FabSwingers.com forum: Research

By *lacksausage OP Man
6 weeks ago

Birmingham Airport

Research lists some of the following as the top reasons women do not respond to messages on sites:

1. They have so many messages to go through and therefore want to take their time to respond to the "best".

2. They feel they deserve BETTER than that man who has messaged them.

3. They try to play mind games to make men think they are of higher value than they actually are.

4. They just are not into the man that messaged them.

5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE.

Your thoughts...?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
6 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Women find 85% of men unattractive? 😱

Strewth! That’s statistically fucked we chaps up a good’un!

Right, gayness it is then; here I come 👍🏻

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By *electableicecreamMan
6 weeks ago

The West

Probably mostly point 2.

Women definitely deserve better than the dross that is probably 99% of what lands in their inbox.

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By *agatoXXXMan
6 weeks ago

Mordor

You missed of "Only here for ego stroking".

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By *hil most chillMan
6 weeks ago

South East & Europe

I'm guessing the "research" was done by OP

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By *ittleLiasonsWoman
6 weeks ago

Birmingham

The most common reason is the need to create a divide between men and women. Yes some women are entitled and yes some men are arseholes but that doesn't account for everyone. People need to stop putting so much focus on strangers on the internet for their validation and attention. No one is a victim here, we all choose to be on a website where rejection is common, judgement is the norm and attraction is at the forefront of most people's minds. If people can't handle the bad aswell as the good, they shouldn't be here.

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By *r John WickMan
6 weeks ago

The Continental

"The most common reason is the need to create a divide between men and women. Yes some women are entitled and yes some men are arseholes but that doesn't account for everyone. People need to stop putting so much focus on strangers on the internet for their validation and attention. No one is a victim here, we all choose to be on a website where rejection is common, judgement is the norm and attraction is at the forefront of most people's minds. If people can't handle the bad aswell as the good, they shouldn't be here. "

Just about the most perfect sense written in many a fab age.

🫡👏🏻

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
6 weeks ago

St Leonards

Just about the most perfect sense written in many a fab age.

🫡👏🏻"

Nice tits too

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE.

Luckily most women can see past looks, then, otherwise 85% of men would be single, which is not the case.

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By *agatoXXXMan
6 weeks ago

Mordor

Just about the most perfect sense written in many a fab age.

🫡👏🏻"

It should be removed immediateky, and the poster banned for life. We can't have that sort of thinking here. 🙄

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By *wiss Army KnifeMan
6 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

Just about the most perfect sense written in many a fab age.

🫡👏🏻"

We can’t forget the fact that 85% of us are bots

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By *ora the explorerWoman
6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

6. Can’t be arsed

7. (Most common one for me). People messaging having so obviously not read the profile (this was when I had a proper profile btw)

8. Totally not for me so what’s the point in replying.

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By *onkoMan
6 weeks ago

here and there

Option 9 - the message is from _onko

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By *he Silver FuxMan
6 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

It’s well known from analysis of dating sites that 85% of women are attracted to the same 5% of men. I don’t doubt that there are similar stats for Fab.

Also a significant difference is that men on dating sites show more pictures and have profiles which are more attractive to women and what they looking for but on Fab a lot of the guys complaining just show a pasty fat hairy torso, cock pics over a toilet, minimal effort with profile and expect results..

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
6 weeks ago

Newcastle

In response to the findings of your ‘research’:

1. Agree - why would I bother replying to those I am not attracted to interested in chatting with? It’s unsolicited mail.

2. Often, yes that is true. Some of the drivel that gets sent is disgusting or lazy or crude and I do deserve better than that.

3. Disagree - I have no interest in playing mind games. I just know my worth.

4. 90% true

5. Also true. I am very fussy, I won’t settle and I don’t find the majority of men attractive.

In regards to your follow up comments… see point 1. It’s unsolicited mail. I didn’t ask for it. If there is no interest, why would I bother replying - it’s a waste of my time. No reply = not interested (see Fab rules for further ‘research’)

I would also agree with Nora’s points 6-8 as well. Hope that helps OP.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
6 weeks ago

South Down

"5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE.

Luckily most women can see past looks, then, otherwise 85% of men would be single, which is not the case."

"Attractive" is subjective. We don't all find attraction in the same things

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By *ustful_LionessWoman
6 weeks ago

Heaven-sent

Great response! 👏

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
6 weeks ago

London

EXCUSES!!!!

They don't owe you anything. Calling it an 'excuse' doesn't change that. 'Excuse' is just another word for "reason I don't like"

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By *moothdickMan
6 weeks ago

stoke

Wonderfully spot on and articulate

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"People need to stop putting so much focus on strangers on the internet for their validation and attention."

Exactly what I've done the past three years or so.

I used to crave attention and the severe lack of interest used to depress me something fierce.

Not the bad type of craving, I might add. Just eager and love talking to new people, especially when the back and forth is good. I suppose it was actually bad for me 🤨 lol.

Nowadays, I've adopted a "Meh, whatever" attitude to sites and apps. I've had ridiculous amounts of fun going out raving this year. I've seen a bunch of my favourite DJs and more to come before the year is done.

Couldn't imagine going back to how things were before. Sod that. 😅

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By *stwo60Couple
6 weeks ago

Hampshire

Jesus, what a desperate, dejected tosser…

Which will probably get us banned, but seriously????!!!!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Central

God knows who did and wrote up this 'research'. A man?

It's natural that you'd only be attracted to a small minority of people though.

It's too loaded about not having the time and it being an excuse!

. You can have the time to set up the profile but it won't have been spent to engage with the wrong people.

It sounds misogynistic, especially the part that claims women are doing it to play games.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

Can you explain number 3 in more detail please?

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By *electableicecreamMan
6 weeks ago

The West

"It’s well known from analysis of dating sites that 85% of women are attracted to the same 5% of men. I don’t doubt that there are similar stats for Fab.

Stats published by a for profit dating app so I those numbers with a pinch of salt

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
6 weeks ago

South Down

My thoughts...

1. They have so many messages to go through and therefore want to take their time to respond to the "best".

I don't get large numbers of messages but, yes, I prefer to invest my time in responding to those who I think are better suited to me and what I'm looking for. Why would I do otherwise?

2. They feel they deserve BETTER than that man who has messaged them.

This is sometimes the case. See point 1. Also, I deserve "better" than someone who sends me a crude message, who expects that I want to fuck them at any given time of the day that they happen to have a dose of the horn or be close by.

3. They try to play mind games to make men think they are of higher value than they actually are.

I've no interest in mind games, nor do I base my self-worth on Fab popularity. I'd suggest that the ones with ego issues are those who can't accept that no reply means the message recipient isn't interested.

4. They just are not into the man that messaged them.

Yes. And?

5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE.

Yes. And? Why would I want to fuck someone I don't find attractive?

As I said in point 1, I don't normally get large numbers of messages. Regardless, how I spend my time on Fab is my choice. Whether that's developing connections already made or bumming about on the forums or just browsing, it's my choice. If, for example , I have an hour free to mooch on Fab, and I get into a conversation with someone, or find an interesting topic on the forums, and that hour goes by and I haven't replied to any messages, I still haven't had time. I'm not under contract here. Also consider how absolutely dire it is to spend the whole time you have free for Fab to devote it to what you're NOT looking for just because some people can't accept that no reply means no thanks.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
6 weeks ago

East Sussex

Re point 5.

100% of women (who are looking for men) probably find 15% of the men (at the absolute most) they meet attractive. It should be noted and probably sent in a memo to *some* men that this will not be the same 15%.

The big news of the day is that women are individuals and are not all attracted to the same men thereby giving the majority of men a realistic chance, with the emphasis on 'realistic'.

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By *ddy86Man
6 weeks ago

Abram

Forgive me for being blunt, but that sounds like something straight out of an incel forum.

Do I get disheartened when a woman didn't reply? Yes. Do I expect her to? Of course not. I realise I'm probably at the bottom of a mail folder that seems endless.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
6 weeks ago

Cheshire

Point 3 is concerning, these are strangers on the internet not some colleague at work, friend or acquaintance. They don’t know you past your profile and your best pictures you’ve posted.

So thinking complete strangers are playing ‘mind games’ is a red flag as far as I’m concerned.

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By *vaRose43Woman
6 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

"Re point 5.

The big news of the day is that women are individuals and are not all attracted to the same men thereby giving the majority of men a realistic chance, with the emphasis on 'realistic'. "

Very valid point

OP this whole post feels like you need to vent and have a whinge rather than make a statement

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By *parkle1974Woman
6 weeks ago

Leeds

"Research lists some of the following as the top reasons women do not respond to messages on sites:

1. They have so many messages to go through and therefore want to take their time to respond to the "best".

*I don't get many but obviously will ignore the FAF messages.

2. They feel they deserve BETTER than that man who has messaged them.

* That's a load of bollocks, no-one is better than anyone else on here.

3. They try to play mind games to make men think they are of higher value than they actually are.

* I don't have the patience to play mind games.

4. They just are not into the man that messaged them.

* I am...sometimes

5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE.

* It's not the man but the message mostly!

Your thoughts...?"

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Herts

This isn’t ’research’ this is an incel rationalisation of rejection.

What worries me is why the OP went looking for or how he found this drivel.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
6 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Just about the most perfect sense written in many a fab age.

🫡👏🏻

Nice tits too

I agree with all three of the above points. 👌👌💯

I find it best to not give a seconds thought to messages that don't get answered and focus on those that do.

It's worked for the last 16 years so no plans to change that thought process. 🤷‍♂️

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By *ea monkeyMan
6 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

This whole OP sounds like entry level incel stuff.

It’s very pointed that the issue is entirely with women and the underlying reasoning is that women are constantly manipulating men, which simply isn’t the case.

This is all very toxic

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By *eroLondonMan
6 weeks ago

Mayfair

"This whole OP sounds like entry level incel stuff.

It’s very pointed that the issue is entirely with women and the underlying reasoning is that women are constantly manipulating men, which simply isn’t the case.

This is all very toxic "

•

I was going to write a magnum opus of a response, but in essence this sums it up. ✅

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
6 weeks ago

Newcastle

"This whole OP sounds like entry level incel stuff.

It’s very pointed that the issue is entirely with women and the underlying reasoning is that women are constantly manipulating men, which simply isn’t the case.

This is all very toxic "

100% agree

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By *eroLondonMan
6 weeks ago

Mayfair

"This isn’t ’research’ this is an incel rationalisation of rejection.

What worries me is why the OP went looking for or how he found this drivel. "

•

I think it's safe to say (presume) the OP didn't look for it or find it. It's wholly fabricated...to his detriment.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Herts

"This isn’t ’research’ this is an incel rationalisation of rejection.

What worries me is why the OP went looking for or how he found this drivel.

•

I think it's safe to say (presume) the OP didn't look for it or find it. It's wholly fabricated...to his detriment."

A rapid green arrow tour backs that up.

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By *sWyldWoman
6 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Probably all of the above as well as:

Insecurity I'm not good enough for them/out of my league.

I'm put off by what they have said, sent or something in their profile.

I just can't be bothered

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By *ustBoWoman
6 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Another op who throws a grenade in and disappears

But in answer to the topic. I don't answer because I don't want to for whatever reason,be that a profile that doesn't appeal to me, someone who thinks they are the exception to what I have written in my profile,or I just don't like their profile (which I look at before I open a message). I don't care if that pisses someone off or they think I'm rude etc. Or even that I'm playing games. (Which I'm too old to be bothered with on here or anywhere else ).

I keep my filters very tight so I don't get much mail my profile states I'm not doing any new meets at present. If people ignore that well that's on them not me. And when I am meeting new people I will still be as fussy as I always have been, because why would I want to fuck anyone I'm not attracted to.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

If these are genuine thoughts and not satirical, then it's sad that it appears people seem to have them more and more these days. 😕

All this online stuff has the ability to destroy even the most stubborn and grounded person, if unchecked.

Changes in attitude and expectation make such a difference. Care less, expect less. It's very simple, but does need a bit of time for adjustment.

More time spent taking better care of yourself, alongside focusing on things that make you feel good, will soften the relentless blows from this harsh wasteland. 😊

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Maidstone

"The research went on to say...

Your thoughts...?"

The research is very likely just in your mind. As it's a hook-up related issue so...

Please cite your source, organisation / researcher name, date of research, sample size, country or worldwide and your assessment of any potential bias in the sample.

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By *osey WalesMan
6 weeks ago

Surrey

Oooo i've got cake. 🍰

(Welcome to the top 15% of attractivness)

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By *lacksausage OP Man
6 weeks ago

Birmingham Airport

"Women find 85% of men unattractive? 😱

Strewth! That’s statistically fucked we chaps up a good’un!

Right, gayness it is then; here I come 👍🏻"

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By *neeyedwillieMan
6 weeks ago

Darlington

"This isn’t ’research’ this is an incel rationalisation of rejection.

What worries me is why the OP went looking for or how he found this drivel. "

Can you do any better than hand waving and insults to debunk his claims?

All I'm saying is a quick google search lead me to numerous studies done by various institutes that give credence to his claims.

But if you know something I dont....please cite your sources.

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By *hilloutMan
6 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I've never really given much thought to this, as approximately 90% of messages do get a reply.

The 10% that don't reply have read the message but not deleted. Filing for future reference perhaps?

In any case, I'm in no position to complain.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
6 weeks ago

Portsmouth

4 & 5 mostly

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By *ay W. BeauWoman
6 weeks ago

Wolvo

The ‘research’ has been stated, the ‘problems’ have been highlighted - whats the solutions?

Meet more people in the real world, rather than relying on online sites?

Going ghey?

Women doing more to be accommodating to men?

Leaving things as they are?

Psychological testing for compatibility and being matched with another person using AI?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
6 weeks ago

Leeds

Reasons 80% men don't get meets, because they are wingy self entitled & think with their cock.

10% are actually decent humans.

10% don't think any holes a goal.

Mrs

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By *aTina HeadTurnerWoman
6 weeks ago

Travelling

I would love to know the reason the OP has not responded to all the comments on his thread. Anyone got any research on this?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
6 weeks ago

in Lancashire

"Research lists some of the following as the top reasons women do not respond to messages on sites:

1. They have so many messages to go through and therefore want to take their time to respond to the "best".

2. They feel they deserve BETTER than that man who has messaged them.

3. They try to play mind games to make men think they are of higher value than they actually are.

4. They just are not into the man that messaged them.

5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE.

Your thoughts...?"

What's the source of this research please?

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By *eavenscentitCouple
6 weeks ago

barnstaple

I think some of these points are put forward by incel type men. Ms

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By *lder.Woman
6 weeks ago

Not Local

Or free will. We just dont want to. "You're not the boss of me" *shakes fist

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By *neeyedwillieMan
6 weeks ago

Darlington

"I would love to know the reason the OP has not responded to all the comments on his thread. Anyone got any research on this?"

Yeah (but please dont shoot the messenger).

I invite anyone and everyone to start by sticking the following in a search engine.

"45% of Women to Be Single, Childless by 2030: Morgan Stanley Study".

For those who dont know, Morgan Stanley is an Investment Banking company so it's an unbiased source.

The study in itself does not mention anything about what the OP said. It acctually has some rather feminist takes to be honest.

But it is interconnected to numerous other studies such as information drawn from Dating apps, Goverment studies, independant investigations and surveys done by numerous Institutions and Universities which do back up some of the claims OP makes, especially when it comes to online interactions between men and women.

So it does not matter if people dont agree with what he's saying or if he's even 100% correct because for all the forums full of people talking endlessly about it, there is data out there by legitimate research agencys to support the claims made.

What anyone chooses to make of the data is up to them but I'll say this much.

Sad truth is, if you go down an information rabbit hole and look at data recorded by goverments, universities, private institues etc there really is a growing divide between the genders politically, socially and fincially and there is significant birth rate drop happening around the world.

"IF" this trend continues and Moran Stanley is correct (and remember they're litterally banking real money on the fact that they are) we are witnessing the slow death of "family". That 45% of women in 2030...it'll be 60% by 2040...and it will just rise.

I dont know whats going to happen and I'll be dead and gone when it does but it's going to be a very different world in years to come.

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By *ewcpl80Couple
6 weeks ago

Scotland

In our experience probably only one in ten actually read your profile then message asking how we're doing.

Can't make the effort to at least read about who their contacting?

Can't make the effort to reply, and it goes round and round lol

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By *agatoXXXMan
6 weeks ago

Mordor

Here's a stat:100% of Zagato is bored of incel bullshit. 🐂💩

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By *ora the explorerWoman
6 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"Here's a stat:100% of Zagato is bored of incel bullshit. 🐂💩"

Here’s another. I’m here for what I want and I do fab my way. I care not one jot if people don’t like the way I do it 🙄

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
6 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

1. They have so many messages to go through and therefore want to take their time to respond to the "best". 💜 Valid. If I have 30 messages in my inbox and 27 of them are less than 4 words and or incude dick pics, I'm only replying to the 3 that bothered to reach out properly.

2. They feel they deserve BETTER than that man who has messaged them. 💜 A better fit. Different. Not necessarily better than.

3. They try to play mind games to make men think they are of higher value than they actually are. 💜 Yes. We inly actually get 2 messages a month that we ignore so those people think we're super in demand and unattainable. It's the only way us silly sleeves get any delicious penis.

4. They just are not into the man that messaged them. 💜 Valid.

5. Women find 85% of men UNATTRACTIVE. 💜 In a room of 100 or so people, it's unlikely I'd be drawn to more than 2 of them. So more like 98% for me. Most people aren't compatible with most people.

The research went on to say that the EXCUSE of "not having time" or being too busy to respond is just that AN EXCUSE. They had time to send the excuse. They had time to read the message. They had time to set up the profile. They had time to log on. 💜 You're not owed an excuse for someone not being interested in unsolicited contact. Do you call every takeaway that sends a leaflet to your door to let them know you're on a diet

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"the EXCUSE of "not having time" or being too busy to respond is just that AN EXCUSE. They had time to send the excuse. They had time to read the message. They had time to set up the profile. They had time to log on."

Yeah, there is a vast difference between quickly checking messages and taking time to write a proper response.

"Sorry, I'm busy." is short, but also somewhat pointless to send. It just eats that extra little bit of time a person might have in between doing something.

Who knows what their schedule is like and what random events have managed to get in the way.

If a person isn't replying, then I think we can all safely assume they're likely to be busy, y'know?

Personally, I can't stand having any notifications on my phone or apps. I have to get rid of them or obsess about it 🙄 lol.

Also, something I noticed people forgot all the time, on another place I used to visit:

Chances are, you're not the only person they're chatting with. There might be somebody who has been around longer and they're more invested in them. It's a very natural and common thing to happen, especially as we tend to go through the same beginnings of conversation repeatedly.

It's generally a case of simply waiting your turn. If things are going good, they'll reply in due time.

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By *rHotNottsMan
6 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I would guess 2 and 4 mostly ? It’s definitely not no.1 but this helps man’s ego to believe it

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By *eordieJeansCouple
6 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I’d like a link to this study.

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By *bxanfCouple
6 weeks ago

Shadow Moses, Stourbridge

If this is research, I will need your sources on the numbers.

Source: OP got left on read.

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By *aven.Woman
6 weeks ago

Not the North West...

The too many messages thing is easily solved, put your filters on when it gets too much.

I don't reply to 99% of them because I just don't find them attractive.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
6 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"I would love to know the reason the OP has not responded to all the comments on his thread. Anyone got any research on this?

Yeah (but please dont shoot the messenger).

I invite anyone and everyone to start by sticking the following in a search engine.

"45% of Women to Be Single, Childless by 2030: Morgan Stanley Study".

For those who dont know, Morgan Stanley is an Investment Banking company so it's an unbiased source.

The study in itself does not mention anything about what the OP said. It acctually has some rather feminist takes to be honest.

What anyone chooses to make of the data is up to them but I'll say this much.

I dont know whats going to happen and I'll be dead and gone when it does but it's going to be a very different world in years to come.

So out of 1000 women 450 will want me to leave in the morning? Result.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"I don't reply to 99% of them because I just don't find them attractive. "

Some people like to downplay attraction in a casual setting, but personally I think it plays a huge part in finding the right person.

After all, it's a base instinct to seek out people we find visually pleasing. There's nothing wrong with that.

As I've seen said here many, many times in the relatively short amount of time I've been here.

We all have preferences. Someone caring about looks, is as important to them as another who doesn't.

Differences are what make us interesting. Would be boring as shit if we were all the same. 😄

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
6 weeks ago

Sheffield

"In response to the findings of your ‘research’:

1. Agree - why would I bother replying to those I am not attracted to interested in chatting with? It’s unsolicited mail.

2. Often, yes that is true. Some of the drivel that gets sent is disgusting or lazy or crude and I do deserve better than that.

3. Disagree - I have no interest in playing mind games. I just know my worth.

4. 90% true

5. Also true. I am very fussy, I won’t settle and I don’t find the majority of men attractive.

I would also agree with Nora’s points 6-8 as well. Hope that helps OP. "

👏

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By *eilde HoarWoman
6 weeks ago

In a wax coated bubble

Definitely 4 and 5

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
6 weeks ago

North West

98% of statistics are made up

1% of statistics are mathematical abberations

1% might actually mean something

Source: the bloke down the pub (2023)

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By *lueLotusWoman
6 weeks ago

the wilderness

And then in conversation the percentage of attractiveness drops drastically further, usually to zero, with the odd flying pig briefly visible.

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