The medical side seems at its level of fullest data availability, leaving the mental health side with some gaps that can be better filled.

None of that will give you a wonderful and happy existence I imagine, but what can YOU do to alleviate, even mildly, the issues generated by those gaps?

John's right - your kid knows.

Kids always know, the moment they're born (even before). A lack of language or education doesn't stop the kid knowing (and feeling, which is the deepest knowing for a kid, and probably an adult too).

Your kid knows.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I say this with sincerity, even with its bluntness.

Stop trying to be the big hero, putting on the brave face and all that shit…….ask for some help!

You can’t keep pretending to the kid that nothing’s wrong.

I've asked for help plenty of times in the past. I've been to hospital in similar circumstances many times. I've sat in A&E for over 14hrs on one occasion. Yet, here I am, still.

I've gone down the ambulance route. Await the charade that will follow (see above)

No-one has managed to get to the bottom of these episodes of intractable and severe pain, accompanied by red flags galore. My last hospital admission in 2023 involved health care assistants questioning why I was asking for assistance in showering and interrogating me as to why I didn't have visitors every day. My wheelchair was routinely left beyond my reach and requests for aid in getting out of bed we're scoffed at, as if I was feigning need.

You can imagine my reluctance to repeat the same thing, especially as that admission included referral to outpatient services that I STILL have not received, almost 2 years later."

Can someone advocate on your behalf? I know you probably don't want that but I used to speak to nurses and doctors on my mum's behalf when she was 'putting a brave face' on things. I would also mention when I thought she wasn't being taken seriously or receiving the help . she needed.

I also understand how bloody exhausting it is to have people make suggestions that you know aren't going to work 😕 and you probably don't have the physical or mental strength to carry out anyway.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"

John's right - your kid knows.

Kids always know, the moment they're born (even before). A lack of language or education doesn't stop the kid knowing (and feeling, which is the deepest knowing for a kid, and probably an adult too).

Your kid knows."

Having my kid caused all this. So yeah. I'm trying not to traumatise her too much more.

I've had counselling. I've not been physically able to attend on some occasions and because of the lack of privacy at home, not been able to join those sessions online either sometimes. The last counselling session is on Tuesday, which, if this continues, I won't be able to attend and will rely on someone being here to fetch my laptop if I'm to join online.

I've done the best I can both to work out what's going on physically and to address the mental impact of it all but maybe I'm just not good enough at verbalising what's going on?

I've used words like "I would prefer to die" in the past but because I didn't (and don't) have "active" intentions then that's not a crisis. I was seen by the psychology consultant chap during the last admission, he recommended certain things and then as soon as I was discharged, we moved to another locality and none of the recommendations were implemented and attempts to have them implemented have come to nought.

It's not through want of trying, trust me.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I must also point out that I waited longer for the counselling I have received to date, because most of the venues available were not wheelchair accessible.

Make of that what you will.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Do you want us just to listen/read rather than offer solutions you've already tried and have a pretty good idea won't work?

Sometimes that's what's needed. A metaphorical hand to hold while you talk about how shit it all is and the hand holder to say "yeah, it's crap".

We can do that...

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"

John's right - your kid knows.

Kids always know, the moment they're born (even before). A lack of language or education doesn't stop the kid knowing (and feeling, which is the deepest knowing for a kid, and probably an adult too).

Your kid knows.

Having my kid caused all this. So yeah. I'm trying not to traumatise her too much more.

I've had counselling. I've not been physically able to attend on some occasions and because of the lack of privacy at home, not been able to join those sessions online either sometimes. The last counselling session is on Tuesday, which, if this continues, I won't be able to attend and will rely on someone being here to fetch my laptop if I'm to join online.

I've done the best I can both to work out what's going on physically and to address the mental impact of it all but maybe I'm just not good enough at verbalising what's going on?

I've used words like "I would prefer to die" in the past but because I didn't (and don't) have "active" intentions then that's not a crisis. I was seen by the psychology consultant chap during the last admission, he recommended certain things and then as soon as I was discharged, we moved to another locality and none of the recommendations were implemented and attempts to have them implemented have come to nought.

It's not through want of trying, trust me. "

So, something needs to change, right?

As NiceCouple said, an advocate on your behalf is an option.

Another option is carrying on as now, with everything that means.

The final option is you do more. Call Samaritans and rage and cry and snot.

Call 111 mental health section that started recently and rage and cry and snot.

I'm assuming you've learned some breathing meditations over the years - both in terms of how the breath changes focus and awareness, but breath is physiologically part of pain management.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"

John's right - your kid knows.

Kids always know, the moment they're born (even before). A lack of language or education doesn't stop the kid knowing (and feeling, which is the deepest knowing for a kid, and probably an adult too).

Your kid knows.

Having my kid caused all this. So yeah. I'm trying not to traumatise her too much more.

I've had counselling. I've not been physically able to attend on some occasions and because of the lack of privacy at home, not been able to join those sessions online either sometimes. The last counselling session is on Tuesday, which, if this continues, I won't be able to attend and will rely on someone being here to fetch my laptop if I'm to join online.

I've done the best I can both to work out what's going on physically and to address the mental impact of it all but maybe I'm just not good enough at verbalising what's going on?

I've used words like "I would prefer to die" in the past but because I didn't (and don't) have "active" intentions then that's not a crisis. I was seen by the psychology consultant chap during the last admission, he recommended certain things and then as soon as I was discharged, we moved to another locality and none of the recommendations were implemented and attempts to have them implemented have come to nought.

It's not through want of trying, trust me.

So, something needs to change, right?

As NiceCouple said, an advocate on your behalf is an option.

Another option is carrying on as now, with everything that means.

The final option is you do more. Call Samaritans and rage and cry and snot.

Call 111 mental health section that started recently and rage and cry and snot.

I'm assuming you've learned some breathing meditations over the years - both in terms of how the breath changes focus and awareness, but breath is physiologically part of pain management. "

Nicky, I had a full on breakdown during the last hospital admission (hence the psych guy coming, eventually) but even then, the night nurse told me to pull myself together and crack on. It was only after I phoned PALS from my hospital bed and a work colleague phoned up on my behalf, that the psych guy came. See above, he recommended stuff, none of the stuff happened. Rinse and repeat. I'm trying my very best. I really am.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"

John's right - your kid knows.

Kids always know, the moment they're born (even before). A lack of language or education doesn't stop the kid knowing (and feeling, which is the deepest knowing for a kid, and probably an adult too).

Your kid knows.

Having my kid caused all this. So yeah. I'm trying not to traumatise her too much more.

I've had counselling. I've not been physically able to attend on some occasions and because of the lack of privacy at home, not been able to join those sessions online either sometimes. The last counselling session is on Tuesday, which, if this continues, I won't be able to attend and will rely on someone being here to fetch my laptop if I'm to join online.

I've done the best I can both to work out what's going on physically and to address the mental impact of it all but maybe I'm just not good enough at verbalising what's going on?

I've used words like "I would prefer to die" in the past but because I didn't (and don't) have "active" intentions then that's not a crisis. I was seen by the psychology consultant chap during the last admission, he recommended certain things and then as soon as I was discharged, we moved to another locality and none of the recommendations were implemented and attempts to have them implemented have come to nought.

It's not through want of trying, trust me.

So, something needs to change, right?

As NiceCouple said, an advocate on your behalf is an option.

Another option is carrying on as now, with everything that means.

The final option is you do more. Call Samaritans and rage and cry and snot.

Call 111 mental health section that started recently and rage and cry and snot.

I'm assuming you've learned some breathing meditations over the years - both in terms of how the breath changes focus and awareness, but breath is physiologically part of pain management.

Nicky, I had a full on breakdown during the last hospital admission (hence the psych guy coming, eventually) but even then, the night nurse told me to pull myself together and crack on. It was only after I phoned PALS from my hospital bed and a work colleague phoned up on my behalf, that the psych guy came. See above, he recommended stuff, none of the stuff happened. Rinse and repeat. I'm trying my very best. I really am. "

This is NOT your fault. Repeat NOT YOUR FAULT. The fault of there is any is the parlous state of the health service and the fact that as a woman who is young you are not being believed when you tell them about your pain, which happens a lot. It's crap.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"

John's right - your kid knows.

Kids always know, the moment they're born (even before). A lack of language or education doesn't stop the kid knowing (and feeling, which is the deepest knowing for a kid, and probably an adult too).

Your kid knows.

Having my kid caused all this. So yeah. I'm trying not to traumatise her too much more.

I've had counselling. I've not been physically able to attend on some occasions and because of the lack of privacy at home, not been able to join those sessions online either sometimes. The last counselling session is on Tuesday, which, if this continues, I won't be able to attend and will rely on someone being here to fetch my laptop if I'm to join online.

I've done the best I can both to work out what's going on physically and to address the mental impact of it all but maybe I'm just not good enough at verbalising what's going on?

I've used words like "I would prefer to die" in the past but because I didn't (and don't) have "active" intentions then that's not a crisis. I was seen by the psychology consultant chap during the last admission, he recommended certain things and then as soon as I was discharged, we moved to another locality and none of the recommendations were implemented and attempts to have them implemented have come to nought.

It's not through want of trying, trust me.

So, something needs to change, right?

As NiceCouple said, an advocate on your behalf is an option.

Another option is carrying on as now, with everything that means.

The final option is you do more. Call Samaritans and rage and cry and snot.

Call 111 mental health section that started recently and rage and cry and snot.

I'm assuming you've learned some breathing meditations over the years - both in terms of how the breath changes focus and awareness, but breath is physiologically part of pain management.

Nicky, I had a full on breakdown during the last hospital admission (hence the psych guy coming, eventually) but even then, the night nurse told me to pull myself together and crack on. It was only after I phoned PALS from my hospital bed and a work colleague phoned up on my behalf, that the psych guy came. See above, he recommended stuff, none of the stuff happened. Rinse and repeat. I'm trying my very best. I really am. "

Then call Samaritans, stop trying, and let go.

Have a breakdown on the phone with them.

Breakdowns can be bloody useful.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

"At least you have a healthy child"

If I had a pound for every time I heard that.

It appears that healthcare issues related to maternity are of trivially low importance because pregnancy and birth are natural, are not to be medicalised and it's just hard luck if it leaves you with permanent serious issues. The nature of maternity related issues are that they impact females and mostly younger ones (until those younger ones get older, obviously).

I'm not sure anyone who is not female can grasp how little anyone (male, female, medical professional or not) gives a shit about maternity related health problems. No-one wants to hear about negative experiences in pregnancy and childbirth because you might frighten someone.

I'm writing this here because it's a place to write it in a way I can manage. People are free to scroll on by or read it, I really don't mind. I can "journal" on paper because I can't get hold of any bloody paper or a pen and even if I could, I can't get into a position to use them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?"

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


""At least you have a healthy child"

If I had a pound for every time I heard that.

It appears that healthcare issues related to maternity are of trivially low importance because pregnancy and birth are natural, are not to be medicalised and it's just hard luck if it leaves you with permanent serious issues. The nature of maternity related issues are that they impact females and mostly younger ones (until those younger ones get older, obviously).

I'm not sure anyone who is not female can grasp how little anyone (male, female, medical professional or not) gives a shit about maternity related health problems. No-one wants to hear about negative experiences in pregnancy and childbirth because you might frighten someone.

I'm writing this here because it's a place to write it in a way I can manage. People are free to scroll on by or read it, I really don't mind. I can "journal" on paper because I can't get hold of any bloody paper or a pen and even if I could, I can't get into a position to use them. "

I hear you.

It's an awful position to be in and being dismissed by the people who should be helping you is beyond terrible.

Keep typing, get it out. As you've said nobody needs to read.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes. "

Yes they do and it's fine when it happens. It might shock people but meh!

A doctor told me that I present well. Which was shorthand for nobody is going to believe you unless you look as if you haven't washed for a week and are wearing clothes from a skip.

I can tell you're at the end of a very long tether.

Dull news from this end is I made fig jam. My dad didn't have his hearing aids in and is labouring under the misapprehension that I made 'pig' jam

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes.

Yes they do and it's fine when it happens. It might shock people but meh!

A doctor told me that I present well. Which was shorthand for nobody is going to believe you unless you look as if you haven't washed for a week and are wearing clothes from a skip.

I can tell you're at the end of a very long tether.

Dull news from this end is I made fig jam. My dad didn't have his hearing aids in and is labouring under the misapprehension that I made 'pig' jam"

Well, if and when the ambulance come, they're finding a woman in yesterday's knickers, a vest top that isn't on properly because I can't manage it and who cannot reach a hairbrush. My teeth are uncleaned and I've not showered. It's a "can't" for all the above too. I hope I look shitty enough to be considered a genuine case.

I hope your Dad likes his pig jam. My Dad went wandering at 4am. He did 1am yesterday. I have more missed calls from the monitoring people than I care to check.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

Also I had a call from the ambulance service to further triage because they might be referring to community services. I've laid it on thick but it's simply unfortunate that most of the red flags are not new and I can't pretend they are because they had access to my records. Awaiting another call back.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards

Pig jam always cheers me up xxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r John WickMan
4 weeks ago

The Continental


"Pig jam always cheers me up xxxx"

I think I’d prefer pig jam more than fig jam.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"Pig jam always cheers me up xxxx

I think I’d prefer pig jam more than fig jam. "

I like its tart sow-erness 🙃

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *r John WickMan
4 weeks ago

The Continental


"Pig jam always cheers me up xxxx

I think I’d prefer pig jam more than fig jam.

I like its tart sow-erness 🙃"

Maybe our long suffering OP could use some as oinkmemt?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"Pig jam always cheers me up xxxx

I think I’d prefer pig jam more than fig jam.

I like its tart sow-erness 🙃

Maybe our long suffering OP could use some as oinkmemt?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uriousscouserWoman
4 weeks ago

Wirral

Oh Mrs KC, I don't know what to say other than I hear you and I'm sending you love.❤️

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes.

Yes they do and it's fine when it happens. It might shock people but meh!

A doctor told me that I present well. Which was shorthand for nobody is going to believe you unless you look as if you haven't washed for a week and are wearing clothes from a skip.

I can tell you're at the end of a very long tether.

Dull news from this end is I made fig jam. My dad didn't have his hearing aids in and is labouring under the misapprehension that I made 'pig' jam

Well, if and when the ambulance come, they're finding a woman in yesterday's knickers, a vest top that isn't on properly because I can't manage it and who cannot reach a hairbrush. My teeth are uncleaned and I've not showered. It's a "can't" for all the above too. I hope I look shitty enough to be considered a genuine case.

I hope your Dad likes his pig jam. My Dad went wandering at 4am. He did 1am yesterday. I have more missed calls from the monitoring people than I care to check."

To be honest Mrs KC I don't know why you aren't managing your dad on top of all this. It's not as if you're doing anything now, is it?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"Oh Mrs KC, I don't know what to say other than I hear you and I'm sending you love.❤️"

Can you send me some pig jam while you're at it please?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Also I had a call from the ambulance service to further triage because they might be referring to community services. I've laid it on thick but it's simply unfortunate that most of the red flags are not new and I can't pretend they are because they had access to my records. Awaiting another call back."

Community services! Don't make me laugh.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Pig jam always cheers me up xxxx

I think I’d prefer pig jam more than fig jam.

I like its tart sow-erness 🙃

Maybe our long suffering OP could use some as oinkmemt?"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes.

Yes they do and it's fine when it happens. It might shock people but meh!

A doctor told me that I present well. Which was shorthand for nobody is going to believe you unless you look as if you haven't washed for a week and are wearing clothes from a skip.

I can tell you're at the end of a very long tether.

Dull news from this end is I made fig jam. My dad didn't have his hearing aids in and is labouring under the misapprehension that I made 'pig' jam

Well, if and when the ambulance come, they're finding a woman in yesterday's knickers, a vest top that isn't on properly because I can't manage it and who cannot reach a hairbrush. My teeth are uncleaned and I've not showered. It's a "can't" for all the above too. I hope I look shitty enough to be considered a genuine case.

I hope your Dad likes his pig jam. My Dad went wandering at 4am. He did 1am yesterday. I have more missed calls from the monitoring people than I care to check.

To be honest Mrs KC I don't know why you aren't managing your dad on top of all this. It's not as if you're doing anything now, is it?"

The people from the monitoring who went out yesterday morning can be heard on the doorbell cam commenting on the fact I don't answer the phone overnight and the fact this "poor old man" is left to fend for himself. I don't have the energy or mind space to complain. I'll just accept that as another of my great failings.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes.

Yes they do and it's fine when it happens. It might shock people but meh!

A doctor told me that I present well. Which was shorthand for nobody is going to believe you unless you look as if you haven't washed for a week and are wearing clothes from a skip.

I can tell you're at the end of a very long tether.

Dull news from this end is I made fig jam. My dad didn't have his hearing aids in and is labouring under the misapprehension that I made 'pig' jam

Well, if and when the ambulance come, they're finding a woman in yesterday's knickers, a vest top that isn't on properly because I can't manage it and who cannot reach a hairbrush. My teeth are uncleaned and I've not showered. It's a "can't" for all the above too. I hope I look shitty enough to be considered a genuine case.

I hope your Dad likes his pig jam. My Dad went wandering at 4am. He did 1am yesterday. I have more missed calls from the monitoring people than I care to check.

To be honest Mrs KC I don't know why you aren't managing your dad on top of all this. It's not as if you're doing anything now, is it?

The people from the monitoring who went out yesterday morning can be heard on the doorbell cam commenting on the fact I don't answer the phone overnight and the fact this "poor old man" is left to fend for himself. I don't have the energy or mind space to complain. I'll just accept that as another of my great failings. "

Honestly! My dad lives in an unacceptable level of filth. His cooker is a fire hazard and we wash cups with boiling water. The house is in a dreadful state of disrepair and his clothes are frequently filthy.

There is nothing we can do short of going against his wishes. I know people assume that we neglect him and wonder why we don't do anything. Anytime anyone says as much I tell them they're welcome to try.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes.

Yes they do and it's fine when it happens. It might shock people but meh!

A doctor told me that I present well. Which was shorthand for nobody is going to believe you unless you look as if you haven't washed for a week and are wearing clothes from a skip.

I can tell you're at the end of a very long tether.

Dull news from this end is I made fig jam. My dad didn't have his hearing aids in and is labouring under the misapprehension that I made 'pig' jam

Well, if and when the ambulance come, they're finding a woman in yesterday's knickers, a vest top that isn't on properly because I can't manage it and who cannot reach a hairbrush. My teeth are uncleaned and I've not showered. It's a "can't" for all the above too. I hope I look shitty enough to be considered a genuine case.

I hope your Dad likes his pig jam. My Dad went wandering at 4am. He did 1am yesterday. I have more missed calls from the monitoring people than I care to check.

To be honest Mrs KC I don't know why you aren't managing your dad on top of all this. It's not as if you're doing anything now, is it?

The people from the monitoring who went out yesterday morning can be heard on the doorbell cam commenting on the fact I don't answer the phone overnight and the fact this "poor old man" is left to fend for himself. I don't have the energy or mind space to complain. I'll just accept that as another of my great failings. "

This is mental health negative self-talk though.

People talk shit. And when we're really low, that shit feels louder than the non-shit, gets into us more. Which is emotional, not physical in the classic sense (it's all physical, but that's another topic).

Your emotions need to run through your system - freely.

That stuff can't be stuck in.

Even pig jam oinkment ain't strong enough to deal with that, and there's nothing stronger out there ya know.

So do use this space, and the people here, as part of that process.

And do let yourself fall apart. Everywhere you need to.

Not just because it might be the only way you get to be taken seriously by psych/med, but because we are made to fall apart when it gets too much.

It's part of feeling a bit less shit xxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

The comments about my Dad aren't my words. They're the words of the people who are paid to monitor a care line and door alarm but who's first response every time is to phone me to see if I can go out. Despite me explaining my situation hundreds of times, they ring me. Three times they called me between 03:57 and 04:00. My phone is on DND overnight for this reason alone.

Yet, in front of a camera doorbell, they audibly judge. Audibly comment on how little his daughter (no mention of my brother) does to help and how he shouldn't live alone.

I didn't judge me. They did. I know I'm doing what I can for my Dad. I do feel guilty that I can't do more but that's not my main concern right now.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards


"The comments about my Dad aren't my words. They're the words of the people who are paid to monitor a care line and door alarm but who's first response every time is to phone me to see if I can go out. Despite me explaining my situation hundreds of times, they ring me. Three times they called me between 03:57 and 04:00. My phone is on DND overnight for this reason alone.

Yet, in front of a camera doorbell, they audibly judge. Audibly comment on how little his daughter (no mention of my brother) does to help and how he shouldn't live alone.

I didn't judge me. They did. I know I'm doing what I can for my Dad. I do feel guilty that I can't do more but that's not my main concern right now. "

I know. And from a place of emotional/mental health, no one takes those words or people seriously. They're laughable and ignorant.

But YOU are so low they're just part of the mix of current misery, bigger and louder than they actually really are (I repeat - ignorant and laughable).

You've got two main themes here.

1) The reality of your physical issues, and dealing with them

2) The emotional and mental health aspect. Which is huge.

1) Appears to be a game heavily stacked against you

2) Appears to be a game you can find some wins from. Advocate, letting off steam here, Samaritans, falling apart, turning up to hospital and looking scary (which is honest) - and triggering greater psych involvement, etc, etc.

1) Looks like a more fixed issue, even if not fully fixed

2) Has got wiggle room, including falling apart emotionally as a positive.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *om and JennieCouple
4 weeks ago

Chams or Socials


"The comments about my Dad aren't my words. They're the words of the people who are paid to monitor a care line and door alarm but who's first response every time is to phone me to see if I can go out. Despite me explaining my situation hundreds of times, they ring me. Three times they called me between 03:57 and 04:00. My phone is on DND overnight for this reason alone.

Yet, in front of a camera doorbell, they audibly judge. Audibly comment on how little his daughter (no mention of my brother) does to help and how he shouldn't live alone.

I didn't judge me. They did. I know I'm doing what I can for my Dad. I do feel guilty that I can't do more but that's not my main concern right now. "

I’d keep the footage & report them!!! How bloody dare they!!!!

I know you’re in a no-win situation & wish we could do more to help than just listen xxx

J x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago


"So many responses are asking you to do something when you're at you're weakest and most vulnerable. I'm sorry, you need us to do what you need.

What do you need, are you able to articulate it or do you just as I said need us to listen and accept?

I just want someone to care, or at least pretend they do. Someone to believe me and not tell me I'm tough and you'll be fine and you can manage it and all that. I know I'm tough. But even tough nuts crack sometimes. "

KC, we definitely care ❤️❤️❤️

Nicky's suggestion of calling the Samaritans, just to let off steam with a sympathetic human who isn't going to try to fix it, is a good one to consider xxx

It won't help your pain, but it'll help with not feeling alone in this and may make you feel a bit more relisilient when your daughter is back xxxx

Sending oodles of hugs and love.. You don't have to be tough all the time xxxxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

What a time to be alive. Now have signal here on a ward. Spent 21hrs on a trolley in A&E, in a cupboard. Ambulance people did not bring my wheelchair, despite asking, so I was brought in to be at the mercy of others. Unable to move my own position, to reach water or anything else. Initially without access even to a call bell, not that it was answered when eventually provided.

Without going into too much detail, I currently need loo related help but again, I went first over 7hrs before help came. Enough urine to sink a ship came forth. The next time, it took 2hrs from first requesting help and only because I shouted at every passing person and frankly pissed them all off.

No regular medication provided (ambulance said I didn't need to bring mine and I was in no position to disagree) because it was not prescribed despite me explaining my regular meds.

No pain relief between 02:00 (which I asked for) and almost 10:00 when they dispatched me here.

It's utterly terrifying being 100% utterly dependent on others.

The nurses who were assigned to me were lovely, lovely people. They were insanely over worked and under resourced. E.g. only 1 catheter trolley for a large A&E with 30+ bays.

Anyways, I'm very lucky I don't have pressure sores and await the gauntlet that is ahead of me.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
4 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oh, Mrs KC. Sending you all the love and hope that your pain eases.

Mrs TMN x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"What a time to be alive. Now have signal here on a ward. Spent 21hrs on a trolley in A&E, in a cupboard. Ambulance people did not bring my wheelchair, despite asking, so I was brought in to be at the mercy of others. Unable to move my own position, to reach water or anything else. Initially without access even to a call bell, not that it was answered when eventually provided.

Without going into too much detail, I currently need loo related help but again, I went first over 7hrs before help came. Enough urine to sink a ship came forth. The next time, it took 2hrs from first requesting help and only because I shouted at every passing person and frankly pissed them all off.

No regular medication provided (ambulance said I didn't need to bring mine and I was in no position to disagree) because it was not prescribed despite me explaining my regular meds.

No pain relief between 02:00 (which I asked for) and almost 10:00 when they dispatched me here.

It's utterly terrifying being 100% utterly dependent on others.

The nurses who were assigned to me were lovely, lovely people. They were insanely over worked and under resourced. E.g. only 1 catheter trolley for a large A&E with 30+ bays.

Anyways, I'm very lucky I don't have pressure sores and await the gauntlet that is ahead of me. "

Yes! What luck that you don't have pressure sores.

I wish I could say that I thought you were exaggerating but from direct experience I know you're not.

I was wondering how you were getting on.

Keep posting so we know how you're getting on

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

A&E cupboard had no kind of phone or G signal and NHS WiFi said no to Fab

I'm going for a scan soon I think.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"A&E cupboard had no kind of phone or G signal and NHS WiFi said no to Fab

I'm going for a scan soon I think."

Woo hoo a trip out!

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By *emorefridaCouple
4 weeks ago

La la land


"A&E cupboard had no kind of phone or G signal and NHS WiFi said no to Fab

I'm going for a scan soon I think."

My works network works on most NHS settings. Know we're in a similar industry Mrs KC so may be worth a shot.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

Went for a scan. THE most horrendous agony being transferred to the scanner. Got forgotten in the corridor and then missed lunch. Had little to eat since arriving (disability issues plus timings). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to address the reasons why I'm in such agony and other unpleasant symptoms too.

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By *issmorganWoman
4 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"Sorry is inadequate but I am.

Why can't you say this out loud? I hope it eases soon. I don't think even the most empathetic person truly understands terrible pain until they've experienced it and how it impacts your entire life.

Because I'm with my daughter and she doesn't need to know what shite is in my head. I can't look after her on my own tomorrow and honestly, I'm distraught. I won't get another opportunity, no leave left other than what's already booked for Christmas.

Ah I understand. No you can't lay your stuff on your kids.

You know it's ok to get signed off work don't you. You don't have to be strong all the time and as much as you're valuable in your role they can and will cope without you. Sometimes it's ok to take time out. "

Wise words as usual from Mrs N.

I hope the pain and discomfort eases soon, I do sympathise as my other half has a debilitating long term health issue too.

Take care x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Went for a scan. THE most horrendous agony being transferred to the scanner. Got forgotten in the corridor and then missed lunch. Had little to eat since arriving (disability issues plus timings). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to address the reasons why I'm in such agony and other unpleasant symptoms too. "

FFS! Is there a HCA about who could get you something to eat? Are you at least getting water?

You think you've got it bad spare a thought for me, I burnt half a batch of chocolate chip shortbread this morning but we've bravely soldiered on and eaten one burnt one ok one.

Good thoughts are coming your way. If I was near I'd nip in with supplies and burnt shortbread.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Went for a scan. THE most horrendous agony being transferred to the scanner. Got forgotten in the corridor and then missed lunch. Had little to eat since arriving (disability issues plus timings). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to address the reasons why I'm in such agony and other unpleasant symptoms too.

FFS! Is there a HCA about who could get you something to eat? Are you at least getting water?

You think you've got it bad spare a thought for me, I burnt half a batch of chocolate chip shortbread this morning but we've bravely soldiered on and eaten one burnt one ok one.

Good thoughts are coming your way. If I was near I'd nip in with supplies and burnt shortbread. "

They brought me a kind of splodged veg thing but it was a thick paste consistency and it got stuck. I had a mashed up banana. All the soups have cream added but I'm lactose intolerant and really could do without GI issues from eating dairy.

They're weirded out by the swallowing so now I have to talk to someone about it.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I might be able to purée burnt shortbread

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I might be able to purée burnt shortbread "

I think we could make an almond milk shake with it 🤔

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Went for a scan. THE most horrendous agony being transferred to the scanner. Got forgotten in the corridor and then missed lunch. Had little to eat since arriving (disability issues plus timings). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to address the reasons why I'm in such agony and other unpleasant symptoms too.

FFS! Is there a HCA about who could get you something to eat? Are you at least getting water?

You think you've got it bad spare a thought for me, I burnt half a batch of chocolate chip shortbread this morning but we've bravely soldiered on and eaten one burnt one ok one.

Good thoughts are coming your way. If I was near I'd nip in with supplies and burnt shortbread.

They brought me a kind of splodged veg thing but it was a thick paste consistency and it got stuck. I had a mashed up banana. All the soups have cream added but I'm lactose intolerant and really could do without GI issues from eating dairy.

They're weirded out by the swallowing so now I have to talk to someone about it. "

What about those liquid food things? They gave them to mum in hospital, I can't remember what they're called

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I might be able to purée burnt shortbread

I think we could make an almond milk shake with it 🤔"

In

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I might be able to purée burnt shortbread

I think we could make an almond milk shake with it 🤔

In "

Firing up the moped...

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Went for a scan. THE most horrendous agony being transferred to the scanner. Got forgotten in the corridor and then missed lunch. Had little to eat since arriving (disability issues plus timings). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to address the reasons why I'm in such agony and other unpleasant symptoms too.

FFS! Is there a HCA about who could get you something to eat? Are you at least getting water?

You think you've got it bad spare a thought for me, I burnt half a batch of chocolate chip shortbread this morning but we've bravely soldiered on and eaten one burnt one ok one.

Good thoughts are coming your way. If I was near I'd nip in with supplies and burnt shortbread.

They brought me a kind of splodged veg thing but it was a thick paste consistency and it got stuck. I had a mashed up banana. All the soups have cream added but I'm lactose intolerant and really could do without GI issues from eating dairy.

They're weirded out by the swallowing so now I have to talk to someone about it.

What about those liquid food things? They gave them to mum in hospital, I can't remember what they're called "

Ensure? Dairy, I think Anyways, I'll speak to the specialist. Our house is too far by several buses for regular delivery of homemade stuff and they won't heat up brought in food here.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I might be able to purée burnt shortbread

I think we could make an almond milk shake with it 🤔

In

Firing up the moped..."

I'll send the address

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^ I don't know but I wouldn't be surprised if they are dairy.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
4 weeks ago

Kidsgrove

Ensures are protein based not dairy, there are also clear fruity ensures. Lactose and gluten free.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Ensures are protein based not dairy, there are also clear fruity ensures. Lactose and gluten free."

Thank you. I have to speak to this specialist person before they'll issue stuff like that cos they're prescribed. And I'm not mobile to nick one from "Mabel" in the bed opposite.

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By *olinOfBathMan
4 weeks ago

Corsham


"Went for a scan. THE most horrendous agony being transferred to the scanner. Got forgotten in the corridor and then missed lunch. Had little to eat since arriving (disability issues plus timings). I'm thoroughly enjoying trying to address the reasons why I'm in such agony and other unpleasant symptoms too.

FFS! Is there a HCA about who could get you something to eat? Are you at least getting water?

You think you've got it bad spare a thought for me, I burnt half a batch of chocolate chip shortbread this morning but we've bravely soldiered on and eaten one burnt one ok one.

Good thoughts are coming your way. If I was near I'd nip in with supplies and burnt shortbread.

They brought me a kind of splodged veg thing but it was a thick paste consistency and it got stuck. I had a mashed up banana. All the soups have cream added but I'm lactose intolerant and really could do without GI issues from eating dairy.

They're weirded out by the swallowing so now I have to talk to someone about it.

What about those liquid food things? They gave them to mum in hospital, I can't remember what they're called "

They typically use Fortisip - but I'm not sure that these are appropriate with lactose-intolerance.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

The woman opposite had a pot of ice cream at lunch. I can still see it. Unfair

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"The woman opposite had a pot of ice cream at lunch. I can still see it. Unfair "

👺

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

THEY'VE OFFERED ME A TOOTHBRUSH!

Hurrah

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"THEY'VE OFFERED ME A TOOTHBRUSH!

Hurrah "

You're cured. Back to work with you!

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"THEY'VE OFFERED ME A TOOTHBRUSH!

Hurrah

You're cured. Back to work with you!"

I feel more human now I cleaned my teeth tbh. As much as one can when you're peeing into a bag

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"THEY'VE OFFERED ME A TOOTHBRUSH!

Hurrah

You're cured. Back to work with you!

I feel more human now I cleaned my teeth tbh. As much as one can when you're peeing into a bag "

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Covent Garden

KC² you are a calamitous creature of habit 🙂 and I feel for you. Sending much love and wishing you a speedy recovery! ❤️

#VirtualGetWellSoonCard

#IhateHashTags

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"KC² you are a calamitous creature of habit 🙂 and I feel for you. Sending much love and wishing you a speedy recovery! ❤️

#VirtualGetWellSoonCard

#IhateHashTags"

#IFeelLoved

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I just had visitors. They brought soup. Good job, because what the kitchen said they'd send for tea did not materialise

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
4 weeks ago

your head


"I just had visitors. They brought soup. Good job, because what the kitchen said they'd send for tea did not materialise "

Are they just forgetting about feeding you? At least you have food now.

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By *ear in the chairMan
4 weeks ago

yeah there

Rant, 2 cars to 0 cars (working) in 24hrs. Getting a bit tricky living in the relative middle of nowhere

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I've just caught up, ffs Mrs KC I actually think you were better off at home 🙈🙉🙊

Just wondering aloud, but can you get uber eats deliveries to wards??

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I just had visitors. They brought soup. Good job, because what the kitchen said they'd send for tea did not materialise

Are they just forgetting about feeding you? At least you have food now. "

They seem incapable of understanding what was discussed food wise this afternoon. I can't swallow stodgy carbs so they sent a plate of everything mixed in with over boiled rice but then apparently there was none of the veg sauce left to be provided separately. Which was agreed and requested earlier.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

I won't starve. I'm quite plump. And Mr KC brought some soup.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

Left hand and right hand. Are not coordinated.

Second night on the bounce that essential daily repeat medication I've taken since I was 15 has not been prescribed and the nurse cannot give. Yet, we were also explicitly told Mr KC did not need to bring meds from home.

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By *iddlesticksMan
4 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.

I hope you get sorted soon, I really admire how you keep going. X

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I hope you get sorted soon, I really admire how you keep going. X"

I feel like I'm falling apart. Very literally, I AM falling apart.

I don't have any other choice than to plod on.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
4 weeks ago

North West

I've just caught up with this thread. You have my WhatsApp. Let me know if I can bring things tomorrow. Please.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wirral.

Ah, KC! Are you back in hospital again?! You poor thing.

I wish I could cure you😥

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By *imi_RougeWoman
4 weeks ago

Portsmouth

Sending some love 💞

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"I've just caught up with this thread. You have my WhatsApp. Let me know if I can bring things tomorrow. Please. "

I did the WhatsApp with you 😘

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Ah, KC! Are you back in hospital again?! You poor thing.

I wish I could cure you😥"

Yeeeeees. Stupid pain and joints and who knows what. I just took diazepam so let's see what that does

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Sending some love 💞"

Thank you

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

Some of the best quotes ever are coming from this place.

"No, I don't smoke. I don't drink. And I don't have sex either?"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Some of the best quotes ever are coming from this place.

"No, I don't smoke. I don't drink. And I don't have sex either?"

"

Keep a note for the novel you'll eventually write

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By *nnCeeWoman
4 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

Oh, Mrs KC.

I've just read the thread.

I wish I were closer so I could bring you the food and the drugs and the love.

All the support I have I am sending via the interwebs, and putting all my bestest wishes out into the universe for you xx

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards

I haven't shouted into the void this week.

But I did yodel into a dead pig's anus.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
4 weeks ago

Markfield

Sending all the good feels x

I’ll shout into the abyss for myself quietly shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
4 weeks ago

North West

Mrs KC has been moved to another ward where there is no mobile internet. 😔 Which is bobbins as this is a nice place to post when you feel isolated. I did do my best to send her to sleep earlier but I wasn't quite boring enough. They've still not got to the bottom of things. 😢

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Mrs KC has been moved to another ward where there is no mobile internet. 😔 Which is bobbins as this is a nice place to post when you feel isolated. I did do my best to send her to sleep earlier but I wasn't quite boring enough. They've still not got to the bottom of things. 😢"

Thanks for the update. Send her our best please 😊

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Covent Garden


"Mrs KC has been moved to another ward where there is no mobile internet. 😔 Which is bobbins as this is a nice place to post when you feel isolated. I did do my best to send her to sleep earlier but I wasn't quite boring enough. They've still not got to the bottom of things. 😢"

·

❤️

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
4 weeks ago

Reading

If i were your daughter I would be happier for you to take it easy and not be in pain for my sake. Enjoying your company will be enough.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
4 weeks ago

Markfield

Thanks for the update x sending all the good wishes thru the ether x

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

KC sending love 😘😘😘😘😘

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By *imi_RougeWoman
4 weeks ago

Portsmouth


"Mrs KC has been moved to another ward where there is no mobile internet. 😔 Which is bobbins as this is a nice place to post when you feel isolated. I did do my best to send her to sleep earlier but I wasn't quite boring enough. They've still not got to the bottom of things. 😢"

Please let her know she's in our thoughts ❤️

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West

If this works, I've acquired 1 bar of 3G signal! I'm in a large urban hospital

I feel like a giant turd right now. I have no choice but to rest, I kinda have no choice.

Of course, docs don't like the "I can't get out of bed" bit. Not because it's new, but because presumably, it smacks of not trying hard enough.

Anyways. I'm in a basement with more people with dementia who broke things in falls, mainly. One lady is so distressed that it's upsetting to witness tbh. And I'm pretty unflappable and know a bit about dealing with dementia sufferers.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
4 weeks ago

your head


"If this works, I've acquired 1 bar of 3G signal! I'm in a large urban hospital

I feel like a giant turd right now. I have no choice but to rest, I kinda have no choice.

Of course, docs don't like the "I can't get out of bed" bit. Not because it's new, but because presumably, it smacks of not trying hard enough.

Anyways. I'm in a basement with more people with dementia who broke things in falls, mainly. One lady is so distressed that it's upsetting to witness tbh. And I'm pretty unflappable and know a bit about dealing with dementia sufferers. "

❤️ sending lots of gentle hugs. Have you been given food today?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Good to hear from you although I wish it was under better circumstances.

Are you getting fed?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Good to hear from you although I wish it was under better circumstances.

Are you getting fed?"

I've been fed by Julie and Mr KC but felt so grim this evening that I could stomach my lovely homemade soup

I have soya stuff and smoothies and bananas and some chocolate to suck, assuming I don't feel like puking. Maybe it's the different pain meds causing the nausea?

Right now, I really do feel like I've been hit for six.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago


"If this works, I've acquired 1 bar of 3G signal! I'm in a large urban hospital

I feel like a giant turd right now. I have no choice but to rest, I kinda have no choice.

Of course, docs don't like the "I can't get out of bed" bit. Not because it's new, but because presumably, it smacks of not trying hard enough.

Anyways. I'm in a basement with more people with dementia who broke things in falls, mainly. One lady is so distressed that it's upsetting to witness tbh. And I'm pretty unflappable and know a bit about dealing with dementia sufferers. "

She's alive 😍😍

Flipping heck - ear plugs to try and disconnect your brain??

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"If this works, I've acquired 1 bar of 3G signal! I'm in a large urban hospital

I feel like a giant turd right now. I have no choice but to rest, I kinda have no choice.

Of course, docs don't like the "I can't get out of bed" bit. Not because it's new, but because presumably, it smacks of not trying hard enough.

Anyways. I'm in a basement with more people with dementia who broke things in falls, mainly. One lady is so distressed that it's upsetting to witness tbh. And I'm pretty unflappable and know a bit about dealing with dementia sufferers.

She's alive 😍😍

Flipping heck - ear plugs to try and disconnect your brain?? "

I have earphones on a wire. Honestly, you'd need industrial strength noise cancelling ones to drown out all the hullabaloo. We could hear a guy in another bay down the corridor literally screaming like he was being murdered

Mainly I'm learning never to allow my Dad to be in hospital alone, from this experience.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex


"If this works, I've acquired 1 bar of 3G signal! I'm in a large urban hospital

I feel like a giant turd right now. I have no choice but to rest, I kinda have no choice.

Of course, docs don't like the "I can't get out of bed" bit. Not because it's new, but because presumably, it smacks of not trying hard enough.

Anyways. I'm in a basement with more people with dementia who broke things in falls, mainly. One lady is so distressed that it's upsetting to witness tbh. And I'm pretty unflappable and know a bit about dealing with dementia sufferers.

She's alive 😍😍

Flipping heck - ear plugs to try and disconnect your brain??

I have earphones on a wire. Honestly, you'd need industrial strength noise cancelling ones to drown out all the hullabaloo. We could hear a guy in another bay down the corridor literally screaming like he was being murdered

Mainly I'm learning never to allow my Dad to be in hospital alone, from this experience. "

Yep. I learned years ago never to allow my mum to be in hospital alone. In fact I'd try not to leave anyone alone in hospital if I could help it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

14 years ago when I was set in hospital we were kept up all night because a woman had her boyfriend in the ward talking and laughing. The nurses said they were allowed to ask him to leave. 🤷

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

4 weeks ago

East Sussex

Are you more comfortable now though?

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wirral.

Ah, sweetie 🥰

Sending you hugs and positive thoughts, as its all I can do 😥

Hopefully some of the pain meds will knock you out and they get to the bottom of it on Monday xx

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
4 weeks ago

North West


"Are you more comfortable now though? "

Marginally. If I stay still, it's tolerable but any movement is still extremely ouchy and today, as witnessed by Julie, other challenges arose.

Uncomfortable in another form is that the ward HCA is situated right at the foot of my bed, facing this way, tippy typing away. Is irrationally disconcerting, as I contemplate sleep. Weird, cos most of the staff have seen my bum and other vital statistics

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By *cottish guy 555Man
3 weeks ago

London

Sending you my very best wishes ❤️

I completely sympathise as I had a very similar hospital stay earlier in the year but shit like this makes me so angry 😠

Never feel bad about telling them what you need. It's their responsibility to take care of you and treat you with respect. Hopefully that rare creature that is a health professional who gets it will come along and be able to help you.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Are you more comfortable now though?

Marginally. If I stay still, it's tolerable but any movement is still extremely ouchy and today, as witnessed by Julie, other challenges arose.

Uncomfortable in another form is that the ward HCA is situated right at the foot of my bed, facing this way, tippy typing away. Is irrationally disconcerting, as I contemplate sleep. Weird, cos most of the staff have seen my bum and other vital statistics "

It's no good being shy in hospital is it. Has anyone shouted "have you had your bowels open?" across the ward to you yet?

My last hospital stay was 14 years ago. I was wheeled in to a mixed ward. The man in the next bed needed the commode. The curtain did nothing to protect me from the noise or the smell or indeed to protect his dignity. 😱🫣🤣

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By *uchasGMan
3 weeks ago

Northwest

You ok my over border neighbour? x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West

It's all my fault.

If I just try harder, I'll be fine.

Obviously nothing is going to change if I just laze about in bed.

I'll feel better if I just get up and walk about (!)

Of course you'll feel ill if you're not eating properly.

What do I expect them to do?

You could just see your GP about that, you know?

You'll become catheter dependent, you just need to use the loo normally

I could go on. They absolutely, totally and utterly do not get it. Not one jot. Julie was here when a young doctor came and took a history and appeared to listen. Absolutely nothing has been done with that information, as far as I can see, it's not been put on my notes and what is on my notes is not accurate (I have told them several times).

Can people understand now why I haven't bothered to get things looked at? Why I just stay at home and try to cope?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex


"It's all my fault.

If I just try harder, I'll be fine.

Obviously nothing is going to change if I just laze about in bed.

I'll feel better if I just get up and walk about (!)

Of course you'll feel ill if you're not eating properly.

What do I expect them to do?

You could just see your GP about that, you know?

You'll become catheter dependent, you just need to use the loo normally

I could go on. They absolutely, totally and utterly do not get it. Not one jot. Julie was here when a young doctor came and took a history and appeared to listen. Absolutely nothing has been done with that information, as far as I can see, it's not been put on my notes and what is on my notes is not accurate (I have told them several times).

Can people understand now why I haven't bothered to get things looked at? Why I just stay at home and try to cope? "

I understand.

I experienced this to a much lesser extent before I had a coflex implant in my spine after being treated by a consultant who believed me.

I don't know what to tell you because if the people who are supposed to be caring for you are basically saying it's your own fault where can you go?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex

Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West

Oh, and aside paracetamol, no other medication (including my regular daily and proper pain stuff) has been given yet this morning. Last taken at about 23:00 last night, so 10hrs without pain meds when you're in severe pain.

The lady in the bed next to me (also young) has missed two days of her routine meds because they don't keep them on the ward and they won't let you take what you bring from home (hers was confiscated and locked in a cupboard). She's experiencing withdrawal effects in addition to the injury she's in for.

It seems two days isn't enough time for the central pharmacy to issue someone's routine meds.

And pain meds appear to be an afterthought.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West


"Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain? "

I can't walk, other than a few paces with aids, on a good day. I have no crutches here. I have one hand still painful from surgery. And I can't bear weight anyway. But I should try harder.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain?

I can't walk, other than a few paces with aids, on a good day. I have no crutches here. I have one hand still painful from surgery. And I can't bear weight anyway. But I should try harder. "

This is awful. Why aren't they believing you?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West


"Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain?

I can't walk, other than a few paces with aids, on a good day. I have no crutches here. I have one hand still painful from surgery. And I can't bear weight anyway. But I should try harder.

This is awful. Why aren't they believing you?"

I don't know.

There's a wonderful conversation at the nurse's station about clairvoyance.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain?

I can't walk, other than a few paces with aids, on a good day. I have no crutches here. I have one hand still painful from surgery. And I can't bear weight anyway. But I should try harder.

This is awful. Why aren't they believing you?

I don't know.

There's a wonderful conversation at the nurse's station about clairvoyance. "

Maybe they should consult one instead of the doctors. 👺

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West


"Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain?

I can't walk, other than a few paces with aids, on a good day. I have no crutches here. I have one hand still painful from surgery. And I can't bear weight anyway. But I should try harder.

This is awful. Why aren't they believing you?

I don't know.

There's a wonderful conversation at the nurse's station about clairvoyance.

Maybe they should consult one instead of the doctors. 👺"

Now a chicken and chips meal order is being planned.

In the defence of the nurse in my area, she is not discussing clairvoyance or chicken & chips AND they finally brought the pain meds. Nearly 3hrs after the start of the morning shift.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
3 weeks ago

Southampton


"Also how can you eat properly if you can't swallow or walk if you're in excruciating pain?

I can't walk, other than a few paces with aids, on a good day. I have no crutches here. I have one hand still painful from surgery. And I can't bear weight anyway. But I should try harder.

This is awful. Why aren't they believing you?

I don't know.

There's a wonderful conversation at the nurse's station about clairvoyance.

Maybe they should consult one instead of the doctors. 👺

Now a chicken and chips meal order is being planned.

In the defence of the nurse in my area, she is not discussing clairvoyance or chicken & chips AND they finally brought the pain meds. Nearly 3hrs after the start of the morning shift. "

Oh lovely I'm so sorry... I wish there was something I could do xx

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
3 weeks ago

Newcastle

So frustrating 😣 I’m so sorry you’re going through this, MrsKC. Does contacting PALS do anything? The standard of care can be shockingly poor. It will be so exhausting to feel like you aren’t being listened to or your concerns aren’t being addressed. I remember when my Dad had surgery on his back (and he had to lie completely flat) and he was given soup for lunch 😒

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^

My mum broke her back some 15 years ago. She was on a special bed, laying completely flat. They put fish and chips on a tray by her head. 🤷‍♀️. I arrived to find her trying to reach them and esting with her fingers. When she was in a and e in that thing that keeps you immobile I asked and asked for help because she was wet and cold. Nobody was available but when the woman in the next bay shouted her mouth off about needing a cigarette someone was available to take her outside to smoke.

I've seen excellent care from very hard working staff at all levels in medicine but also terrible neglect.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
3 weeks ago

Newcastle


"^^

My mum broke her back some 15 years ago. She was on a special bed, laying completely flat. They put fish and chips on a tray by her head. 🤷‍♀️. I arrived to find her trying to reach them and esting with her fingers. When she was in a and e in that thing that keeps you immobile I asked and asked for help because she was wet and cold. Nobody was available but when the woman in the next bay shouted her mouth off about needing a cigarette someone was available to take her outside to smoke.

I've seen excellent care from very hard working staff at all levels in medicine but also terrible neglect. "

Agree. The standards can vary so much and I don’t doubt that some healthcare staff offer excellent care, but things should never be as bad as they are in some cases... Surely the bare minimum should be maintaining a patients dignity, pain management and nutritional needs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex


"^^

My mum broke her back some 15 years ago. She was on a special bed, laying completely flat. They put fish and chips on a tray by her head. 🤷‍♀️. I arrived to find her trying to reach them and esting with her fingers. When she was in a and e in that thing that keeps you immobile I asked and asked for help because she was wet and cold. Nobody was available but when the woman in the next bay shouted her mouth off about needing a cigarette someone was available to take her outside to smoke.

I've seen excellent care from very hard working staff at all levels in medicine but also terrible neglect.

Agree. The standards can vary so much and I don’t doubt that some healthcare staff offer excellent care, but things should never be as bad as they are in some cases... Surely the bare minimum should be maintaining a patients dignity, pain management and nutritional needs "

I agree. That would require at least double the staffing levels.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
3 weeks ago

London

I experienced something similar regarding the confiscation of regular medication during a hospital stay many years ago.

The most recent visit I didn't make myself popular when I refused to let it happen again. I even caught someone trying to pinch it and administer a test that was unnecessary.

Contact the news. I'm sure that the hospital wouldn't welcome the negative publicity.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
3 weeks ago

North West


"It's all my fault.

If I just try harder, I'll be fine.

Obviously nothing is going to change if I just laze about in bed.

I'll feel better if I just get up and walk about (!)

Of course you'll feel ill if you're not eating properly.

What do I expect them to do?

You could just see your GP about that, you know?

You'll become catheter dependent, you just need to use the loo normally

I could go on. They absolutely, totally and utterly do not get it. Not one jot. Julie was here when a young doctor came and took a history and appeared to listen. Absolutely nothing has been done with that information, as far as I can see, it's not been put on my notes and what is on my notes is not accurate (I have told them several times).

Can people understand now why I haven't bothered to get things looked at? Why I just stay at home and try to cope? "

Aaargh! Did anyone from Urology actually come and talk to you?

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West


"It's all my fault.

If I just try harder, I'll be fine.

Obviously nothing is going to change if I just laze about in bed.

I'll feel better if I just get up and walk about (!)

Of course you'll feel ill if you're not eating properly.

What do I expect them to do?

You could just see your GP about that, you know?

You'll become catheter dependent, you just need to use the loo normally

I could go on. They absolutely, totally and utterly do not get it. Not one jot. Julie was here when a young doctor came and took a history and appeared to listen. Absolutely nothing has been done with that information, as far as I can see, it's not been put on my notes and what is on my notes is not accurate (I have told them several times).

Can people understand now why I haven't bothered to get things looked at? Why I just stay at home and try to cope?

Aaargh! Did anyone from Urology actually come and talk to you? "

Nope. I have been told urology wouldn't be available over the weekend, they're a Monday to Friday outfit. Defo need to speak to them after today's excitement

This is my first 3G signal for most of the day. It's a bloody bunker, this place

I had soup from home earlier. And I'm now the proud owner of a stash of cup soups, soya yoghurts, smoothies, bananas and green tea bags

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
3 weeks ago

Wirral.

Ah, KC. This is just bloody awful. And totally unacceptable. I'm aware that not all nurses are the angels they're purported to be, but rarely do you get them all on the same ward!

This can't go on. I'm tending to agree with the person above who mentioned going to the press. It's ridiculous that we're even considering this, but you're all out of options. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you xx

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West

I got signal again

No progress today. Lots of questions from medical types but no answers. I won't even start on the infection control car crash relating to a hospital acquired infection on the ward.

I lost the last vestiges of my dignity in the toilet earlier. I'm all out of it now

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
3 weeks ago

Southampton


"I got signal again

No progress today. Lots of questions from medical types but no answers. I won't even start on the infection control car crash relating to a hospital acquired infection on the ward.

I lost the last vestiges of my dignity in the toilet earlier. I'm all out of it now "

I'm so sorry you're going through all this lovely x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West

If nothing else, this is an interesting sociological study. Someone tell Pickle

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
3 weeks ago

North West


"I got signal again

No progress today. Lots of questions from medical types but no answers. I won't even start on the infection control car crash relating to a hospital acquired infection on the ward.

I lost the last vestiges of my dignity in the toilet earlier. I'm all out of it now "

Oh KC, at least they're asking questions. Hopefully they might even listen to your replies. 🤔😏

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

3 weeks ago

East Sussex


"I got signal again

No progress today. Lots of questions from medical types but no answers. I won't even start on the infection control car crash relating to a hospital acquired infection on the ward.

I lost the last vestiges of my dignity in the toilet earlier. I'm all out of it now "

You haven't lost your dignity Mrs it's only your body

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West


"I got signal again

No progress today. Lots of questions from medical types but no answers. I won't even start on the infection control car crash relating to a hospital acquired infection on the ward.

I lost the last vestiges of my dignity in the toilet earlier. I'm all out of it now

Oh KC, at least they're asking questions. Hopefully they might even listen to your replies. 🤔😏"

The physio got it. She understood. How well it will translate beyond that, I don't know.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
3 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

You, my lovely, are the epitome of dignity. Thinking of you x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
3 weeks ago

North West


"You, my lovely, are the epitome of dignity. Thinking of you x"

Not with my arse hanging out and a catheter dangling

Thank you ❤️😘

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
3 weeks ago

St Leonards

The tone and pace of your written word has changed.

It was, originally, desperate, frenetic, lost, terrified, and out of control.

It's now informative and darkly humorous.

I hope you find a way for the physical issues you have to be better understood and managed, by all parties, in the near future.

That's very much accompanied by a hope that you have better tools for the emotional and mental side of coping with this.

Good luck Mrs KC,

Nick xxxx

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By *cottish guy 555Man
3 weeks ago

London


"I got signal again

No progress today. Lots of questions from medical types but no answers. I won't even start on the infection control car crash relating to a hospital acquired infection on the ward.

I lost the last vestiges of my dignity in the toilet earlier. I'm all out of it now

Oh KC, at least they're asking questions. Hopefully they might even listen to your replies. 🤔😏

The physio got it. She understood. How well it will translate beyond that, I don't know. "

It has to start with at least one health professional getting it. Hopefully they will advocate on your behalf and help others to see.

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