FabSwingers.com forum: Your best insults!

By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

Mainly looking for fiction based ones.

For example: baldurs gate 3

Your body is a temple To an idiot god.

Fucking amazing In context.

Can be:

Books

Films

Games

Anyway I'm.reposting because toot can't make a thread for shit.

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By *ildTimes777Man
4 weeks ago

Colchester/London

One of the best lines ever was from a terrible movie Street fighter, it's when M Bison the war lord gets confronted years later by Chun Li, he killed her whole family and wiped out her village and when she finally confronted him and vows Vengeance he says he doesn't remember and comes out with this banger....

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day in your life, but for me? It was Tuesday."

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards

And lo! Our Lord Jesus is born!

His afterbirth shall be known as Toot.

(Well....there's a fairly well-known book behind this one

)

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"One of the best lines ever was from a terrible movie Street fighter, it's when M Bison the war lord gets confronted years later by Chun Li, he killed her whole family and wiped out her village and when she finally confronted him and vows Vengeance he says he doesn't remember and comes out with this banger....

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day in your life, but for me? It was Tuesday."

Lmao m bison is a chad

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"And lo! Our Lord Jesus is born!

His afterbirth shall be known as Toot.

(Well....there's a fairly well-known book behind this one

🤣 I like you add me.

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

Your eyes shine like tepid piss!!!!

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

I never saw anyone take so long to dress, and with such little result

Oscar Wilde

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
4 weeks ago

St Leonards

"And lo! Our Lord Jesus is born!

His afterbirth shall be known as Toot.

(Well....there's a fairly well-known book behind this one

)

🤣 I like you add me."

Wait until Davina and Glow turn up - they are the queens of insults.

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By *he ExcaliburMan
4 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries!”"

I like this one

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I never saw anyone take so long to dress, and with such little result

Oscar Wilde"

Lmao that's a burn and a half.

BTW bard as astarion is funny as fuck 🤣

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"And lo! Our Lord Jesus is born!

His afterbirth shall be known as Toot.

(Well....there's a fairly well-known book behind this one

)

🤣 I like you add me.

Wait until Davina and Glow turn up - they are the queens of insults."

They should pop in!

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By *artfordBlokeMan
4 weeks ago

Dartford

Madame, your ignorance is exceeded only by the size of your arse. Two fer one there

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By *a LunaWoman
4 weeks ago

South Wales

From Blade Trinity (a Film)

“Cock Juggling Thunder Cunt”

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"From Blade Trinity (a Film)

“Cock Juggling Thunder Cunt”

Lmao I'm stealing this one from blade.

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By *ir-March-a-lotMan
4 weeks ago

london

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed

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By *arriedcoupleNECouple
4 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Lady Catherine de Bourgh in Pride and Prejudice

"I take no leave of you, Miss Bennet. I send no compliments to your mother. You deserve no such attention."

It may not be sweary but it cuts like few others.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I'm not a Frank Skinner fan but he did come up with this which amused me...

A woman said to him after a show "Some of your jokes are verging on the offensive" and he apparently replied "I only see one virgin on the offensive here"

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By *ornucopiaMan
4 weeks ago

Bexley

I like saying "Uttoxeter" because if its similarity to "You tosser" but I suspect that far more people have heard of You Tube.

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By *andadbodMan
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

Telling some one to FOCUS!

Fuck Off Cause Ure Stupid

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By *ee69Man
4 weeks ago

glasgow

Ya spunk bubble is a fun insult

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By *ee69Man
4 weeks ago

glasgow

Or skins

Your s complete waste of flesh an bone

Just skins

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By *issBlackedCouple
4 weeks ago

Glasgow

The Mighty Boosh - The legend of Old Gregg:

“Ol’ Gregg. Legendary fish. Some say he’s half man, half fish. Others say it’s more of a seventy-thirty split. Whatever the percentage, he’s one fishy bastard.”

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By *zeroMan
4 weeks ago

Glasgow

On Never Mind the Buzzcocks Phil Jupitus said that his school report said "Phillip seems to find snails pace exhausting."

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

I'm loving the response everyone, sorry I'm quite caffeined up so I'm struggling to type.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
4 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

He had teeth like a recce patrol, camouflaged and unevenly spread out.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
4 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"The Mighty Boosh - The legend of Old Gregg:

“Ol’ Gregg. Legendary fish. Some say he’s half man, half fish. Others say it’s more of a seventy-thirty split. Whatever the percentage, he’s one fishy bastard.”"

My favourite episode from one of my favourite shows.

Can you drink Bailey's from a shoe?

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate

George R R Martin

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate

George R R Martin"

Sounds like game of thrones because it probably is.

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By *ripfillMan
4 weeks ago

havant

You are the very definition of a moron ….

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By *alm_one4Man
4 weeks ago

RM16

Still think Churchill’s Drink/Ugly come back is pretty good

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By *ildTimes777Man
4 weeks ago

Colchester/London

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day in your life, but for me? It was Tuesday."

Lmao m bison is a chad"

Giga chad

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By *ildTimes777Man
4 weeks ago

Colchester/London

"From Blade Trinity (a Film)

“Cock Juggling Thunder Cunt”

Ryan Reynolds I believe...

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By *osey WalesMan
4 weeks ago

Surrey

I do not have the time, patience or crayons to explain it to you in a way you would understand.

I could agree with you but whats the point in us both being wrong.

You cant teach pork

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

"Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now... I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem."

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
4 weeks ago

Wirral.

You're wrong. Just like you were wrong when you thought women didn't need deodorant...

"Married With Children" (i think)

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By *zeroMan
4 weeks ago

Glasgow

One from Hot Fuzz I like from one of the Andys is

You want to be a big man in a small town, fuck off up the model village.

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By *ildTimes777Man
4 weeks ago

Colchester/London

Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock after she accused him of being d*unk: "I may be d*unk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."

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By *ynetaurusMan
4 weeks ago

Newcastle

You have had more cocks than John Waynes rifle

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

""Roger, at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. Roger, if I were using that microscope right now... I still wouldn't be able to locate my interest in your problem.""

👏👏👏👏

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"One from Hot Fuzz I like from one of the Andys is

You want to be a big man in a small town, fuck off up the model village."

Great. Movie my friend.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
4 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I've got one asshole in my pants, so don't need another.

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By *vaRose43Woman
4 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Two wrongs don't make a right, take your parents as an example.

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

I love these keep em cumming!

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By *coobyABCMan
4 weeks ago

Aberdeen

If you want my comeback, look in your mum's teeth

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By *ob ThomasCouple
4 weeks ago

Bridgend

I’d finger her with a handful of stinging nettles

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By *ir Toot of the frost OP Man
4 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

Your not a complete idiot... some parts of you are still missing.

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By *alcon77Man
4 weeks ago

under the sun & the moon

Pearl Davis (a conservative youtuber, famous for views such as "women should not be allowed to vote" ) commented on someone else's video stating "You seem like the sort of person who's parents are divorced. "

They commented back:

"You seem like the sort of person who's parents are related."

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
4 weeks ago

Stoke

"Telling some one to FOCUS!

Fuck Off Cause Ure Stupid"

Ure? Bit of irony in that post 😂

Mr F.

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By *oding1Man
4 weeks ago

marlow

One I heard at work many years ago

I wouldn't cross the road to piss in his mouth if his teeth were on fire..

And from a toilet cubicle wall.

Texans are the living proof that indians fucked buffalo.

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By *artfordBlokeMan
4 weeks ago

Dartford

Just discovered "the bottom part of your body is like a Greek God, the top is more like a Greek yoghurt " I quite like that

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By *il.E.lickurclioteMan
4 weeks ago

Derby

My favourite t-shirt. I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain it to you

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By *lessandra_BWoman
4 weeks ago

Here, There & Everywhere

One of my favourites from the king of insults, Billy Butcher, in S4 of The Boys:

"I'd call you a cunt, but you ain't got the depth or warmth for it."

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
4 weeks ago

Leeds

Get back in your caravan, your brother will probably want a go before your dad gets home.

The mr

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By *ool QuipWoman
4 weeks ago

Cheadle

Shakespeare

“This woman’s an easy glove, my lord, she goes off and on at pleasure.”

All’s Well That Ends Well

“Away, you three-inch fool! “

The Taming of the Shrew

“No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip, she is spherical, like a globe; I could find countries in her.”

The Comedy of Errors

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
4 weeks ago

notts

When I want to hear from an arsehole, I’ll fart.

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By *allerthanaverage79Man
4 weeks ago

Ayrshire

You think too much, but you haven't the brains for it!

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By *eordieJeansCouple
4 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Your face offends my mirror.

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By *ornucopiaMan
4 weeks ago

Bexley

"Telling some one to FOCUS!

Fuck Off Cause Ure Stupid

Ure? Bit of irony in that post 😂

Mr F.

'Use', surely?

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By *oamingfree24Man
4 weeks ago

Bradford

Mines to my best pal, unfortunately for him he is ginger...

I regularly tell him ginger is not a colour it's a disease...

Still makes me laugh to this day lol

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By *cottishVikingBearMan
4 weeks ago

N. London

"I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."

Firefly

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