FabSwingers.com forum: Do you message first or wait for interested people to message you?

By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
4 weeks ago

North West

I've messaged a lot of women on this that caught my eye, some replied, most didn't (fab I know). So I've swayed away from messaging people first unless someone catches my eye.

Anyone else the same do they wait for others to message or do you always message first?

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

A little of both. I used to message off the back of some forum flirting but now I tend to wait to be approached, it generally works out better rather than guessing if someone is actually interested in me. Although I did recently get blocked for simply replying to a first DM 😅 🦇

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

I'm too much of a chicken 🤣

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By *iss KinkWoman
4 weeks ago

North West

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By *exxyyDy11 OP Man
4 weeks ago

North West

"A little of both. I used to message off the back of some forum flirting but now I tend to wait to be approached, it generally works out better rather than guessing if someone is actually interested in me. Although I did recently get blocked for simply replying to a first DM 😅 🦇"

Fucking hell that is harsh to get blocked for that 🤣🤣

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By *ora the explorerWoman
4 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I’ll message first sometimes. I only really message women though.

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By *ucka39Man
4 weeks ago

Newcastle

I just go with the flow and message

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By *929Man
4 weeks ago

newcastle

I never message first ever

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By *haiababeWoman
4 weeks ago

North devon

I personally tend to wait for guys to message me. I actually dont like putting myself forward very much so i see whos eye i have caught instead. And then look at their bio and see if they intrest me or fit what im lookong for.

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By *fricanspiceCouple
4 weeks ago

luton / Bulgaria

"I'm too much of a chicken 🤣"

Shouldn’t be we won’t bite xx

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By *zChiefWoman
4 weeks ago

middle of somewhere

I dont tend to message first ...maybe its a confidence thing .

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By *aven.Woman
4 weeks ago

Not the North West...

I'll message first if there's someone I like, it's rare I find someone I like though.

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By *ah HumbugMan
4 weeks ago

here and there

No one is interested in wonko

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Covent Garden

I wouldn't know an "interested person" until they messaged me.

I rarely message (other than forum dwellers for various reasons, photo challenges, games, flirt) and I've only sent a handful of first messages this year to non-forum folk, and probably about a dozen in the last two years.

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By *luebell888Woman
4 weeks ago

Glasgowish

I message men who appeal to me.

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Shoot your shot, I’m getting more confident in it but it’s hard

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

Fucking hell that is harsh to get blocked for that 🤣🤣"

I guess the thirteen penis pics weren't as pretty as I thought... 🦇

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By *imi_RougeWoman
4 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I wait for people to msg, majority of men make very little effort with their profiles so it's hard to know if you'd be compatible or are looking for the same thing.

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By *tephanie63Woman
4 weeks ago

BRIDGWATER

I,m lazy, I wait for men to message me..x

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By *iss KinkWoman
4 weeks ago

North West

I wink but don’t usually message

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By *aybeLadyWoman
4 weeks ago

West Dublin

I will message a guy who catches my eye. Only do this once in a while. The rest cum into my inbox 😏

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By *ounmacCouple
4 weeks ago

Market Harborough

We normally wait for a message but then also get lots of copy and paste messages while waiting

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By *HUSH-Man
4 weeks ago

London

I rarely send out messages. If they do get read most go nowhere and the others are still on yellow… for the rest of time.

I’m using FAB mostly for the forums and I’d quite like to go to a forum social soon. Forumites are the best thing about FAB. Just a better type of person in general.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

"I'm too much of a chicken 🤣

Shouldn’t be we won’t bite xx"

Oh no .... I have said too much before ... and unless someone tells me directly I'm not going to be opening up any more cans of worms 🤣🤣

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By *enegadeMMan
4 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

Jeez if I waited for ladies & couples to message this would be a very looooooooonnnnnnnngggggg wait

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Central

I do both. Often my inbox is tough to manage and my time spent messaging can get overwhelming. I'll often just wink a guy, to indicate some interest and leave it to him, to determine his fate

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By *urreyMassageGentlemanMan
4 weeks ago

Ashford

I tend to not to message first, but it’s a bit of both I guess…Mostly I’ll nestle someone in my hotlist and admire from afar until I can’t bear it anymore, give in, and message them!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
4 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Can't remember the last time I messaged someone first outwith a forum postie/forum challenge

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
4 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

I personally never message first.

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By *londebiguyMan
4 weeks ago

Southport

I tend to let anyone interested message me.

Unless they wink maybe, then I'm braver.

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By *elboy1978Man
4 weeks ago

Fellgate

I message people I’m interested in hopefully to get a reply saying that there interested

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By *ancandproudMan
4 weeks ago

Manchester

A bit of both

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By *orthern_knobberMan
4 weeks ago

manchester

I wait until somebody asks me to put my dingling in their thingling.

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

The last 4.5 years, I've only met people I've messaged first.

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By *electableicecreamMan
4 weeks ago

The West

I rarely send first messages and meet most people at social events.

The messages I do get often work out great.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
4 weeks ago

Leeds

If you want me, you know where I am, if not, no bother, heard you’re a shit fuck anyway 😒

The mr

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By *aybeLadyWoman
4 weeks ago

West Dublin

"I rarely send first messages and meet most people at social events.

The messages I do get often work out great."

This is why I want to attend social events. Going to my 1st one as a singleton on here this Sat. Network like I've never networked (hate networking btw 🤦‍♀️).

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By *iss.Bella.Woman
4 weeks ago

Wales

Im getting better at messaging first. It's easier they can only say yes or no (and block)

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By *weetiepie99Woman
4 weeks ago

cardiff

I have for the first time very recently, twice!!,...never before that

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By *ongJohnSilva2.0Man
4 weeks ago

Right up your street

I’ve messaged loads in the past, always read profiles, messages are relevant to the profiles…..only to be left on yellow.

So I’m at the stage now where I don’t bother. If you want me, come find me

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By *hristopherd999Man
4 weeks ago

Brentwood

If I didn't message first, I wouldn't chat to anyone, It's pretty rare for someone to message me first

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
4 weeks ago

Stoke

Cannot remember the last message we sent first, we just don't do it.

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By *electableicecreamMan
4 weeks ago

The West

"I rarely send first messages and meet most people at social events.

The messages I do get often work out great.

This is why I want to attend social events. Going to my 1st one as a singleton on here this Sat. Network like I've never networked (hate networking btw 🤦‍♀️)."

It was a total game changer for me. These days I go to socials to catch up with fab friends as much as I go to meet new people.

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By *aybeLadyWoman
4 weeks ago

West Dublin

"I rarely send first messages and meet most people at social events.

The messages I do get often work out great.

This is why I want to attend social events. Going to my 1st one as a singleton on here this Sat. Network like I've never networked (hate networking btw 🤦‍♀️).

It was a total game changer for me. These days I go to socials to catch up with fab friends as much as I go to meet new people."

Its like coffee meet speed dating. Mental note of the profiles to avoid and which to hotlist.

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By *B69Woman
4 weeks ago

Wiltshire

I’ve messaged people first if their pictures or profile intrigues me

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By *ealitybitesMan
4 weeks ago

Belfast

The last time I sent an introductory message to anyone was just before the first lockdown so late January or early February 2020.

Every conversation in the almost 5 years since has been started by someone else who has either been intrigued by my profile or liked something I said in the forums.

I've no plans to change that approach.

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By *haron1701ETV/TS
4 weeks ago

Southport

Given up messaging, extremely rare get a reply anyway

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By *yzykMan
4 weeks ago

Stirlingshire

"I’ve messaged loads in the past, always read profiles, messages are relevant to the profiles…..only to be left on yellow.

So I’m at the stage now where I don’t bother. If you want me, come find me"

Exactly this, never had a reply or a message

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
4 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"I’ve messaged people first if their pictures or profile intrigues me"

Keep it to the forum please 😂😂😂

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By *aomilatteCouple
4 weeks ago

Midlands

We never message first, but do reply to those we're interested in.

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By *B69Woman
4 weeks ago

Wiltshire

"I’ve messaged people first if their pictures or profile intrigues me

Keep it to the forum please 😂😂😂"

I would be on the naughty step if I did 🤫

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By *eardedguy800Man
4 weeks ago

Kidderminster

I always message first. Occasionally, I get a first message out of the blue! Always welcome. I would say a high percentage are read, some deleted, others remain stubbornly unanswered. Quite a few look at my profile, but still don’t reply 🤣

The 1 word answers are smashing. Had 1 today - “Hi”. Better than “Hi babe or hun” 🤬

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By *aggy dollsCouple
4 weeks ago

Bradford

We're really bad at replying so massaging first would be a no

Mr H

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
4 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"I’ve messaged people first if their pictures or profile intrigues me

Keep it to the forum please 😂😂😂

I would be on the naughty step if I did 🤫"

Join me on the naughty escalator. It's about time I fell off

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By *obilebottomMan
4 weeks ago

All over

Very occasionally first

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By *emboy AlexMan
4 weeks ago

Chadderton, Manchester

"I've messaged a lot of women on this that caught my eye, some replied, most didn't (fab I know). So I've swayed away from messaging people first unless someone catches my eye.

Anyone else the same do they wait for others to message or do you always message first? "

I wink at alot of people, however, I think I've only ever initiated a message once (They replied ^-^). I'm just way too shy. I always let them message first.

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By *KTim61Man
4 weeks ago

Tipton

"I've messaged a lot of women on this that caught my eye, some replied, most didn't (fab I know). So I've swayed away from messaging people first unless someone catches my eye.

Anyone else the same do they wait for others to message or do you always message first? "

I know what you mean, I've messaged quite a few on here, but only got a couple of replies, but then again its thanks but No thanks ! But I still live in hope 1 day soon

Good luck

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By *andadbodMan
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

i stopped messaging years ago, these days some couples and women have messaged me, as the saying goes, if they’re looking for a single male, they’ll find us 🙂

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By *rightonsteveMan
4 weeks ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Actually, I do believe I did send a message to a person in this very thread! Now there’s a spooky coincidence.

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By *enfleetMaleMan
4 weeks ago

Hadleigh

Nobody messages me so I have to make the first move

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
4 weeks ago

Reading

Why would you message someone who didn't catch your eye. I don't get it.

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By *uvs2watchherCouple
4 weeks ago

newcastle

i wait but if someone really catches my eye like ohhh yes then i tell hubby and seems to work for us xx

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By *ookingforfun9970Man
4 weeks ago

nearby

I will send a wink to someone I would like to connect with and maybe fab a few of their pics that I like, if there’s no response then I take it as they aren’t very interested

Seems to work so far

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
4 weeks ago

Basingstoke

I occasionally send messages - to people whose profiles have caught my eye, and piqued my interest, either as a result of them fabbing one of my pictures or from some interaction in the forum.

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By *WB85Man
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I rarely bother messaging, it's better for my ego that way

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By *exycarlashane181Couple
4 weeks ago

Leamington Spa

"I've messaged a lot of women on this that caught my eye, some replied, most didn't (fab I know). So I've swayed away from messaging people first unless someone catches my eye.

Anyone else the same do they wait for others to message or do you always message first? "

Rarely message first.. Takes all my time answering all the messages in our inbox, and as soon as I think I've cleared it... Then the replies come back in

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By *oomarangMan
4 weeks ago

Chester

I’ve learnt never to message first. Every time I messaged first with a polite respectful message I either get a sarky response or blocked can’t win

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By *rowneyedgirl.Woman
4 weeks ago

Durham

So I have messaged a few that have really caught my eye.

I do try to reply to most messages.

I tend to ignore vulgar ones. (After adding a private note incase they message again)

Or I have used the *wink* to grab the attention of someone I like who maybe to shy to message me first..

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By *oo..Woman
4 weeks ago

Boo's World

I've never messaged anyone first in a serious want to meet them kind of way.

Only time I send a message first is usually something daft off the back of the forums.

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By *ik NaksCouple
4 weeks ago

Wigan

Depends on if the profile catches our eye but we’re rubbish at sending the first message so normally wait for someone to message us

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By *ust want fun 888Man
4 weeks ago

nearby

So, that’s why there’s no messaging going on, everyone’s waiting on each other, I feel better now

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By *iandti2023Couple
4 weeks ago

Wokingham

We message first! People may not always like us but at least we never sit and wonder if someone liked us!!!

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"So, that’s why there’s no messaging going on, everyone’s waiting on each other, I feel better now"

Oh if only it were that simple.

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"We message first! People may not always like us but at least we never sit and wonder if someone liked us!!!"

I'm trying to find a reason why they wouldn't.

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By *erryGoldMan
4 weeks ago

Redditch

It's hard to know what to say in a first message other that your nice and I'd like to chat or grab coffee. Seems like letting a conversation flow and see to too much effort for people. Or maybe I'm not what they want which is fine too 🤣🤣

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By *neeyedwillieMan
4 weeks ago

Darlington

Neither.

I go to.the clubs and socials because it works. Fab does not.

And that's not me implying its Fabs fault per se. Fab is just a tool. I just simply cannot be chewed trying to get the attention of the 50 or 60 women within 20 miles (of me) who are active on here when there's about 4000 guys in the same region trying to do the same thing. It's alla bout what makes me different from them.

I just do what works and that is clubs, socials and doing things the old fashioned way..which is chatting the women up face to face.

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Covent Garden

"We message first! People may not always like us but at least we never sit and wonder if someone liked us!!!"

•

90% of my socials and trysts over the last 3½ years or so have been on the back of women sending the first message. Women do indeed message.

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