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"As a semantic bore I would say that cheating and swinging are mutually exclusive. Both involve sex outside of your relationship; but cheating by definition has to be without consent of the cheated party. Swinging is with their consent because it's a shared activity even if the other party isn't present during the act. It's also why I consider that semantically a single person cannot be a "swinger" though that doesn't make their participation in the swinging world any less valid (and appreciated) " Swingle? | |||
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" It's also why I consider that semantically a single person cannot be a "swinger" though that doesn't make their participation in the swinging world any less valid (and appreciated) " I've always personally disagreed with this concept. You don't need a partner to swing. If it was exclusively for couples then it would simply be wife swapping. Sure, two singles meeting for a 1-2-1 could be construed as simply casual sex with no strings attached, but what about threesomes and moresomes that include singletons? What of all the swinging couples seeking a unicorn. What of the women in couples who love an MMF/MFM or whatever number of men pleasuring them? Do they cease to be swingers the second they involve a single person in the bedroom? The debate will go on for eternity, and there's no right answer. But marginalising singles in the swinging scene does come across as couples placing themselves on some kind of pedestal. As long as there us full enthusiastic consent and open honesty, anyone can be a swinger. Single, couple, throuple, poly group or any dynamic. | |||
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" It's also why I consider that semantically a single person cannot be a "swinger" though that doesn't make their participation in the swinging world any less valid (and appreciated) I've always personally disagreed with this concept. You don't need a partner to swing. If it was exclusively for couples then it would simply be wife swapping. Sure, two singles meeting for a 1-2-1 could be construed as simply casual sex with no strings attached, but what about threesomes and moresomes that include singletons? What of all the swinging couples seeking a unicorn. What of the women in couples who love an MMF/MFM or whatever number of men pleasuring them? Do they cease to be swingers the second they involve a single person in the bedroom? The debate will go on for eternity, and there's no right answer. But marginalising singles in the swinging scene does come across as couples placing themselves on some kind of pedestal. As long as there us full enthusiastic consent and open honesty, anyone can be a swinger. Single, couple, throuple, poly group or any dynamic." I can see how some might present it that way; certainly I wouldn't because I wouldn't say that there is any cache in the term swinger. It's not a badge of honour or dishonour, simply a term of description. I suppose unless Miriam-Webster come up with an authoritative definition is is always going to be a debate on the semantics. My personal view and it is only that is that a swinger is a person who engages in an act of swinging. And swinging for me is defined as partner sharing in any particular configuration. It is the partner element that distinguishes swinging from simply group or casual sex. If 4 singles get together for sex it's group sex, because the relational element between the parties isn't present. If a couple meets a single then the couple are swingers and the single is an adjunct of that swinging. But again, not any less a valid part of it. 2 hydrogen molecules and an oxygen molecule are water. The oxygen doesn't become hydrogen because of the bonding; but we'd all be in a worse place if the bond didn't happen :P | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have " I get what you mean but I don't believe the 'swinging world' such as it exists is built on communication, trust and honesty. I see those as traits of some individuals involved in the 'swinging world' and not in others. For me the swinging world is built on sex. Just sex. | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have " I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me. | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me." *As far as you're aware. Their spouse probably thinks the same thing 💜 | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me." I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. It's quite possible to choose who you display those qualities to, you said it when you added 'with me'.  | |||
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"As a semantic bore I would say that cheating and swinging are mutually exclusive. Both involve sex outside of your relationship; but cheating by definition has to be without consent of the cheated party. Swinging is with their consent because it's a shared activity even if the other party isn't present during the act. It's also why I consider that semantically a single person cannot be a "swinger" though that doesn't make their participation in the swinging world any less valid (and appreciated) " Yes, you are right there, cheating and swinging are mutually exclusive too | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me. *As far as you're aware. Their spouse probably thinks the same thing 💜" *As far as I'm aware, yes. But that goes for anyone doesn't it? | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me. *As far as you're aware. Their spouse probably thinks the same thing 💜 *As far as I'm aware, yes. But that goes for anyone doesn't it?" Oh absolutely. You don't know what someone is hiding from you until you know. But going into it eyes open to someone who can so successfully fake that with people they at least pretend to care for, and not at least being aware that the chances of someone they meet on a 'fuck site' being more worthy of honesty to them than someone they've chosen to spend their life with, it's an odd choice to me. You can make your own choices. I'm not saying you can't. Just pointing out that someone who is presenting as honest and trustworthy to you isn't necessarily excelling at either. | |||
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"Cheating is NOT swinging Single women looking for a hook up is not swinging Single men looking for a hook up is not swinging Couples seeking to spice up their sex life is not swinging Men encouraging their wives/partners to have sex with others for their entertainment is not swinging. Women encouraging their husbands/partners to have sex with men for their entertainment is not swinging People nipping down to the woods to watch a gang bang is not swinging Definitions of swinging in some dictionaries e.g. group sex and wife swapping are not swinging. " Time to drop the term 'swinging'? | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me. *As far as you're aware. Their spouse probably thinks the same thing 💜 *As far as I'm aware, yes. But that goes for anyone doesn't it? Oh absolutely. You don't know what someone is hiding from you until you know. But going into it eyes open to someone who can so successfully fake that with people they at least pretend to care for, and not at least being aware that the chances of someone they meet on a 'fuck site' being more worthy of honesty to them than someone they've chosen to spend their life with, it's an odd choice to me. You can make your own choices. I'm not saying you can't. Just pointing out that someone who is presenting as honest and trustworthy to you isn't necessarily excelling at either." This! Someone being honest with you to get their leg over while lying and being deceitful to the person they took a vow to spend the rest of their like with, doesn't make them an honest person | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me." "With you" but not with thier life long partner? | |||
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"People can partake in swinging without their partner's knowledge. It's just sex." Cut on tip of my finger is just a cut but my word it's like a paper cut Nanna 😳 | |||
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"People can partake in swinging without their partner's knowledge. It's just sex." Cheating is still cheating regardless of if swinging is involved or not. | |||
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" …. But marginalising singles in the swinging scene does come across as couples placing themselves on some kind of pedestal. As long as there us full enthusiastic consent and open honesty, anyone can be a swinger. Single, couple, throuple, poly group or any dynamic." I’m on here in a couple now, and nothing in my attitude has changed about all of this swinging stuff, so I’d stand with you with your argument that peoples sentiments for doing this type of things with a relaxed attitude to sex is what makes them a swinger and not their relationship status. | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me. *As far as you're aware. Their spouse probably thinks the same thing 💜 *As far as I'm aware, yes. But that goes for anyone doesn't it? Oh absolutely. You don't know what someone is hiding from you until you know. But going into it eyes open to someone who can so successfully fake that with people they at least pretend to care for, and not at least being aware that the chances of someone they meet on a 'fuck site' being more worthy of honesty to them than someone they've chosen to spend their life with, it's an odd choice to me. You can make your own choices. I'm not saying you can't. Just pointing out that someone who is presenting as honest and trustworthy to you isn't necessarily excelling at either. This! Someone being honest with you to get their leg over while lying and being deceitful to the person they took a vow to spend the rest of their like with, doesn't make them an honest person " You're both right, but you're not comparing apples with apples. Were they open with me about what they were searching for? Yes. Were they honest about their situation with me? Yes. Did I trust and feel safe around them? Yes. As I said further up, we all have our opinions on this matter and whether we're okay with it. No matter how many times this topic gets churned out, our opinions on what we're okay with won't change. Everyone is searching for different dynamics. Maybe I don't require the same level of trust you require💜 | |||
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" It's also why I consider that semantically a single person cannot be a "swinger" though that doesn't make their participation in the swinging world any less valid (and appreciated) I've always personally disagreed with this concept. You don't need a partner to swing. If it was exclusively for couples then it would simply be wife swapping. Sure, two singles meeting for a 1-2-1 could be construed as simply casual sex with no strings attached, but what about threesomes and moresomes that include singletons? What of all the swinging couples seeking a unicorn. What of the women in couples who love an MMF/MFM or whatever number of men pleasuring them? Do they cease to be swingers the second they involve a single person in the bedroom? The debate will go on for eternity, and there's no right answer. But marginalising singles in the swinging scene does come across as couples placing themselves on some kind of pedestal. As long as there us full enthusiastic consent and open honesty, anyone can be a swinger. Single, couple, throuple, poly group or any dynamic." Most definitely agree with this, Single females and males are for us a pivotal part of our lifestyle choice,which is swinging. | |||
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"Cheating removes consent. Consent only counts when it is both informed and enthusiastic. If you have to beg for consent from someone who's said no until they give in. It is not consent. If you have to deliberately keep something from someone because you know that the truth would mean they wouldn't fuck you. They remove the option for them to be a genuinely willing participant. That is not consent. Fucking someone without their informed and enthusiastic consent, particularly in one on one scenarios, is wrong 💜" Cheating does not remove consent. The party who is unaware isn’t taking part in any activity. They don’t need to “consent” to anything because they have nothing to do with it. Yes cheating is bad, but it’s quite a leap to make out that means their partner is is non-consenting party in this (it makes it sound like an assault or crime against that person), when quite simply they are not involved at all. I know it’s just semantics but I’m not sure about how extreme language has been used in all kinds of things lately. Nothing personal. | |||
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"... Someone being honest with you to get their leg over while lying and being deceitful to the person they took a vow to spend the rest of their like with, doesn't make them an honest person " You have it in one "the rest of their like"!   | |||
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"... Someone being honest with you to get their leg over while lying and being deceitful to the person they took a vow to spend the rest of their like with, doesn't make them an honest person You have it in one "the rest of their like"! "Obvious a typo, doesn't take away from what I'm saying though does it | |||
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"Cheating does not remove consent. The party who is unaware isn’t taking part in any activity. They don’t need to “consent” to anything because they have nothing to do with it. Yes cheating is bad, but it’s quite a leap to make out that means their partner is is non-consenting party in this (it makes it sound like an assault or crime against that person), when quite simply they are not involved at all. I know it’s just semantics but I’m not sure about how extreme language has been used in all kinds of things lately. Nothing personal." I will accept that cheating does not remove consent from the parties engaging in it if both sides are entirely informed. But they're still taking away the spouse's right to make an informed decision about their future and sexual choices. And I still stand by that if you believe someone will keep that relevant information from the person they've chosen to be their life partner and not keep relevant information from someone they're fucking on the side, that's their choice to believe. But it wouldn't be mine 💜 | |||
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"People can partake in swinging without their partner's knowledge. It's just sex. Cheating is still cheating regardless of if swinging is involved or not. " I know that. A person involved in the swinging scene can still be a swinger if they are cheating. | |||
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"Cheating removes consent. Consent only counts when it is both informed and enthusiastic. If you have to beg for consent from someone who's said no until they give in. It is not consent. If you have to deliberately keep something from someone because you know that the truth would mean they wouldn't fuck you. They remove the option for them to be a genuinely willing participant. That is not consent. Fucking someone without their informed and enthusiastic consent, particularly in one on one scenarios, is wrong 💜 Cheating does not remove consent. The party who is unaware isn’t taking part in any activity. They don’t need to “consent” to anything because they have nothing to do with it. Yes cheating is bad, but it’s quite a leap to make out that means their partner is is non-consenting party in this (it makes it sound like an assault or crime against that person), when quite simply they are not involved at all. I know it’s just semantics but I’m not sure about how extreme language has been used in all kinds of things lately. Nothing personal." If two people are in a monogamous relationship and one of them is cheating then the person cheating has removed consent from their partner to have another person active in their sex life. Cheater's are much less likely to do regular STI testing and therefore more likely to pass one to their partner. You can be sure the unsuspecting partner did not consent to that. | |||
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"Cheating removes consent. Consent only counts when it is both informed and enthusiastic. If you have to beg for consent from someone who's said no until they give in. It is not consent. If you have to deliberately keep something from someone because you know that the truth would mean they wouldn't fuck you. They remove the option for them to be a genuinely willing participant. That is not consent. Fucking someone without their informed and enthusiastic consent, particularly in one on one scenarios, is wrong 💜 Cheating does not remove consent. The party who is unaware isn’t taking part in any activity. They don’t need to “consent” to anything because they have nothing to do with it. Yes cheating is bad, but it’s quite a leap to make out that means their partner is is non-consenting party in this (it makes it sound like an assault or crime against that person), when quite simply they are not involved at all. I know it’s just semantics but I’m not sure about how extreme language has been used in all kinds of things lately. Nothing personal. If two people are in a monogamous relationship and one of them is cheating then the person cheating has removed consent from their partner to have another person active in their sex life. Cheater's are much less likely to do regular STI testing and therefore more likely to pass one to their partner. You can be sure the unsuspecting partner did not consent to that." Agreed. I think most people would not continue to have sex with their partner if they found out they were cheating, so yes, it does remove their informed consent. Just because they may not be actively participating in the same moment, by being dishonest, informed consent has been removed. A woman I know had sex with someone else whilst her husband was working away and then had sex with her husband a few hours later when he got home… I doubt the husband would have slept with her that day had he known what she’d been up to behind his back… | |||
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"Cheaters never prosper I don't think they have a place in the swinging world, as its build of communication, honesty and trust - non of those are traits that cheaters have I've been with cheaters on here who have excelled in all of those traits with me. *As far as you're aware. Their spouse probably thinks the same thing 💜 *As far as I'm aware, yes. But that goes for anyone doesn't it? Oh absolutely. You don't know what someone is hiding from you until you know. But going into it eyes open to someone who can so successfully fake that with people they at least pretend to care for, and not at least being aware that the chances of someone they meet on a 'fuck site' being more worthy of honesty to them than someone they've chosen to spend their life with, it's an odd choice to me. You can make your own choices. I'm not saying you can't. Just pointing out that someone who is presenting as honest and trustworthy to you isn't necessarily excelling at either. This! Someone being honest with you to get their leg over while lying and being deceitful to the person they took a vow to spend the rest of their like with, doesn't make them an honest person You're both right, but you're not comparing apples with apples. Were they open with me about what they were searching for? Yes. Were they honest about their situation with me? Yes. Did I trust and feel safe around them? Yes. As I said further up, we all have our opinions on this matter and whether we're okay with it. No matter how many times this topic gets churned out, our opinions on what we're okay with won't change. Everyone is searching for different dynamics. Maybe I don't require the same level of trust you require💜" I guess you may feel happy with this surface level of 'honesty, trust and communication' if it is a one off thing. Personally, (I'm drawing on some level of personal experience here) the above honesty and communication I know can get warped and manipulated so I wouldn't feel comfortable. If this was for an ongoing relationship be it a regular swing relationship or something a bit more..... this same 'honesty and communication' could be said to someone else, without my knowledge. As if they can do this to a spouse, why am I so special? They could cheat on me! I'm just a fling, not someone you pledged to share your life with. So I wouldn't be able to completely trust a cheater. I say this in hindsight btw. To be a swinger I would have thought it needs honesty so everyone knows where they are and can decide if they want to proceed or not. You can apply your morals, if you decide to swing with a cheater just being aware that if it is a regular thing, they are likely to cheat on you. Just because you maybe a swinger doesn't mean they will be honest with you about potential meets in the future. I agree with many on here, just be honest, everyone knows where they stand then. But then there will always be those who cheat for whatever reason. I speak as someone who has been a cheater (like everyone, I had my reasons) and as someone who has experienced dishonesty and manipulation and am still sifting through feelings and the consequences of that time. | |||
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"Cheating isn't swinging in my opinion. Swinging is kinda like the hippy idea of free open love. Cheating is about getting sex with no regard to other people. Very different things." For me, so onpoint and concise! | |||
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"There are a lot of different definitions of swinging. Some people insist it's couples only others have a broader definition and include single people. Quite a few involved in swinging have an unaware partner somewhere. That in my opinion isn't something for me to worry about or police unless they want me to be directly involved or ask my opinion. " Yes, you are right, there are a lot of different definitions of swinging too | |||
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"I stumbled across a profile here and I agree what it said on it, that cheating is not swinging, in my view, swinging is about trust and about building honesty, it is about sharing, understanding and exploring sexual desires and fantasies together. What is your view about it, do you agree that cheating is not swinging, what would you add to it what swinging is? "Definitely don’t think cheating is swinging, regardless of anything else it’s not being open, honest or trustworthy with the partner they have and someone always gets hurt, which isn’t ok for me. Think “swinging is about trust and about building honesty, it is about sharing, understanding and exploring sexual desires and fantasies together.” Summaries it pretty well for me though | |||
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I’ll grab the popcorn and keep an eye out for the cheating married men as tbh I find them the best and most honest swingers out there.
How they wish to conduct themselves with others is non of my business, how they conduct themselves with me is. | |||
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"people judging other by their own morals
I’ll grab the popcorn and keep an eye out for the cheating married men as tbh I find them the best and most honest swingers out there.
How they wish to conduct themselves with others is non of my business, how they conduct themselves with me is."This! | |||
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