FabSwingers.com forum: nukes.

By *uacksplat. OP Woman
15 weeks ago

Star Trekking Across The Universe

does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?

hilarious answers only.

about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.

the scream i screampt was ungodly.

you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.

but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.

full blown panic attack ensued.

im not kidding.

managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.

so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.

because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.

so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?

or failing that.. no, there are no other options. but maybe kind, helpful words from people who may also have an extreme fear of something, on how to stop the panic so you can sleep ready for your next 13hr shift in the morning.. 😩 Px

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
15 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Nothing you can do apart from burn the house down....Nuking only deters them numheckas

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 16/10/24 23:42:01]

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

I'll come sort it for you.

But you'll have to love me then.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

I have one I. My shed you can borrow

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By *ilver_foxxx69Man
15 weeks ago

Falkirk

acme. If a coyote can get it. You can too

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
15 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I hate spiders and they love my flat.

I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷‍♂️

I feel your pain Quack, I really do.

As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔

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By *cLovin2Man
15 weeks ago

Reading

I seem to have a nest of spiders who have shacked up outside my french windows for weeks, the bastard's refuse to go away even when I take down the cobwebs.

I had to resort to a mixture of vinegar, peppermint to fight them but they're still there. Resilient blighters

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
15 weeks ago

york

Oh that's easy you just need to get a ******** then add in the ********** before equipping *********************** and before you know it you're ***** into a ******** and hey presto you're on an mi5 watch list

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By *ggdrasil66Man
15 weeks ago

Saltdean

Get it off Putin. He has loads but I too scared to use them. Tell him that you got this advice from Yggdrasil, the Viking tree of life. He will never be welcome in Valhalla, because you have to die with your sword in your hand…

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By *entlemanFoxMan
15 weeks ago

North East / London

Have you not seen ‘Them’ to know what nukes does to insects!

What you really need is poison gas and flamethrowers.

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By *n at the DeeP endCouple
15 weeks ago

Manchester

If it's on the floor I set the dog on it. Anything above that I have to get Louise to deal with it. If it's out of her reach I have to grab a boot and deal with it myself, usually after a bit of Dutch courage. People laugh at me but i'm fucking terrified.

I blame the film Arachnophobia. I spent years checking under the toilet seat, under my duvet, didn't go near a lamp for fuck knows how long. Fuck spiders

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By *electableicecreamMan
15 weeks ago

The West

I feel you. I'm terrified of cows. I won't get in a field with one for love nor money and I know if I woke up with one on top of me I would freak the fuck out.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
15 weeks ago

Central

Google and others are ordering mini nuclear power stations, to power their energy hungry AI models. Borrow one and set it alight, as obviously it's not just governments that can use this stuff these days. Or something that can burn, could get you through until Prime delivers

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By *n at the DeeP endCouple
15 weeks ago

Manchester

We had to walk between some cows on a hike the other week with the dog. 5ft away either side and one had a calf too, started mooing like fuck. Bit scary to be honest

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
15 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

If I come across a spider, I always try to pop a large tub over it, slip a card under, and release it either outside or into the garden shed.

The first place my wife and I lived in was a thatched roof place on a half acre of land. The rafters were full of geckos and spiders, and the little guys did a great job of taking out flies and mosquitoes.

But in answer to your question - dust off and nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

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By *r M Gray88Man
15 weeks ago

Lancaster

Naughty fabbers 🔥🤣

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By *ack1971Man
15 weeks ago

Cork

Sell the house now for a song, it's the only way to be sure.

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By *ir tootMan
15 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?

hilarious answers only.

about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.

the scream i screampt was ungodly.

you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.

but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.

full blown panic attack ensued.

im not kidding.

managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.

so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.

because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.

so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?

So you can get a nuke from [REDACTED] But it will cost you quite abit.

Hope this helps op.

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By *ir tootMan
15 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

And I just had a lovely sleep paralysis moment it was fucking awful.

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By *ffervescentMan
15 weeks ago

winfrith

"does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?

hilarious answers only.

about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.

the scream i screampt was ungodly.

you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.

but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.

full blown panic attack ensued.

im not kidding.

managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.

so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.

because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.

so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?

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By *ools1964Man
15 weeks ago

Swadlincote

You do realise that the radioactive fallout will result in mutant spiders ? They could be 10ft tall with 16 legs & a panchayat for tattooed redheads.

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By *ools1964Man
15 weeks ago

Swadlincote

** penchant

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By *ike14162236Man
15 weeks ago

Cambridge

"does anyone know where i can get a nuclear weapon from please?

hilarious answers only.

about two hours ago, i had a tarantula crawl on me in bed.

the scream i screampt was ungodly.

you see, i have a hysterical, irrational, extreme fear of spiders. i know it's ridiculous, i don't need reminding of that.

but this thing was too big to fit a pint glass over. and it was on me.

full blown panic attack ensued.

im not kidding.

managed to try and get the hoover, but in my hysterical state, don't know if i managed to get it, or if it fell down into the ottoman below my bed. and im too scared to look.

so now obviously i need a nuclear weapon to demolish my entire home.

because ive naturally run away screaming and set up camp on the sofa because im too terrified to go back in my room.

so back to my original question, any nuke dealers about pretty please?

I don’t think fear of spiders is irrational.

Those bastards have 8 legs and fangs.

I find a shoe or boot is the best solution

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By *rthur30Man
15 weeks ago

Warrington

If you have a piano, you can play a tarantella and then close the lid to shut them inside. Then play anything you like to smash the evil creatures inside. Note that this only works for acoustic instruments.

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By *ty31Man
15 weeks ago

NW London

I have one in my pants but you'll have to retrieve it yourself OP.

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By *asycouple1971Couple
15 weeks ago

midlands

Jack Bauer.

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By *ea monkeyMan
15 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I hate spiders and they love my flat.

I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷‍♂️

I feel your pain Quack, I really do.

As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔"

He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
15 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I hate spiders and they love my flat.

I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷‍♂️

I feel your pain Quack, I really do.

As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔

He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable "

Evri or Yodel? 🤔

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By *ir tootMan
15 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

"I hate spiders and they love my flat.

I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷‍♂️

I feel your pain Quack, I really do.

As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔

He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable

Evri or Yodel? 🤔"

Temu made, Korean delivered missiles, so that's why China met with Kim...

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By *r Mind CandyMan
15 weeks ago

Cheshire

I’m sending one to you now.

Love Vlad x

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By *moothdickMan
15 weeks ago

stoke

Yellow pages under “nukes r us”

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By *entlemanH666Man
15 weeks ago

Travelling

"I feel you. I'm terrified of cows. I won't get in a field with one for love nor money and I know if I woke up with one on top of me I would freak the fuck out."

Ever had one drop down the back of your ottoman?

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
15 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

BRB

Just changing my name to the biscuit and boob loving Spider Terminator

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By *ea monkeyMan
15 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I hate spiders and they love my flat.

I hoover them. Inhumane, possibly, but I put a sign up to warn them. 🤷‍♂️

I feel your pain Quack, I really do.

As for the nukes? Have you tried phoning Kim? 🤔

He’s definitely good for a couple but the delivery system is unreliable

Evri or Yodel? 🤔"

Rocket

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By *abuma65Man
15 weeks ago

Gloucester

Middle of Lidl ?

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By *akedMMan
15 weeks ago

Witney

I used to be scared of spiders. At Nudefest I had a tarantula on my hands , it was a female half grown I must say she was beautiful

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By *akedMMan
15 weeks ago

Witney

The photo is on my profile

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By *illie fitMan
15 weeks ago

Bournemouth

Middle of Lidl

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By *akedMMan
15 weeks ago

Witney

They won’t let me put the photo on here

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By *erry bull1Man
15 weeks ago

doncaster

Ex remember of a nuclear missile regiment here , I purloined a few before I was discharged , they’re in my bunker in the back garden

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By *ecky and justCouple
15 weeks ago

Godalming

Hey Prinny..

You have sympathies from us.

Becky is terrified of spiders, the big ones mainly.

I’m chief spider destroyer. If only she knew the amount that get done before she sees them.

Anyways… Spider Nuke in a tin, order some Spider-X online. It kills them dead and they won’t walk across the area that’s been sprayed.

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
15 weeks ago

London

In London zoo there's a spider walk through area where you can walk through a room with spiders just hanging out. I don't really mind spiders but after that everything felt like spiders

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