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Empathy. Or lack of?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This' ll be devisive....Now it goes without saying that the events in Boston were tragic and a crime. I hope they catch who is responsible and there is a trial.

I find myself not caring less about this story however. I did not know anyone affected by the blasts. Neither do I know anyone who knows anyone affected. No-one killed or injured had any impact on me or my life, so I find it impossible to show any emotion on the subject.

I've seen people on the many threads here and posts on Facebook loosing their minds at disrespectful/idiotic comments that have been made by some, and can't help wondering why they're getting so worked up. Again over an event/people that had little or no impact on them personally.

I find it more confusing that people offer prayers for strangers when such events happen. Particularly as if praying worked, then asking god to stop people setting off bombs in the first place would have been better.

When Diana died and there was this huge outpouring of grief from people who'd never met her. The most the vast number of people got was the cursory "hello, and what do you do?" at an official engagement. So why the grief? She got paid for doing nothing, when bankers do that they get pilloried. Guarantee when Fred Goodwin dies no-one will be lining up to lay flowers anywhere, and arguably he would have had more direct effect on your life when it all went tits up a few years ago than Diana ever did.

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. People die in horrible ways every day, all over the world. Most people don't care because they don't see it on the 6 o'clock news or youtube. I think that's the difference. This event in Boston can be popular/trending grief. That's what I can't stand. Grief tourism. And people will judge me as heartless for not feeling anything, probably accuse me of trolling, without knowing me or what I've done/seen in my life. I'm capable of these things, just for people/events that affect me. Otherwise it's just garish pictures on telly to titillate the viewing figures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it doesnt involve me or my family and friends.

Then I have no emotion for it.

Not that I dont care, just have more on my plate than I want, so no room for any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey theirs about six thread subjects in that lot

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It seems a fair a logical response. We can't all feel too much in every situation or nothing would ever get done.

I think the Boston Marathon outpouring is a little because it's the sort of thing that many might do: either run or watch a marathon. It was a holiday event.

I didn't feel like wailing when Diana died but I did watch a lot of the news coverage and I felt saddened for her sons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It hasn't affected me directly. I don't feel emotional about it.

And yet I can still empathise.

What I have less care for is the attention seeking fuckwits that circulate spam messages for every single tragedy to no good use whatsoever other than their own personal attention - candles on social networks etc. etc.

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By *oftfocusMan
over a year ago

EDINBURGH

Totally agree Jodie. Would be interesting to hear the replies if u posted this same reasonable statement on one of the more mawkish threads(i.e. on the Scottish forum).

Basically the more media coverage,the greater the "outrage" .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It hasn't affected me directly. I don't feel emotional about it.

And yet I can still empathise.

What I have less care for is the attention seeking fuckwits that circulate spam messages for every single tragedy to no good use whatsoever other than their own personal attention - candles on social networks etc. etc."

Yes there is quite a lot of fuckwittage like that about. I find myself wanting to just unfriend them on principle.

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By *oxerjoshleeMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Some people will be genuinely upset, others won't care, some will be sick humoured and some will just enjoy the drama of it.

Things like this affect people in different ways.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

while i feel sorry for the people involved and their families i find it hard to sympathise with the people of Boston in general

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It hasn't affected me directly. I don't feel emotional about it.

And yet I can still empathise.

What I have less care for is the attention seeking fuckwits that circulate spam messages for every single tragedy to no good use whatsoever other than their own personal attention - candles on social networks etc. etc.

Yes there is quite a lot of fuckwittage like that about. I find myself wanting to just unfriend them on principle."

lol I have so many on 'ignore' I never know what's going on!

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset


"This' ll be devisive....Now it goes without saying that the events in Boston were tragic and a crime. I hope they catch who is responsible and there is a trial.

I find myself not caring less about this story however. I did not know anyone affected by the blasts. Neither do I know anyone who knows anyone affected. No-one killed or injured had any impact on me or my life, so I find it impossible to show any emotion on the subject.

I've seen people on the many threads here and posts on Facebook loosing their minds at disrespectful/idiotic comments that have been made by some, and can't help wondering why they're getting so worked up. Again over an event/people that had little or no impact on them personally.

I find it more confusing that people offer prayers for strangers when such events happen. Particularly as if praying worked, then asking god to stop people setting off bombs in the first place would have been better.

When Diana died and there was this huge outpouring of grief from people who'd never met her. The most the vast number of people got was the cursory "hello, and what do you do?" at an official engagement. So why the grief? She got paid for doing nothing, when bankers do that they get pilloried. Guarantee when Fred Goodwin dies no-one will be lining up to lay flowers anywhere, and arguably he would have had more direct effect on your life when it all went tits up a few years ago than Diana ever did.

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. People die in horrible ways every day, all over the world. Most people don't care because they don't see it on the 6 o'clock news or youtube. I think that's the difference. This event in Boston can be popular/trending grief. That's what I can't stand. Grief tourism. And people will judge me as heartless for not feeling anything, probably accuse me of trolling, without knowing me or what I've done/seen in my life. I'm capable of these things, just for people/events that affect me. Otherwise it's just garish pictures on telly to titillate the viewing figures. "

Quite agree, had arranged to leave the country for Diana's funeral - glad I had.

Have a strong aversion to anyone being blown up but huge outpourings of anguish in proportion to the wall to wall news coverage seems phony.

The Obama quote (something like) 'any bomb is a cowardly and despicable act' - had me wondering if he meant bombs from US planes or drones where there is collateral damage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It hasn't directly affected me but can't help feel sad for the people killed/maimed and their families, as a mother its heartbreaking to think of a child blown up, we're all different but I couldn't not feel upset by this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It hasn't directly affected me but can't help feel sad for the people killed/maimed and their families, as a mother its heartbreaking to think of a child blown up, we're all different but I couldn't not feel upset by this. "

I agree with that - I think all parents have that heart jerking moment when they hear of children being hurt or mistreated, and I suspect it increases with age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In general people will jump on the sympathy band wagon because they think its the right thing to do. It's very similar to a lot of threads in here. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It hasn't affected me directly. I don't feel emotional about it.

And yet I can still empathise.

What I have less care for is the attention seeking fuckwits that circulate spam messages for every single tragedy to no good use whatsoever other than their own personal attention - candles on social networks etc. etc.

Yes there is quite a lot of fuckwittage like that about. I find myself wanting to just unfriend them on principle."

One of the reasons i'll never do "Bookface" !

I get what you're saying. I can empathise with those directly involved and will gladly acknowledge that it was a horrendous act and hope those responsible get their comeuppance!

People will always feel stronger about things closer to home, or their own personal circumstances e.g. parents, those sharing a profession (such as police/firefighters etc.) - we should never criticise for people showing empathy - but it's become part of modern culture that many will jump on the 'sympathy bandwagon' for the wrong reasons and with their own agendas!

It'll be interesting to see the empathy shown regarding todays Iranian earthquake. I'm no fan of the regime or 'Armoured Dinner Jacket' - but i'm sure many who've no involvement/interest in global politics will have lost their lives or been affected.

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

For me there is just disgust at the perps........and even in my old age I still cannot under stand indiscriminate hatred...so if there's a genera feelingl of dismay/ shock/ outrage..

I'm in..

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down

Empathy in its self is a good thing but my problem is selective emotion and selective media coverage ie 32 people (12 children) where killed in bagdad yesterday in bombings and over 200 injured this happened before Boston and was mention only on a few news items but not after Boston so what we get is an narrated view of world news which smacks of some people are worth more than others ....

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By *awk_eyeMan
over a year ago

east london


"Empathy in its self is a good thing but my problem is selective emotion and selective media coverage ie 32 people (12 children) where killed in bagdad yesterday in bombings and over 200 injured this happened before Boston and was mention only on a few news items but not after Boston so what we get is an narrated view of world news which smacks of some people are worth more than others ...."

So very true , very sad

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Empathy in its self is a good thing but my problem is selective emotion and selective media coverage ie 32 people (12 children) where killed in bagdad yesterday in bombings and over 200 injured this happened before Boston and was mention only on a few news items but not after Boston so what we get is an narrated view of world news which smacks of some people are worth more than others ...."

Well said.

Sometimes it looks like that the life of a child is worth more than an adult. Look at the coverage given to the 8 year old who died compared to the others killed and injured. His troubles are over. For the injured they are just beginning. But children get more viewers than adults, I'm forgetting...

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I will be honest and say I do understand where the OP is coming from, however, I will also say I did shed a tear last night when I watched it on the news, as I found it very shocking and not far off the 9/11 event when every normal person just went along with a normal day to find themselves in a horrendous situation.

I just think I find it quite shocking that 'normal' human beings think that causing carnage and maiming people a statement for their beliefs is the way to go about things!

And for the little 8 year old to lose his life for that reason is just so unacceptable and despicable, I think man is our own worst enemy! And always will be unfortunately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different events effect different people. This is fogged by the fact that diplomats and ambassadors of all ranges (fake celebs, social media and news personalities and politicians) are obliged to offer condolences no matter the relevance.

I wasnt bothered by Diana as tragic as accepted it was. That happened in a time where so many people grieved publicly without shame or consequence that it seemed pointless for me to be dishonest. But I kept my mouth shut as I respect the dead and especially when they were inspiring and peaceful people.

I was shocked by 9/11 but I was more upset by last nights events in Boston simply because of the horrid pig attitude of people publicly having no remorse and even calling the victims FAKE!

What a fucking mess we live in now where it's okay to point the finger at the victims and scream that you dont care!

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Empathy in its self is a good thing but my problem is selective emotion and selective media coverage ie 32 people (12 children) where killed in bagdad yesterday in bombings and over 200 injured this happened before Boston and was mention only on a few news items but not after Boston so what we get is an narrated view of world news which smacks of some people are worth more than others ...."

Very much - When we do see documentaries of suffering in Afghanistan for example I think people do then empathise - but of course for the most part those things aren't considered 'newsworthy' to us so we don't see them so much.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc."

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news? "

The news isn't all about horror stories every day.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

The news isn't all about horror stories every day....."

Feels like it is - and how many times I have to turn it off because of reference to sex, rape, murder while my children are listening/watching!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

The news isn't all about horror stories every day....."

Not horror stories no, but there's a death in the news pretty much every day. You can't get upset by everything surely?

People die all the time, sometimes peacefully in their sleep, sometimes clipped by a d*unk driver. The only difference between the two is you're more likely to hear about the second one. I think that's the difference, we're told what to care about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What has happened did shock me and I do find it appalling, but I can understand what you are saying. People do jump on the bandwagon with certain tragedies and ignore others, but I do think that is largely due to media coverage...when something is put in your face you know it's happening and a reaction is to be expected, whereas if you never know the details of an event it's easier to dismiss it.

Having said that, I don't think anyone could cope if they took a personal interest in every horrific event that happens around the world day in day out so we do have to distance ourselves to some degree.

I think things like the Boston Marathon hit harder though because it's an event we can relate to. I've been to marathons as a spectator with my Gran as a child and whilst I couldn't imagine something like that happening, I can relate to being an innocent spectator at a sports event. I've never been near an earthquake or in a war zone so it's difficult to relate to what is really happening so whilst I will feel empathy of some description it isn't the same as I can't put myself in the situation so easily (nor would I ever want to)

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Unfortunately I am one of lifes softies and I do get upset when I hear of someone passing. Death is a big deal for me, sorry...

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull


"This' ll be devisive....Now it goes without saying that the events in Boston were tragic and a crime. I hope they catch who is responsible and there is a trial.

I find myself not caring less about this story however. I did not know anyone affected by the blasts. Neither do I know anyone who knows anyone affected. No-one killed or injured had any impact on me or my life, so I find it impossible to show any emotion on the subject.

I've seen people on the many threads here and posts on Facebook loosing their minds at disrespectful/idiotic comments that have been made by some, and can't help wondering why they're getting so worked up. Again over an event/people that had little or no impact on them personally.

I find it more confusing that people offer prayers for strangers when such events happen. Particularly as if praying worked, then asking god to stop people setting off bombs in the first place would have been better.

When Diana died and there was this huge outpouring of grief from people who'd never met her. The most the vast number of people got was the cursory "hello, and what do you do?" at an official engagement. So why the grief? She got paid for doing nothing, when bankers do that they get pilloried. Guarantee when Fred Goodwin dies no-one will be lining up to lay flowers anywhere, and arguably he would have had more direct effect on your life when it all went tits up a few years ago than Diana ever did.

I'm sorry, I just don't get it. People die in horrible ways every day, all over the world. Most people don't care because they don't see it on the 6 o'clock news or youtube. I think that's the difference. This event in Boston can be popular/trending grief. That's what I can't stand. Grief tourism. And people will judge me as heartless for not feeling anything, probably accuse me of trolling, without knowing me or what I've done/seen in my life. I'm capable of these things, just for people/events that affect me. Otherwise it's just garish pictures on telly to titillate the viewing figures. "

Its called being human

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By *adja_lazloCouple
over a year ago

Solihull


"Unfortunately I am one of lifes softies and I do get upset when I hear of someone passing. Death is a big deal for me, sorry..."

no need to apologise, as humans we are emotionally charged, if our emotions are working in order we WILL feel grief for other humans pain, if we don't, we are using our rational side of the brain, which means we have thought about others grief and dismissed the others grief or passing, ourself here, we would rather be emotional

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

The news isn't all about horror stories every day.....

Not horror stories no, but there's a death in the news pretty much every day. You can't get upset by everything surely?

People die all the time, sometimes peacefully in their sleep, sometimes clipped by a d*unk driver. The only difference between the two is you're more likely to hear about the second one. I think that's the difference, we're told what to care about. "

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

using this type of media is part of why it seems there are more crimes and acts of nature with fatal consequences..

we have it at the 'touch of a button' and its 24 hr with so many more outlets than when we had 3 or 4 tv channels..

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

[Removed by poster at 16/04/13 21:43:50]

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

The news isn't all about horror stories every day.....

Not horror stories no, but there's a death in the news pretty much every day. You can't get upset by everything surely?

People die all the time, sometimes peacefully in their sleep, sometimes clipped by a d*unk driver. The only difference between the two is you're more likely to hear about the second one. I think that's the difference, we're told what to care about. "

I don't need to be told what to care about, empathy is I believe a human emotion, I don't have to explain myself to anyone about what I feel and why I feel...

If you (The Op) feel like you are being brainwashed into caring more about some things over others then that's for you to cope with......Personally I don't have those worries.

I can think for myself

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

People who do this kind of abhorrent act can live and pop up anywhere, it pays to be vigilante in these days we live in... and have I have empathy for very particular reasons, of which i choose not to share.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Unfortunately I am one of lifes softies and I do get upset when I hear of someone passing. Death is a big deal for me, sorry...

no need to apologise, as humans we are emotionally charged, if our emotions are working in order we WILL feel grief for other humans pain, if we don't, we are using our rational side of the brain, which means we have thought about others grief and dismissed the others grief or passing, ourself here, we would rather be emotional "

As humans were emotionally connected to our families and friends. Possibly to a certain extent acquaintances too. So would feel emotion for their passing. But outside our circle we tend to be selfish and somewhat at odds with other nations/races/groups. Such is nature.

A rational mind will stop you running into a burning building to save a pet dog. An emotional one will have your arse on fire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the tsunami,trade center,earthquake hit..it was simply a case of glad it wasnt me..thats the attitude that ends up growing around the fact that people are failing to grasp...why we have people happy to hurt other people mentally or physically

sorry whatever I'm labelled as some bleeding heart liberal..I think empathy should be shared at a young age..a basic understanding of a life being worth living..and savioured

and really OP..if i put my life on the line to save someone who I dont know) my perfect example is the unfortunate woman who saved a young boy from a rally crash a cpl months ago, and lost hers instead...TRUE heroism), now if I sat back and just disregarded everything I see in a selfish manner, I think I wouldnt be who I'am)

the world got smaller, continents arent as faer away as u think...so its pretty much now opart of life we expect to empathize

and finally I'm sure I'd like to think on the other side of the world..there is someone caring about people here

as cynical as I may be, I dont give to charity etc etc..for my beliefs are that its misguided monies(theft essentially).. but I can still feel empathy for a dying child etc

I weighed up the diana thing and thought, well that is a shame, but as I'm not a lover of royalty, its just another person to me...no more deserving of special treatment than most, but of course..she was somones daughter,wife,mother..thats all thats sad about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

The news isn't all about horror stories every day.....

Not horror stories no, but there's a death in the news pretty much every day. You can't get upset by everything surely?

People die all the time, sometimes peacefully in their sleep, sometimes clipped by a d*unk driver. The only difference between the two is you're more likely to hear about the second one. I think that's the difference, we're told what to care about.

I don't need to be told what to care about, empathy is I believe a human emotion, I don't have to explain myself to anyone about what I feel and why I feel...

If you (The Op) feel like you are being brainwashed into caring more about some things over others then that's for you to cope with......Personally I don't have those worries.

I can think for myself"

I don't think I'm being brainwashed. I just don't care about events that don't affect me. I wonder why some people do thats all, and assume for some it's the whole facebook "look at me aren't I caring" emotional blackmail thing. For others there are other reasons. Religion telling you to care for example.

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes


"Totally agree Jodie. Would be interesting to hear the replies if u posted this same reasonable statement on one of the more mawkish threads(i.e. on the Scottish forum).

Basically the more media coverage,the greater the "outrage" .

"

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I loathe the insistence everywhere on the net demanding I 'feel' for this or that. It actually accomplishes nothing. If there were a charity related to it it might make some kind of sense but asking me to 'like' something, or 'pass this email' on is like emotional blackmail, as if I am somehow lacking if I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I shed a tear last night for those affected by the Boston bombings as I do for any tragedy I hear about. Not because it affects me directly but because these people (children or not) are someones sons, daughters, mothers, brothers etc.

But how do you get through the day then? Not watching or listening to news?

The news isn't all about horror stories every day.....

Not horror stories no, but there's a death in the news pretty much every day. You can't get upset by everything surely?

People die all the time, sometimes peacefully in their sleep, sometimes clipped by a d*unk driver. The only difference between the two is you're more likely to hear about the second one. I think that's the difference, we're told what to care about.

I don't need to be told what to care about, empathy is I believe a human emotion, I don't have to explain myself to anyone about what I feel and why I feel...

If you (The Op) feel like you are being brainwashed into caring more about some things over others then that's for you to cope with......Personally I don't have those worries.

I can think for myself

I don't think I'm being brainwashed. I just don't care about events that don't affect me. I wonder why some people do thats all, and assume for some it's the whole facebook "look at me aren't I caring" emotional blackmail thing. For others there are other reasons. Religion telling you to care for example. "

Maybe you're wrong to assume. Some people do actually care, feel genuine emotion. I dont have to give reasons for caring. I just do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the bottom line is, you dont have to understand reasons for peoples reaction. It is what it is, everyone of us are different, for me, I cant understand how you wouldnt care for whats happened in boston. But I wouldnt question it, each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure what part of your post to comment on..but the death of Diana bothered me greatly, very unusual for me as i generaly have no time for the royals, the difference with Diana was that, she was an outstanding human and gave of herself because she cared, not because it made the Monarchy look good!

I think the loss of a loving, caring, giving human should be felt no matter who they are!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I guess I'm just contrary in that the more I'm told to care, or it's expected of me then the less I do.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Hey we are all different, react in different ways, that is why each and every one of us is unique....xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess I'm just contrary in that the more I'm told to care, or it's expected of me then the less I do.

"

You rebel you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess I'm just contrary in that the more I'm told to care, or it's expected of me then the less I do.

"

Why do you feel YOUR being told to care? Are you not simply displaying signs of guilt because you think you don't care?

The news only makes you aware that these things happen, its your choice to care or not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People can't grieve or be outraged over things they don't know about!

Just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't make them any less human and any less important than you. Everyone of us has the capability to feel emotion and grief and pain etc... So when you hear of these tragic events its about knowing how these people and their families must feel.. its an easy thing to do when you can see past the end of your nose

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By *at2Couple
over a year ago

north Down


"People can't grieve or be outraged over things they don't know about!

Just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't make them any less human and any less important than you. Everyone of us has the capability to feel emotion and grief and pain etc... So when you hear of these tragic events its about knowing how these people and their families must feel.. its an easy thing to do when you can see past the end of your nose"
not everyone feels empathy or sadness over these sorts of things in fact like the people who carried out this attack there are a lot more like them...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the uk was devestated by a natural disaster.. Would u want others in the world to care enough to help the survivors or just leave them to it as afterall it hasn't affecvted them and we are only strangers to them?

That's extreme but many other examples.. U find out ur loved one has a horrible condition and u could get treatment in another country and can't fund it.. So you start fund raising.. Well u want everyone else not to care and help as your only a stranger and it doesn't affect them??

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"People can't grieve or be outraged over things they don't know about!

Just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't make them any less human and any less important than you. Everyone of us has the capability to feel emotion and grief and pain etc... So when you hear of these tragic events its about knowing how these people and their families must feel.. its an easy thing to do when you can see past the end of your nose"

See, why did you feel the need to get nasty at the end of that? I've been nothing but nice. There's always one who can't resist having a dig.

I watched the panorama programme on Korea last night. I feel more sadness for those people living like that every day in abject poverty and oppression. Those people now forgotten because of a bigger news story in a country that matters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People can't grieve or be outraged over things they don't know about!

Just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't make them any less human and any less important than you. Everyone of us has the capability to feel emotion and grief and pain etc... So when you hear of these tragic events its about knowing how these people and their families must feel.. its an easy thing to do when you can see past the end of your nosenot everyone feels empathy or sadness over these sorts of things in fact like the people who carried out this attack there are a lot more like them..."

To me that what makes life so sad.. And from what you say, those unable to feel for others are the ones capable of doing such things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People can't grieve or be outraged over things they don't know about!

Just because someone is a stranger to you doesn't make them any less human and any less important than you. Everyone of us has the capability to feel emotion and grief and pain etc... So when you hear of these tragic events its about knowing how these people and their families must feel.. its an easy thing to do when you can see past the end of your nose

See, why did you feel the need to get nasty at the end of that? I've been nothing but nice. There's always one who can't resist having a dig.

I watched the panorama programme on Korea last night. I feel more sadness for those people living like that every day in abject poverty and oppression. Those people now forgotten because of a bigger news story in a country that matters. "

I'm didn't mean that as nasty or a dig..

Maybe the problem is that you have something against america? U can feel empathy or north koreans but for some reason don't think americans deserve it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?! "

Agree totally with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?! "

Mistreatment of animals saddens me to.. Nothing wierd about that.

We should respect all animals more after all humans couldn't survive without them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Empathy sits well with me

A lack of empathy also sits well with me

False or misplaced empathy that gets loaded on because someone feels it is 'expected' doesn't

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Maybe the problem is that you have something against america? U can feel empathy or north koreans but for some reason don't think americans deserve it"

Nope. Just tired of one cause being more deserving of coverage than another. Emotional blackmail and people thinking there's something wrong with me for not caring as much as they do. Looking at me with horror and disgust (more than usual anyway) because I don't share their empathic abilities for the millions of deaths every day from natural and unnatural causes.

That's all. I'm not a robot, I'm capable of such things. I choose for who though unless they're so close to me I'm instantly affected.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?! "

I'm with you there Ben, normally only get a tear in my eye when I see a report about an animal (or a child) being hurt or abused - not saying I don't have some empathy for adult human suffering, I do think to myself "Jeez, how fecking awful, poor buggers" but it's always animals and kiddies that linger in my thoughts for a wee while longer - maybe it's because I don't know whether the human victims (adults, not weans) were nice, perfect people or maybe arseholes that lied, stole, cheated or took the Lord's name in vain for example whereas animals and children are generally just loving souls dependant upon (adult) humans for care and sustenance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?! "

Don't like to see either, but I think the extent of concern for animal welfare is symbolic of the fortune we have in this country. We can afford to be concerned for animals in ways that others can't. Having said that, the sad animal adverts piss me off above all others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most animals exist despite humans rather than depending on them! They're the lucky buggers we haven't already made extinct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Most animals exist despite humans rather than depending on them! They're the lucky buggers we haven't already made extinct."

what other things have we made extinct then? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?!

Don't like to see either, but I think the extent of concern for animal welfare is symbolic of the fortune we have in this country. We can afford to be concerned for animals in ways that others can't. Having said that, the sad animal adverts piss me off above all others."

understand what u mean, regarding the fluffybrigade lol..certain animals are deemed more saveable than others based on the cute factor.

I however, being pretty much entirely nature loving appreciate them all..even the most basic ones...maybe not earwigs tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?!

Don't like to see either, but I think the extent of concern for animal welfare is symbolic of the fortune we have in this country. We can afford to be concerned for animals in ways that others can't. Having said that, the sad animal adverts piss me off above all others.

understand what u mean, regarding the fluffybrigade lol..certain animals are deemed more saveable than others based on the cute factor.

I however, being pretty much entirely nature loving appreciate them all..even the most basic ones...maybe not earwigs tho"

Theyre horrible. Do they even have a purpose??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think we are so inundated with images and sound bites of all sorts of horrific happenings, that we end up with 'empathy fatigue'.

I get more upset seeing an animal mistreated than a human. Weird eh?!

Don't like to see either, but I think the extent of concern for animal welfare is symbolic of the fortune we have in this country. We can afford to be concerned for animals in ways that others can't. Having said that, the sad animal adverts piss me off above all others.

understand what u mean, regarding the fluffybrigade lol..certain animals are deemed more saveable than others based on the cute factor.

I however, being pretty much entirely nature loving appreciate them all..even the most basic ones...maybe not earwigs tho

Theyre horrible. Do they even have a purpose??"

Hmmm for causing the willies..other insects generally dont bother me at all lol..but really hate earwigs..in fact..I'm earwigist and proud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally understand that. It's almost become "the norm"

It's like when I watch these ads asking for money. I feel nothing.

I see an ad for abused animals and I angers me that people could be so cruel. Maybe that's just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In general people will jump on the sympathy band wagon because they think its the right thing to do. It's very similar to a lot of threads in here. X"

I agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's enough shit goes on in and around my own existence for me to empathise with.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

So all the people who have posted on this thread who say they disagree/refuse to have empathy with people they don't know, are bullshitting when they offer sympathy/empathy to those who feel "in need" on the forums then? Many of whom they have never met....Ooooh lots of sex, lies and bullshit then! I shall watch the forums a little more closely now, may make decent watching if thats the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So all the people who have posted on this thread who say they disagree/refuse to have empathy with people they don't know, are bullshitting when they offer sympathy/empathy to those who feel "in need" on the forums then? Many of whom they have never met....Ooooh lots of sex, lies and bullshit then! I shall watch the forums a little more closely now, may make decent watching if thats the case. "

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville


"So all the people who have posted on this thread who say they disagree/refuse to have empathy with people they don't know, are bullshitting when they offer sympathy/empathy to those who feel "in need" on the forums then? Many of whom they have never met....Ooooh lots of sex, lies and bullshit then! I shall watch the forums a little more closely now, may make decent watching if thats the case.

"
Wonder how many "I need a hug" threads there will be after this thread!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Maybe the problem is that you have something against america? U can feel empathy or north koreans but for some reason don't think americans deserve it

Nope. Just tired of one cause being more deserving of coverage than another. Emotional blackmail and people thinking there's something wrong with me for not caring as much as they do. Looking at me with horror and disgust (more than usual anyway) because I don't share their empathic abilities for the millions of deaths every day from natural and unnatural causes.

That's all. I'm not a robot, I'm capable of such things. I choose for who though unless they're so close to me I'm instantly affected."

How can anyone report on all the millions of deaths day in and day out? So that's why they don't get coverage...

Doesn't mean people don't think about what else maybe going on in the world.

But unless someone knows of a specific event they cant emphasise.

If your neighbour tells you something tragic your not going to ignore it just cos it isn't in the media are u :/

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

If your neighbour tells you something tragic your not going to ignore it just cos it isn't in the media are u :/"

well some people's definition of tragic may differ from mine. Death isn't always tragic, except for those directly affected of course. So I may feign concern to my neighbor out of a sense of politeness. But wether I would actually be emotional would entirely depend on who or what happened.

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk


"If it doesnt involve me or my family and friends.

Then I have no emotion for it.

Not that I dont care, just have more on my plate than I want, so no room for any more."

I'm the same with everything, not really interested unless it affects me or my family, albeit a lot of sad stuff happening.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Wonder how many "I need a hug" threads there will be after this thread! "

It doesnt matter...

We've all been through enough crap in our lives, at some level.... Anyone who is going through a patch, enough to want a hug, will get one from me...

I dont care if they are friends, acquaintances or just an avatar on a web page... The day I am unable to empathise is the day I seriously get help...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So all the people who have posted on this thread who say they disagree/refuse to have empathy with people they don't know, are bullshitting when they offer sympathy/empathy to those who feel "in need" on the forums then? Many of whom they have never met....Ooooh lots of sex, lies and bullshit then! I shall watch the forums a little more closely now, may make decent watching if thats the case.

Wonder how many "I need a hug" threads there will be after this thread! "

Femme, I am really surprised at you. I thought you realised people will say anything and be as sweet as candy just to get a shag!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Wonder how many "I need a hug" threads there will be after this thread!

It doesnt matter...

We've all been through enough crap in our lives, at some level.... Anyone who is going through a patch, enough to want a hug, will get one from me...

I dont care if they are friends, acquaintances or just an avatar on a web page... The day I am unable to empathise is the day I seriously get help... "

I agree...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Do you not think the ability to switch your empathy on and off, or to choose when to show it is desirable though? A paramedic doing triage at a major accident for example? Ignoring the screaming child who is in no danger of immediate death for the quiet adult who is about to bleed out?

I want these people putting emotions aside, not being at their mercy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you not think the ability to switch your empathy on and off, or to choose when to show it is desirable though? A paramedic doing triage at a major accident for example? Ignoring the screaming child who is in no danger of immediate death for the quiet adult who is about to bleed out?

I want these people putting emotions aside, not being at their mercy. "

I can see where yoy are coming from in this scenario jodie, there are times when,.in my job I must seem like a cold hearted bitch. When I have a patient who has become seriously ill and I need to do my job, and have the relatives crying worrying, but I try to explain to them,.and then when the person is stablised I then can give empathy and explanations to loved ones. If that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So all the people who have posted on this thread who say they disagree/refuse to have empathy with people they don't know, are bullshitting when they offer sympathy/empathy to those who feel "in need" on the forums then? Many of whom they have never met....Ooooh lots of sex, lies and bullshit then! I shall watch the forums a little more closely now, may make decent watching if thats the case. "

Yep. The majority say what they think they should say, Possibly with a hope that it makes them look intelligent or sensitive which in-turn may help them get a shag. Sheep spring to mind. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crying and sentiment are not empathy - the opposite in fact

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Femme, I am really surprised at you. I thought you realised people will say anything and be as sweet as candy just to get a shag!!! "

You objected the other day to someone impying why you post...and yet you are doing the same now to other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I totally understand that. It's almost become "the norm"

It's like when I watch these ads asking for money. I feel nothing.

I see an ad for abused animals and I angers me that people could be so cruel. Maybe that's just me "

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland


"Crying and sentiment are not empathy - the opposite in fact"

I would go along with this to a degree. I would also add that events touch people in different ways and a lot of the individual's response to a tragedy has more to do with the person's own experience of life, love, attachment and trauma.

I was sad for Diana's sons having lost their mum and it was harrowing to watch them at her funeral as they were still children and yet had to perform sucha big public duty at a time of their own immense grief. I felt sad for Diana's life being cut short when she was a young woman with a bright future ahead of her after years of having to conform.

I guess if at that time I had just experienced a loss myself, or if I had experienced the loss of a parent at an early age I might have responded in a deeper and more emotional way - so I guess I am saying it is really about the individual's experience of life that makes them more or less suceptible to tragic events affecting other people, particualrly when those events are public.

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