FabSwingers.com forum: I’m launching FUCAS

By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

…The Fab Unadvisory Conciliation and Arbitration Service.

In light of the many ghostings and unexplained Blocks that occur on Fab I will be providing a conciliation and arbitration service on behalf of both parties - to alleviate bruised egos on behalf of the rejected party and allow full and frank feedback without suffering any awkwardness or further embarrassment from the rejecting party.

It is the FUCAS position that any ghosting or blocking is simply accepted, uncontested and that no justifications are deemed necessary and that rejected parties adopt JLIMTNWI principles (Just Leave It Mate They’re Not Worth It), hence why it is an Unadvisory Service.

If the rejected party persist in the need to know why they were blocked, FUCAS will act as an intermediary.

To cut down on processing time and workload on FUCAS, the following stock replies may be used:

1️⃣ Used Profile Pictures purporting to be current images but were in fact from 20 years ago

2️⃣ Individual not the height / physique required or claimed

3️⃣ She/ He was a fucking psycho

4️⃣ Body odour caused Nausea

5️⃣ Person had not taken their scheduled meds necessary for normal civil behaviour

6️⃣ She / He was unattractive/ pig ugly / munter and / or had manipulated or ‘borrowed’ images from Internet (‘Misrepresentation’)

7️⃣ Stranger to / not familiar with the concept of soap

8️⃣ Recognised as a family member, neighbour, Ex partner, work colleague or in the case of our

valued Law Enforcement swinger community, rejected party was recognised as an active criminal known to Police.

9️⃣ OMG it was my kids teacher

🔟 Bottled it at last minute

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By *olfandtazCouple
11 weeks ago

Bristol

Pmsl I'm sure lots will be using this service

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

FUCAS Case Number 001.

BatWangerBabe089. You were blocked by AlphaDomMaster14 due to being “an absolute minger” and having Misrepresented by using Scarlett Johanssons pictures in lieu of actual representative images.

No further arbitration or conciliation will be undertaken - case closed

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By *hillCoupleNLCouple
11 weeks ago

St. John's

This is excellent!

Love your cheeky vibe Mr. Fox.

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"This is excellent!

Love your cheeky vibe Mr. Fox."

Mr. Fux 🙄

If FUCAS can be of service please don’t hesitate to get in touch

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Mr Fux.

Where is the "Nothing was wrong as such, I'm just not into you" stock option?

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
11 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

11 Made a profile pic public to get round message filters and then instantly hid it again.

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Mr Fux.

Where is the "Nothing was wrong as such, I'm just not into you" stock option?"

FUCAS has found that such paltry trifling excuses are insufficient to assuage the snubbed party and it just leads to drawn-out reconciliation- best to use something a little more definitive and worthy of being a true snub - such as one used only moments ago for rejection of topladfannymagnet89 by gorgeous vag34 - “Looked like a chav with a small cock and had beady eyes”.

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"11 Made a profile pic public to get round message filters and then instantly hid it again. "

What shenanigans is this? FUCAS is not aware of this technique or how it works? I shall consult a higher authority (or a forum mod)

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Mr Fux.

Where is the "Nothing was wrong as such, I'm just not into you" stock option?

Okay.

Then is there more of a It's not that you're a bad person in any way, it's just that I've been more aroused and excited by doing the month's ironing than I was by you.

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Mr Fux.

Where is the "Nothing was wrong as such, I'm just not into you" stock option?

Okay.

Then is there more of a It's not that you're a bad person in any way, it's just that I've been more aroused and excited by doing the month's ironing than I was by you."

Fuck.

Me.

Ruthless! 😮

Wanna job?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Mr Fux.

Where is the "Nothing was wrong as such, I'm just not into you" stock option?

Okay.

Then is there more of a It's not that you're a bad person in any way, it's just that I've been more aroused and excited by doing the month's ironing than I was by you.

Fuck.

Me.

Ruthless! 😮

Wanna job?"

Hand or blow?

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Mr Fux.

Where is the "Nothing was wrong as such, I'm just not into you" stock option?

Okay.

Then is there more of a It's not that you're a bad person in any way, it's just that I've been more aroused and excited by doing the month's ironing than I was by you.

Fuck.

Me.

Ruthless! 😮

Wanna job?

Hand or blow?"

Bring you in as a consultant to handle the tough cases so you can make them cry and go UNLOS

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

OP, I feel that you have missed the obvious one from a male perspective, which is:

"Whilst you may have considered it appropriate to dance naked in front of the TV on our meet, the fact that [insert football team name] were playing at the time, and your arse rather obscured my view, means that I shall not be partaking in The Sex with you anytime soon"

That worked for me in 1990s, though I think the retaliation along the Lorena Bobbitt lines, may be responsible for the lack of sex since then!

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"OP, I feel that you have missed the obvious one from a male perspective, which is:

That worked for me in 1990s, though I think the retaliation along the Lorena Bobbitt lines, may be responsible for the lack of sex since then!"

It’s a bit niche for a stock answer mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
11 weeks ago

"OP, I feel that you have missed the obvious one from a male perspective, which is:

That worked for me in 1990s, though I think the retaliation along the Lorena Bobbitt lines, may be responsible for the lack of sex since then!

It’s a bit niche for a stock answer mate. "

Option 6348754: "Her underwear was the wrong shade of periwinkle"

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"Bring you in as a consultant to handle the tough cases so you can make them cry and go UNLOS"

Sure 💜

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
11 weeks ago

Central

Is it a button on both the profile and the received message box screen already, to avail of this service?

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By *ansoffateMan
11 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

That was an entertaining read, thank you.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
11 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

You were almost as exciting as watching a county cricket match.

You were excessively negative. It's trash can. Not trash cannot.

Your attempts at banter made me so dry that it was like putting my hand in a bag of dry flour when I got home and tried to distract myself from the experience.

It's just not fair for me to take you way from all the other girls you could be showing how much worse things can get.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

Your milkshake did not bring all the girls to the yard. It was lumpy as fuck and rancid

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By *electableicecreamMan
11 weeks ago

The West

Dear FUCAS customer service,

I was recently blocked after having a very pleasant correspondence with a mature lady. Everything was going fine until I sent her a bread themed haiku about baps and baguettes.

I fear this has ruined fab for all women now as the least she could do was explain her inability to appreciate wheat based Japanese poetry. I just can't trust the women on FAB anymore.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
11 weeks ago

North West

"Dear FUCAS customer service,

I was recently blocked after having a very pleasant correspondence with a mature lady. Everything was going fine until I sent her a bread themed haiku about baps and baguettes.

I fear this has ruined fab for all women now as the least she could do was explain her inability to appreciate wheat based Japanese poetry. I just can't trust the women on FAB anymore."

She was probably gluten intolerant. Didn't you think about that, eh? Eh? Deary me.

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By *electableicecreamMan
11 weeks ago

The West

"Dear FUCAS customer service,

I was recently blocked after having a very pleasant correspondence with a mature lady. Everything was going fine until I sent her a bread themed haiku about baps and baguettes.

I fear this has ruined fab for all women now as the least she could do was explain her inability to appreciate wheat based Japanese poetry. I just can't trust the women on FAB anymore.

She was probably gluten intolerant. Didn't you think about that, eh? Eh? Deary me. "

There's no need for bread shaming. I feel attacked!

This is why we need FUCAL

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By *electableicecreamMan
11 weeks ago

The West

*FUCAS

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Dear FUCAS customer service,

I was recently blocked after having a very pleasant correspondence with a mature lady. Everything was going fine until I sent her a bread themed haiku about baps and baguettes.

I fear this has ruined fab for all women now as the least she could do was explain her inability to appreciate wheat based Japanese poetry. I just can't trust the women on FAB anymore."

We have been in touch and can verify that there was expectation of lame licking gags and innuendo. You blew it with your bread patter. Case closed

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Dear FUCAS customer service,

I was recently blocked after having a very pleasant correspondence with a mature lady. Everything was going fine until I sent her a bread themed haiku about baps and baguettes.

I fear this has ruined fab for all women now as the least she could do was explain her inability to appreciate wheat based Japanese poetry. I just can't trust the women on FAB anymore.

We have been in touch and can verify that there was expectation of lame licking gags and innuendo. You blew it with your bread patter. Case closed"

PS on a personal note your Fab handle is _electableicecream… for fucks sake

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By *ase4122Man
11 weeks ago

Lancashire

Way too much time on your hands to think all that up

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By *he Silver Fux OP Man
11 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"Way too much time on your hands to think all that up"

Are you new to the forums? Cos this ain’t shit in comparison to most threads 😂

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By *ase4122Man
11 weeks ago

Lancashire

"Way too much time on your hands to think all that up

Are you new to the forums? Cos this ain’t shit in comparison to most threads 😂"

Nope, not new.

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