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dark humor alert!!!*****

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By *sm OP   Couple
over a year ago

Liskeard

jokes about death.... not a refection on whats happening in the world but a personal need to laugh at death and its hold over our lives.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" jokes about death.... not a refection on whats happening in the world but a personal need to laugh at death and its hold over our lives.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" jokes about death.... not a refection on whats happening in the world but a personal need to laugh at death and its hold over our lives.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other"

And both get stuffed into deep dark holes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" jokes about death.... not a refection on whats happening in the world but a personal need to laugh at death and its hold over our lives.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs, but you come in one, and go in the other

And both get stuffed into deep dark holes! "

And both are pretty good contraceptives!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a true story: I was recently at a funeral in Ireland, I approached the widowed husband to pass on my sympathies about his late wife, and I asked how her health had been up to her passing? He said 'She was on that life support thing but we had to take her off it.....It Was Killing Her!!!!', I had to run away very quickly and collapse in laughter in the car park!! True story!!!

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By *sm OP   Couple
over a year ago

Liskeard

An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man is in a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next twenty-four hours. Suddenly, the old man opens his eyes and croaks: "I must be dreaming of heaven! I smell your grandmother's strudel!"

"No, grandfather, you are not dreaming. Grandmother is baking strudel now."

"I know I will never have another taste of her delicious strudel after this one. Could you please go down and get me a piece?", the old man begs with what is left of his final breath.

One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old man's last request. After a long time, he returns empty-handed.

"Did you bring me one last piece of your grandmother's delicious strudel?" the old man plaintively queries.

"I'm very sorry, grandfather, but she says it's for the funeral."

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By *sm OP   Couple
over a year ago

Liskeard

famous heart specialist doctor died and everyone was gathered at his funeral. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"

"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.

"What's so funny about that?"

"I'm a gynecologist."

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

It's the Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbour. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Cup final and not use it?" The neighbour says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Cup final we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

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