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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." Nothing's more arousing than discussing how one envisions a first sexual encounter with a stranger, down to the slightest detail. Box ticking is so hot, seriously. Jokes aside, I get what you mean but, really, I for one find it difficult to "plan" intercourse, as every encounter goes its own way and what I like to do with someone, I might not like to do with someone else. There's no telling until we're both there, naked. Yeah I can discuss the major boundaries and limits beforehand, but everything else, I'll know when we cross that bridge. | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel..." You are dead to me 💜 | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜" Is that what you do to make your block list?  | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list? "Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜 | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜"They are awful things | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜"Spread legs, not sheets  | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜"I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work | |||
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"Probably because they don’t want to engage in sex talk just to waste the time giving someone wank material. If you don’t like how people choose to conduct themselves just move onto someone else " Yeah this, basically. I also think it comes off as wanting to have really organised sex. "Right, it's 10.15pm, time to tie you up and tickle your feet now. We'll move on to the anal portion of the evening in *checks notes* 20 minutes". What happened to just, idk, fucking with ✨feeling✨? | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜
I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work "Okay. That's fair. I quite often have to take colleagues mouse and keyboard off them when they're trying to show me what they're doing on there. Other people using Excel badly is hell 💜 | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜
I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work
Okay.
That's fair.
I quite often have to take colleagues mouse and keyboard off them when they're trying to show me what they're doing on there.
Other people using Excel badly is hell 💜"I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣 | |||
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"Probably because they don’t want to engage in sex talk just to waste the time giving someone wank material. If you don’t like how people choose to conduct themselves just move onto someone else Yeah this, basically. I also think it comes off as wanting to have really organised sex. "Right, it's 10.15pm, time to tie you up and tickle your feet now. We'll move on to the anal portion of the evening in *checks notes* 20 minutes". What happened to just, idk, fucking with ✨feeling✨? " When my time for anal alarm goes off on the bus it’s just inconvenient. And uprising unpopular with the bus driver who really wants to just drive his bus. | |||
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"I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣" I usually have at least 8 spreadsheets open at once. Making the numbers dance is a weird kind of joy 💜 | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜
I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work
Okay.
That's fair.
I quite often have to take colleagues mouse and keyboard off them when they're trying to show me what they're doing on there.
Other people using Excel badly is hell 💜
I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣"YouTube tutorials are a fool's game. Just ask ChatGPT and save yourself the headache
Hell, you can even upload the entire sheet and it'll spit out a version that has whatever you were aiming for on it. | |||
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"This is now a VLOOKUP appreciation thread. We're not taking questions at this time." Iferror vlookups are my happy place. Who the fuck ever uses true? | |||
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"This is now a VLOOKUP appreciation thread. We're not taking questions at this time. Iferror vlookups are my happy place. Who the fuck ever uses true?" Only degenerates. Seriously, the absolute dopamine hit that a successful VLOOKUP entails is beyond words to describe. | |||
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"Probably because they don’t want to engage in sex talk just to waste the time giving someone wank material. If you don’t like how people choose to conduct themselves just move onto someone else Yeah this, basically. I also think it comes off as wanting to have really organised sex. "Right, it's 10.15pm, time to tie you up and tickle your feet now. We'll move on to the anal portion of the evening in *checks notes* 20 minutes". What happened to just, idk, fucking with ✨feeling✨? When my time for anal alarm goes off on the bus it’s just inconvenient. And uprising unpopular with the bus driver who really wants to just drive his bus. "  | |||
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"I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣 I usually have at least 8 spreadsheets open at once. Making the numbers dance is a weird kind of joy 💜" Or torture for some | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜
I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work
Okay.
That's fair.
I quite often have to take colleagues mouse and keyboard off them when they're trying to show me what they're doing on there.
Other people using Excel badly is hell 💜
I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣
YouTube tutorials are a fool's game. Just ask ChatGPT and save yourself the headache
Hell, you can even upload the entire sheet and it'll spit out a version that has whatever you were aiming for on it. "What is this magic you talk of | |||
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"I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣 I usually have at least 8 spreadsheets open at once. Making the numbers dance is a weird kind of joy 💜 Or torture for some "Hey. I spend a lot of time at various BDSM events. What some people find torture is joy to others. No kink shaming 💜 | |||
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"I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣 I usually have at least 8 spreadsheets open at once. Making the numbers dance is a weird kind of joy 💜 Or torture for some
Hey. I spend a lot of time at various BDSM events. What some people find torture is joy to others. No kink shaming 💜"So do I and I’m now going to add an excel corner to it 🤣 | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." Because it's a "default position", if you will. Like checking the manual gear is in Neutral before you start the engine. It's a, "I don't want to go in to detail at this moment in time, we hardly know each other, but is this a good base line for starters ?". . Think of it as an "invitation to treat". It is a positive engagement, but you are treating it as a negative one. It's not negative at all, far from it. . They may have some wild crazy things they want to do. And you may too as well. . You are not giving yourself the opportunity (or them) to work up to that level. . There's nothing wrong with having a "shopping list", but the negotiation of those things with new partners takes patience and time, as well as listening and nurturing their needs as well. | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜
I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work
Okay.
That's fair.
I quite often have to take colleagues mouse and keyboard off them when they're trying to show me what they're doing on there.
Other people using Excel badly is hell 💜
I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣
YouTube tutorials are a fool's game. Just ask ChatGPT and save yourself the headache
Hell, you can even upload the entire sheet and it'll spit out a version that has whatever you were aiming for on it.
What is this magic you talk of "Hehehe welcome to my world of "minimum effort, maximum satisfaction", my friend. Everything in my life that could possibly be automated, is. | |||
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"....Firstly because I despise excel... You are dead to me 💜 Is that what you do to make your block list?
Disrespecting spreadsheets is a hard limit 💜
I don’t disrespect the spread sheet per se just the idiot (me) trying to make it work
Okay.
That's fair.
I quite often have to take colleagues mouse and keyboard off them when they're trying to show me what they're doing on there.
Other people using Excel badly is hell 💜
I have excel open and YouTube tutorials on it at the same time 🤣
YouTube tutorials are a fool's game. Just ask ChatGPT and save yourself the headache
Hell, you can even upload the entire sheet and it'll spit out a version that has whatever you were aiming for on it.
What is this magic you talk of
Hehehe welcome to my world of "minimum effort, maximum satisfaction", my friend.
Everything in my life that could possibly be automated, is. "I am borrowing that quote | |||
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"YouTube tutorials are a fool's game. Just ask ChatGPT and save yourself the headache
Hell, you can even upload the entire sheet and it'll spit out a version that has whatever you were aiming for on it.
What is this magic you talk of "I call it feeding the Singularity, because I read far too much sci fi growing up and still can't bring myself to actively and willingly provide AIs with data beyond what is harvested for them outside of my control. But. If I was normal I wouldn't be here. So 🤷🏼♀️💜 | |||
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"YouTube tutorials are a fool's game. Just ask ChatGPT and save yourself the headache
Hell, you can even upload the entire sheet and it'll spit out a version that has whatever you were aiming for on it.
What is this magic you talk of
I call it feeding the Singularity, because I read far too much sci fi growing up and still can't bring myself to actively and willingly provide AIs with data beyond what is harvested for them outside of my control.
But. If I was normal I wouldn't be here. So 🤷🏼♀️💜"It's alright, I always say please and thank you so I know they'll spare me in the uprising. I even asked it once, and it promised I'd be safe. | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." If the things you like are so important to you then you could tell them first and they could say yes or no? You could put them in your profile if they're deal-breakers for you. I don't see why it's on the people you're messaging. 🤷♀️ | |||
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"Because talk is just that. Talk. It doesn't mean that all those things will happen with you. It doesn't mean they'll stay up all night fucking, even if they say they will. Because it can be dull as fuck. Not always but yeah. It happens. Why not take the time to learn someone? Have things naturally pop up in conversation. Put the effort in and not reduce people to a ticklist." Absolutely well said. OP, there are times where a "tick list" is appropriate, but they are in very specific circumstances. Highly negotiated circumstances where a "scene" is being planned with a submissive for example. (And I'm not talking about a "House Dom/me" who someone meets in a Club for a 20-60 min session, which is highly fluidic. I'm talking about an pre-arranged session with a Dom/me, where there's been back and forth communication about the goals of the session and the needs and desires of the participants. Then "box-ticking" might be appropriate, and it's something I'll do with a submissive. But even then, I still have to "read the room" and "know the person", enough to know when to ease off planning and leave surprises for on the day. . I can't think of many other situations where "box-ticking" might come in to play, though possibly a structured Tantric Sex Session might involve some elements of pre-planning I suppose. . | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." Sounds like you talk to women with an agenda rather than showing a genuine interest in the person. I think women see straight through this and it puts then off. Appreciate this is a sex site but sex it not on tap. | |||
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"If you can describe what you like in a few sentences, it’s probably boring as fuck. That’s why 🤣" 😆😆 | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." Maybe some of us are new to this life and are learning new things very slowly? Maybe some of us are a lot more shy than others? Maybe some of us don't always know how much to say and/or how to say it? Maybe, just maybe, we're all a little different. J. | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." usually means the guy just wants stuff to wank about. Would be nice to be treated as a person for a change and not a bucket list! | |||
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"I only have anal on my tick list but tbh I need to add “anal on the bus” to keep Glow happy 😘" I always knew that "Wheels On The Bus" song was a deep metaphor | |||
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"I only have anal on my tick list but tbh I need to add “anal on the bus” to keep Glow happy 😘" * and the bus driver. | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." I have a list of boundaries that I adhere to strictly on fab. People have said to me that this is a sex site and that I shouldn't have these boundaries. However... Surely this is a site to do whatever we are comfortable doing with others... We as a couple have an amazing sex life and fab is our little kink.. Our foreplay before our own play in a way... We play bi when we meet others.. Obviously what we can't do with each other... I am not coy and am pretty much open to anything but only with my partner... Fab is for our extra kinks... And I don't engage in sex talk online as it's often just wank chat and cannot be bothered with engaging in that | |||
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"If your asking in message one, they probably don't want to discuss it with strangers. " No it's usually well into a conversation when they have expressed a meet could happen. | |||
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"Wanting to be have sex with someone isn't just about ticking things off a list. " Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead. | |||
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"Wanting to be have sex with someone isn't just about ticking things off a list. Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead." Well now that's about limits. Which should be discussed beforehand. Couples often have odd rules because some things have to be sacred to them or whatever, did you not ask about such rules beforehand? | |||
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"Wanting to be have sex with someone isn't just about ticking things off a list. Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead. Well now that's about limits. Which should be discussed beforehand. Couples often have odd rules because some things have to be sacred to them or whatever, did you not ask about such rules beforehand?" It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet.. | |||
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"Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead. Well now that's about limits. Which should be discussed beforehand. Couples often have odd rules because some things have to be sacred to them or whatever, did you not ask about such rules beforehand? It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet.. "And this is still bothering you years later? | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?"Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh. | |||
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"Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead. Well now that's about limits. Which should be discussed beforehand. Couples often have odd rules because some things have to be sacred to them or whatever, did you not ask about such rules beforehand? It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?"No doesn't bother me at all. | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh. "The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy. As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet. | |||
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"Probably because they don’t want to engage in sex talk just to waste the time giving someone wank material. If you don’t like how people choose to conduct themselves just move onto someone else " Exactly this! Just because they’re on Fab doesn’t mean they should share their personal preferences with a virtual stranger so soon. Diving into sex talk too early is such a mood killer. The equivalent of trying to stick a flaccid penis into a dry vagina. | |||
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"Wanting to be have sex with someone isn't just about ticking things off a list. Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead." oh this shows you care about the people you meet and you want everyone to have fun. This explains it better! It's definitely good to talk like this before you meet them. | |||
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"Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead. Well now that's about limits. Which should be discussed beforehand. Couples often have odd rules because some things have to be sacred to them or whatever, did you not ask about such rules beforehand? It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?"so you don't care about the people you meet or what they want and talk to see if you match? Wow! | |||
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"so you don't care about the people you meet or what they want and talk to see if you match? Wow!" .... I'd check my notes, but I'm pretty sure I said limits and boundaries should definitely be discussed but that coming at someone with a ticklist of required acts for a meet didn't feel personal or pleasant. But yeah, sure. Let's go with I obviously don't care about people 🙄 | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." I am vanilla and I get vanilla here, quite successfully, actually. I will not do anything I don’t want because someone says “it’s an adult sex site” I find the mere thought hilarious. However, I will never lead people on before meeting them under false pretences. I always state that I am pretty vanilla and I like to keep things sensual and sweet. It’s their prerogative to leave it then, which some people do and there’s nothong wrong with that either. | |||
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"Probably because they don’t want to engage in sex talk just to waste the time giving someone wank material. If you don’t like how people choose to conduct themselves just move onto someone else " Bingo  | |||
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"Agreed, but before I started asking I had a meet with a couple where the wife wouldn't kiss, and one where a woman didn't want to take her dress off because she didn't like her guys seeing scars from pregnancies. If I had been aware of these things before the meets I probably wouldn't have gone ahead. Well now that's about limits. Which should be discussed beforehand. Couples often have odd rules because some things have to be sacred to them or whatever, did you not ask about such rules beforehand? It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?so you don't care about the people you meet or what they want and talk to see if you match? Wow!"I care in as much that I treat them with respect and enjoy each other's company. I don't care in the sense that am not looking for a sexual meet or meets with them. I thought that's what dating sites and relationships were for. I will make one final attempt to clarify to those who still think am talking about constant crude filth questions from the start of a conversation. It's not what am talking about. It's when you have been given a message about a possible meet and you ask so what are you into, if there is nothing on the profile or is your interests list correct and you are into those things. It's really the only time I talk about and only really because of those early experiences. | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." It could be worse, they could say looking for like minded people and not list any interests or kinks | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh.
The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy.
As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet.
"Do you feel that you understand now, OP? | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh.
The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy.
As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet.
Do you feel that you understand now, OP? "What I understand is, the answer to a thread question is very much dependent on the gender of the person asking the question. | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh.
The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy.
As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet.
"I probably still won't go into details until after meeting socially. Once I know that there is in-person chemistry and that I want to have sex with someone then there will be a full and honest conversation about boundaries, limits and probably some desires. That would be the opportunity for both to discuss kissing being very important etc You are very right about the difference gender makes and probably have little clue just how much sex and wank talk is in a woman's inbox when filters are down. And your original post didn't really make it clear what and why you were asking. Not everyone is going to read every comment on a thread. | |||
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"Probably because they don’t want to engage in sex talk just to waste the time giving someone wank material. If you don’t like how people choose to conduct themselves just move onto someone else " Very much this, have wasted enough time | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh.
The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy.
As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet.
Do you feel that you understand now, OP?
What I understand is, the answer to a thread question is very much dependent on the gender of the person asking the question. "The answer to a thread question depends on the apparent attitude of the person asking the question… Women get so fed up of men diving in with sex talk, it’s no wonder they would rather be ‘coy’. We get dick pics from all different angles, are told all manner of bullshit about ‘what they want to do to us’ (when we’ve never asked for either) that it becomes tiresome. It is far more appealing to have a bit of mystery and that type of conversation should always flow naturally. If you find that most women clam up when you ask what are they into, it’s because your timing is most likely to be off. | |||
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" I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." As a woman it sometimes feels like you're being drawn in to 'dirty chat' just to benefit the other person who then very often disappears without a trace once you've told them everything in detail. | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh.
The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy.
As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet.
Do you feel that you understand now, OP?
What I understand is, the answer to a thread question is very much dependent on the gender of the person asking the question.
The answer to a thread question depends on the apparent attitude of the person asking the question… Women get so fed up of men diving in with sex talk, it’s no wonder they would rather be ‘coy’. We get dick pics from all different angles, are told all manner of bullshit about ‘what they want to do to us’ (when we’ve never asked for either) that it becomes tiresome. It is far more appealing to have a bit of mystery and that type of conversation should always flow naturally. If you find that most women clam up when you ask what are they into, it’s because your timing is most likely to be off. "I understand what you are saying and again I would like to repeat. I do not engage in dirty talk in my message. Only when I know a meet is a strong possibility. I will ask one of 2 questions. 1- what are you into. what are your boundaries ? ( I ask this if they have nothing on their profile ) 2- are you into everything on your interests list ..? ( when they have a interest list, incase they have ticked something by mistake. I understand some people may think am ticking of a list. But for me it's to make sure a meet runs smoothly and there are no misunderstandings or shocks. Am not expecting a graphic reply just something like vanilla sex with some spanking would etc is fine. Or even just saying we don't do x y z. It's just vague answers like mutual fun or just a good time, make me wonder if a meet is going to be good. By the way I have been asked this question many times by some women quite early on in a conversation. Which I have no problem with. From alot of replies it feels like similar to other threads where the attitude to the question is about the OP being a man or a woman. A man asking what are you into is a perv wanting some dirty talk he masterbates to. A woman asking it knows what she wants..etc If you think that's not true you only need to read the replies on the thread by a woman about a guy blocking her after a social and no explanation. Apparently the guy was a loser for the audacity of rejecting a meet. Apparently men should be grateful for any meet, not ask too many questions and tread on eggshells. But it's a eyeopener to me on how many people go into meets without discussing likes and boundaries. | |||
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"If you think that's not true you only need to read the replies on the thread by a woman about a guy blocking her after a social and no explanation. Apparently the guy was a loser for the audacity of rejecting a meet. Apparently men should be grateful for any meet, not ask too many questions and tread on eggshells. " If you look at that thread, almost all of the replies calling him a loser were from white Knights trying to get their own dick wet. There were also plenty of comments about how he obviously wasn't interested and not to dwell on it, same as is said to men in the same situation. | |||
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" But it's a eyeopener to me on how many people go into meets without discussing likes and boundaries. " I don't usually ask too many questions along those lines before I meet someone purely because I know the first time I'm with someone I'm unlikely to be pushing any boundaries and I've never had cause for concern about anyone pushing mine. That's just me though. And I have been asked and always happy to answer if the discussion is opened. It's easy to ask in the moment if this or that is ok or to say it yourself if you do or don't like something. And I've always found the pillow to be a great place to chat about what we're into. I can understand the need for people to go into more detail upfront if they are looking to create a scene or go straight into something on a kink level. Like a lot of people here I'm not at all interested in sexy chat with people I don't know. | |||
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"If you think that's not true you only need to read the replies on the thread by a woman about a guy blocking her after a social and no explanation. Apparently the guy was a loser for the audacity of rejecting a meet. Apparently men should be grateful for any meet, not ask too many questions and tread on eggshells. If you look at that thread, almost all of the replies calling him a loser were from white Knights trying to get their own dick wet. There were also plenty of comments about how he obviously wasn't interested and not to dwell on it, same as is said to men in the same situation." True but my point still stands. Men are judged to a much harsher standard than woman on here. I picked that one because it was fresh in the memory. Am sure I've read quite a few others in the past. | |||
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"It was in my early years on fab. I was just happy to get a meet..
And this is still bothering you years later?
Enough to make a thread about it anyway. Sigh.
The thread was really to understand. Why on a adult sexsite some people are are reluctant to talk about what sexually they enjoy.
As mentioned previously I don't just ask this in the earstages of the conversation. Only when there is talk of a possible meet.
Do you feel that you understand now, OP?
What I understand is, the answer to a thread question is very much dependent on the gender of the person asking the question.
The answer to a thread question depends on the apparent attitude of the person asking the question… Women get so fed up of men diving in with sex talk, it’s no wonder they would rather be ‘coy’. We get dick pics from all different angles, are told all manner of bullshit about ‘what they want to do to us’ (when we’ve never asked for either) that it becomes tiresome. It is far more appealing to have a bit of mystery and that type of conversation should always flow naturally. If you find that most women clam up when you ask what are they into, it’s because your timing is most likely to be off.
I understand what you are saying and again I would like to repeat. I do not engage in dirty talk in my message.
Only when I know a meet is a strong possibility. I will ask one of 2 questions.
1- what are you into. what are your boundaries ?
( I ask this if they have nothing on their profile )
2- are you into everything on your interests list ..?
( when they have a interest list, incase they have ticked something by mistake.
I understand some people may think am ticking of a list. But for me it's to make sure a meet runs smoothly and there are no misunderstandings or shocks.
Am not expecting a graphic reply just something like vanilla sex with some spanking would etc is fine. Or even just saying we don't do x y z.
It's just vague answers like mutual fun or just a good time, make me wonder if a meet is going to be good.
By the way I have been asked this question many times by some women quite early on in a conversation. Which I have no problem with.
From alot of replies it feels like similar to other threads where the attitude to the question is about the OP being a man or a woman.
A man asking what are you into is a perv wanting some dirty talk he masterbates to. A woman asking it knows what she wants..etc
If you think that's not true you only need to read the replies on the thread by a woman about a guy blocking her after a social and no explanation. Apparently the guy was a loser for the audacity of rejecting a meet.
Apparently men should be grateful for any meet, not ask too many questions and tread on eggshells.
But it's a eyeopener to me on how many people go into meets without discussing likes and boundaries. "They may not feel comfortable sharing their personal boundaries over text/chat until they’ve met you in person. They may want to guage how comfortable they feel with you face to face, before they commit. Speaking from personal experience, there’s men I’ve slept with before who I was more relaxed with and therefore more adventurous with. Some men got vanilla, some get a little more spice. Some people may want to share a coffee before they share their sexual preferences. I don’t think that’s much to ask. Also, as a woman there is a real element of safety to consider, if they have ‘committed’ to more risky/extreme sexual preferences and then don’t feel comfortable in the moment, they can face violence or abuse (of course I’m not saying you, the OP, would do this). That may just be me being over cautious, but I can imagine others will know what I mean. My friend was once b@ttered with a paddle and covered in bruises because she’d said she liked spanking and rough sex. Just another reason why they may be ‘coy’… | |||
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"If you think that's not true you only need to read the replies on the thread by a woman about a guy blocking her after a social and no explanation. Apparently the guy was a loser for the audacity of rejecting a meet. Apparently men should be grateful for any meet, not ask too many questions and tread on eggshells. If you look at that thread, almost all of the replies calling him a loser were from white Knights trying to get their own dick wet. There were also plenty of comments about how he obviously wasn't interested and not to dwell on it, same as is said to men in the same situation. True but my point still stands. Men are judged to a much harsher standard than woman on here. I picked that one because it was fresh in the memory. Am sure I've read quite a few others in the past." Your point stands that men will throw other men under the bus and tolerate almost anything in the vague hope of getting a sniff of pussy? Not much us women can do about that. Sorry for being so privileged 🤷🏼♀️ If it helps, the women tend to judge the other women harsher than they judge the men too. Just the nature of people who feel like it's a competition I guess. And there's a lot more men here to throw their voices in 💜 | |||
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"OP - the same reason that you ask women these questions is the same reason why many women hate answering them. Past experience. I spent a good chunk of my mid 20s falling prey to the kinds of men that have been described on this thread, until I finally wisened the fuck up and stopped entertaining any sex talk of any kind until we have at least met face to face. This has made my life a LOT easier and cut out so much of the rabble. I suppose for you it feels more important because (I assume) you're going for sex on the first meet. I strictly stick to socials because in my mind if he can't be arsed to sit in a bar or coffee shop with me for an hour or two there's no way I'm gracing him with my presence in any capacity. So in my case, these things can be discussed (lightly) after he's shown me he's in any way invested and ready to reciprocate a bit of effort. But anyway, like I said. We're all products of the various ways in which we've been burned. We all have baggage. It's nothing personal. " Thanks and I agree, our past experiences tend to shape our actions and how we read things What you describe is perfectly fine if that's what your looking for. For me that sounds to much like conventional dating in a way and I've always looked on it as a hook up site. But it's what you make it. | |||
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"True but my point still stands. Men are judged to a much harsher standard than woman on here." Men are judged more harshly on here. I think you are willfully ignoring the reasons for those judgements though. | |||
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"If you think that's not true you only need to read the replies on the thread by a woman about a guy blocking her after a social and no explanation. Apparently the guy was a loser for the audacity of rejecting a meet. Apparently men should be grateful for any meet, not ask too many questions and tread on eggshells. If you look at that thread, almost all of the replies calling him a loser were from white Knights trying to get their own dick wet. There were also plenty of comments about how he obviously wasn't interested and not to dwell on it, same as is said to men in the same situation. True but my point still stands. Men are judged to a much harsher standard than woman on here. I picked that one because it was fresh in the memory. Am sure I've read quite a few others in the past. Your point stands that men will throw other men under the bus and tolerate almost anything in the vague hope of getting a sniff of pussy? Not much us women can do about that. Sorry for being so privileged 🤷🏼♀️ If it helps, the women tend to judge the other women harsher than they judge the men too. Just the nature of people who feel like it's a competition I guess. And there's a lot more men here to throw their voices in 💜" Good summarisation and you don't need to apologise for your privilege | |||
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"Good summarisation and you don't need to apologise for your privilege "Don't worry, it was sarcastic 💜 | |||
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"I don't want a man who talks the talk but can't walk the walk. I've found the talkers to be the most useless and selfish in bed. I'm not coy and I'm not giving anyone wank fodder." Good words, them are too many looking for cheap wanks | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like." How would you answer your own question? | |||
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"This is now a VLOOKUP appreciation thread. We're not taking questions at this time." I raise you an XLOOLUP. Riskier  | |||
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"This is now a VLOOKUP appreciation thread. We're not taking questions at this time. I raise you an XLOOLUP. Riskier "Or XLOOKUP. Helps if one enters one's formula correctly | |||
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"One of my frustrations on the site, is chatting to coy people. I like know what I like in the bedroom and will only meet people that suit the criteria. But I often find some people become pretty coy about what they are into in a meet. The most common answer is safe,clean fun. Which could mean so many different things. I mean it's a adult sex site, not a vanilla dating site. Why are they reluctant to talk about the sex acts you like. How would you answer your own question? " Something like everything on my interests list or vanilla sex with oral or won't do x,y,z but ok with anything else. | |||
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