FabSwingers.com forum: Our little darlings…

By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

… my god they can be really annoying, can’t they?

Whats the most annoying thing your child has done this half term (already)?

Mine decided to do some painting on the kitchen table yesterday, but didn’t want to waste any paper so they made sure they painted both sides…

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
11 weeks ago

Southampton

Ahh very thoughtful of them not to waste paper 🤣

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
11 weeks ago

St Leonards

"… my god they can be really annoying, can’t they?

Whats the most annoying thing your child has done this half term (already)?

Mine decided to do some painting on the kitchen table yesterday, but didn’t want to waste any paper so they made sure they painted both sides… "

It is impossibly cute as well though

In 20 or 30 years, these are the memories that make you smile the most

Little buggers!

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By *ell GwynnWoman
11 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Mine are big darlings.

So far...

- Not showering for 2 days

- Putting the urine everywhere except in the toilet

- Wanting money for food even though we have plenty to eat in the house already

I miss the paint on the table days...

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By *iss.BellaWoman
11 weeks ago

Wales

Half term? Mine hasn't started school yet 😬😂

She's only 2 but at the minute she seems to enjoy tipong her drink on the floor and shouting "oh no, mess!". I can clearly see that you little bugger

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By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

"Half term? Mine hasn't started school yet 😬😂

She's only 2 but at the minute she seems to enjoy tipong her drink on the floor and shouting "oh no, mess!". I can clearly see that you little bugger

That doesn’t stop.

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By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

"… my god they can be really annoying, can’t they?

Whats the most annoying thing your child has done this half term (already)?

Mine decided to do some painting on the kitchen table yesterday, but didn’t want to waste any paper so they made sure they painted both sides…

It is impossibly cute as well though

In 20 or 30 years, these are the memories that make you smile the most

Little buggers!"

Gimme the 20-30 years time!!

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By *iss.BellaWoman
11 weeks ago

Wales

"Half term? Mine hasn't started school yet 😬😂

She's only 2 but at the minute she seems to enjoy tipong her drink on the floor and shouting "oh no, mess!". I can clearly see that you little bugger

Oh and colouring everything but paper with the almost permanent markers my mum bought her.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
11 weeks ago

St Leonards

"… my god they can be really annoying, can’t they?

Whats the most annoying thing your child has done this half term (already)?

Mine decided to do some painting on the kitchen table yesterday, but didn’t want to waste any paper so they made sure they painted both sides…

It is impossibly cute as well though

In 20 or 30 years, these are the memories that make you smile the most

Little buggers!

Gimme the 20-30 years time!! "

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By *iss.BellaWoman
11 weeks ago

Wales

"Half term? Mine hasn't started school yet 😬😂

She's only 2 but at the minute she seems to enjoy tipong her drink on the floor and shouting "oh no, mess!". I can clearly see that you little bugger

That doesn’t stop. "

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By *haiababeWoman
11 weeks ago

North devon

Well so far mine has thrown a tantrum on friday night cos she didnt want to go to her dads. One while she was there demanding to be picked up and one last night cos she didnt want to come home. Each time upsetting her brothers and often setting them off as well.

God knows what the rest of the week will bring. For the next couple of days at least i can bribe her into behaving by threating to take away trick or treating.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

Ummmm. Nothing. Nothing at all.

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By *sWyldWoman
11 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Mine are fairly grown up now and one of them has a girlfriend I don't like. In fact has had a string of really awful ones.

My eldest makes me

this several times a week despite living 300 miles away and my youngest, actually he's really quite good!

I don't miss toddler or young child stage

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By *viatrixWoman
11 weeks ago

Redhill

While I was away in Manchester, little Miss (12) decided she would dye her hair electric blue. Somehow she managed to get her hands on a pot of Manic Panic- I always wanted one in the 90s.

She locked herself in the bathroom for the procedure and the sink, floor, bath- they are all stained completely blue. And it is not coming off. AND IT IS A RENTED HOUSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

She herself is a smurf. Blue neck, hairline, upper back. And jet black hair of course, the dye never clung on… if anything it looks a bit greenish 😂😂😂😂😂 omg. I am laughing now…

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

My 6 year old managed to break her entire thumb top to bottom in PE last week falling on safety mats awkwardly.

So, she keeps asking me to take her to all the places she knows full well she's not allowed to go too, like swimming/trampolining/soft play and the park.

And my eldest two just keep emptying the fridge every time I refill it.

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By *afkaMan
11 weeks ago

Nottingham (ish)

The ones that are still at home are just doing the standard boring teenaged stuff like lurking in their bedrooms except for food and showers, moaning about having no money but refusing to do anything to earn some and monosyllabic muttering instead of eloquent conversation.

They're just decidedly dull at this age

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By *enk15Man
11 weeks ago

Evesham

Mine are home schooled so it's half-term all the time.

Every. Day. Of. The. Week

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By *a LunaWoman
11 weeks ago

South Wales

My eldest (14) is at that age where if he’s not out with his friends, shouting instructions down his PlayStation then he’s taking the mickey out of me! And…..he’s taller than me!

My youngest (12) I see wandering around the house, phone in hand with a friend on Cam Chat, and he’s showing them what our dogs are up to. Meanwhile he goes past a pile of washing, a rug that needs hoovering (again!) and shows me sprawled on the sofa looking like shite. Makes me cringe everytime I see that phone!! 🫣

And my fridge may as well have a revolving door

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By *viatrixWoman
11 weeks ago

Redhill

"Mine are home schooled so it's half-term all the time.

Every. Day. Of. The. Week

*Takes my hat off* I could never…

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By *ea monkeyMan
11 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

Eating. Just eating. Always.

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
11 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"My 6 year old managed to break her entire thumb top to bottom in PE last week falling on safety mats awkwardly.

So, she keeps asking me to take her to all the places she knows full well she's not allowed to go too, like swimming/trampolining/soft play and the park.

And my eldest two just keep emptying the fridge every time I refill it.

Enjoy half term 😂

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By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

You think, you always think the stage of parenting you’re in is the worst bit of parenting? Looking at teenage owners… it doesn’t seem to get much better! 😉😂😂

Is there a sweet spot? I’d probably say freshly popped out babies are the easiest!

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

Mine asked me to drive him to Camden in London so he could see a band perform. Then informed me he didn't have any money and then told me that they were a support act of which there were many. I drove to north London. Paid for the tube to Camden. Paid for a drink in the pub for him and his girlfriend then had to wait 4 hours for the gig to finish before driving home at 1am.

Cost me around £60 and he only spent £25 on the ticket for the gig. I ended up sitting in a restaurant for 2 hours at a table for 1 like Billy no mates

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By *educing_EmCouple
11 weeks ago

Tipperary

I have one at home all the time because he's only 2 but the 12 year old is off this week.

I've found out the 2 year old can now open the fridge because he got two yoghurts and painted the front and back of his bedroom door with them.

He poured out a bottle of toner around my bedroom carpet and then your standard spilling everything on purpose, throwing food, climbing on worktops trying give me a stroke.

Fun times in our house.

My 12 year old is so good, I don't know what happened with the second one😭🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"My 6 year old managed to break her entire thumb top to bottom in PE last week falling on safety mats awkwardly.

So, she keeps asking me to take her to all the places she knows full well she's not allowed to go too, like swimming/trampolining/soft play and the park.

And my eldest two just keep emptying the fridge every time I refill it.

Enjoy half term 😂"

I'd be quiet if I were you or I'll send Mini Boo to your house 🤣🤣🤣

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By *electableicecreamMan
11 weeks ago

The West

My 15yr Autistic Trans Fen Non Binary Demi Boy son is cool as fuck. We hang out all the time watching series, going to the cinema and driving cross country to find the perfect cream bun

My 7 year old ADHD boy never stops talking. Ever. Kill me.

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By *punk n gushCouple
11 weeks ago

deal

"Half term? Mine hasn't started school yet 😬😂

She's only 2 but at the minute she seems to enjoy tipong her drink on the floor and shouting "oh no, mess!". I can clearly see that you

little bugger

Oh dear we know that one but ours are alot older Sunday morning got up to the small of vodka and whiskey all over the carpet

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

When I was in my late teens I'd have these silent agreements with my brother.

If I ended up stranded somewhere stupidly with no money, he'd come and pick me up.

He also got a motorbike and managed to hide it and I didn't mention it either.

I guess it's a mum & dad's job to worry.

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By *ildTimes.Man
11 weeks ago

Colchester/London

My 12 yr old tried to shave a line in his eyebrow but somehow shaved half the entire eyebrow off 🤦🏻‍♂️

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Gosh! Seems we were lucky.

We never found our daughter annoying. She made her share of mistakes and had misunderstandings as a child, but we always considered that normal and understandable. As a teen she pushed boundaries, but that's normal too, and how we learn who we are and where we fit. She always had an overdeveloped work ethic (we'd suggest occasionally not working so hard, or not stressing too much about homework). She got a scholarship to a good school, and got into a top university. Now in her early 20s, she's a lovely young woman with a great uni career behind her, who is stressing about getting the right job, even though I've said she can take her time and stay at home as long as she likes.

I suppose if we'd had a second child (alas, it never happened), things might be different.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

"My 6 year old managed to break her entire thumb top to bottom in PE last week falling on safety mats awkwardly.

So, she keeps asking me to take her to all the places she knows full well she's not allowed to go too, like swimming/trampolining/soft play and the park.

And my eldest two just keep emptying the fridge every time I refill it.

We had the broken finger thing throughout the first month of the summer hols. She broke it in the playground, falling over, two weeks before the summer hols started. She was SO pissed off at not being able to go on the climbing frames and trampolines and she missed birthday parties at adventure places. Poor kid

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
11 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"My 6 year old managed to break her entire thumb top to bottom in PE last week falling on safety mats awkwardly.

So, she keeps asking me to take her to all the places she knows full well she's not allowed to go too, like swimming/trampolining/soft play and the park.

And my eldest two just keep emptying the fridge every time I refill it.

Enjoy half term 😂

I'd be quiet if I were you or I'll send Mini Boo to your house 🤣🤣🤣"

And Potato?? We'd have a right laugh 😆

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By *TMycockMan
11 weeks ago

Watford

Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

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By *nya NeesWoman
11 weeks ago

Brum

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes"

What a vile turn of phrase 🤢

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By *ir tootMan
11 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

What a vile turn of phrase 🤢"

Reminds me of that girl who told me to breed her on Saturday...

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By *nya NeesWoman
11 weeks ago

Brum

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

What a vile turn of phrase 🤢

Reminds me of that girl who told me to breed her on Saturday..."

It's not that part Toots but yeah

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By *TMycockMan
11 weeks ago

Watford

For which I make absolutely no apology, horrible little sprogs, out of control, getting in everyone's way. And they needn't come around with their grasping little mits expectantly thrust out on Thursday evening just because they've got a pointy black hat on

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By *ir tootMan
11 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

What a vile turn of phrase 🤢

Reminds me of that girl who told me to breed her on Saturday...

It's not that part Toots but yeah "

Ohh sorry I see it now, that's err pretty yeah its vile.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
11 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"For which I make absolutely no apology, horrible little sprogs, out of control, getting in everyone's way. And they needn't come around with their grasping little mits expectantly thrust out on Thursday evening just because they've got a pointy black hat on"

If you were on my street mine would be coming nowhere near your house!!

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By *iscotti32Woman
11 weeks ago

choomah island

I think I probably speak for most people but THANK GOD you didn’t breed if that’s your thoughts. You know you once were one right?

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By *ularliWoman
11 weeks ago

Worcester

My daughter is grown up and has her own baby now. I had my little granddaughter over night on Saturday and was expecting no sleep as she’s teething but she was an angel and slept all night.

I don’t think mum and dad were to pleased to hear she’d been wonderful for nanny lol.

I can’t wait until she’s bigger and I can do stuff with her as they soon grow up.

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By *usurrusCouple
11 weeks ago

North West.

The most annoying thing is that he still hasn't moved out!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Don't put out any pumpkins or decorations, and they'll almost certainly leave you alone.

🎃🧛🏼‍♀️🎃

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By *iscotti32Woman
11 weeks ago

choomah island

Mine is generally well behaved, but hasn’t quite grasped how to stop talking 24/7 and asking for snacks every 5 minutes. Makes working from home difficult but I do miss her when she’s back at school

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By *enk15Man
11 weeks ago

Evesham

"The most annoying thing is that he still hasn't moved out!

I feel your pain!

But everyone keeps telling me:

"You are being unreasonable"

"He can't live on his own, he won't survive"

"He's only 8 years old!"

They're so negative.

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By *nya NeesWoman
11 weeks ago

Brum

"The most annoying thing is that he still hasn't moved out!

I feel your pain!

But everyone keeps telling me:

"You are being unreasonable"

"He can't live on his own, he won't survive"

"He's only 8 years old!"

They're so negative."

😂😂😂

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By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes"

Yes, thank fully you didn’t have kids… what a horrible way to put it.

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By *ittleBoPeepingWoman
11 weeks ago

Galway, Clare

Why would you even comment on a thread about kids if you clearly despise them???

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By *ir tootMan
11 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

Why would you even comment on a thread about kids if you clearly despise them???

With such hatred too.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes"

I really hope your dad only slipped up once and wiped all your siblings on the curtains.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
11 weeks ago

Leeds

My little one keeps pretending to be a cat, constantly meowing and then you get the surprise lick on the face 🤮

It's not fun.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

You should be reminded that you were one of those nasty little brats once, the rest of us grew out of it with age. You clearly haven't yet.

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By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

Why would you even comment on a thread about kids if you clearly despise them???

Because this is what people without kids do, judge everyone else when they have zero knowledge. Mainly, white privileged males.

Weird that, innit?

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By *ir tootMan
11 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

I really hope your dad only slipped up once and wiped all your siblings on the curtains. "

can I steal that one? 📝

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By *NormalMan01 OP Man
11 weeks ago

Harrogate

"My little one keeps pretending to be a cat, constantly meowing and then you get the surprise lick on the face 🤮

It's not fun.

Mrs "

Oh joy.

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By *ornucopiaMan
11 weeks ago

Bexley

I decided very early on in adult life that having children wasn't going to be a good idea, particularly as I saw more than enough of other people's during my work time.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

I really hope your dad only slipped up once and wiped all your siblings on the curtains.

can I steal that one? 📝 "

Of course, I have plenty more

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By *ir tootMan
11 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"Thankfully, I chose not to breed. Was out & about yesterday to witness several mums trying to keep their bastard brats on their leashes

I really hope your dad only slipped up once and wiped all your siblings on the curtains.

can I steal that one? 📝

Of course, I have plenty more "

Well deserved roasting, and thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"My little one keeps pretending to be a cat, constantly meowing and then you get the surprise lick on the face 🤮

It's not fun.

Mrs "

Just be thankful they don't try to lick clean their own bottom like a cat would, then lick your face! 😳

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
11 weeks ago

Ends

Well this thread took an expected turn.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
11 weeks ago

Ends

[Removed by poster at 29/10/24 17:16:45]

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
11 weeks ago

Ends

Only two days but she’s not annoyed me. She’s made me laugh about a million times though.

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By *iscotti32Woman
11 weeks ago

choomah island

"My little one keeps pretending to be a cat, constantly meowing and then you get the surprise lick on the face 🤮

It's not fun.

Mrs "

Aww I miss the cat stage 😂

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By *929Man
11 weeks ago

bedlington

My son is 17, the other day he texted me calling me a ‘stupid fat prick’ for still being at work in the rain which didn’t affect him in the slightest the little cunt

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By *orphia2003Woman
11 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

Not mine, just part of the tribe I've acquired (12 year old niece, her 12 year old BF and 4 year old sister)

Dyed the bathroom sink, messing about with red nail varnish.

Got a whole tube of BB cream onto a pale carpet.

Spent £20 in the corner shop on 'just things'. They were getting A £1.50 box of eggs

Drew on each other with very expensive SFX make-up.

Had a pillow fight and decorated my entire living room in feathers.

Made confetti balloons, then left them.on the floor where the cat found them. Now bedroom is covered in glitter confetti.

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By *ira2024Woman
11 weeks ago

"While I was away in Manchester, little Miss (12) decided she would dye her hair electric blue. Somehow she managed to get her hands on a pot of Manic Panic- I always wanted one in the 90s.

She locked herself in the bathroom for the procedure and the sink, floor, bath- they are all stained completely blue. And it is not coming off. AND IT IS A RENTED HOUSE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

She herself is a smurf. Blue neck, hairline, upper back. And jet black hair of course, the dye never clung on… if anything it looks a bit greenish 😂😂😂😂😂 omg. I am laughing now… "

Omg! Girls will be girls 🤣

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By *elix SightedMan
11 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"My son is 17, the other day he texted me calling me a ‘stupid fat prick’ for still being at work in the rain which didn’t affect him in the slightest the little cunt "

Awww they’re so cute at that age aren’t they.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
11 weeks ago

your head

Amazing! Mine have just gone back today. First day back was not a fun morning

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By *hesblokeMan
11 weeks ago

Derbyshire village

"… my god they can be really annoying, can’t they?

Whats the most annoying thing your child has done this half term (already)?

Mine decided to do some painting on the kitchen table yesterday, but didn’t want to waste any paper so they made sure they painted both sides… "

Oh bless, you can't be mad at them when their motives are so pure!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

"Only two days but she’s not annoyed me. She’s made me laugh about a million times though. "

Mine has similarly made me giggle this evening. She's pressed all the buttons in the car. A happy child

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By *ackformore100Man
11 weeks ago

Tin town

"… my god they can be really annoying, can’t they?

Whats the most annoying thing your child has done this half term (already)?

Mine decided to do some painting on the kitchen table yesterday, but didn’t want to waste any paper so they made sure they painted both sides… "

Environmentally friendly kids. You should be proud.

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By *elix SightedMan
11 weeks ago

Cloud 8

"Only two days but she’s not annoyed me. She’s made me laugh about a million times though.

Mine has similarly made me giggle this evening. She's pressed all the buttons in the car. A happy child

It’s far too recent to be excusable that I would turn on everything in my mates’ cars when they popped to the cashpoint. Hilarity ensued.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

"Only two days but she’s not annoyed me. She’s made me laugh about a million times though.

Mine has similarly made me giggle this evening. She's pressed all the buttons in the car. A happy child

It’s far too recent to be excusable that I would turn on everything in my mates’ cars when they popped to the cashpoint. Hilarity ensued."

I do wonder what the others in the railway car park thought. But then decided it didn't matter

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By *akedMMan
11 weeks ago

Witney

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

My 7-going-on-16-year-old daughter has started displaying signs of early hormones: the mood swings are wild!

Also, she has taken to hiding the remote control every time she leaves the living room then can't remember where she put it and we spend the next 30 minutes trying to find it 🤬

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By *iss.BellaWoman
11 weeks ago

Wales

Don't worry I'm sure they're well aware where the miserable cunt lives and won't bother

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By *iss.BellaWoman
11 weeks ago

Wales

"Half term? Mine hasn't started school yet 😬😂

She's only 2 but at the minute she seems to enjoy tipong her drink on the floor and shouting "oh no, mess!". I can clearly see that you

little bugger

Oh dear we know that one but ours are alot older Sunday morning got up to the small of vodka and whiskey all over the carpet "

There's no hope is there?

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