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What's the worst first message you've had

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Mine was. "Hey, come to so and so address right now and stick your meat through the letterbox and leave"

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By *olfandtazCouple
14 weeks ago

Bristol

WUU2, fancy a fuck

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Lots of imagination there

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
14 weeks ago

Basingstoke

It was something along the lines of would I be interested in hosting him and his dad for a threesome at my gaff...

🤢

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Omg that's gross. Why didn't he just invite his mum for the lols

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By *heGigglersCouple
14 weeks ago

Stourbridge (West-Mids)

Wuu2

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By *ympha LuxuriaWoman
14 weeks ago

La La Land


"WUU2, fancy a fuck"

Noted

I won't send you another message of that nature

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By *mooth shaftMan
14 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Had one msg today that said ...'hey do you know where I can buy any green?'

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By *herrybakewellCouple
14 weeks ago

Staffordshire

The usual bullshit of other men thinking they can show my wife a better time than me.

One guy said I'd probably end up crying if I watched as I'd never be able to satisfy her like he can.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
14 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Hi

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
14 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I'm going to call you Harley. You can call me J

🤢

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

1 guy said he wanted me on all 4s so he could lick my arse holewhile wanking my big stiff cock

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By *llxWoman
14 weeks ago

Near by

“The first word that pops into my head is slag”

lol not on the first message, cmooonnn. Blocked!

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
14 weeks ago

Leeds

E

Just that.

Mrs

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Haha save that one for the spanking right lol

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By *eordieJeansCouple
14 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

“Do you even lift”

It broke my heart 😢

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Must had ejaculated before finishing

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By *929Man
14 weeks ago

bedlington

A tv asked me to shit on his chest

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

.

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

One thing I've never understood

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago


"A tv asked me to shit on his chest "

Did you do it lol

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By *agatoXXXMan
14 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

I honestly don't remeber bad ones. Just block, delete, move on.

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By *929Man
14 weeks ago

bedlington


"A tv asked me to shit on his chest

Did you do it lol"

Haha no

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

I don't get first messages

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By *weetsmellingtreatsWoman
14 weeks ago

Gloucester

I want to smash your cunt in you fat slag

Blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Yeah I hate the ‘you’ll be begging for more’ if I had to guess they’ll turn up at the door shaking like a leaf

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago


"A tv asked me to shit on his chest

Did you do it lol

Haha no "

Sorry, i was just joking there.

Seriously my worst message ever was just a dot.

.

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By *929Man
14 weeks ago

bedlington


"A tv asked me to shit on his chest

Did you do it lol

Haha no

Sorry, i was just joking there.

Seriously my worst message ever was just a dot.

.

"

I knew was joking no need to apologise no offence taken haha

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

"Hey, we have kids in the same class"

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Or probably not turn up. I reckon half the people on here are the ones

Who used to call the numbers in the back of the news of the world for thrills.

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By *aomilatteCouple
14 weeks ago

Midlands

Someone offered to be used as a toilet

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By *issmorganWoman
14 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

One asking if I'd role play his sister and another from a bloke telling me he used to wank going through his mother's underwear drawer both blocked.

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By *r Mind CandyMan
14 weeks ago

Cheshire


"Someone offered to be used as a toilet "

Did you get all flushed?

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
14 weeks ago

The Continental

“How do you mangage to fuck anybody, fat fucker.”

I invited his girlfriend around for a demonstration, so I could show him how it’s done properly.

He wasn’t impressed with my response

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By *eordieJeansCouple
14 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"“How do you mangage to fuck anybody, fat fucker.”

I invited his girlfriend around for a demonstration, so I could show him how it’s done properly.

He wasn’t impressed with my response "

I bet she was though

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By *endalshaggersCouple
14 weeks ago

Kendal


"The usual bullshit of other men thinking they can show my wife a better time than me.

One guy said I'd probably end up crying if I watched as I'd never be able to satisfy her like he can.

"

We gt this a lot. Blocked single guys from massaging but have noticed even the guys in a couple giving it the talk about their massive cock, how they're in perfect shape, my husband isn't, has a small dick, come sit on theirs etc etc.

C xoxo

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By *ife NinjaMan
14 weeks ago

Dunfermline


"The usual bullshit of other men thinking they can show my wife a better time than me.

One guy said I'd probably end up crying if I watched as I'd never be able to satisfy her like he can.

We gt this a lot. Blocked single guys from massaging but have noticed even the guys in a couple giving it the talk about their massive cock, how they're in perfect shape, my husband isn't, has a small dick, come sit on theirs etc etc.

C xoxo"

Isn't it supposed to be mutual fun rather than a pissing contest?

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

"You ever get to Eatonton GA much?'

...Nah...

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By *ourtney CocksWoman
14 weeks ago

Cardiff


"Mine was. "Hey, come to so and so address right now and stick your meat through the letterbox and leave""
😂 classy

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By *airyboxMan
14 weeks ago

sheffield


"One asking if I'd role play his sister and another from a bloke telling me he used to wank going through his mother's underwear drawer both blocked. "

That’s just really creepy… no wonder you vomited

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By *ony MannMan
14 weeks ago

Las Gaviotos, Fuerteventura


"Mine was. "Hey, come to so and so address right now and stick your meat through the letterbox and leave""

Have you seen that stone, you put your hand in and if you lie the stone bites your hand off.....or they could have forgotten to feed the dog

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Haha either way I wasn't trying.

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By *exySiren01Woman
14 weeks ago

RCT

You are too fat to fck!!!

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By *MCMan
14 weeks ago

London/EA

Hi

From a couple who repeated said do not just message us hi on their profile and demanded you make effort.

Their status also was moaning about people sending poor openers at the time 😅

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By *lue-raspWoman
14 weeks ago

never ending banter

Things like..

Im gonna fuck ur mouth

Will you peg me

Whats ur address me n my pal are gonna cum fuck n fill u

Then when u say no u get

U slut u whore u fat fucking bitch, who would wanna fuck a cunt like u etc etc

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By *exxyyDy11Man
14 weeks ago

Darwen

Saying hi when I'm making a fucming effort with the messages or emojis as a response

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By *olinOfBathMan
14 weeks ago

Corsham


"Things like..

Im gonna fuck ur mouth

Will you peg me

Whats ur address me n my pal are gonna cum fuck n fill u

Then when u say no u get

U slut u whore u fat fucking bitch, who would wanna fuck a cunt like u etc etc "

When you say "No"...? Surely, you don't turn down such wonderful offers?

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
14 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

FAF

I mean come on, I’m not a piece of meat you know, let’s chat and drink tea for a while first

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
14 weeks ago

The Continental


"“How do you mangage to fuck anybody, fat fucker.”

I invited his girlfriend around for a demonstration, so I could show him how it’s done properly.

He wasn’t impressed with my response

I bet she was though "

Naturally.

I was a goddamned sexual tyrannosaurus that night.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
14 weeks ago

Essex

“Skank”

He then immediately blocked me. 🤣

Or the absolute copy & paste fail where he’d left the profile names of his previous messagees in it… I couldn’t stop laughing

Or my actual favourite. Many pictures of a very scary looking fella, in the background were loads & loads of ceramic clowns. You know when you just foresee yourself ending up in black bin bags….

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By *artygent OP   Man
14 weeks ago

Leamington spa

Noted, bin the clowns lol

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Central


"“Skank”

He then immediately blocked me. 🤣

Or the absolute copy & paste fail where he’d left the profile names of his previous messagees in it… I couldn’t stop laughing

Or my actual favourite. Many pictures of a very scary looking fella, in the background were loads & loads of ceramic clowns. You know when you just foresee yourself ending up in black bin bags…."

It's when they tell you they've got the bags ready and have worked out where you are, that it gets more uncomfortable. Blocks here are wonderful

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Any message is better than none for a male on here

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By *nya NeesWoman
14 weeks ago

Brum


"FAF

I mean come on, I’m not a piece of meat you know, let’s chat and drink tea for a while first "

Coffee please 🤣😘

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By *ord500Man
14 weeks ago

Glasgow

Must be mine am totally hopeless unless am face to face with potential playmate,need to see to hem Inthe flesh, really hopeless x

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By *exyScientistsCouple
14 weeks ago

Castlebar

Are you on the pill

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By *oiluvfunMan
14 weeks ago

Penrith

"Wank/suck fun?"

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By *ggdrasil66Man
14 weeks ago

Saltdean

Yeah, but not that fuckin rough!

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By *radleywigginsMan
14 weeks ago

northwest

The one from my dad was pretty cringey

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By *ames 13Man
14 weeks ago

Cronton

Just had this convo with a couple...

Them: "You on snap"

Me: "Yup"

Them: "what's your username?"

Me: "Why?"

Them: "To share on there. But don't worry, we are looking for someone polite"

Then blocked me; literally 2 minutes ago

Like wtf. Why would I give my snap immediately to a random profile?? I am clearly so impolite

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By *pinningfasterWoman
14 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Phone sex now"

No thanks

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By *arrington coupleCouple
14 weeks ago

Warrington

Too many too count but

Todays

What's your address and what's your post code

Empty profiles too.

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By *n at the DeeP endCouple
14 weeks ago

Manchester

"You look like u suk dik good"

The only frustrating thing about it was the spelling

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By *ames 13Man
14 weeks ago

Cronton

Not Fab, but the apps...

The amount of girls who open with, "...How much do you earn?"... is crazy

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By *ir tootMan
14 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

How do you shit?

Was my first

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By *haiababeWoman
14 weeks ago

North devon

Hi, I'm currently balls deep in my wofe but looking at pictures of you

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By *nee shakerMan
14 weeks ago

Canterbury

‘Asda car park now. Bring condoms as Steve’s infection has nearly cleared.’

I’d never met anyone in Asda (Dover) let alone ‘Steve’. I guess it didn’t bother them that I’m straight, as well!

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By *loriouscurvesWoman
14 weeks ago

wild west lothian

Would you take a dump on me?

No!

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By *YDB75Man
14 weeks ago

East Yorkie

Got one today “ Will ya let me sniff ya wifes dirty knickers “

Not even a please or anything

To be fair if he wants to sniff them then he’s a braver man than me

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 09/10/24 23:12:22]

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By *siancouplehantsCouple
14 weeks ago

K-PAX

"I would destroy you"

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