FabSwingers.com forum: I'd have sex

By *parkle1974 OP Woman
19 weeks ago

Leeds

I'd have sex with you but.....

Why wouldn't you have sex with the poster above (funny answers only) x

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By *egDaySkipperMan
19 weeks ago

Liverpool

Your tits are so massive that I would be at risk of severe head concussion if they were to swing my way!

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By *ay W. BeauWoman
19 weeks ago

Wolvo

[Removed by poster at 04/09/24 20:23:05]

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By *mmaleiaWoman
19 weeks ago

Trowbridge

"Your tits are so massive that I would be at risk of severe head concussion if they were to swing my way!"

I can’t play the glockenspiel with my vagina

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By *ensuallover1000Man
19 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’d have sex with you….but an extraterrestrial craft has just this moment landed in my back garden and the little buggers on board are impatiently beckoning me over for the obligatory anal probe….

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
19 weeks ago

Lincoln

I had a big dinner 🤢

LvM

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By *ay W. BeauWoman
19 weeks ago

Wolvo

My libido is missing. Help me find it 😭😭😭

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By *orthern BeardMan
19 weeks ago

Preston

"Your tits are so massive that I would be at risk of severe head concussion if they were to swing my way!

I can’t play the glockenspiel with my vagina"

It would be too much goth for one bed

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By *lfa RomeoMan
19 weeks ago

southeast , Herts, Beds

[Removed by poster at 04/09/24 20:26:13]

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By *lfa RomeoMan
19 weeks ago

southeast , Herts, Beds

"I'd have sex with you but.....

Why wouldn't you have sex with the poster above (funny answers only) x"

I'd have sex with op, but my cock is to small

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By *agatoXXXMan
19 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"I'd have sex with you but.....

Why wouldn't you have sex with the poster above (funny answers only) x

I'd have sex with op, but my cock is to small

You are a man person.

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By *cLovin2Man
19 weeks ago

Reading

Your dongle puts me off, that & the lack of vagina/ boobs

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By *h3rry Bomb80Man
19 weeks ago

the moon

He’s a dude …

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By *otguy555Man
19 weeks ago

Bristol

His cock is to small

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By *appytochatMan
19 weeks ago

Deep in the New Forest

I'm a giver not a receiver

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
19 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

You've not been in the queue anywhere near long enough.

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By *einster-CoupleCouple
19 weeks ago

Dublin

"I'm a giver not a receiver "

You're too far away...Mrs L-C

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By *rHotNottsMan
19 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I'm a giver not a receiver

You're too far away...Mrs L-C"

Bambi won’t let me

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By *mf123Man
19 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

My penis would become an innie

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By *ffervescentMan
19 weeks ago

winfrith

I'd burn myself

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By *cLovin2Man
19 weeks ago

Reading

"I'm a giver not a receiver

You're too far away...Mrs L-C"

But my dick isn't able to cross the Irish sea, that I don't do catholic/protestants (delete as appropriate)

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By *quirrel!Man
19 weeks ago

…..but you’d need a bigger bike!

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
19 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"…..but you’d need a bigger bike!

You have a marmite stained rusty tea towel holder instead of a minge.

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By *oodmessMan
19 weeks ago

yumsville

"…..but you’d need a bigger bike!

You have a marmite stained rusty tea towel holder instead of a minge."

I would but I'd have to bash my hand with a hammer so as it could service a hole such as yours

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By *nnCeeWoman
19 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

I would have sex with you...

But giant penguins fried too much bacon at the last scout jamboree in Malabo. And they were wearing light up Healeys. Tut tut.

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By *odgerMooreMan
19 weeks ago

Nowhere

"I would have sex with you...

But giant penguins fried too much bacon at the last scout jamboree in Malabo. And they were wearing light up Healeys. Tut tut."

Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

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By *nnCeeWoman
19 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

Dammit!!! Foiled again!

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By *odgerMooreMan
19 weeks ago

Nowhere

"Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

Dammit!!! Foiled again!"

The werthers are in my pants… help yourself!!

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By *aizyWoman
19 weeks ago

west midlands

"Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

Dammit!!! Foiled again!

The werthers are in my pants… help yourself!!

I would but, he has werthers stuck to his willy, I don't like werthers

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By *imples24Man
19 weeks ago

tamworth

"Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

Dammit!!! Foiled again!

The werthers are in my pants… help yourself!!

I would but, he has werthers stuck to his willy, I don't like werthers

Because she don’t like werthers

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By *agatoXXXMan
19 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

Dammit!!! Foiled again!

The werthers are in my pants… help yourself!!

I would but, he has werthers stuck to his willy, I don't like werthers

I like Werthers, but I don't like willies...

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By *cLovin2Man
19 weeks ago

Reading

"Sadly I can’t have sex with you because I suspect your just after my werthers originals

Dammit!!! Foiled again!

The werthers are in my pants… help yourself!!

I would but, he has werthers stuck to his willy, I don't like werthers

Imagine trying to peel a sticky werthers off my willy, painful!

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By *hilloutMan
19 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Because one eyed snakes aren't my thing 😜

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"Because one eyed snakes aren't my thing 😜"

Because he takes more photos of himself than me! 😜🤣

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By *hunky GentMan
19 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

You're far too tall.

And male

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
19 weeks ago

louth

I’d have sex with you but I’d lose my place in the queue at the Waitrose cheese counter

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
19 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I’d have sex with you but that would be effort...

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
19 weeks ago

Around the Midlands

"I’d have sex with you but that would be effort...

But you've hidden yourself so well

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By *cLovin2Man
19 weeks ago

Reading

"I’d have sex with you but that would be effort...

But you've hidden yourself so well"

I'd have sex with your missus, but you forgot the chaat masala

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By *oneyDukesCouple
19 weeks ago

The Pleasure Dome.

Sure I’d have sex with you,… it’s about the stars and I think your star sign doesn’t click with mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"I’d have sex with you but that would be effort...

But you've hidden yourself so well"

I don’t like sweet and spicy…..bitter and murky is more my taste

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By *hunky GentMan
19 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I'd have sex with you, but I prefer a multi-tool.

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"I’d have sex with you but that would be effort...

But you've hidden yourself so well

I don’t like sweet and spicy…..bitter and murky is more my taste "

I'd have sex with you but using that attachment for taking the stones out of horses hooves is a bit niche for Fab...

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

But ... Has a scribbled willy

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"I'd have sex with you, but I prefer a multi-tool.

I'd be worried about the bath boiling dry while we fucked leading to the discovery of delicious salt at the bottom

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By *egDaySkipperMan
19 weeks ago

Liverpool

But gingers are too kinky for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"But gingers are too kinky for me!"

He misses leg day, far too much of a lightweight for me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"But gingers are too kinky for me!"

You skip leg day

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By *hrek101Man
19 weeks ago

Herts

"But gingers are too kinky for me!

You skip leg day

I don't have the girth

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By *outhern77Man
19 weeks ago

Quinton

"But gingers are too kinky for me!

You skip leg day

I don't have the girth"

You look a lot better than me

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
19 weeks ago

Merseyside

"But gingers are too kinky for me!

You skip leg day

I don't have the girth

You look a lot better than me"

Wearing a hat during sex can be off putting

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By *upersonic SamMan
19 weeks ago

wigan

They turned up d*unk, had a wee on the cat and then Mrs fanny farted the national anthem whilst eating cheeto’s

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By *vaRose43Woman
19 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

"They turned up d*unk, had a wee on the cat and then Mrs fanny farted the national anthem whilst eating cheeto’s"

Your bum looks better in pants than mine

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By *hunky GentMan
19 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

You gave me the wrong bloody postcode

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By *aizyWoman
19 weeks ago

west midlands

"You gave me the wrong bloody postcode

I gave him my postcode, got my best blue undies on and he didn't turn up.

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By *uckurcumMan
19 weeks ago

Bishop Auckland

If only I could find your cock !

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By *upersonic SamMan
19 weeks ago

wigan

He insisted on a car meet and turned up on a motorbike

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

Someone didn't look carefully enough at their hotdog so it's no longer possible

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By *ondonlad_88Man
19 weeks ago

south East

"Someone didn't look carefully enough at their hotdog so it's no longer possible"

Those pink gloves would contrast with my skin

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
19 weeks ago

Leeds

"Someone didn't look carefully enough at their hotdog so it's no longer possible

Those pink gloves would contrast with my skin "

The emoji scares me

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

"Someone didn't look carefully enough at their hotdog so it's no longer possible

Those pink gloves would contrast with my skin

The emoji scares me

Mrs "

I wouldn’t want to break your coffee table

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By *ensuallover1000Man
19 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

….I appear to have misplaced my penis…. 😕

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
19 weeks ago

Stoke

"….I appear to have misplaced my penis…. 😕"

I've not unfortunately had 999 sensual lovers, sorry.

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By *adtaffladMan
19 weeks ago

Rhyl

A bit too Jessica rabbit

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By *.hrisMan
19 weeks ago

Bath

Too manly for me!

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By *WANDTGCouple
19 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

We'd be worried about hurting that sunburn!

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By *enus444Man
19 weeks ago

Harrow

You might tie me up in a field and leave me for dead!

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By *onnydayzMan
19 weeks ago

preston

I'm not sure who to take first.

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By *ympha LuxuriaWoman
19 weeks ago

La La Land

"I'm not sure who to take first."

He has a real penis

I prefer the strap on variety

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By *regoonMan
19 weeks ago

Uxbridge

Your body might ruin other women for me

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By (user no longer on site)
19 weeks ago

It's Thursday.

I don't have sex on Thursdays.

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By *upersonic SamMan
19 weeks ago

wigan

Apparently you have been cultivating mushrooms up your vag, I don’t like mushrooms

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By *igmac135Man
19 weeks ago

Craigavon

But you can with your tits ?? Great trick that

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By *ffervescentMan
19 weeks ago

winfrith

McDonald's Yuk

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By *outhern77Man
19 weeks ago

Quinton

You have traumatised that teddy bear

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By *lue Eyed JokerMan
19 weeks ago

Always on the move

I'm scared of cool hats

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By *iss DevilWoman
19 weeks ago

Bedford

I am worried you may actually turn up with the purple devil's head instead of your own.

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By *outhern77Man
19 weeks ago

Quinton

"I am worried you may actually turn up with the purple devil's head instead of your own. "

Those Claws are making my Vampires jealous

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By *ffervescentMan
19 weeks ago

winfrith

"You have traumatised that teddy bear"
Its a puppet

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By *ewBurtonMan
19 weeks ago

Derby

"You have traumatised that teddy bearIts a puppet "

I don’t like mustard 😂

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