FabSwingers.com forum: Why

By *isslush OP Woman
6 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back

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By *icolerobbieCouple
6 weeks ago

walsall

Bad judgement?

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By *oo..Woman
6 weeks ago

Boo's World

Some have a way of making you feel fantastic one minute and then blaming you for their lack of being around/treating you like 💩 another because they don't think they do no wrong.

Those people also don't know the word "sorry" either.

That's what I've found especially via fab.

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By *ittleLiasonsWoman
6 weeks ago

Birmingham

We are creatures of habit and it's easy to get stuck in a toxic cycle of attracting and keeping around the wrong people. It's usually something lacking within ourselves whether that be low self esteem, lack of self confidence or trauma that sets a narrative of being treated like shit is all we have ever known and it's what we deserve. It's comforting and familiar to experience the hurt you are content with, rather than take a risk of being hurt by a person you are happy with. It's not an easy thing to change but with a little self reflection as to why and removing those people out your life, things become a little more clear and you will discover that self worth where you no longer welcome these people in your life.

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By *ymrumMan
6 weeks ago

North Wales

Self destructive behavioural traits.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

I think with some people it can sometimes be if they didn’t treat you like they would you still go back??

It’s a difficult one. I’ve been in situations where I’ve thought I wish he’d message me as much another one does and I wish he’d say the things he says. But would i feel the same if he did? The mind is a strange thing. 🤷‍♀️

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By *ora the explorerWoman
6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think with some people it can sometimes be if they didn’t treat you like they would you still go back??

Reading that back it probably makes no sense but I know what I mean 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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By *rHotNottsMan
6 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back "

It actually takes a lot of bravery to control your own narrative, you would be surprised how many people prefer to let others do it for them, going back to the wrong person is one of many, ways avoid creating what you truly want, it’s easier.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
6 weeks ago

East Sussex

Maybe you feel you don't deserve better.

When people show you who they are believe them the first time

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By *oyahandrussCouple
6 weeks ago

Nr Rugby

Rejection syndrome.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
6 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Lack of self-worth, and having expectations rhat it'll be different this time

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By * WillisMan
6 weeks ago

London

U.S. decent guys have wondered that since the dawn of time if you figure it out let us know

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By *isslush OP Woman
6 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Ain’t that the truth

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By *isslush OP Woman
6 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Well do lol

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By *parkle1974Woman
6 weeks ago

Leeds

I don't. Once they show their true colours then I'm done. I will never allow myself to be treated like an option....plenty more fishes in the sea so to speak x

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By *ougarsilkWoman
6 weeks ago

Pleasure heaven

The ostrich effect...we avoid confronting issues and information hoping they will go away.

That and trauma bonding. Unless the trauma bond is broken the tendancy is to always go back

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By *ellinever70Woman
6 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Because we haven't quite evolved yet?

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By *isslush OP Woman
6 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Thank you for all the lovely advice and insight

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Herts

Because, if we are honest with ourselves, we never really left them. We don’t go back, we realise we are stil there.

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By *isslush OP Woman
6 weeks ago

wolverhampton

Yup

Indeed

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
6 weeks ago

Stoke

Not a chance, if anyone constantly made me feel like shite you're gone, and I ain't ever coming back!

Mr F.

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By *issmorganWoman
6 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Loneliness, familiarity ie better the devil you know.

Not thinking you deserve better, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons, it must be hard to brain that routine.

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By *issmorganWoman
6 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Break not brain.

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By *jnew34Man
6 weeks ago

Leeds

Remember, you’re the most important and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

You can be caring and fun and make other people smile whilst still focusing on number one! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, however they may try!

Getting back up and letting them see you will a smile on your face will not only brighten up everyone’s day around you but it’ll say a big ‘F You 🖕🏻’ to whoever it is that treated you crap and wind them up!

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By *jnew34Man
6 weeks ago

Leeds

"I don't. Once they show their true colours then I'm done. I will never allow myself to be treated like an option....plenty more fishes in the sea so to speak x"

Great way to be

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By *jnew34Man
6 weeks ago

Leeds

"The ostrich effect...we avoid confronting issues and information hoping they will go away.

That and trauma bonding. Unless the trauma bond is broken the tendancy is to always go back "

I feel I need to google this effect and understand more, thank you

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By *viatrixWoman
6 weeks ago

Redhill

"Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back "

Tell me about it… 🙄🙄🙄

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me, I keep repeating myself…

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By *iguy8919Man
6 weeks ago

Thetford

Some of us men and some of you ladies can be toxic. Please don't judge us all by the select few arseholes

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By *sWyldWoman
6 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Because our hearts are stupid

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By *eardedguy800Man
6 weeks ago

Kidderminster

Sorry ladies!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
6 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Because our hearts are stupid "

Hopeful. Not stupid.

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By *njoi_cjay1992Man
6 weeks ago

Northumberland

Low self-esteem much of the time

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By *8on33Man
6 weeks ago

winfrith

"Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back "
Must be the excitement that they inspire in you ,bad boys are your thing maybe .

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By *hat.coupleCouple
6 weeks ago

Dartford

That's narcissists for you! Why women return to these men time and time again I'll never know. If someone makes me feel bad they're gone, full stop!. No dick is worth all that abuse and my self esteem is high enough to know I can do better.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"We are creatures of habit and it's easy to get stuck in a toxic cycle of attracting and keeping around the wrong people. It's usually something lacking within ourselves whether that be low self esteem, lack of self confidence or trauma that sets a narrative of being treated like shit is all we have ever known and it's what we deserve. It's comforting and familiar to experience the hurt you are content with, rather than take a risk of being hurt by a person you are happy with. It's not an easy thing to change but with a little self reflection as to why and removing those people out your life, things become a little more clear and you will discover that self worth where you no longer welcome these people in your life. "

This^

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
6 weeks ago

Leeds

Why are we meant to hang around with people who make us feel like shit ? Huh must of missed that lesson, never mind ay, makes sense though now you mention it, maybe I’m a piece of shit but I don’t chill with people who make me feel like one. 🤔🤔🤔 interesting logic.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

Easy to say I know, but don't invest in anyone that doesn't give you the same back.

They know you'll always be there for their satisfaction, and whilst for that brief period you feel like you've getting something back, you aren't and deep down you know this.

Stop allowing this to happen to yourself,and walk away.

Believe in yourself xx

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By *ife NinjaMan
6 weeks ago

Dunfermline

It's loneliness. Effects us fellas, who were in toxic relationships, too

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
6 weeks ago

chichester

"Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back "

Weakness and poor self control ultimately. Focus your mind and take control

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"Why do we chose the one that’s make us feel shit but we still go back

Weakness and poor self control ultimately. Focus your mind and take control

This!

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By *riel13Woman
6 weeks ago

Northampton

I don't

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By *adyBugsWoman
6 weeks ago

cognito

We don’t want to look at ourselves introspectively and see the things that need changing in us that will make ourselves feel worthy or valued by ourselves.

We don’t generally react well to changes even If they are in our best interest. Our brains become accustomed to the chemicals that the negative emotions that bad people/behaviours bring us and consider them as “normal” and comfortable so changing to a positive is alien and rejected.

It takes a lot of time, therapy or self help to get out of that situation, so don’t be hard on yourself, just take it a step at a time and keep checking you are setting the right boundaries around you and avoid letting people cross them.

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
6 weeks ago

south coast IOW

[Removed by poster at 26/09/24 20:49:49]

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
6 weeks ago

south coast IOW

I almost lost everything because of a man, a career, my home , many friends and almost my family and once he had me and I had helped him through his own trauma he realised I wasnt what he wanted after all and moved on with his life. Saying the same things to his new ‘soul mate who completes him’ as he did to me. I’ve spent the last couple of years trying to rebuild my life again but it’s very hard and on times very lonely. I struggle with the loss of a career I’d spent half my life building and the loss of revenue and my own self respect while he enjoys his life as normal with his new love. Have I learned from it? In truth I don’t know but I know it’s changed me. A lot. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I just hope I never fall in love again or allow anyone close enough to have that much impact on my life again. I’m getting there but have a heavy weight where my heart use to be.

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