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"Boys of Fab, owners of aubergines. Advice needed. I'm seeing a guy ATM who's expressing concern on cumming too quick, which I'm trying to placate as honestly play is a fluid (excuse the pun) and enjoyable thing for me that I don't feel strongly about anchoring on crescendos or longevity. Anyway, he's also often losing erection too and I'm wondering if his silent request to "not cum" is linked to his dick's response of oh I'll go back to bed then? Thoughts, experiences? Anything as a lady friend I can do to help? I hate watching someone getting in their head. Bodies are temperamental fuckers and it's really fine." Sounds like performance anxiety...most men go through this at various stages ...it usually just goes away once he stops stressing so much about it. The only thing you can do is maybe prolong the foreplay and let him focus on your body ... that way his mind won't wonder so often towards " I need to stay hard....I need to last long....". It is most of the time just in a man's head. | |||
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"I suffered with this like many in their younger years. Now I have the opposite where sometimes I can struggle, but never lose my erection. I’m guessing he is putting too much pressure on himself, taking his mind away from the fun that’s happening and hence going a bit soft so to speak. He could chat with a doctor and maybe get the little blue pills to help with the ED and boost his confidence. Option 2 is you wank/blow him and make him cum quick, show him it’s all good with you and then enjoy foreplay until round 2 where he should last much longer and be able to enjoy the sex more without worry of failure. Good luck OP" Yeah I've Def no issue perking him up again, but he withdraws from my oral efforts if I am too good 
Yeah I'm currently exploring the question what awful thing happens if you cum early doors, like there's time, theres food, there's cuddles, there round 2. Let's see | |||
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"Have you tried turning it off and back on again? I tell you what works for me… ten pints of lager. (P.s, nice to read you again )"Ha ha yea maybe exit the room and re enter... What do you think? Ten pints and hard, what a man Sam Whatta man, whatta man... Sorry drifted off a minute on that thought  | |||
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1. After some research, I've recently come across a delay gel called Edge. It's available on Amazon and elsewhere online. He needs to apply just a drop or two at least one hour before play. Apparently it massively helps him to not cum prematurely - unfortunately I haven't been able to test it properly It should have no taste either.
2. If you are indeed fluid, extend the play to accommodate him cumming the first time, continue with other stuff then look to go back to intercourse after he's back in action.
A lot of the times the issue with PE is when there's an expectation that the play ends as soon as the guy cums. | |||
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"I suffered with this like many in their younger years. Now I have the opposite where sometimes I can struggle, but never lose my erection. I’m guessing he is putting too much pressure on himself, taking his mind away from the fun that’s happening and hence going a bit soft so to speak. He could chat with a doctor and maybe get the little blue pills to help with the ED and boost his confidence. Option 2 is you wank/blow him and make him cum quick, show him it’s all good with you and then enjoy foreplay until round 2 where he should last much longer and be able to enjoy the sex more without worry of failure. Good luck OP Yeah I've Def no issue perking him up again, but he withdraws from my oral efforts if I am too good
Yeah I'm currently exploring the question what awful thing happens if you cum early doors, like there's time, theres food, there's cuddles, there round 2. Let's see"There are also different positions you can try, general but not for all guys rule is we take longer to cum with the lady on top, you could also use lube which reduces the grip and friction and may give him a good few extra minutes in this fun stick. | |||
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"Boys of Fab, owners of aubergines. Advice needed. I'm seeing a guy ATM who's expressing concern on cumming too quick, which I'm trying to placate as honestly play is a fluid (excuse the pun) and enjoyable thing for me that I don't feel strongly about anchoring on crescendos or longevity. Anyway, he's also often losing erection too and I'm wondering if his silent request to "not cum" is linked to his dick's response of oh I'll go back to bed then? Thoughts, experiences? Anything as a lady friend I can do to help? I hate watching someone getting in their head. Bodies are temperamental fuckers and it's really fine. Sounds like performance anxiety...most men go through this at various stages ...it usually just goes away once he stops stressing so much about it. The only thing you can do is maybe prolong the foreplay and let him focus on your body ... that way his mind won't wonder so often towards " I need to stay hard....I need to last long....". It is most of the time just in a man's head." | |||
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"Love the honesty, understanding and kindness your showing OP. It’s refreshing - hopefully he knows this." Thank you, I try | |||
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"Take it as a compliment, he's probably flustered he gets a chance with you
1. After some research, I've recently come across a delay gel called Edge. It's available on Amazon and elsewhere online. He needs to apply just a drop or two at least one hour before play. Apparently it massively helps him to not cum prematurely - unfortunately I haven't been able to test it properly It should have no taste either.
2. If you are indeed fluid, extend the play to accommodate him cumming the first time, continue with other stuff then look to go back to intercourse after he's back in action.
A lot of the times the issue with PE is when there's an expectation that the play ends as soon as the guy cums."Def trying to make 2 the default expectation. Thanks for the tip on Edge, will check out... Although prob a bit early doors to turn up with it with a grin ha haaa | |||
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"Boys of Fab, owners of aubergines. Advice needed. I'm seeing a guy ATM who's expressing concern on cumming too quick, which I'm trying to placate as honestly play is a fluid (excuse the pun) and enjoyable thing for me that I don't feel strongly about anchoring on crescendos or longevity. Anyway, he's also often losing erection too and I'm wondering if his silent request to "not cum" is linked to his dick's response of oh I'll go back to bed then? Thoughts, experiences? Anything as a lady friend I can do to help? I hate watching someone getting in their head. Bodies are temperamental fuckers and it's really fine." Can he not just cum whenever it arrives? If he's properly into it, he'll soon be back up and running for a second, longer lasting go. | |||
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"I suffered with this like many in their younger years. Now I have the opposite where sometimes I can struggle, but never lose my erection. I’m guessing he is putting too much pressure on himself, taking his mind away from the fun that’s happening and hence going a bit soft so to speak. He could chat with a doctor and maybe get the little blue pills to help with the ED and boost his confidence. Option 2 is you wank/blow him and make him cum quick, show him it’s all good with you and then enjoy foreplay until round 2 where he should last much longer and be able to enjoy the sex more without worry of failure. Good luck OP Yeah I've Def no issue perking him up again, but he withdraws from my oral efforts if I am too good
Yeah I'm currently exploring the question what awful thing happens if you cum early doors, like there's time, theres food, there's cuddles, there round 2. Let's see
There are also different positions you can try, general but not for all guys rule is we take longer to cum with the lady on top, you could also use lube which reduces the grip and friction and may give him a good few extra minutes in this fun stick."Yay to top 
Although that I think needs even more blood support than regular as you can feel yourself better than me, so unless he's pretty hard, it fucks up pretty quick.
Lubes a good shout though, hadn't thought of that | |||
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"Boys of Fab, owners of aubergines. Advice needed. I'm seeing a guy ATM who's expressing concern on cumming too quick, which I'm trying to placate as honestly play is a fluid (excuse the pun) and enjoyable thing for me that I don't feel strongly about anchoring on crescendos or longevity. Anyway, he's also often losing erection too and I'm wondering if his silent request to "not cum" is linked to his dick's response of oh I'll go back to bed then? Thoughts, experiences? Anything as a lady friend I can do to help? I hate watching someone getting in their head. Bodies are temperamental fuckers and it's really fine. Can he not just cum whenever it arrives? If he's properly into it, he'll soon be back up and running for a second, longer lasting go. " My primary point M. But boys still get all "but you haven't cum" or "I'm a shit lover" or "why am I performing like a teenager" Just cum.... I like it | |||
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"Thanks for the tip on Edge, will check out... Although prob a bit early doors to turn up with it with a grin ha haaa" You sound refreshingly sensible. I'm sure you've got enough EQ to bring it up with him in a supportive and non-offensive way. It could be a gamechanger. Depending on whether you play safe or not / whether you're on BC... but for me, for example, creampie eating after I've cum or any foot play is a sure way to get me going away. Find out what his kink is. | |||
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"3. If you are not allergic to latex, there are condoms with delay gels in them. For example Durex do condoms called Extended Pleasure which contain a drop of gel inside the condom which gets on his tip when he wears the condom." I'm not and also great shout... | |||
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"Boys of Fab, owners of aubergines. Advice needed. I'm seeing a guy ATM who's expressing concern on cumming too quick, which I'm trying to placate as honestly play is a fluid (excuse the pun) and enjoyable thing for me that I don't feel strongly about anchoring on crescendos or longevity. Anyway, he's also often losing erection too and I'm wondering if his silent request to "not cum" is linked to his dick's response of oh I'll go back to bed then? Thoughts, experiences? Anything as a lady friend I can do to help? I hate watching someone getting in their head. Bodies are temperamental fuckers and it's really fine. Can he not just cum whenever it arrives? If he's properly into it, he'll soon be back up and running for a second, longer lasting go. My primary point M. But boys still get all "but you haven't cum" or "I'm a shit lover" or "why am I performing like a teenager" Just cum.... I like it "Exactly that: If I'm doing my job right, you get several orgasms. I can comfortably manage two. After that, I can keep going, but I'm quite unlikely to cum a third time without stopping for a rest  | |||
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"Love the honesty, understanding and kindness your showing OP. It’s refreshing - hopefully he knows this." • Absolutely. ☮️ And OP, it's good to read you again. 🦋 | |||
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"I know certain cock rings can help with this, too. Maybe worth a try? " Yeah, again one too gently suggest...  | |||
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"Love the honesty, understanding and kindness your showing OP. It’s refreshing - hopefully he knows this. • Absolutely. ☮️ And OP, it's good to read you again. 🦋" Ha ha everyone so happy to read me, only the periphery of my talents my dear  | |||
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"I thought I had ED, because this happens often with me. Can be absolutely in the moment, really enjoying everything and then its gone. For years, I used to get really upset about it. More disappointed that I couldn't finish for whomever I was with at the time. But around 3 years ago (or thereabouts, I have no real recollection of time lol), I learned that it's actually my ADHD which causes it. My mind wanders at the best of times and it'll happen during sex. Last time, I was with someone and Tiger King was on in the background. Due to ADHD, I hear everything all the time, all at once, at the same volume. So it's impossible to ignore external sounds. I lost focus entirely, due to Joe Exotic's dulcet tones. 😂 Thankfully we had a good laugh about it and didn't put on Tiger King again. Nowadays, I don't care if it happens. It's just part of life and I now make up for it by giving lots and lots of attention before and after. That's the other thing. Whether or not a man loses his erection or cums, that doesn't mean that the fun has to stop there. Keep playing, then maybe try again if things level out. I've had some luck the second and third time around. Losing a stiffy doesn't need to be the annoyance it seems. See if you can talk to him about not caring and just having fun. It's not going to be perfect every time anyhow. Chasing perfection is a hollow pursuit and acceptance that something might or might not happen is half of the fun. 😊" Oh yes ADHD got me in so much trouble in bed too many time | |||
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"I thought I had ED, because this happens often with me. Can be absolutely in the moment, really enjoying everything and then its gone. For years, I used to get really upset about it. More disappointed that I couldn't finish for whomever I was with at the time. But around 3 years ago (or thereabouts, I have no real recollection of time lol), I learned that it's actually my ADHD which causes it. My mind wanders at the best of times and it'll happen during sex. Last time, I was with someone and Tiger King was on in the background. Due to ADHD, I hear everything all the time, all at once, at the same volume. So it's impossible to ignore external sounds. I lost focus entirely, due to Joe Exotic's dulcet tones. 😂 Thankfully we had a good laugh about it and didn't put on Tiger King again. Nowadays, I don't care if it happens. It's just part of life and I now make up for it by giving lots and lots of attention before and after. That's the other thing. Whether or not a man loses his erection or cums, that doesn't mean that the fun has to stop there. Keep playing, then maybe try again if things level out. I've had some luck the second and third time around. Losing a stiffy doesn't need to be the annoyance it seems. See if you can talk to him about not caring and just having fun. It's not going to be perfect every time anyhow. Chasing perfection is a hollow pursuit and acceptance that something might or might not happen is half of the fun. 😊" Firstly, thank you for such a candid share Kevin. Super interesting on the ADHD. We are all such individual creature eh! Yeah I'm managing to hold a space that we remain tactile and in play. But I'm now 3 meets in and it's both not improved with my efforts to take the pressure off and equally he's now a little more entrenched in fuck this problem may be permanent. Hence my reach out. But thank you everyone, Fab as always is such a great space for these types of ponders xx | |||
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"Love the honesty, understanding and kindness your showing OP. It’s refreshing - hopefully he knows this. • Absolutely. ☮️ And OP, it's good to read you again. 🦋 · Ha ha everyone so happy to read me, only the periphery of my talents my dear "• I'll take you to a clairvoyant one day. It's in a Romany encampment where they brew and read tea leaves. | |||
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"To an extended is normal and happens to all men in some point. I think a conversation about it will help. If it doesn't bother you make sure that he knows about it. For me that was think that helped. Lot of erectal problems are psychological. You might try what was mentioned earlier let him let some steam out early and continue with foreplay. Also if you sending lot of naughty messages that can make him edge so when it come to real world fun it can make him cum faster. Im saying that from experience " Ha haaa ok I'll watch out on this pics lol Yeah we're chatting. It's sometimes hard to reassure a problem without simultaneously saying it is a problem or worse sounding condescending. Like oh you poor thing, don't you worry about that But yeah treading gently through | |||
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"Sounds like you’re doing all the right things, unfortunately if you’re in your head sometimes you can just lose an erection quite easily. I’ve had times when I have lasted ages and others I’ve finished too quick for my liking. It’s very much a mental thing at times there can be many factors with that. All you can do in reality is try and revive the erection but I’m guessing if he’s getting frustrated at going soft then he’s gonna struggle because of the mental anguish. Talking about it and reiterating it’s not an issue is the best thing, hopefully he can take that on board and that’ll help his sexual performance. There’s lidocaine gels and condoms that reduce feeling that could help reduce his sensation although that can then make it harder to get an erection so that might not be the best idea but worth a go." Yes the too aroused not at all aroused pendulum is not making solutions easy  | |||
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"Why don’t you practice edging him - get him close and then slow it down, wait a few seconds and then start again. It will help to realise he can control it and he doesn’t have to worry. I know from personal experience that if I am liable to cum quickly then just a quick slow down (maybe just a little body position shift or something) will be enough to delay me cumming and then I will be on it for ages." Thanks R... I'm going super slow in any of my efforts, I see the panic in his eyes if I don't ha haaa Seriously though, yeah edging efforts in play | |||
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"Firstly, thank you for such a candid share Kevin. Super interesting on the ADHD. We are all such individual creature eh!" Oh, you're very welcome. Happy to share anything with anyone. 😊 And we sure are! "Yeah I'm managing to hold a space that we remain tactile and in play. But I'm now 3 meets in and it's both not improved with my efforts to take the pressure off and equally he's now a little more entrenched in fuck this problem may be permanent. Hence my reach out." The thing that made the largest difference for me (and continues to be positive), is research. Instead of feeling bad and not knowing, I went down a rabbit hole, soaking up what information I could about ADHD mostly. But they're connected, so it still helped quite a lot. There are tons of papers and bits of info on ED causes and treatments. Could even end up just being nerves, as the majority of ED cases are from psychological factors. Performance anxiety is a very common thing, especially with men. I think porn has played a big part in this, as we often don't see the constant breaks that porn performers take while filming and try to live up to their final cut performance. But yeah, I always say knowledge is power. Maybe have a look together, so he has some support, if you're able to provide that? "But thank you everyone, Fab as always is such a great space for these types of ponders xx" It really is. Although things have been quiet (and it's early days yet, no illusions here lol), the forums have been both entertaining and informative. 😄 | |||
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"The mind can definitely have an impact on this, over think it and get a droopy wink!! also look at lifestyle, stress, lack of sleep, diet and weight as well as alcohol consumption. Best advice keep supporting him and distract his mind by encouraging him to focus on the moment. " | |||
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"Has he tried viagra? I reckon that would help with both of these concerns for 🍵 🐒 " I'd imagine a man never tells | |||
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"Has he tried viagra? I reckon that would help with both of these concerns for 🍵 🐒 I'd imagine a man never tells "He could try another penis. I am willing to lend it out. I'd want it back though. | |||
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"Has he tried viagra? I reckon that would help with both of these concerns for 🍵 🐒 I'd imagine a man never tells
He could try another penis. I am willing to lend it out. I'd want it back though."Ha ha a kind offer there Foxy | |||
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"This totally is a mental thing and not a physical problem. He has it in his head that he will cum too fast and as a result he does. You just need to be understanding and help him as it is only a blip.... he needs to learn to find ways to take the pressure off himself. I recommend getting him to take a viagra, this will take one pressure off and will build his confidence again as he will more likely be able to have a round 2 if needed" | |||
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"Boys of Fab, owners of aubergines. Advice needed. I'm seeing a guy ATM who's expressing concern on cumming too quick, which I'm trying to placate as honestly play is a fluid (excuse the pun) and enjoyable thing for me that I don't feel strongly about anchoring on crescendos or longevity. Anyway, he's also often losing erection too and I'm wondering if his silent request to "not cum" is linked to his dick's response of oh I'll go back to bed then? Thoughts, experiences? Anything as a lady friend I can do to help? I hate watching someone getting in their head. Bodies are temperamental fuckers and it's really fine." Does he watch a lot of porn? | |||
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"Sub question Porn Why does watching too much porn cause ED. Is it just heightening your arousal threshold or too much wanking. Just curious" I’d have thought it desensitises the mind. One begins to see so much porn that it no longer arouses, and in turn causes the same when presented with a real life naked woman/man. | |||
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