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"I avoid people at all costs " We don't all want to avoid people. | |||
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"I think one problem is that it takes longer to realise that someone you trust is lying. " It's taken me a long, long time to realise, and perhaps, as Glow said, deep down I wanted to be lied to. Maybe everyone lies to get something they know they wouldn't get, or keep, if they told the truth. | |||
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"Actions speak louder than words. Do they follow through with what they say? Do they let you down a lot. When questioned do they change what they have said and make out they have never said it." That's after you've invested time and energy in them. I want to be able to spot a liar and avoid them, so I don't have to call them out and suffer the heartbreak. | |||
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger? How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you? All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share. " I’d say they have the characteristics of a psychopath. You have to be able to avoid telling truths to function as a normal human being… “That’s me ready for tonight honey, how do I look?”  | |||
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"People often say to others on here who keep being lied to that it's their fault. They should have picked better. It's easy to call people out on lies, but that doesn't mean they'll tell the truth. They'll just spew more lies. That doesn't help us identify a liar before you commit to anything. " Unfortunately, despite appearances, I'm one of those people who likes to think the best of others. Too often I give people the benefit of the doubt when they don't deserve it. But. The other option of just dismissing everyone for the slightest hint of a red flag just isn't for me. I'm working hard on calling out the red flags when I see them and not just letting them slide though 💜 | |||
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"People often say to others on here who keep being lied to that it's their fault. They should have picked better. It's easy to call people out on lies, but that doesn't mean they'll tell the truth. They'll just spew more lies. That doesn't help us identify a liar before you commit to anything. Unfortunately, despite appearances, I'm one of those people who likes to think the best of others. Too often I give people the benefit of the doubt when they don't deserve it. But. The other option of just dismissing everyone for the slightest hint of a red flag just isn't for me. I'm working hard on calling out the red flags when I see them and not just letting them slide though 💜" That's my downfall, I think. I believe someone until I have evidence I can't. | |||
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"I think one problem is that it takes longer to realise that someone you trust is lying. It's taken me a long, long time to realise, and perhaps, as Glow said, deep down I wanted to be lied to. Maybe everyone lies to get something they know they wouldn't get, or keep, if they told the truth. " Maybe. I admitted to myself very late in life that my mum had a very tenuous relationship with truth (I still can't bring myself to call her a liar  ). I knew on some level years ago but it's hard to acknowledge. I don't think anyone can say that a child wants to be lied to.
I was briefly married to an inveterate liar. He genuinely could not tell the truth about anything. I didn't want to be lied to then either.
My mum lied to represent the life she wished she had to the outside world. So maybe she got what she wanted in that other people thought she was the type of person she wished she was
I still have no idea why my ex lied. | |||
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"I think one problem is that it takes longer to realise that someone you trust is lying. It's taken me a long, long time to realise, and perhaps, as Glow said, deep down I wanted to be lied to. Maybe everyone lies to get something they know they wouldn't get, or keep, if they told the truth. Maybe. I admitted to myself very late in life that my mum had a very tenuous relationship with truth (I still can't bring myself to call her a liar ). I knew on some level years ago but it's hard to acknowledge. I don't think anyone can say that a child wants to be lied to.
I was briefly married to an inveterate liar. He genuinely could not tell the truth about anything. I didn't want to be lied to then either.
My mum lied to represent the life she wished she had to the outside world. So maybe she got what she wanted in that other people thought she was the type of person she wished she was
I still have no idea why my ex lied. "My ex hated me so much he told the truth about having an affair. Rubbed it in my face. I can tell when some people are lying by their body language and face. Some people can lie through their teeth and be convincing. | |||
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"An interesting thought experiment in how lies actually work ..Santa Claus. We know, as adults, Santa doesn’t exist. But we maintain the lie with children until they reach an age where they realise it too. Are they hurt because we lied about Santa? No. They see the lie for what it was. It was their lie to themselves and it was comforting and agreeable. Until it wasn’t useful then it becomes a lie. All lies work like this. All lies are Santa. We make them truth until it becomes uncomfortable then we see we lied to ourselves because it was nice. Can we blame the liar? Or do we blame ourselves? *im available to piss in the cornflakes at weddings, mitzvah’s, birthdays etc. " I blame the liar. If they didn't lie, there wouldn't be any lies  | |||
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"An interesting thought experiment in how lies actually work ..Santa Claus. We know, as adults, Santa doesn’t exist. But we maintain the lie with children until they reach an age where they realise it too. Are they hurt because we lied about Santa? No. They see the lie for what it was. It was their lie to themselves and it was comforting and agreeable. Until it wasn’t useful then it becomes a lie. All lies work like this. All lies are Santa. We make them truth until it becomes uncomfortable then we see we lied to ourselves because it was nice. Can we blame the liar? Or do we blame ourselves? *im available to piss in the cornflakes at weddings, mitzvah’s, birthdays etc. I blame the liar. If they didn't lie, there wouldn't be any lies "I didn't realise anyone still believed in cause and effect. | |||
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"Some people can lie through their teeth and be convincing." I still struggle to grasp how some people can possibly be bothered to lie as much as they do. And about such stupid trivial things as well as the huge consent violating things. | |||
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger? How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you? All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share. " Confidence, looking you in the eye when they speak to you ,religious 3 qualities that suggest honesty oh and they accommodate. | |||
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"Im not sure i could be with anyone who practices radical honesty " I know I couldn't. There are some things about myself that I know but would rather not hear someone else articulate | |||
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"Im not sure i could be with anyone who practices radical honesty " White lies are usually harmless and everyone tells them. | |||
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger? How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you? All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share. Confidence, looking you in the eye when they speak to you ,religious 3 qualities that suggest honesty oh and they accommodate. " I was talking about in general. Not people from here, particularly. | |||
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger? How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you? All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share. " People who truly care about others AND have enough intelligence to understand there is rarely justification for lying, that it almost always does harm to others. People who truly love what can come from being open and honest with others, a caring, loving, happy environment. Those who are truly appaled by others lies, tend not to be dishonest themselves. Those who have been assessed by qualified psychologists and their inability (or tendency not) to mislead others has been noted in the report.... | |||
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"I think you just have to take things slowly before getting overly invested in someone That way you'll have a better idea of how consistent they are in their words and actions " Is 14 years long enough? | |||
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"Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing .... I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ? Could you give me an example of a lie ?" Lying as in saying they aren't in a relationship, but they don't tell you that they now are. | |||
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"Fuck it. I'm not waiting for your answer. I have to e mail someone. So here goes , I'm leaping in the dark. If you want to find a partner ( any relationship not just initimate ) You must 1st ... recognise your own values and principles. The ones you live your life by. The ones that guide your own behaviour. ( not sitting down to Eastenders every week - more important principles ) Seek a person with the same or almost the same values and principles - you will exist together more calmly and come to joint decisions that benefit both of you .... As for avoiding liars.... you need to set out your stall from the start. You need someone who values, honesty, integrity and truth You need someone who can communicate cal mly. You need someone who is able to consider others and above all you need someone who likes themselves. They need to like themselves and treat all others kindly. Now sort yourself out nanna and make sure you give the same to others "You want me to sort someone out? 😂 | |||
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"People who won’t lie are typically characterised by their integrity, honesty, and strong moral principles, valuing truthfulness over convenience to achieve their goals. " No, people who don’t lie or can’t lie effectively lack empathy or are autistic. We all tell ‘white lies’ so as to avoid hurting feelings of others unnecessarily… we know if we tell the truth we will hurt feelings so we tell lies to avoid hurting people “it’s lovely to see you” “I love your new hair style” “that’s a funny story”… we tell little white lies nearly every day. Pathological lying is often the result of underlying mental health issues such as narcissistic personality disorder or low self-esteem. | |||
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger? How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you? All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share. Confidence, looking you in the eye when they speak to you ,religious 3 qualities that suggest honesty oh and they accommodate. I was talking about in general. Not people from here, particularly. " Well I guess you have to be a good judge of character and even then you could be wrong . | |||
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"what would you say are characteristics of people who wouldn't lie to you, or a stranger? How do you go about looking for someone to spend time with, or be in a relationship with, who won't lie to you? All the people saying you're obviously picking the same kind of partners, I'd like to know what characteristics they share. " Steer clear of men who wear excessive makeup,- especially orange skin toner | |||
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"Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing .... I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ? Could you give me an example of a lie ? Lying as in saying they aren't in a relationship, but they don't tell you that they now are. " That's not just lying, that's romantic deception as well  sending hugs Nanna x | |||
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"Everyone lies Nanna but lying has degrees or layers. There are lies that are run of the mill and acceptable , lying by omission , lying without malice, lying with intent ... and many more and beginning to attach them to scenarios is even more mind blowing .... I'm assuming you mean blatant lying or do you mean a 'fantasist' .. ? Could you give me an example of a lie ? Lying as in saying they aren't in a relationship, but they don't tell you that they now are. " That's not lying Nanna that's deception ..... maybe omission but never mind the label that is SHIT ..... kill him. | |||
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