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I feel really awful

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After having her own place for 12 months my 20yr is coming home due to financial reasons.. The problem is she has two cats,. Now my 15yr old is allergic and I have two toddlers that would absolutely terrorize them! The older one goes out but the younger one doesn't. The older one is naughty and has soiled indoors a few times.

I've explained my situation and told her I don't want the cats here. As you can imagine she's heartbroke cause their her babies

What other way could I deal with this,. I feel so bad on her

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Could you help her rehome them with someone you know, may make her feel better if she knew they would be cared for and still hear how they are doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After having her own place for 12 months my 20yr is coming home due to financial reasons.. The problem is she has two cats,. Now my 15yr old is allergic and I have two toddlers that would absolutely terrorize them! The older one goes out but the younger one doesn't. The older one is naughty and has soiled indoors a few times.

I've explained my situation and told her I don't want the cats here. As you can imagine she's heartbroke cause their her babies

What other way could I deal with this,. I feel so bad on her"

Can you get the cats a rescue place 1st before saying she can't have them there, not that there are many places as the rescues are for to burst but might help her if she knows her cats are going to be safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a lot you can do unfortunately...you're giving her a home and one of the people in it are allergic to the cats. Not ideal, but surely she can understand that? Does she not have a friend that can take them in so she can still see them?

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

If your 15 year old is allergic then that's really the only justification you need, she can't expect to bring two cats into a house where someone is allergic to them. I'm a cat owner and lover myself and can't imagine how hard it will be on her but it isn't your fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your on Facebook try a page called Feline Network they might be able to help you with your plight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is there a garage or conservatory (somewhere disconnected from the main house) that you could convert for your 20yr old?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

toddlers will learn a valuable lesson in respect..

as for the allergic 15yr old..why not see how bad it is first

then consider rehoming

a month tryout xxxx

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

very tricky one and I can only imagine someone is going to end up very unhappy what ever choice is made. Im also allergic to cats but find that if I take hayfever tablets regular I can just about stand their company as I do really like them. Hope things work out for you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Could you help her rehome them with someone you know, may make her feel better if she knew they would be cared for and still hear how they are doing.

"

Thats what i was thinking, she could visit them maybe...but the one that soils might be difficult to get someone to have

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

I assume she intends on getting her own place again at some point so couldn't she find someone to long-term foster them? i.e she pays for their food and any vets bills but they just live under another roof until she moves again. It would mean she could also still see them and maintain a bond.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Could you help her rehome them with someone you know, may make her feel better if she knew they would be cared for and still hear how they are doing.

"

We've tried this but to no avail,. She asked my eldest daughter but she already has a female cat, the other two cats are male

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I. had to rehome my own 2cats few weeks ago due to bad health probs.

Had them for yrs. Lucky used to wrk.in.the. rehoming center..so knew how well they were going to be looked after.

as I used to be the one looking after animals being brought in..

I got a call frm the center this morn.to say they have gone to a lovely cpl....So happy I did the rite thing.

Its somthing to think about. They vet the people to make sure they will be taken care of. .

I understand compleatly what ur going through only you can decide whats best. best wishes..xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After having her own place for 12 months my 20yr is coming home due to financial reasons.. The problem is she has two cats,. Now my 15yr old is allergic and I have two toddlers that would absolutely terrorize them! The older one goes out but the younger one doesn't. The older one is naughty and has soiled indoors a few times.

I've explained my situation and told her I don't want the cats here. As you can imagine she's heartbroke cause their her babies

What other way could I deal with this,. I feel so bad on her

Can you get the cats a rescue place 1st before saying she can't have them there, not that there are many places as the rescues are for to burst but might help her if she knows her cats are going to be safe "

I mentioned this but she's so frightened that if they don't get rehomed that they'd be put down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It may be harsh to say no to the cats, however, at the end of the day, she should be grateful for your help when she needs it!!!

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham


"Could you help her rehome them with someone you know, may make her feel better if she knew they would be cared for and still hear how they are doing.

We've tried this but to no avail,. She asked my eldest daughter but she already has a female cat, the other two cats are male"

If they're all neutered that shouldn't be a problem.

I took my daughter and her fiancé and 2 female cats in for a year - I had 2 male cats. They all got along just fine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is there a garage or conservatory (somewhere disconnected from the main house) that you could convert for your 20yr old?"

oh god no,. Going to struggle for room

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It may be harsh to say no to the cats, however, at the end of the day, she should be grateful for your help when she needs it!!!

"

She really is so grateful

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"After having her own place for 12 months my 20yr is coming home due to financial reasons.. The problem is she has two cats,. Now my 15yr old is allergic and I have two toddlers that would absolutely terrorize them! The older one goes out but the younger one doesn't. The older one is naughty and has soiled indoors a few times.

I've explained my situation and told her I don't want the cats here. As you can imagine she's heartbroke cause their her babies

What other way could I deal with this,. I feel so bad on her"

Not being funny but I don't understand your problem.

You're doing her a favour, your dependent child is allergic and one cat shits itself.

Where's the angst?!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I assume she intends on getting her own place again at some point so couldn't she find someone to long-term foster them? i.e she pays for their food and any vets bills but they just live under another roof until she moves again. It would mean she could also still see them and maintain a bond.

"

We've no idea how long she'll be staying here

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

no one wants to upset their children and ask them to give anything up but if you have explored all options then thats all there is for it.

you could explain that it would be easier for the cats to go to a home that was less crowded ad without the toddler factor stressing them out etc

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After having her own place for 12 months my 20yr is coming home due to financial reasons.. The problem is she has two cats,. Now my 15yr old is allergic and I have two toddlers that would absolutely terrorize them! The older one goes out but the younger one doesn't. The older one is naughty and has soiled indoors a few times.

I've explained my situation and told her I don't want the cats here. As you can imagine she's heartbroke cause their her babies

What other way could I deal with this,. I feel so bad on her

Not being funny but I don't understand your problem.

You're doing her a favour, your dependent child is allergic and one cat shits itself.

Where's the angst?!!

"

She has accept what I've said, totally understands but we hate to see our children heartbroke

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"no one wants to upset their children and ask them to give anything up but if you have explored all options then thats all there is for it.

you could explain that it would be easier for the cats to go to a home that was less crowded ad without the toddler factor stressing them out etc"

Yes and I will try the support group somebody mentioned

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It will be hard for her and whilst I'm sure she understands deep down regarding the allergies etc, she is still going to be hurt about seeing them go.

I do think that after exhausting the options of asking friends, then rehoming is the best option. She will be upset for a short time but will come to terms with it. She won't hold it against you either, she will know about the allergy and not many people would have cats who urinate indoors as cat urine is notoriously difficult to clean, I wouldn't have cats because of that.

It is a shame, hope it all works out

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It will be hard for her and whilst I'm sure she understands deep down regarding the allergies etc, she is still going to be hurt about seeing them go.

I do think that after exhausting the options of asking friends, then rehoming is the best option. She will be upset for a short time but will come to terms with it. She won't hold it against you either, she will know about the allergy and not many people would have cats who urinate indoors as cat urine is notoriously difficult to clean, I wouldn't have cats because of that.

It is a shame, hope it all works out "

Thankyou,. I think that's what my problem is,. That I'm concerned she'll hold it against me. Although she does understand my reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are the male cats neutered? As that maybe easier to home them if they are

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Are the male cats neutered? As that maybe easier to home them if they are "

Unfortunately not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try cat protection league, we had to rehome a cat many years ago because of one of the kids x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After having her own place for 12 months my 20yr is coming home due to financial reasons.. The problem is she has two cats,. Now my 15yr old is allergic and I have two toddlers that would absolutely terrorize them! The older one goes out but the younger one doesn't. The older one is naughty and has soiled indoors a few times.

I've explained my situation and told her I don't want the cats here. As you can imagine she's heartbroke cause their her babies

What other way could I deal with this,. I feel so bad on her"

Bin the cats and buy her a dog.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish I was closer as I love cats and would have them plus she could visit them any time she wanted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wish I was closer as I love cats and would have them plus she could visit them any time she wanted "

Awh what a lovely gesture,. Thankyou x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my Dad are both looking for Tomcats too since my last cat died.

Think I might be too far away though..... :/

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Me and my Dad are both looking for Tomcats too since my last cat died.

Think I might be too far away though..... :/"

Yes but thankyou all the same

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