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best/funniest sex related song lyrics...

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By *ot30scouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Oxford, London

'Can you hear the music pumping hard, like I wish you would...'

Push It, Salt n Peppa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crack, baby, crack,

show me you're real

Smack, baby, smack, is that all that you feel

Suck, baby, suck,

give me your head

Before you start professing

that you're knocking me dead

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By *ot30scouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

Oxford, London

Oooh! Which song is that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oooh! Which song is that? "

Bowie Cracked Actor

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

"shaving off my muff for you"

whitney houston

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Went to a friends sons christening once and I'm not the best person in churches, hate the places. One of the songs was 'all things bright and beautiful' I was doing ok pretending to sing till one of the verses started 'the purple headed mountain'

I was so hysterical I had tears running down my face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You got your ball you got your chain,

Tied to me tight, tie me up again....

Who's got their claws in you my friend?

Into your heart I'll beat again...

Sweet like candy to my soul, sweet you rock and sweet you roll....

I'm lost for you I'm so lost for you

And you come crash into me.... And I come into you.....

And I come into you....

In a boys dream.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Went to a friends sons christening once and I'm not the best person in churches, hate the places. One of the songs was 'all things bright and beautiful' I was doing ok pretending to sing till one of the verses started 'the purple headed mountain'

I was so hysterical I had tears running down my face. "

That happened to us at my cousins wedding ended up in the whole row in floods of tears, glad it's not just me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my dingaling , chuck berry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Wena by Bowling For Soup is hilarious and pretty much.about wanking...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Went to a friends sons christening once and I'm not the best person in churches, hate the places. One of the songs was 'all things bright and beautiful' I was doing ok pretending to sing till one of the verses started 'the purple headed mountain'

I was so hysterical I had tears running down my face.

That happened to us at my cousins wedding ended up in the whole row in floods of tears, glad it's not just me "

Hahaha!! It was awful, the more my friend and I tried not to laugh the worse it got. We were getting awful looks from everyone else!

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend


"Went to a friends sons christening once and I'm not the best person in churches, hate the places. One of the songs was 'all things bright and beautiful' I was doing ok pretending to sing till one of the verses started 'the purple headed mountain'

I was so hysterical I had tears running down my face. you are just naughty

That happened to us at my cousins wedding ended up in the whole row in floods of tears, glad it's not just me

Hahaha!! It was awful, the more my friend and I tried not to laugh the worse it got. We were getting awful looks from everyone else! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Freak me ... Another level,. Love that song

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"Went to a friends sons christening once and I'm not the best person in churches, hate the places. One of the songs was 'all things bright and beautiful' I was doing ok pretending to sing till one of the verses started 'the purple headed mountain'

I was so hysterical I had tears running down my face. "

I shall never hear that song again and keep a straight face. We had that at my M I L funeral too

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

'How can I lie back and think of England, when I don't know who's in the team'...Billy Bragg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This bed is on fire

With passionate love

The neighbours complain about the noises above

But she only comes when she’s on top

My therapist said not to see you no more

She said you’re like a disease without any cure

She said I’m so obsessed that I’m becoming a bore, oh no

Ah, you think you’re so pretty

Caught your hand inside the till

Slammed your fingers in the door

Fought with kitchen knives and skewers

Dressed me up in womens clothes

Messed around with gender roles

Dye my eyes and call me pretty

Moved out of the house, so you moved next door

I locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall

I found you sleeping next to me, I thought I was alone

You’re driving me crazy, when are you coming home

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By *ll of a QuiverCouple
over a year ago

Douglas

Face down Ass up, that's the way we like to fuck

The dikheadz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry...I can't help but sing a long at full volume!!xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

This bed is on fire

With passionate love

The neighbours complain about the noises above

But she only comes when she’s on top

My therapist said not to see you no more

She said you’re like a disease without any cure

She said I’m so obsessed that I’m becoming a bore, oh no

Ah, you think you’re so pretty

Caught your hand inside the till

Slammed your fingers in the door

Fought with kitchen knives and skewers

Dressed me up in womens clothes

Messed around with gender roles

Dye my eyes and call me pretty

Moved out of the house, so you moved next door

I locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall

I found you sleeping next to me, I thought I was alone

You’re driving me crazy, when are you coming home

"

James

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You got a body like the devil and you smell like sex

I can tell you're trouble but I'm still obsessed

Because you know you're

SO HOT I wanna get you alone

SO HOT I wanna get you stoned

SO HOT I dont wanna be your friend

I wanna fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air oh yea I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He makes love like a footballer

He dribbles before he shoots

(JCC)

Every night me got to sleep me have wet dream .... Lie down girl let me push it up push it up lie down

(Can't remember who ... but never saw my mum run before I played my dads version in the street )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ludacris...What's Your Fantasy

LL Cool J...Doin It

Ginuwine...Pony

Just a handful I can think of!

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By *leurCouple
over a year ago

West Hull

Hubbys favourite song is Tom Jones singing Delilah especially the bit

"Why why why Delilah

I stuck my knob in her gob and she laughed no more"

Heard that through the bathroom door a few times

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Some boys with warm beds and cold, cold hearts

Can make you feel nothing at all

They'll never remember and they'll never mind

If you're counting the cracks in the wall

They're quick and they're greedy

They never feel guilty

They don't know the meaning of hurt

The boots just go back on

The socks that had stayed on

The next time they see you

They treat you like dirt

The next time they treat you like dirt.

Kirsty MacColl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it

Sex in the air oh yea I love the smell of it

Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me! "

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,

But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,

I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum

(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little dumb

She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,

But I knew right away she was really gonna cum

(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb

An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb

But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,

Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm

Where this Dinah-Moe

Comin' from

Done spent three hours

An' I ain't got a crumb

From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe

From the Dinah-Moe Humm

I got a spot that gets me hot

But you ain't been to it

I got a spot that gets me hot

But you ain't been to it

I got a spot that gets me hot

But you ain't been to it

I got a spot that gets me hot

But you ain't been to it

'Cause I can't get into it

Unless I get out of it

An' I gotta get out of it

Before I get into it

'Cause I never get into it

Unless I get out of it

An' I gotta be out of it

To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye

And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area

And she said...)

Just get me wasted

An' you're half-way there

'Cause if my mind's tore up

Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin

An' said my-my-my

What sort of thing

Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister

Who was holdin' the bet

An' wondered what kind of trip

The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more

When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor

She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet

But she could use a little ------- if I wasn't done yet

I told her...

Just because the sun

Want a place in the sky

No reason to assume

I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair

Got her legs in the air

An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'

BUNS UP!

I was wheelin' an dealin'

WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN OOOOH!

She surrended to the feelin'

SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED

An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed

With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red

Some drool rollin' down

From the edge of her chin

While she spied the condition

Her sister was in

She quivered 'n quaked

An' clutched at herself

While her sister made a joke

'Bout her mental health

'Till Dinah-Moe finally

Did give in

But I told her

All she really needed

Was some discipline...

Kiss my aura...Dora...

M-M-M...it's real angora

Would y'all like some more-a?

Right here on the flora?

An' how 'bout you, Fauna?

Y'wanna?

MMM...sound like y'might be chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?

Well, here's some more...

MMM, sure...listen

D'you think I could interest you

In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM...tweezers!

Here, lemme sterilize 'em...

Gimme your lighter...

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,

But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,

I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum

(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb

An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb

An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm,

Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe

Dinah-Moe

Dinah-Moe

Dinah-Moe

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Lock eyes from across the room

Down my drink while the rhythms boom

Take your hand and skip the names

No need here for the silly games

Make our way through the smoke and crowd

The club is the sky and I'm on your cloud

Move in close as the lasers fly

Our bodies touch and the angels cry

Leave this place go back to yours

Our lips first touch outside your doors

The whole night what we've got instore

Whisper in my ear that you want some more

And I

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

This really never happens you can take my word

I wont apoligize, thats just absurd

Mainly your fault from the way that you dance

And now I

JIZZ IN MY PANTS

Don't tell your friends or I'll say your a slut

Plus its your fault, you were rubbing my butt

I'm very sensitive, some would say thats a plus

Now I'll go home and change.

- Can't beat a bit of The Lonely Island.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Also look for "Fever For The Flava" by Hot Action Cop on Youtube. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lie down girl let me push it up push it up lie down.

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield


"

This bed is on fire

With passionate love

The neighbours complain about the noises above

But she only comes when she’s on top

My therapist said not to see you no more

She said you’re like a disease without any cure

She said I’m so obsessed that I’m becoming a bore, oh no

Ah, you think you’re so pretty

Caught your hand inside the till

Slammed your fingers in the door

Fought with kitchen knives and skewers

Dressed me up in womens clothes

Messed around with gender roles

Dye my eyes and call me pretty

Moved out of the house, so you moved next door

I locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall

I found you sleeping next to me, I thought I was alone

You’re driving me crazy, when are you coming home

"

James...classic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So Show me yours I'll show you mine "tooltime" you'll Lovett just like Lyle

And then we'll do it doggystyle so we can both watch "x files"

Bloodhound gang

The bad touch

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By *eddy bears picnicCouple
over a year ago

kidderminster

Anything from lonely island including jizz in my pants, mother lover, im the boss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Grace Jones,

Pull up to my bumper, baby

In your long black limousine

Pull up to my bumper, baby

And drive it in between

Pull up to it, don’t drive through it

Back it up twice, now that fit’s nice

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By *ust_for_laughsCouple
over a year ago

Hinckley

He's got his hands in my hair and his lips everywhere,

Oh yeah, it feels good, it's alright.

He's got his chest on my back across a new Cadillac,

Oh yeah, it feels good, it's alright,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many really, but these 3 by Prince are pretty good:

'Sister'

I was only 16 but I guess that's no excuse

My sister was 32, lovely, and loose

She don't wear no underwear

She says it only gets in her hair

And it's got a funny way of stoppin' the juice

My sister never made love to anyone else but me

She's the reason for my, uh, sexuality

She showed me where it's supposed to go

A blow job doesn't mean blow

Incest is everything it's said to be

Oh, sister

Don't put me on the street again

Oh, sister

I just want to be your friend

I was only 16 and only half a man

My sister didn't give a goddamn

She only wanted to turn me out

She [took a whip to] me until I shout

"Oh, [motherfuckersjustamotherfucker]

Can't you understand?"

Oh, sister

Don't put me on the street again

Oh, sister

I just want to be your friend

I know what you want me to do

Put me on the street

And make me blue

Oh, sister, oohoohoooow

'Head'

I remember when I met u, baby

U were on you're way to be wed

U were such a sexy thing

I loved the way you walked The things you

said

And I was so non-chalant

I didn't want you to be mis-led

But I've gotta have u, baby

I got to have you in my bed

And you said

"But I just a virgin And I'm on my way to be

wed

But you're such a hunk

So full of spunk,

I'll give you Head

Til you're burning up

Head

Til you get enough

Head

Til you're love is red

Head

Love you til you're dead

U know you're good, girl

I think you like to go down

U wouldn't have stopped

But I, I came on your wedding gown

And you said, "I must confess,

I wanna get undressed and go to bed."

With that I jammed, you fool,

U married me instead

Now morning, noon, and night

I give u

Head

Til you're burning up

Head

Til you get enough

Head

Til you're love is red

Head Love you til you're dead

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah, ooh yeah

Head, Head, Head, oh, Head, oh

Head

Till you're burning up

Head

Til you get enough

Head

Til your love is red

Head

Love you til you're dead

Head, Head, Head

(Ooh, baby, no)

Head, Head

Ooh, Head Head

(U said I could)

Head

Head

'Jack U Off'

If U're looking for somewhere to go

Thought I'd take u to a movie show

Sittin' in the back and I'll jack u off

I can't give u everything u want

But I can take u to a restaurant

If u're not hungry

I'll jack u off

If your man ain't no good

Come on over to my neighborhood

We can jump in the sack and I'll jack u off

If u're tired of the masturbater

Little girl, we can go on a date

And if u like, I'll jack u off

I'll jack u off, jack u off

I'll jack u off, jack u off

I'll jack u off

I only do it for a worthy cause

Viriginity or menopause

U'll have an instant heart attack if I jack u off

If u really really want to be a star

We gotta do it in your momma's car

Naked in a Cadillac, I'll jack u off

If we can't find no place to go

Girl, I'll take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back

And I'll jack u off

I'll jack u off, jack u off

I'll jack u off, jack u off

I'll jack u off, yeah

Yeah, yeah, I'll jack u off

Alright say, we'll put some funk on here

I'll jack u off

If u ain't chicken baby, come here

If u're good I'll even let u steer

As a matter of fact, u can jack me off

Yeah, that's right

I'll jack u off, yeah

I'll jack u off

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By *eyshamcoupleCouple
over a year ago

morecambe

Whip me whip me I think I'm cumming....... Green jelly - electric harley house of love

Karl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put your hands down my pants you will feel nuts

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By *eyshamcoupleCouple
over a year ago

morecambe

Girl your booty is so round,, put your arms around me,,and your pussy on my face..... Don't stop..the outhere bros uncut

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Rocks - Primal Scream (can't wait to see them this summer at wickerman)

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

30 seconds to mars - bad romance cover.

I want you open-mouthed

And on your knees

I want your love

Love, love, love

I want your love

I want your drama

The touch of your hand

I want you leather choked

Handcuffed to my hand

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