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 ) and I realised that I need to be stimulated mentally to enjoy sex as much as others can. It's led me down a path of further discussion and discovery, which has then obviously bled into my activity with fab and swinging.
I often view others with that animalistic ability to turn it on for any form of sex, as something I am envious of, because I just can't. I'm good at sex. Its not an ego thing to be positive about sex. I am, ive been told I am by every partner I've had, but it does take a certain level of connection to get there.
Its often led to a crisis of confidence at times, though. Because I can't fully relax and let go. I need that build up, desire, conversation, physical touch, foreplay etc.
Has anyone else had this battle with themselves in/around the swinging scene?
I love sex. I absolutely utterly love it. My sex drive is through the roof. But it needs to be quality over quantity.
I think the dream when im single is to have a friend with benefits. Someone i can see socially, go out on walks, dates etc. To build that social and deeper connection with, to then enhance the sexual side, without the commitment.
I've seen quite a few people mention fwb on here, but never really heard anyone being successful in finding it. Its mainly gone wrong for one reason or another, or its never materialised.
If you're in the Northwest feel free to message me direct, im always looking for new connections to chat with. I've met a few who have stayed with me in my airbnb too.
I just wondered if anyone else has their own personal experience or views on the themes ive written about?
Im sure there will be some negative replies, but im hoping it sparks a conversation about verious things like connection, fwb, relationships, sex drive and desire, confidence, emotional security, socialising, dating etc.
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"People are much more likely to talk about what they don't like and what is missing. It's not often you see a post about success whether bragging or celebrating. The fwb situation is pretty common in the fab circles I gravitate towards."  | |||
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"People are much more likely to talk about what they don't like and what is missing. It's not often you see a post about success whether bragging or celebrating. The fwb situation is pretty common in the fab circles I gravitate towards." You're probably right to be fair. People only post about looking for, or when they cant find stuff. The others are too busy banging each others brains out haha. | |||
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"I totally see this ..i am the same. It led to an interesting conversation recently about whether i can even class myself as a swinger as i need to feel a connection. Anything less feels mechanical and never fulfilling x " 100% feel this. I've often wondered similar, because it doesnt quite feel natural to me, but also, monogamy doesnt either. Its strange limbo type place to be. | |||
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"People here are definitely successful in finding this scenario. If thus is what you're searching for, it would be worth tweaking your profile to find what you're looking for. Good luck, OP." I took this on board and have changed it. Id been thinking of doing it for a while, but thanks for the push! Thanks! | |||
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"To me and bear in mind my age so my points of reference will probably be different to younger people, what you describe is a relationship. What's different about friends with benefits? " For me, a relationship is about building a partnership, a life etc. What im looking for is mainly a friendship, where you get to enjoy their company outside of sex, which then enhances the sex because you can talk and get to know each other and what they like, but also that there's no commitment to it. It takes the pressure away of thinking could this be a relationship etc. Each person will have their differences in what things they consider and the labels etc. But for me its a sexual friendship im looking for. Eventually I want to build a life with someone, but not right now. Knowing that is valuble in where I am right now. | |||
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"People here are definitely successful in finding this scenario. If thus is what you're searching for, it would be worth tweaking your profile to find what you're looking for. Good luck, OP. I took this on board and have changed it. Id been thinking of doing it for a while, but thanks for the push! Thanks! " You're welcome and I hope you find what you're looking for | |||
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"To me and bear in mind my age so my points of reference will probably be different to younger people, what you describe is a relationship. What's different about friends with benefits? For me, a relationship is about building a partnership, a life etc. What im looking for is mainly a friendship, where you get to enjoy their company outside of sex, which then enhances the sex because you can talk and get to know each other and what they like, but also that there's no commitment to it. It takes the pressure away of thinking could this be a relationship etc. Each person will have their differences in what things they consider and the labels etc. But for me its a sexual friendship im looking for. Eventually I want to build a life with someone, but not right now. Knowing that is valuble in where I am right now." I understand. I guess we all have a different way of describing things | |||
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"I totally see this ..i am the same. It led to an interesting conversation recently about whether i can even class myself as a swinger as i need to feel a connection. Anything less feels mechanical and never fulfilling x 100% feel this. I've often wondered similar, because it doesnt quite feel natural to me, but also, monogamy doesnt either. Its strange limbo type place to be. " It is a strange limbo land of contradiction lol ...nothing worth doing is simple. I have made a few really strong connections on here in the time i have been here ..they raise the bar for others. When it all aligns it is great.x | |||
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"I totally see this ..i am the same. It led to an interesting conversation recently about whether i can even class myself as a swinger as i need to feel a connection. Anything less feels mechanical and never fulfilling x 100% feel this. I've often wondered similar, because it doesnt quite feel natural to me, but also, monogamy doesnt either. Its strange limbo type place to be. It is a strange limbo land of contradiction lol ...nothing worth doing is simple. I have made a few really strong connections on here in the time i have been here ..they raise the bar for others. When it all aligns it is great.x " Haha it absolutely is! Fingers crossed the stars align soon, or at least they vaguely resemble a constellation at some point  | |||
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"I think I’ve just found a FWB. We have our second “naughty” adventure planed with some “nice” things planed for next day. " That sounds ideal! Hope you have an ace time! | |||
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"I totally see this ..i am the same. It led to an interesting conversation recently about whether i can even class myself as a swinger as i need to feel a connection. Anything less feels mechanical and never fulfilling x 100% feel this. I've often wondered similar, because it doesnt quite feel natural to me, but also, monogamy doesnt either. Its strange limbo type place to be. " It doesn't have to be a strange limbo place OP. I realised a long time ago I'm not a swinger. I know I'm not, I'm crap at it. I like a connection, a level of friendship. I don't meet many people at all. At the same time that doesn't mean I want to marry every person I do get to know on a more intimate basis. That "limbo" place can exist. Happily. You can have friends who you enjoy doing non-sexual activities with, who you enjoy sex with without having to go up the relationship escalator. It's not a requirement to have a fulfilling friendship. Don't look for it, it's putting faaaar too much pressure on something. But be open to it, see what happens. Enjoy it for what it is and then it might lead to the dynamic you're looking for. Fwbs do exist on Fab. Can be "found" on here. x | |||
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"*in order to have. I wish Fab would allow us a few seconds of editing time. Even more so for late night posts. "I'd like that alot, this site is ancient.  | |||
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