FabSwingers.com forum: perseverance or pushy?

By *ay W. Beau OP Woman
8 weeks ago

Wolvo

Do you find it flattering?

Overwhelming?

Does it depend on the situation and the person doing the persisting?

How do you handle it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
8 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Do you find it flattering?

Overwhelming?

Does it depend on the situation and the person doing the persisting?

How do you handle it? "

I don't find it flattering, I find it annoying

It's not overwhelming to me because I block or ignore.

It doesn't depend on the person but it does depend on the situation

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By *endalshaggersCouple
8 weeks ago

Kendal

Pushy are the worst.... and when it becomes obviously so then blocking is the only way.

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By *ot really famousMan
8 weeks ago

monaghan

"Do you find it flattering?

Overwhelming?

Does it depend on the situation and the person doing the persisting?

How do you handle it? "
....if I message someone and they don't reply...I block them...if they answer with a non committal message, I ask them if they want to keep chatting.

The minute I get a negative message..I'm gone

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By *ay W. Beau OP Woman
8 weeks ago

Wolvo

What about in real life for example a friendship and the other parson is really persevering in keeping the friendship alive?

Or at work? That one pushy colleague who gets ahead or pushes you to do better.

Its not always a negative thing.

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By *carlettxWoman
8 weeks ago

Essex

Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

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By *illy IdolMan
8 weeks ago

Midlands

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

Bruceyy?

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
8 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

I don't know where I sit on this. I've messaged someone 72 times because she viewed my profile last year or something. She's playing hard to get, but I've got plenty of messages left in me. I think 1503 is my record sent without reply.

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By *ruceyyMan
8 weeks ago

London

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

Bruceyy?"

It wasn't me!

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By *ot really famousMan
8 weeks ago

monaghan

"What about in real life for example a friendship and the other parson is really persevering in keeping the friendship alive?

Or at work? That one pushy colleague who gets ahead or pushes you to do better.

Its not always a negative thing....sorry...I misunderstood you. "

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By *carlettxWoman
8 weeks ago

Essex

"I don't know where I sit on this. I've messaged someone 72 times because she viewed my profile last year or something. She's playing hard to get, but I've got plenty of messages left in me. I think 1503 is my record sent without reply.

Hahaha literally dying here

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By *oo..Woman
8 weeks ago

Boo's World

Gets on my tits if I'm honest

If I want to talk to someone I will 🤣

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By *ase4122Man
8 weeks ago

Lancashire

This a tough one.

Women on here get hundreds of messages per day, so don't always see messages.

Sometimes they will reply favourably, and this leads to further messaging.

I've been accused of being needy because I've sent a follow up message!

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 07/10/24 13:57:38]

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By *issmorganWoman
8 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I can't stand pushy, it's a good way to get blocked.

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By *issmorganWoman
8 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Those who send messages implying I'm shy if I haven't responded make me laugh, no I just don't want to talk to you!.

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

I hate pushy people on here. There’s no need for it. If you don’t get a reply move on

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

Your call is important to us

,all our lines are busy right now, please hold,or try again in 12 months time with a new profile

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By *illy IdolMan
8 weeks ago

Midlands

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

Bruceyy?

It wasn't me!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
8 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Gets on my tits if I'm honest

If I want to talk to someone I will 🤣 "

Would get on mine if I had any.

Sometimes I wish I did. 😭😭

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
8 weeks ago

Newcastle

I find it incredibly irritating. Anyone who messages me several times or more without reply gets blocked. They even get a warning to remind them they’ve messaged with no reply and they still message anyways 😒

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By *LiamMan
8 weeks ago

Midlands

"What about in real life for example a friendship and the other parson is really persevering in keeping the friendship alive?

Or at work? That one pushy colleague who gets ahead or pushes you to do better.

Its not always a negative thing. "

I feel like I'm always keeping the friendships alive🤔😞

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By *ealitybitesMan
8 weeks ago

Belfast

A few years ago I got a message from a woman asking where I had been hiding as she was really impressed with my profile and pics and had never seen me before.

We exchanged a couple of messages and that was the end of it.

Six months later she sent exactly the same message and a couple of messages later she disappeared again.

Six months after that the same message claiming she had never seen me before. I reminded her of our previous conversations and she didn't respond at all.

A few weeks down the road she messaged again saying that she saw me comment in a thread about an upcoming social event and she would really like to meet me on the night.

I turned up, introduced myself and she didn't even acknowledge my existence and carried on talking to someone else.

Later that evening she approached my table and sat in the seat beside me to talk to a friend of hers.

I spoke to her once again and just like before she turned her back on me and pretended I wasn't there.

It didn't bother me because I was attending the event with a good friend and I assumed that was why I got the cold shoulder.

The very next day she messaged to ask why I didn't say hello at the event.

She was more of a pest than persistent and I didn't reply to her question and haven't spoken since.

Sometime else ignored my profile and pestered me to meet for weeks and wanted me to drive 5 hours to the other end of the country on a Sunday night to attend a club with her despite the fact it was an invitation only event and I didn't have a ticket and certainly wouldn't be driving that distance anyway.

Some people feel that because they are social butterflies with 100+ veries that everyone wants to meet them and if they are persistent enough they will give in.

I usually deal with it by blocking or completely ignoring

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By *issy_named_cTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

72 is a lot..

At least I engaged with you through the forums !!

Got to be respectful and considerate, otherwise you are a massive red flag to people.

I think trigger happy blocking is a little excessive, but 72 is off the scale, and I wouldn't have any qualms about cancelling any availability for that!

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
8 weeks ago

Tamworth

I find it irritating and it’s one of the main reasons I end up blocking.

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By *issy_named_cTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"I find it incredibly irritating. Anyone who messages me several times or more without reply gets blocked. They even get a warning to remind them they’ve messaged with no reply and they still message anyways 😒"

You must just get thousands of messages though!!

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

Screams desperate and annoying so I block.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Do you find it flattering?

Overwhelming?

Does it depend on the situation and the person doing the persisting?

How do you handle it? ....if I message someone and they don't reply...I block them...if they answer with a non committal message, I ask them if they want to keep chatting.

The minute I get a negative message..I'm gone "

Definitely the way to go as a single male - especially if you've done everything the right way. If so you've every right to behave with self-respect.

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By *issy_named_cTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Edinburgh

"I find it irritating and it’s one of the main reasons I end up blocking. "

Having just checked, I'm not on your block list!

Note to self not to message!!

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

....or a LOT excessive!

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

Yeah I think you just look a bit desperate really I get it because a lot of messages slip through but if they wait patiently for me to reply then I would find that more attractive

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

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By *carlettxWoman
8 weeks ago

Essex

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

72 is a lot..

At least I engaged with you through the forums !!

Got to be respectful and considerate, otherwise you are a massive red flag to people.

I think trigger happy blocking is a little excessive, but 72 is off the scale, and I wouldn't have any qualms about cancelling any availability for that!"

I hate blocking people unless they are nasty or rude

I can’t imagine sending so many messages myself to someone who hasn’t replied

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By *riel13Woman
8 weeks ago

Northampton

If I have said no and they keep asking it pisses me off... It's not flattering, it's worrying

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By *LiamMan
8 weeks ago

Midlands

"Yeah I think you just look a bit desperate really I get it because a lot of messages slip through but if they wait patiently for me to reply then I would find that more attractive "
as a man on here, do not send out messages. Unless you don't value your time. Because it's a waste

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

I appreciate a message might not get seen, so understand why a follow-up (at some point - and still TOTALLY polite and classy) might be totally reasonable in some opinions.

I've always blocked without malice if no response. It is what it is in most cases. I did once meet a woman n a club who'd not responded to a message sent some time previously. When I politely declined interest in the f2f situation she became irate and offended/offensive/indignant, with a 'How dare you' attitude.

For me if I wasn't worth it the first time, I'm definitely still not the second. Though it's abundantly clear some on here would disagree, it's important to retain self-respect and dignity as a single guy. Being needy or grateful just for being male shouldn't be a given.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Yeah I think you just look a bit desperate really I get it because a lot of messages slip through but if they wait patiently for me to reply then I would find that more attractive as a man on here, do not send out messages. Unless you don't value your time. Because it's a waste

Yep! 100%

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By *yreGuy99Man
8 weeks ago

Somewhere in Moria

I've had a guy see that my profile said straight, but proceeded to message me 14 times in an hour.

"I know your straight but" is the message I get the most.

Usually desperate morons.

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By (user no longer on site)
8 weeks ago

Could just block men from messaging no? 😂

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By *LiamMan
8 weeks ago

Midlands

"Could just block men from messaging no? 😂"
they secretly like the attention

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
8 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I appreciate a message might not get seen, so understand why a follow-up (at some point - and still TOTALLY polite and classy) might be totally reasonable in some opinions.

I sent my current FWB a message last September. No response and it appeared not to have been read. I didn't follow it up with a second.

We met F2F at an organised social earlier this year and have met regularly since.

She didn't even realise I'd ever messaged and I didn't hold the fact she'd missed it against her. What would have been the point? It wasn't deliberate.

These things happen. 🤷‍♂️

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By *yreGuy99Man
8 weeks ago

Somewhere in Moria

"Could just block men from messaging no? 😂"

The only reason I haven't blocked them is for possible advice through forums. But I think that will have to change.

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By *rHotNottsMan
8 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I quite like tenacious and persistent people, they get results, even a bit pushy if it’s for the right reasons.

One here it’s likely desperation so a bit sad

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By *8on33Man
8 weeks ago

winfrith

I try not to message so can't be viewed as pushy but then maybe thought of as not interested .

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By *tlanshiaWoman
8 weeks ago

Chatham

Pushy is a turn off.

Espically when I respond with a polite no thanks, and then I'm bombarded with questions why. Lol.

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By *andy CanesWoman
8 weeks ago

south

I always think slowly slowly catch the monkey is the better option pushy is an instant block for me

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
8 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Pushy is a turn off.

Espically when I respond with a polite no thanks, and then I'm bombarded with questions why. Lol. "

Embarrassing doing that. Dignified is the way to go - a no is a no. I have on occasion sent one further message if I've had a kind response to say 'My loss' and wish them well, but anything else is a bit desperate and needy.

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By *oralltherightreasonsCouple
8 weeks ago

WELLINGBOROUGH

Will block very quickly if they come to that, even blocked one guy because we could see he was looking at our profile every 20mins to an hour

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By *aven.Woman
8 weeks ago

Not the North West...

It's the line between thinking they're annoying or just not interested.

Ask me about meeting when we're less than 200 messages in though and you can do one.

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By *oralltherightreasonsCouple
8 weeks ago

WELLINGBOROUGH

Some are 2nd message in, even first, without even a picture in gallery

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By *exxyyDy11Man
8 weeks ago

North West

Pushy isn't attractive. Usually I have a 2 strike rule. If they don't reply, not an issue. I will message again later on, if they've still not replied after reading that 2nd message. I will not bother again and I will lose interest.

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By *oralltherightreasonsCouple
8 weeks ago

WELLINGBOROUGH

"It's the line between thinking they're annoying or just not interested.

Ask me about meeting when we're less than 200 messages in though and you can do one.

And unless it was someone on here we've just had one first message ever sent, would we be interested in a hotel meet, he did add two face picture at least

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
8 weeks ago

Newcastle

I had a guy send me a string of thumbs ups before in response to me deleting his message… so he got blocked. Pathetic. Just move on. If he’d read my profile he would have known he was not remotely what I was looking for.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Central

Context is all.

Here, it will depend on whether someone isn't sensitive and doesn't heed feedback and warnings. It's generally a sign of not being a good partner

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
8 weeks ago

chichester

"Do you find it flattering?

Overwhelming?

Does it depend on the situation and the person doing the persisting?

How do you handle it?

I don't find it flattering, I find it annoying

It's not overwhelming to me because I block or ignore.

It doesn't depend on the person but it does depend on the situation "

Agreed

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By *ellinever70Woman
8 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If it's someone I know that has maybe suggested something and I give off the vibe that I'm not completely closed off to the idea, then a little persuasion might just convince me

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By *hrista BellendWoman
8 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I like proactivity, but I like working on time limited projects. That does leak into my playtime as well and generally I do get bored and walk away, if people dilly dally with me. I prefer him pushing to spend time with me

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By *hilloutMan
8 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

That's not perseverance or pushy. It's unhinged obsession.

What could he possibly say with 72 messages?😳😅

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
8 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"Or perseverance bordering on stalking ?

I have a guy currently that has sent me 72 messages before I opened his thread

I genuinely hadn’t seen it but was put off with so many times he messaged

Little bit excessive

That's not perseverance or pushy. It's unhinged obsession.

What could he possibly say with 72 messages?😳😅"

I just told her I loved her 72 times. Fuck all wrong with that.

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By *hilloutMan
8 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"It's the line between thinking they're annoying or just not interested.

Ask me about meeting when we're less than 200 messages in though and you can do one.

Let me go check....nope, still ways to go 😂

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By *aven.Woman
8 weeks ago

Not the North West...

"It's the line between thinking they're annoying or just not interested.

Ask me about meeting when we're less than 200 messages in though and you can do one.

Let me go check....nope, still ways to go 😂"

Christmas 2026 we'll grab a coffee!

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By *hilloutMan
8 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"It's the line between thinking they're annoying or just not interested.

Ask me about meeting when we're less than 200 messages in though and you can do one.

Let me go check....nope, still ways to go 😂

Christmas 2026 we'll grab a coffee!"

A very optimistic estimate!😁

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By *aven.Woman
8 weeks ago

Not the North West...

"It's the line between thinking they're annoying or just not interested.

Ask me about meeting when we're less than 200 messages in though and you can do one.

Let me go check....nope, still ways to go 😂

Christmas 2026 we'll grab a coffee!

A very optimistic estimate!😁"

I'm feeling generous

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
8 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

It obviously depends on how hot they are.

Not attracted to them, then it's pushy and they should have a word with themselves.

Attracted to them, then it's obviously perseverance and makes me feel valued

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