FabSwingers.com forum: Curious Question- Don’t want to offend anyone

By *randMrs2008 OP Couple
15 weeks ago

Dartford

We’d like to ask any Gay / Bi Men this question it is probably a ridiculous one but it’s something which has come up in conversation between us and we just do not have a clue about!

We don’t mean any offence by asking this question and apologise in advance if it causes any, we are asking out of curiosity and have posted the question on here as by doing this we know we’ll definitely get a broad range of answers / opinions.

Question:

In a Gay sexual relationship Male / Male is there such a thing as defined role of a giver and a taker in the relationship, obviously we mean regarding Anal Sex and during a long term relationship? We understand that everyone has preferences but we’re curious as to if partners just stick to one role or swap.

Reading this back even sounds ridiculous to us but if we don’t ask we’ll never know! Lol.

Any explanation or insight would be appreciated by an apparently clueless couple who have nobody to ask.

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By *eatleon2008Man
15 weeks ago

Sulgrave

No offence taken, if ya don't know ya don't know!

To answer the question, it all depends. Some guys are naturally dominant, as some are naturally passive, but some may like it both ways. All depends on the dynamics of the relationship I suppose

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By *randMrs2008 OP Couple
15 weeks ago

Dartford

Thank you so much for your response you’ve sort of clarified what we were thinking along the lines of.

Another question if you don’t mind answering?

Question:

Is Anal always a part of a Gay Male / Male relationship, meaning long term? We have seen some documentaries where Anal never has happened and the couple only ever enjoy foreplay?

We’re not lucky enough to have any friends who are Gay or into the lifestyle to ask this sort of question so thought we’d try on here.

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By *rthur30Man
15 weeks ago

Warrington

Men who only give anal are often described as "tops", men who only receive are "bottoms" and those who do both are "versatile". There is a huge range of preference in between top and bottom.

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By *randMrs2008 OP Couple
15 weeks ago

Dartford

Thank you for your reply it’s really appreciated and has really clarified to us that every person has different preferences. I think we were under the impression that Gay Male / Male relationship dynamics were as clear cut as those of heterosexual relationships. We obviously have a lot to learn!

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"Thank you so much for your response you’ve sort of clarified what we were thinking along the lines of.

Another question if you don’t mind answering?

Question:

Is Anal always a part of a Gay Male / Male relationship, meaning long term? We have seen some documentaries where Anal never has happened and the couple only ever enjoy foreplay?

We’re not lucky enough to have any friends who are Gay or into the lifestyle to ask this sort of question so thought we’d try on here. "

There are gay men who hate anal and are more into masturbation and oral. Then there are way men who don't like oral and are only into anal. It varies massively from person to person

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By *randMrs2008 OP Couple
15 weeks ago

Dartford

Thanks for your reply.

Out of interest if you know the answer would you say that:

Bi men generally enjoy both foreplay and Anal equally and rarely have a preference?

A man who lives the life of a heterosexual and has a wife etc but actively seeks sex with other men would generally choose to take the role of Top?

Sorry for all the random questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

I’m a bi male, and I’ve both given and received. For me personally, my best experience so far has been as a bottom, but that’s only because I’ve chosen my encounters very carefully.

As a top, or as a man having sex with a woman, I prefer going fast, but as a bottom, I prefer the slower approach.

I hope this makes sense. Part of me thinks I’m just rambling haha

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

"Thanks for your reply.

Out of interest if you know the answer would you say that:

Bi men generally enjoy both foreplay and Anal equally and rarely have a preference?

A man who lives the life of a heterosexual and has a wife etc but actively seeks sex with other men would generally choose to take the role of Top?

Sorry for all the random questions. "

My personal preference is for mutual oral. Anal sex isn't something I tend towards (giving or receiving) but I don't mind a bit of anal play/rimming.

I know married men who only want to be submissive and be fucked. I know some who only want to top and be dominant. It's an almost unanswerable question because everyone is different and into it for different reasons.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
15 weeks ago

Colchester

I'm bi and dominant with men & women. Except for with my married partner, and I'm equitable with her. She used to be naturally submissive but over time I've helped her find her voice and nurture her personal growth to find her own dominance. We meet as equals in the bed room now. Occasionally we will switch a little with each other, but only by a small margin either way.

But when playing with others, I am always dominant.

I would say "soft dominant", as my style is to nurture, nudge, and lead the other person in to choosing a direction; in essence, getting them comfortable with making a step in to unknown territory and holding their hand to allay their fears. It's heartening I find to see someone "spread their wings".

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