FabSwingers.com forum: A Question Of Confidence…

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ey up good folks 😃

The analogous anonymity bestowed upon us via online interaction may often serve to augment/‘boost’ many people’s natural confidence levels.

Indeed and by way of verifying this point, how many folks simply walk up to random strangers in the street and immediately enquire if they would like to engage in relations of a carnal nature with them?

In relation to the above, a simple question therefore my fine peeps:

How confident are you in the ‘real world’ so to speak, as regards approaching and instigating communication with someone who has caught your eye? 🙂

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By *iker JackMan
3 days ago

Wolverhampton

For me internet has in some ways removed this.

A wink or a message where on the whole you’re unaccountable for it seems to be a lot easier than actual physical communication skills

I met someone once who conversed amazingly online but face to face said she felt at a loss without being able to type it or use her phone, or maybe I was just that ugly she didn’t want to talk to me face to face

I think that we assume, correctly or not, that if someone is on a platform such as this that much of the interface of small talk is removed.

As we all want the same thing, don’t we 🤣🤣

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By *aven.Woman
3 days ago

Not the North West...

About as confident as Susan Boyle pre makeover.

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By *hilloutMan
3 days ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

About as confident as I am on here. No qualms with making the first move.

Few people have this first initial effect in real life however.

Here it's different as you see a lot more of the person, both physically, and if they use the forums, how they carry themselves. It makes the initial approach easier I'd say.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
3 days ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

When I'm out in a bar in glam mode, people approach me. Usually for a selfie, but sometimes a bit more

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By *izandpaulCouple
3 days ago

merseyside

Sadly, if you don't practice chatting with others you eventually loose confidence.

Not just in the swingers world but normal vanilla interaction too.

In short, you become socially inept.

If you don't feel confident try chatting to people who will easily respond.

We have just had a weekend away in Wales and we spoke to loads of folks on the beach who had a dog, ask what breed, how old, say how beautiful the dog is and then say have a lovely day with a big smile and a bye.

It builds up your confidence in a fool proof arena.

Most people we have found who are socially inept are generally sexually inept too.

Both very sad.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
3 days ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Ey up good folks 😃

The analogous anonymity bestowed upon us via online interaction may often serve to augment/‘boost’ many people’s natural confidence levels.

In relation to the above, a simple question therefore my fine peeps:

How confident are you in the ‘real world’ so to speak, as regards approaching and instigating communication with someone who has caught your eye? 🙂"

I'm confident.

But the thought of walking up to a random stranger in the street and asking if they'd like to fuck?

I can imagine the reaction now.

There's a major difference between making contact on a swingers website and approaching a complete stranger in a vanilla environment and discussing sex.

I'd have assumed that was obvious, but maybe not......🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
3 days ago

S. Herts

I’m a lot more confident offline than I am on. That said I’m always mindful that a negative response in person can be much worse than online, so I’ve become quite disinterested in approaching people offline. I just don’t want the drama..

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By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
3 days ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"Ey up good folks 😃

The analogous anonymity bestowed upon us via online interaction may often serve to augment/‘boost’ many people’s natural confidence levels.

In relation to the above, a simple question therefore my fine peeps:

How confident are you in the ‘real world’ so to speak, as regards approaching and instigating communication with someone who has caught your eye? 🙂

I'm confident.

But the thought of walking up to a random stranger in the street and asking if they'd like to fuck?

I can imagine the reaction now.

There's a major difference between making contact on a swingers website and approaching a complete stranger in a vanilla environment and discussing sex.

I'd have assumed that was obvious, but maybe not......🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️"

Of course; I imply the social act of simply approaching and subsequently breaking the proverbial ice with strangers as opposed to randomly propositioning them for sexual liaisons (which enters the murky waters of sexual harassment after all - and not something I’d ever advocate)

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By *uriousscouserWoman
3 days ago

Wirral

I'm far more engaging offline than online, which gives me enough confidence to strike up conversations with anyone who looks like they're up for a chat.

Creating a rapport with people is part of my job, and it's a part I'm good at.

To balance that I'm shit at flirting (truly abysmal) and not great at recognising when someone else is flirting with me, so the chances of me turning that conversation into anything more aren't great.

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By *nickeringWoman
3 days ago

Coleshill

i find my confidence slipping on line, lack of physical signs of receipt of information.

I love meeting with people, its part of my job as well, so i happily engage and give a lot of attention to people. Asking for anything - yea well perhaps not quite that confident

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By *idssissyTV/TS
3 days ago

Birmingham

If there was ever an occasion where I caught some one's eye I doubt I would notice and I rarely approach anyone who may catch mine.

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By *oeBeansMan
3 days ago

Derby

I'm absolutely awful at approaching people in real life. I overthink it and almost try too hard too hard to be myself to the point we'd both come away thinking "what the actual fuck was that?"

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By *enelope2UWoman
3 days ago

Fife

I have yet to find someone physically attractive in the UK to approach completely off looks alone.. therefore I approach based on a mutual interest and dependent on the environment and go from there.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
3 days ago

Markfield

Not at all confident at approaching someone new and unknown but in a meet situation where we’ve messaged in advance I’m happy to start things off with a friendly “shall we get naked?”

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By *enfleetMaleMan
3 days ago

Hadleigh

At a club I can walk up to anyone and start a conversation. In the real world I have nothing to say other than," did you see that ludicrous display last night?" "The thing about Arsenal is that they always try a walk it in"

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By *iberatedduoCouple
3 days ago

Ashbourne

"Sadly, if you don't practice chatting with others you eventually loose confidence.

Not just in the swingers world but normal vanilla interaction too.

In short, you become socially inept.

If you don't feel confident try chatting to people who will easily respond.

It builds up your confidence in a fool proof arena.

Most people we have found who are socially inept are generally sexually inept too.

Both very sad. "

I don’t appreciate being randomly approached by strangers in public. I know that is one of the pitfalls of dog ownership so I am mindful where I walk so I can enjoy my walk.

It’s not that people are socially inept they may choose not to engage. I see many who are always on their phones while out and about it’s just the way society is these days.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
2 days ago

St Leonards

Ooooohhh...tough one to answer OP.

Physically, I'm not magnetic. A teeny bit.

However, once I engage someone in conversation, eye contact, body language etc, I'm too magnetic.

So my issue isn't really confidence about people wanting to be with me - it's more that they get a bit too addicted to me and want far more ongoing contact than I enjoy (mentally, emotionally, socially, physically).

So I manage my interactions in a way that prevents others from getting too big a blast of "me", and losing their heads in a way that's unhealthy for them and onerous for me.

Confidence isn't an issue - consequences are.

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By *izandpaulCouple
2 days ago

merseyside

"Sadly, if you don't practice chatting with others you eventually loose confidence.

Not just in the swingers world but normal vanilla interaction too.

In short, you become socially inept.

If you don't feel confident try chatting to people who will easily respond.

It builds up your confidence in a fool proof arena.

Most people we have found who are socially inept are generally sexually inept too.

Both very sad.

I don’t appreciate being randomly approached by strangers in public. I know that is one of the pitfalls of dog ownership so I am mindful where I walk so I can enjoy my walk.

It’s not that people are socially inept they may choose not to engage. I see many who are always on their phones while out and about it’s just the way society is these days. "

If you don't wish to engage that's fine.

Just out of curiosity, how would you react if I came up to you and patted your dog and said hello?

I do believe people who choose not to have social engagement would eventually become socially inept, we are social animals and need engagement.

I agree some need or in my case have to become proficient at engagement due to my job, some like it more than others.

But this is a swingers site and I would have thought the majority of folks on here want, eventually, to meet.

But we have met a few people who are extremely vocal in the forums but in real life no so much.

I love chatting to folks, especially interesting people.

Have fun.

Liz.

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By *mf123Man
2 days ago

with one foot out the door

Iv said faf to many women most slap me cos they think i called em fat

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By *izandpaulCouple
2 days ago

merseyside

"Iv said faf to many women most slap me cos they think i called em fat"

Wow.

You do need a bit more practice.

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By *mf123Man
2 days ago

with one foot out the door

"Iv said faf to many women most slap me cos they think i called em fat

Wow.

You do need a bit more practice.

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By *atricia ParnelWoman
2 days ago

In a town full of colours

Mines the opposite. Online I find it really hard to read people and can mistake real interest in me when it's just instant gratification.

Face to face is my preferred way to pull, guys give off clear signals when chatting and I like reading their body language towards me

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