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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby

Is it really a community?

I often find it difficult to determine swingers as a community in the same way i can identify clearly (for example)the gay community, in that the people within that community are gay.

The swinging community as classed by some, is so diverse as can be seen by the people within it, that its difficult to determine "what is a swinger"?, everyone seems to have a differing opinion....therefore the question....is it really a community?.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My village is classed as a community, and it is a diverse cross section of humanity... I like to think the swinging community is just the same, a diverse rich tapestry of people interwoven through common interests. xxxxx

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"Is it really a community?

I often find it difficult to determine swingers as a community in the same way i can identify clearly (for example)the gay community, in that the people within that community are gay.

The swinging community as classed by some, is so diverse as can be seen by the people within it, that its difficult to determine "what is a swinger"?, everyone seems to have a differing opinion....therefore the question....is it really a community?.

"

Every "community" has a range of different facets, sub-groups within an established "brand".

If you look closely at any community you will see groups within it, and swinging is no different.

Although I have not looked, I have no doubt that there are gay chat/meet groups where similar threads are started, with similar posts being made on the different subjects.

As I will be famous for saying, "there are angels and arseholes everywhere, no matter where you go the names and faces change, but the people stay the same."

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"My village is classed as a community, and it is a diverse cross section of humanity... I like to think the swinging community is just the same, a diverse rich tapestry of people interwoven through common interests. xxxxx"

I understand that, the people in your village are a community based on geography, History, resources and even identity.

These are not always voluntary choices, whereas swinging is an individual choice.

And its hard to be a swinging community when people have difficulty defining what a swinger is....xxx

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"

"there are angels and arseholes everywhere, no matter where you go the names and faces change, but the people stay the same." "

LOL...good quote !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Im an angel with an arsehole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your real question then is ... define a swinger?.... how long is a piece of string?

As long as there's more than one person swinging there will be more than one definition as it means different things to each individual.

I tend to think of the swinging community being based on all of us here on this and similar sites,living a particular life style choice, not on what each individuals interpretation of swinging is.

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"your real question then is ... define a swinger?.... how long is a piece of string?

As long as there's more than one person swinging there will be more than one definition as it means different things to each individual.

I tend to think of the swinging community being based on all of us here on this and similar sites,living a particular life style choice, not on what each individuals interpretation of swinging is."

I suppose youre right the definition of what is actually a swinger, would help determine if there is such a thing as a swinging community.

On the other hand what is definately not a swinger would help determine what is......i think....lol.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know if we really need to label swinging. Its more laid back than that mostly fun with friends both old and new

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"your real question then is ... define a swinger?.... how long is a piece of string?

As long as there's more than one person swinging there will be more than one definition as it means different things to each individual.

I tend to think of the swinging community being based on all of us here on this and similar sites,living a particular life style choice, not on what each individuals interpretation of swinging is.

I suppose youre right the definition of what is actually a swinger, would help determine if there is such a thing as a swinging community.

On the other hand what is definately not a swinger would help determine what is......i think....lol..... "

my tiny wee brain hurts now I'm off for a drink!!!!

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By *im53Man
over a year ago

Boldon


"your real question then is ... define a swinger?.... how long is a piece of string?

As long as there's more than one person swinging there will be more than one definition as it means different things to each individual.

I tend to think of the swinging community being based on all of us here on this and similar sites,living a particular life style choice, not on what each individuals interpretation of swinging is.

I suppose youre right the definition of what is actually a swinger, would help determine if there is such a thing as a swinging community.

On the other hand what is definately not a swinger would help determine what is......i think....lol.....

my tiny wee brain hurts now I'm off for a drink!!!! "

can i join you first one on me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't personally see how it can be a community or even a lifestyle, although Jed nearly persuaded me otherwise earlier today on another thread. To us it's a hobby, it's something we do together during our social or recreational time. We do it because we enjoy it, just as some people like ballroom dancing, lol. The people who take part in our chosen pastime come from such diverse corners of society that we think it is difficult to write a definative statement or description of what we do.

Why do we feel the need to anylise everything these days? lets lighten up a little and spend our time playing.

Don't know about you lot out there in Swingland, but we would rather have a sore cock and a sore fanny than a sore brain. Happy shagging

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By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london

Can't see why you wouldn't perceive swingers as been part of a community or more to the point having a community. We all live within social settings and are members of various communities/groupings within that setting. Can’t honestly think of a setting where someone is only part of a single community.

We all have a large number of social interactions which don’t or rarely crossover. I work for a Uni and see myself as part of that community at the local level but also at the global level. All of us have similar issues, concerns, ideologies ect…

I also have had horses for a number of years and am active with in that community – within this community there are so many factions ie those who hunt and those who don’t, those who only see flat racing as a true sport and those who see themselves as purists (Dressage), those who only look to breed lines as the only indicator to those who want to take a gamble on an unknown – yet I don’t think many would deny that the equestrian world has a community.

The two areas I used as examples are no different to the “swinging community”. All are inclusive of a diverse group of people who have a similar set of ideological concepts and shared meanings. No more than any setting we will naturally migrate towards those with a community with whom we can best identify.

I don’t think that we all need to share the same definition of swinging to share the community – how boring would that be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just our opinion, just as you have yours. To us swinging is a hobby and nothing more. I can see your point of view, and understand your analysis, but we have our own opinion, simples.....

Play safe xxxxx

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"I dont know if we really need to label swinging. Its more laid back than that mostly fun with friends both old and new"

Hasnt it already been labelled for us ????...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh bugger labelling things lol the only thing labels are good for is putting on presents and id like to unwrap a sexy guy, any takers lol

I have to agree with jack and kate on this one, lets just enjoy our 'hobby' and live and let live.

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


"Can't see why you wouldn't perceive swingers as been part of a community or more to the point having a community. We all live within social settings and are members of various communities/groupings within that setting. Can’t honestly think of a setting where someone is only part of a single community.

We all have a large number of social interactions which don’t or rarely crossover. I work for a Uni and see myself as part of that community at the local level but also at the global level. All of us have similar issues, concerns, ideologies ect…

I also have had horses for a number of years and am active with in that community – within this community there are so many factions ie those who hunt and those who don’t, those who only see flat racing as a true sport and those who see themselves as purists (Dressage), those who only look to breed lines as the only indicator to those who want to take a gamble on an unknown – yet I don’t think many would deny that the equestrian world has a community.

The two areas I used as examples are no different to the “swinging community”. All are inclusive of a diverse group of people who have a similar set of ideological concepts and shared meanings. No more than any setting we will naturally migrate towards those with a community with whom we can best identify.

I don’t think that we all need to share the same definition of swinging to share the community – how boring would that be

"

I understand your post, but is it actually a community?......as you point out...Horse community...i mentioned gay community....both easily identifiable as they have a common theme...and are clearly defined....Swinging isnt so clearly defined therefore, whats the common theme that defines this community.

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By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london


".I understand your post, but is it actually a community?......as you point out...Horse community...i mentioned gay community....both easily identifiable as they have a common theme...and are clearly defined....Swinging isnt so clearly defined therefore, whats the common theme that defines this community.

"

There’s a common language, there are recognisable clubs, settings and codes of behaviour – many that are not obvious or perceivable to the “outsider” - as I’m relatively new I’m still discovering some of them

There is in general a much more tollerent, open, liberal and humorous attitude to all things sexual.

There’s defiantly an “in” and “out” group and before everyone goes off on one I’m not talking about perceived cliques within the forums, but lots have talked about vanilla friends etc people themselves are distinguishing this group from others.

I've seen genuine offers of support, comfort and thanks to others, of people comming together to do what they can for those who need it - is that not a community?

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


".I understand your post, but is it actually a community?......as you point out...Horse community...i mentioned gay community....both easily identifiable as they have a common theme...and are clearly defined....Swinging isnt so clearly defined therefore, whats the common theme that defines this community.

There’s a common language, there are recognisable clubs, settings and codes of behaviour – many that are not obvious or perceivable to the “outsider” - as I’m relatively new I’m still discovering some of them

There is in general a much more tollerent, open, liberal and humorous attitude to all things sexual.

There’s defiantly an “in” and “out” group and before everyone goes off on one I’m not talking about perceived cliques within the forums, but lots have talked about vanilla friends etc people themselves are distinguishing this group from others.

I've seen genuine offers of support, comfort and thanks to others, of people comming together to do what they can for those who need it - is that not a community?

"

You certainly make a good arguement that one exists.....

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By *artin216 OP   Man
over a year ago

Spilsby


".I understand your post, but is it actually a community?......as you point out...Horse community...i mentioned gay community....both easily identifiable as they have a common theme...and are clearly defined....Swinging isnt so clearly defined therefore, whats the common theme that defines this community.

There’s a common language, there are recognisable clubs, settings and codes of behaviour – many that are not obvious or perceivable to the “outsider” - as I’m relatively new I’m still discovering some of them

There is in general a much more tollerent, open, liberal and humorous attitude to all things sexual.

There’s defiantly an “in” and “out” group and before everyone goes off on one I’m not talking about perceived cliques within the forums, but lots have talked about vanilla friends etc people themselves are distinguishing this group from others.

I've seen genuine offers of support, comfort and thanks to others, of people comming together to do what they can for those who need it - is that not a community?

You certainly make a good arguement that one exists....."

But isnt it really an internet community that is open to anyone?..

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By *ishful.thinkingWoman
over a year ago

east london


".

But isnt it really an internet community that is open to anyone?.. "

Aren’t most communities open to those who are interested, those who are prepared to take the first step, to find out more, to participate, to become involved – all the internet does is make it more accessible.

Had this conversation with a close friend last night – my perceptions of swinging/ers up ‘till 15 months ago was the image of keys in the bowl – something to be hidden, something illicit to be done behind closed doors, not what “normal” people got involved with. Now as a result of people like him and sites like this I’m open about this part of my life and I’m having more fun than I’ve ever had.

This "community" has been around for a long time and expect it is only going to grow as preconcived ideas on relationshipes and sexuality are torn apart.

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

It is a cummunity where there are smaller sub groups as in any other community

One thing that you will find is that not everyone likes everyone else NO MATTER whats said at the socials

Like who you like, respect those that respect you and to the rest, well have a nice life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A community can be defined as many things but to me its old fashioned helping people and recently many members of this lifestyle and i will use the word community have really stepped up to the mark when my house was badly flooded and i was forced to take refuge in a b&b, a certain fem on here ( bettyboo) was straght up to see me and got dug in with spade to rid the mud so we could start cleaning, even tonight she went up to my barn and turned it into a little boudiour with artificial lights, hay bales and lots of wine on ice just to cheer me up, as she knows i have had a crap christmas and just wanted to go home. She even told other members about my plight and they came over too and helped move my furniture - and they expect nothing in return.

Now without getting all soft that is the meaning of community. And i cannot thank them enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A community can be defined as many things but to me its old fashioned helping people and recently many members of this lifestyle and i will use the word community have really stepped up to the mark when my house was badly flooded and i was forced to take refuge in a b&b, a certain fem on here ( bettyboo) was straght up to see me and got dug in with spade to rid the mud so we could start cleaning, even tonight she went up to my barn and turned it into a little boudiour with artificial lights, hay bales and lots of wine on ice just to cheer me up, as she knows i have had a crap christmas and just wanted to go home. She even told other members about my plight and they came over too and helped move my furniture - and they expect nothing in return.

Now without getting all soft that is the meaning of community. And i cannot thank them enough."

soppy cow!!!

hun you needed help and your family werent here, we were ( and i mean me and other forum members) and we knew you had a wine celler lol now shut the feck up and go get a good bottle lol

Oh and tell your so called mates in the real world that community begins with being friends and not just gaining something for themselfs, life is as exciting as you can make it lol and tell them to get a real constructive hobby lol ' lLIKE SWINGING' THEY MIGHT REALISE THAT VALUE OF LIFE AND TRUE FRIENDSHIP AND INTIMATE LIFELONG FRIENDSHIP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kitten and Bettyboo, this story has warmed me heart. Out of adversity comes the community spirit... I wish you all the best and that you are re-homed soon Kitty. Well done Bettybo and the rest xxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

laine well being an east coaster lol ( carnoustie) we were brought up on the value of friendship and kinship lol as you well know - xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ach Bettyboo, you can take the girl out of the east coast but not the east coast community spirit out of the girl eh? well done hunni xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pmsl well id raise a glass to ya hunni but i d*unk it lol pmsl

but your right certain 'areas' dare i use the word communities have certain ties and values and i was lucky enough to be brought up not dragged up. but your right the scottish girl in me will never lose her values hence why they call me BRAVETART

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

hence why they call me BRAVETART "

LMFAO! you rock xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

na the only rock is in edinburgh and i still cry while flying over it lol - feck me what a soft touch i am

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My village is classed as a community, and it is a diverse cross section of humanity... I like to think the swinging community is just the same, a diverse rich tapestry of people interwoven through common interests. xxxxx

I understand that, the people in your village are a community based on geography, History, resources and even identity.

These are not always voluntary choices, whereas swinging is an individual choice.

And its hard to be a swinging community when people have difficulty defining what a swinger is....xxx

"

Swinging is more than 2 people have recreational sex together.

Now that you understand that you will notice from the profiles that we all share a common bond of ... surprise, surprise ... wanting a 3rd, or more, to join us for sex.

And there's your 'community'.

Some of us make firm friends along the way and this determines whether the community is a strong one based upon values shared by it's members outside of sex or a weak community whereby sex is the only thing in which we're interested.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"

"there are angels and arseholes everywhere, no matter where you go the names and faces change, but the people stay the same."

LOL...good quote !!! "

Well, as I said, I will be famous for it, dont think anyone else ever said it before me.... its mine... mine I tell you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I get Community service in the Swingers Community then

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By *andKCouple
over a year ago

Norfolk


"

"there are angels and arseholes everywhere, no matter where you go the names and faces change, but the people stay the same."

LOL...good quote !!!

Well, as I said, I will be famous for it, dont think anyone else ever said it before me.... its mine... mine I tell you!! "

is that determined by how many aliases you?

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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough


"Can I get Community service in the Swingers Community then "

100 hours if your really naughty

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

A community is made up of different people but with one common interest.

I'll go on a limb to say the gay community has diversities in sex (male as well as female), occupation, ages, family upbringing, siblings and hobbies.

A residential community wouldn't be much different, commonality being where they live, but you'd have to extend to orientation, status (single, married, co-habitting,...)

I'd like to think the swinging community hence has its diversities not just in our individual peronal lives, but also in our varied preferences of play (agree or disagree) as long as we get along.

Some would say agree to disagree, so here's my definition of a swinger:

"People with above average sexual awareness (not necessarily interest or experience) looking to explore and share with others".

Howzat ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I get Community service in the Swingers Community then

100 hours if your really naughty "

I'm always naughty, I'm a bloke !

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