FabSwingers.com forum: Sooo tell me your favorite one liner or joke

By *ardhatCharlie OP Man
17 weeks ago

Northwest

I'll start with

I'm not usually a big fan of sexual innuendos but every now and then I like to slip one in....

Fnaar fnaar

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By *ardhatCharlie OP Man
17 weeks ago

Northwest

I can't believe no one is interested in sharing any jokes!!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
17 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Someone please keep Tea well away from this thread.

I can't take many more dad jokes.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

Probably having dinner/tea....

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By *dventurous biMan
17 weeks ago

tesside

My urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is only ever a whim away…

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Need to quote too many authors?

No problem et al.

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By *olinOfBathMan
17 weeks ago

Corsham

A dyslexic guy wanked into a bra...

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

A man drives through town and notices two packets of crisps outside of a shop.

He curiously pulls over and asks them if they need any help or wanted a lift.

One of the packets replies:

"No thanks, mate. We're Walkers."

...

I'll get me coat...

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I misplaced my number and I have yours?

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By *elix SightedMan
17 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Two muffins in the oven. First one says to the second “Blimey it’s hot in here isn’t it”. The second one says “Holy shit a talking muffin!!”

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By *orksRockerMan
17 weeks ago

Bradford

There are 10 types of people who understand binary, those that do and those that don't.

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By *asilyled1Man
17 weeks ago

ogmore valley

Just started new job as an apprentice doing circumcisions. Moneys shit but I get to keep the tips

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By *agatoXXXMan
17 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

A Priest, a Pastor, and a Rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks the Rabbit "What blood type are you?"

"I think I'm a Type-O", replied the rabbit.

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By *elix SightedMan
17 weeks ago

Cloud 8

Recently found out diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your genes

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I recently went to an archaeology party where everyone was looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite the shindig.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"I recently went to an archaeology party where everyone was looking for the remains of a lower leg. It was quite the shindig."

🤣🤣

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

Why don't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?

Because the p is silent

🤣🤣🤣 I confess that I stole that from someone's profile lol

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By *lan157Man
17 weeks ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

A woman I sat next to at a formal dinner told me she had an itchy fanny . I told her I was not a fan of Japanese motorbikes .

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By *woamigosCouple
17 weeks ago

harrow

what did grumpy do when he saw snow white laying on the bed naked?

Came all over happy

boom boom

did you hear about the Scotsman who had to have a foot amputated so he could wear a kilt?

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......

Apparently he just camembert it any more

Many apologies

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By *r TriomanMan
17 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

An insomniac, atheist, dyslexic, stayed awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it. - Mark Simmons

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......

Apparently he just camembert it any more

Many apologies "

Did his boss disabrie with him ?

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By *r TriomanMan
17 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......

Apparently he just camembert it any more

Many apologies "

My friend makes cheese in Wales, it's a delicate job that needs to be done Caerphilly.

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......

Apparently he just camembert it any more

Many apologies

My friend makes cheese in Wales, it's a delicate job that needs to be done Caerphilly."

These jokes are really starting to smell, I cannot brie!

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 20/09/24 08:44:32]

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......

Apparently he just camembert it any more

Many apologies

Did his boss disabrie with him ?

I like what you did there, real mature!

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

My neighbour's house, I love it. It's right up my street.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
17 weeks ago

Kendal

50% of track runners have a abject fear of the hurdles, which they struggle to get over

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

A lady started chatting me up in the pub last night. I asked her if I could smell her fanny. She slapped me and said "Certainly not!".

I said "it must be your feet then"

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By *oiluvfunMan
17 weeks ago

Penrith

My wife thinks I have commitment issues.

Well, I say ‘wife’….

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By *agatoXXXMan
17 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

did you hear about the Scotsman who had to have a foot amputated so he could wear a kilt?"

I told you that in confidence!

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By *r TriomanMan
17 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

80% of the nation are either poor or average at maths; fortunately for me, I'm in the 30% that are really good at it.

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By *rthur30Man
17 weeks ago

Warrington

My cock goes down to my slippers. And my slippers are in Hastings.

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By *teve_Life_ModelMan
17 weeks ago

South Leicestershire

When females ask lf I have children, I reply 'No I always kept my thumb over the end'

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
17 weeks ago

louth

I was in the lib and asked the librarian where the books on paranoia were she said “they’re behind you”

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By *saac888Man
17 weeks ago

Worcester

Two blondes walk into a Bar... you'd think one of them would see it...

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By *cott73Man
17 weeks ago

brighton

Heard the one about the two Spanish firemen?

Jose, and.....

Hose B

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By *rthur30Man
17 weeks ago

Warrington

"I was in the lib and asked the librarian where the books on paranoia were she said “they’re behind you”"

And moving slowly closer........

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
17 weeks ago

Sussex

I used to be a werewolf

...but I'm alright Nowwwooo

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"So I've just had a call from my brother, after 20 years he has decided to quit his job at the local cheese factory.......

Apparently he just camembert it any more

Many apologies

Did his boss disabrie with him ?

I like what you did there, real mature!"

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

What do you call a spainard who cannot find his car?

Carlos!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas....."

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣"

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Masai Graham has many great jokes, but

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
17 weeks ago

London

"A dyslexic guy wanked into a bra..."

Bravo.

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By *rincess_nikki_transgurlTV/TS
17 weeks ago

salford

Dwarf shortage

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By *idnightMuseWoman
17 weeks ago

Dreamville

What do you call a snobby criminal going down the stairs?

... A condescending con descending.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Charlie.

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By *lovetoowatchMan
17 weeks ago

Sheffield

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barberqueue.

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By *ensualpleasures69Man
17 weeks ago

leeds

Specky4eyes.com

There’s a site for sore eyes

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Just started new job as an apprentice doing circumcisions. Moneys shit but I get to keep the tips "

Be careful, if you make a mistake you could get the sac!

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Two dyslexics are sitting in a room. One says "Here, can you smell gas?"

The other replies "Gas?! I can't even smell my own fucking name!"

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!"

That cracked me up

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By *agatoXXXMan
17 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

"Just started new job as an apprentice doing circumcisions. Moneys shit but I get to keep the tips

Be careful, if you make a mistake you could get the sac!"

Brilliant 👏

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it."

Cracked egg ??

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By *ewbootsandpanties99Man
17 weeks ago

Darkest South East Surrey

My family laughed at be when I said I wanted to be a comedian, well they aren't laughing now! - Bob Monkhouse.

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By *agatoXXXMan
17 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

Cracked egg ??"

The original "joke"

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

Cracked egg ??

The original "joke""

Eggsactly

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By *ansoffateMan
17 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I could see myself adopting a kid one day. But obviously, I'd prefer it to be aborted.

Always good to open with a gentle one, until you've got a feel for the crowd.

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

Cracked egg ??

The original "joke"

Eggsactly

I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds

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By *mudge1995Man
17 weeks ago

Hull

It’s not my favourite ceiling but it’s up there

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
17 weeks ago

Southampton

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

Cracked egg ??

The original "joke"

Eggsactly

I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds "

Are you chickening out ?? 🤣🤣

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
17 weeks ago

Manchester

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

Cracked egg ??

The original "joke"

Eggsactly

I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds

Are you chickening out ?? 🤣🤣"

This has well.and truly come home to roost

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By *etwife8230Couple
17 weeks ago

Newport

Why did Tigger put his head down the toilet?

He was looking for Pooh

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
17 weeks ago

notts

I bought a microwave bed.

You get 8 hours sleep in 3 minutes

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
16 weeks ago

Sussex

To the person who stole my thesaurus and took all my anti depressant meds.

I am crestfallen, bereft and heartbroken. Are you happy now?

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By *arry McKockiner69Man
16 weeks ago

Exeter

What did the cheese say when it saw itself in the mirror?

Halloumi

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
16 weeks ago

Sussex

Then, there's the constipated theoretical mathematician who eventually worked it all out using a pencil

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By *NormalMan01Man
16 weeks ago

Harrogate

Wanna hear a joke about pizza? Never mind. It’s a bit cheesy.

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By *hat.coupleCouple
16 weeks ago

Dartford

2 cows in a field, one says "moooo!" The other one turns and says "I was just about to say that!!

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
16 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Did you hear about the old man who fell down a well?

He couldn’t see that well.

Mrs x

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By *urbo TedMan
16 weeks ago

Stansted

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror.

Halloumi

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By *he Silver FuxMan
16 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

I’m so old the only site that would let me join to find a partner was called Carbon Dating..

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By *atcherwankerMan
16 weeks ago

Birmingham

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

UP HIS SLEEVIES!

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By *nnandElleCouple
16 weeks ago

Brackley

"To the person who stole my thesaurus and took all my anti depressant meds.

I am crestfallen, bereft and heartbroken. Are you happy now?"

I bought the world's worst thesaurus the other day. Not only was it terrible, it was also terrible.

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By *rs Myvanwy Scarlet-BlackTV/TS
16 weeks ago

hot wife

I'm like a McDonald's happy meal I go down good and come with a toy

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By *arko2020Man
16 weeks ago

Sale

"What do Mexicans do in the cold....

The use chicken fajitas.....

Clucking hell... that was a poultry joke .... 🤣

I thought it was an eggcellent yoke!

That cracked me up

I don't get it.

Cracked egg ??

The original "joke"

Eggsactly

I think we have eggstracted everything out of this now to the point we've scrambled people's minds

Are you chickening out ?? 🤣🤣

This has well.and truly come home to roost

Just take the yoke out...it'll be all white then!

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

How do you tell if a man is married on this site?

His clothes will smell of fabric softener 🤫

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By *ayRyuMan
16 weeks ago

Harrogate

Took the kids to the zoo other day to see the animals.

Unfortunately there was only one dog there.

It was a shitzu!!

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By *our HeroMan
16 weeks ago

south Oxfordshire

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Coz he couldn’t get his knob out of the chicken!

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By *our HeroMan
16 weeks ago

south Oxfordshire

"My wife thinks I have commitment issues.

Well, I say ‘wife’…."

Love this one!

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
16 weeks ago

Manchester

Kylie just said to me 189 quid to see me in concert, I replied you should be so lucky......

I whole heartedly apologise for that

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By *coobyABCMan
16 weeks ago

Aberdeen

Horse walks into a bar, barman says what's with the long face!

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
16 weeks ago

Reading

What's the difference between God and a doctor?

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By *ellhungvweMan
16 weeks ago

Cheltenham

My mates wife apologised to him for the first time ever today. Apparently she is sorry for ever marrying him.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
16 weeks ago

Southampton

"My mates wife apologised to him for the first time ever today. Apparently she is sorry for ever marrying him."

🤣

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By *ampireLoveMan
16 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

My Dad said, always leave them wanting more.

Ironically, that’s how he lost his job in disaster relief.

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
15 weeks ago

Sussex

A Bhudist monk goes in to a pizza ship and says

"Make me one with everything."

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
15 weeks ago

Leeds

Two dyslexics in a kitchen.

One says to the other “ can you smell gas ?”

Other one says “ I can’t even smell my own name “

The mr

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
15 weeks ago

Sussex

"Two dyslexics in a kitchen.

One says to the other “ can you smell gas ?”

Other one says “ I can’t even smell my own name “

The mr "

I was told I wouldn't be able to do poetry because of my dyslexia, but I've already made two bowls and a vase.

BTW. Why is dyslexia such a difficult word to spell?

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

One for north easterners.

What do you call a hungry alien?

Nee tea

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

I once tried to enter the worlds strongest man.......he was fuming lol

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By *agatoXXXMan
15 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"A Bhudist monk goes in to a pizza ship and says

"Make me one with everything.""

I've never seen a pizza ship, but there is a fish and chip ship in Clydebank. Google it.

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By *littylicker69Man
15 weeks ago

abergavenny

I bought a purse made of foreskins & when I asked why so expensive they said it’s special because if you rub it it turns into a suitcase boom boom

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

The sexy couple next door have just made a sex video....

Obviously they don't know about it yet

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By *erry bull1Man
15 weeks ago

doncaster

Vacuum cleaner for sale

It’s just gathering dust

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
15 weeks ago

Sussex

My pet dog, Minton, keeps chewing my lightweight racket and shuttlecock...

BAD Minton!

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By *ickie76XXXMan
15 weeks ago

dartford

My friend who’s a plumber told his wife Florence that he wanted a divorce.

He said “it’s over flo”

Sorry

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By *ampireLoveMan
15 weeks ago

Essex & Bristol

Man walks into a bar and says ouch… It was a metal bar

You’re welcome!

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

What is the difference between iron man and iron woman

One's a superhero the other is a command

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By *arry McKockiner69Man
15 weeks ago

Exeter

The guy who made the Pearl & Dean music walks into a barbar barbar barbar barbar bababar barbar barbar barbar barbarrrr ba!

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By *orny PTMan
15 weeks ago

Peterborough

I was gonna be a stand up comedian: but the wages were a joke.

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By *eeglos94Man
15 weeks ago

Gloucester

I went to watch my daughter and her friends play in the netball finals...

What a semi

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By (user no longer on site)
15 weeks ago

What does a mechanic and lesbian have in common?

Both use snap on tools

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By *olinOfBathMan
15 weeks ago

Corsham

I was wanking to an old porn video, when my mother walked in. Didn't recognise her at first, she looked so young ...

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By *he Silver FuxMan
15 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

Chris Eubank has just announced that he has written a book about Ethics.

If it’s successful he said he’ll write one about Kent and Surrey too.

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By *he KakapoMan
15 weeks ago

A nice rock

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.

The nurse asked the rabbit: What's your blood type?"

I'm probably a Type O said the rabbit

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By *agatoXXXMan
15 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"Chris Eubank has just announced that he has written a book about Ethics.

If it’s successful he said he’ll write one about Kent and Thurrey too. "

FIFY

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By *he Silver FuxMan
15 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Chris Eubank has just announced that he has written a book about Ethics.

If it’s successful he said he’ll write one about Kent and Thurrey too.

FIFY"

Thankth!

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By *agatoXXXMan
15 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"Chris Eubank has just announced that he has written a book about Ethics.

If it’s successful he said he’ll write one about Kent and Thurrey too.

FIFY

Thankth!"

No worrieth, Thilver Fux!

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By *TMycockMan
15 weeks ago

Watford

[Slightly non-PC these days, but I did hear it nearly forty years ago....so here goes]

What do you call a one-legged Indian ?

Balan Singh

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By *esley_CTV/TS
15 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I used to be indecisive... now I'm not so sure!

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By *orny PTMan
15 weeks ago

Peterborough

"What does a mechanic and lesbian have in common?

Both use snap on tools "

and spend a fortune on lube.

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By *rostgiantMan
15 weeks ago

Chippenham

In college I was going to join the debating team, but somebody talked me out of it.

I quit my job at the helium gas factory, I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.

I didn't want to believe my dad stole from his job as a lollipop man, but all the signs were there

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By *ildmanYorksMan
15 weeks ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

Guy walks into a bar, asks the barmaid "do you serve double entendres?" She says "yes" and gives him one

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By *torm in a G cupWoman
15 weeks ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

My son's favorite joke :-

Why do squirrels swim on their back?

To keep their nuts dry.

Sorry, I just needed other people to experience that.

Now to repeat it another 20 times ...

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By *orny PTMan
15 weeks ago

Peterborough

"My son's favorite joke :-

Why do squirrels swim on their back?

To keep their nuts dry.

Sorry, I just needed other people to experience that.

Now to repeat it another 20 times ... "

Conker's bad fur day?

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By *ildbillkidMan
15 weeks ago

where the road goes on forever

The man who invented auto- correct died, the funnel will be tomato

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By *ardhatCharlie OP Man
15 weeks ago

Northwest

My grandad once said "when one door closes, another one opens".

A wise man, but a shit kitchen Fitter.

He was in the war as well. He was personally responsible for bringing down 32 German bombers.

He was easily the worst mechanic in the luftwaffe

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By *idanMan
15 weeks ago

borehamwood

A man walked into a bar and went Arrrrrgh! It was an iron bar.

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
15 weeks ago

Manchester

"Chris Eubank has just announced that he has written a book about Ethics.

If it’s successful he said he’ll write one about Kent and Thurrey too.

FIFY

Thankth!"

Loving thith

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
15 weeks ago

Manchester

"The guy who made the Pearl & Dean music walks into a barbar barbar barbar barbar bababar barbar barbar barbar barbarrrr ba!"

This actually made me.laugh out loud lol

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By *TMycockMan
15 weeks ago

Watford

What goes "hith" ?

A snake with a lisp.

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By *anchesterGuy1Man
15 weeks ago

Manchester

What's the best way to carve wood?

Whittle by whittle

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By *rRiosMan
15 weeks ago

dublin

I got in touch with my inner self recently… I really should invest in thicker toilet roll

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By *tan300Man
15 weeks ago

portsmouth

Did you know that they don’t like Fred Flintstone in Dubai

But Abu Dhabi do

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By *TMycockMan
15 weeks ago

Watford

How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to ?

Look up his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder he's a McDonald.

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By *orny PTMan
15 weeks ago

Peterborough

The guy who invented pliagarism: stole it from someone else.

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By *orny PTMan
15 weeks ago

Peterborough

Pungent: a bloke who tells rotten jokes.

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By *lirtyAndFunCouple
15 weeks ago

Rushden

She had long hair all the way down her back, non on her head though. - Tommy Cooper.

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By *oonbath89Man
15 weeks ago

radstock

Velcro………rip off

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By *r TriomanMan
15 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to ?

Look up his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder he's a McDonald."

I'm guessing that if it smells up there, he's definitely not a McLean

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By *r TriomanMan
15 weeks ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

"How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to ?

Look up his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder he's a McDonald.

I'm guessing that if it smells up there, he's definitely not a McLean

And if you find biscuit crumbs up there, he's one of the McVities... I'll stop now.

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By *orny PTMan
14 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Velcro………rip off "

(I can tell a joke in two words)

Philosophy...why?

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By *orny PTMan
14 weeks ago

Peterborough

"How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to ?

Look up his kilt, if he's got a quarter pounder he's a McDonald.

I'm guessing that if it smells up there, he's definitely not a McLean

He could be a Butter, as in knob of.

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By *rAngryPantzMan
14 weeks ago

near you.

Man walks into a bar.

Ouch

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By *orny PTMan
14 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Man walks into a bar.

Ouch"

Dyslexic walks into a bra...Bittty!

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By *parkle1974Woman
14 weeks ago

Leeds

"Trust me, I'm being honest" funniest joke ever told x

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
14 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

So, a seal walks into club.

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By *olinOfBathMan
14 weeks ago

Corsham

"Dyslexic walks into a bra...Bittty!"

Didn't I offer a better version of this three weeks ago? See the start of the thread...

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

"Dyslexic walks into a bra...Bittty!

Didn't I offer a better version of this three weeks ago? See the start of the thread..."

I posted a joke and the next day someone posted it again with slightly different wording.

No one bothers to read the thread it seems

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

"Dyslexic walks into a bra...Bittty!

Didn't I offer a better version of this three weeks ago? See the start of the thread...

I posted a joke and the next day someone posted it again with slightly different wording.

No one bothers to read the thread it seems"

The next day is a bit of a stretch. It was a few days later

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By *rSircumsizedMan
14 weeks ago

Newport

What's pink and smells of Ginger? Fred Astaire's fingers.

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By *ildmanYorksMan
14 weeks ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

A guy went to the doctor for his annual check up. The doc asked him how his stools were. The guy, somewhat confused said "They were a bit loose but I sorted that out with a tub of wood glue!" He was even more confused when the doc immediately rang the hospital to book the guy in for a colonoscopy!

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
14 weeks ago

Sussex

Two squirrels are sitting on an oak tree and one squirrel says "let's go and sit on the beech"

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By *ick a clit.comMan
14 weeks ago

Southsea

Your cock looks 12 inches

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Guy goes to doctor with a stick of lettuce sticking out his ear...

"And this is just the tip of the iceberg" he says.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Guy gets the shit kicked out of him with a giant cockroach.

Dr says: "I had heard there was a nasty bug going about".

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Worlds shortest joke:

Venison’s dear isn’t it 😊

That’s one of Jimmy Carr’s

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By *ugh LibidoMan
14 weeks ago

Penton/Spain

I went to my premature ejaculators support meeting this morning. Turns out the meeting is tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Notice reads:

"Time travellers meet-up group.

Meet here last wednesday 4pm".

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By *rSircumsizedMan
14 weeks ago

Newport

Went to the doctors said l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time, but now it's getting on her tits!!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
14 weeks ago

Leeds

Filled the es cort up with diesel by mistake.

She died.

The mr

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By *TMycockMan
14 weeks ago

Watford

Did you hear about the Russian pr*stit*te ?

Nika Zofalot

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By *ornucopiaMan
14 weeks ago

Bexley

Heard about the man who thought that Screwfix was a dating site?

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By *orraine999Woman
14 weeks ago

Somewhere

Where do bad rainbows go? ……………… To prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

What’s green and smells like pork?

Kermit the Frog’s fingers

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
14 weeks ago

Sussex

"I went to my premature ejaculators support meeting this morning. Turns out the meeting is tomorrow "

Not so bad as the meeting of clairvoyants that had to be cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

I was told that a chicken can last a week if kept in the fridge. But I checked on the one I put in there last night and it's dead.

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

What I'm I, fly paper for freaks?

It may look like I'm not busy but on a cellular level I'm manic

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

You two donkey dicks couldn't get laid in a Morgue.

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By *itygamesMan
14 weeks ago

i walked into a pub , looked at the menu , then asked the barman if they did takeaway

he said yeah sure

i said ok , whats 10 minus 5

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Life is like a bed of roses, just watch out for the Pricks!

To ALL Virgins,thanks for nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Chinese proverbs.

Man who walk in front of car get tyred

Man who walk behind car get exhausted.

Man who live in Glasshouse get changes in basement.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left

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By (user no longer on site)
14 weeks ago

Chinese proverbs

Man who walk sideways through airport turnstiles going to Bangkok

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By *r Mind CandyMan
14 weeks ago

Cheshire

I love camping sex, it’s fucking in-tents

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
14 weeks ago

Sussex

"I love camping sex, it’s fucking in-tents "

And low alcohol beer has a taste like sex in a canoe- f**king close to water!

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By *orny PTMan
14 weeks ago

Peterborough

Why is autumn the best time to bag a camping barging?

Because it's the season of discount tent.

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By *ickie76XXXMan
14 weeks ago

dartford

Snowman turns to another snowman and says “can you smell carrots?”

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By *ornucopiaMan
14 weeks ago

Bexley

"Why is autumn the best time to bag a camping barging?

Because it's the season of discount tent."

Unless you happened to be Richard III, in which case it would be winter.

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