FabSwingers.com forum: What are some guaranteed ways to insult a British person

By *usman 199 OP Man
10 weeks ago

Stockport

Morning everyone

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
10 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Queue jump. 😂😂

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By *xhib12Man
10 weeks ago

Blyth

Put the milk in first when making a cuppa.

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By *ea monkeyMan
10 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

Tut loudly when they do something

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By *a LunaWoman
10 weeks ago

South Wales

Put a towel on a sunbed

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By *allySlinkyWoman
10 weeks ago

Leeds

Put up an umbrella at an outdoor concert

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Call them French

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
10 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

Saying you love your country

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By *ongjonsliver555Man
10 weeks ago

London

Not speak English when we holiday in their country

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By *exxyyDy11Man
10 weeks ago

North West

"Queue jump. 😂😂"

Oh that pisses me off

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By *aomilatteCouple
10 weeks ago

Midlands

Make a joke of anything 🤫

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By *ildmanYorksMan
10 weeks ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

If it's someone from Yorkshire ask them if they're from Lancashire!

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By *idnight RamblerMan
10 weeks ago

Pershore

Grow a tall garden hedge

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By *allySlinkyWoman
10 weeks ago

Leeds

Mow your lawn 7am on a Sunday

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
10 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"Mow your lawn 7am on a Sunday"

And then tidy it all up with a lovely smokey bonfire.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
10 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Don't offer them a brew.

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By *ragonbaitCouple
10 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

"Put the milk in first when making a cuppa."

Unless you’ve brewed your tea in a nice pot, where in that case putting the milk in first is essential

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By *eordieJeansCouple
10 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Pissing on their crumpets.

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By *zeroMan
10 weeks ago

Glasgow

Microwave the water for a cup of tea

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By *ymClassDropoutMan
10 weeks ago

Berkshire

Tell them the 1966 World Cup win was a fluke !!!

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By *asterAndFuckToyCouple
10 weeks ago

Newport

Having just got back from Cyprus, not saying thank you when someone lets you go through a door first

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By *ragonbaitCouple
10 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

"Tell them the 1966 World Cup win was a fluke !!!"

Ok so I’m Welsh, British, European and a world citizen

So a (rather good) game of a silly sport 48 years ago is still the pinnacle of English sporting prowess?

Come on old man! Keep this British! Tea and crumpets please, not soccer!!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
10 weeks ago

Essex

"Don't offer them a brew.

You animal. 🤣

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By *olfandtazCouple
10 weeks ago

Bristol

Put something other than butter first on a crumpet

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By *lack beauty 35Woman
10 weeks ago

South west

Panic buying

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By *hunky GentMan
10 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

If they're Welsh or Scottish - call them English.

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
10 weeks ago

Newcastle

Don’t say thank you when they’ve held a door open for you….

It’s a sure fire way to make them say ‘You’re welcome! 🙄’ under their breath (or loudly in some cases)

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By *ragonbaitCouple
10 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

"Put something other than butter first on a crumpet "

Oh goodness, the thought makes me sick.

I once didn’t toast the crumpet quite enough and nearly ended up single!

I would have deserved it frankly

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By *hunky GentMan
10 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Don’t say thank you when they’ve held a door open for you….

It’s a sure fire way to make them say ‘You’re welcome! 🙄’ under their breath (or loudly in some cases)"

You may get your bum pinched.

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By *zeroMan
10 weeks ago

Glasgow

"If they're Welsh or Scottish - call them English.

If they are Scottish or Northern Irish, refuse their banknotes

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By *ell GwynnWoman
10 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"Don’t say thank you when they’ve held a door open for you….

It’s a sure fire way to make them say ‘You’re welcome! 🙄’ under their breath (or loudly in some cases)"

I see you've met my mother

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By *cLovin2Man
10 weeks ago

Reading

Tell them you don't like pasta and don't use toilet paper.

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By *anceAloneWoman
10 weeks ago

Adjacent to him

"Microwave the water for a cup of tea"

I threw up a bit in my mouth at that one 😆

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Suggest that Henderson's Relish is the same as Worcestershire sauce! (maybe that's more how to insult someone from Sheffield).

Mispronounce our towns, cities and county names, such as Worcestershire, Gloucestershire, Birmingham, Bicester, Edinburgh, Marleybone, Leicester...

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By *illy IdolMan
10 weeks ago

Midlands

Don't indicate when turning.

Don't drive away from the green light, within a nano second.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
10 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Tell someone that we didn't win the second world war single handed

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By *ommy trucker1Man
10 weeks ago

south wales

Asking if I'm English when clearly I've got a strong welsh accent

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By *irthandgirthMan
10 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Put the wrong bin out the night before so everyone copies you, then swap your early morning.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
10 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Push in front of them in a queue.

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By *irthandgirthMan
10 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Tell someone that we didn't win the second world war single handed

That's nothing on telling Americans they only played a minor part in our war with France, Spain and the Netherlands in 1776 amd we weren't really trying, and didnt really notice. Also they need to thank the French on 4th of July.

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

'I'm from Wales'

"That's in England, right? Like, basically in England?"

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By *osco78Man
10 weeks ago

Sheffield

Offer sommeone a brew and then give them Tetley

I'd rather drink dishwater

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By *enk15Man
10 weeks ago

Evesham

pronounce it o-reg-ano, not o-ruh-gaa-no

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By *vaRose43Woman
10 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

Make hot drinks in the microwave

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By *hunky GentMan
10 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Cook bacon I'm the microwave

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By *ragonbaitCouple
10 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

"Offer sommeone a brew and then give them Tetley

I'd rather drink dishwater "

You deserve to be banned for mentioning tetley, worse still would have been PG tips or god forbid Lipton….

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
10 weeks ago

Lincoln

Aloominum.

LvM

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By *hunky GentMan
10 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Aloominum.

LvM"

Leesure (Leisure)

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By *ragonbaitCouple
10 weeks ago

Reading and Aberdare

Nukelar

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
10 weeks ago

southampton

Call them Far Right.

Was that the answer?

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Alain Rolland (RWC 2011)

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By *cLovin2Man
10 weeks ago

Reading

"Offer sommeone a brew and then give them Tetley

I'd rather drink dishwater

You deserve to be banned for mentioning tetley, worse still would have been PG tips or god forbid Lipton….

Oi don't knock Pg tips, it's what puts the T into English.

I can't stand that poncey twinings crap.

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By *8on33Man
10 weeks ago

winfrith

Take your foot out of the custard bowl NOW.

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By *hunky GentMan
10 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Call them a POM.

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By *ongAndThick123Man
10 weeks ago

Leeds

Give them a beer with ice

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By *rispyDuckMan
10 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Insult the local football team 😳

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
10 weeks ago

Stoke

"Put the milk in first when making a cuppa."

Noooo.... Milk in first, It's the only way to make tea 🤷‍♂️

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Jump the bus queue lol

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By *hunky GentMan
10 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Fart really loudly.

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

Fart loudly on a train

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Give them a beer with ice "

Give them ice-cold American beer, which is basically near-frozen cat piss

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

Tell them America bailed them out in WW2

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Cook bacon I'm the microwave

Give them American “bacon”

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Push in front of them in a queue."

And then fart loudly

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Asking if I'm English when clearly I've got a strong welsh accent "

Sorry to hear that

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Suggest that Henderson's Relish is the same as Worcestershire sauce! (maybe that's more how to insult someone from Sheffield).

Mispronounce our towns, cities and county names, such as Worcestershire, Gloucestershire, Birmingham, Bicester, Edinburgh, Marleybone, Leicester..."

Ah yes, edin-burrow.

And names, like St John, or Menzies, or macfadzeon

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By *cLovin2Man
10 weeks ago

Reading

Tell them brown sauce tastes like shit

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Tell them brown sauce tastes like shit"

… and so does the warm beer

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Start a debate on whether jam goes before cream on scones.

(It's obviously jam...)

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Start a debate on whether jam goes before cream on scones.

(It's obviously jam...)

Yes, jam first.

But you skipped a step … start a debate on how scone is pronounced first.

And if in doubt, fart loudly

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By *ooBulMan
10 weeks ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

An American having a fully made cup of tea that they drink with a tea bag hanging out of a mug....

Why didn't you take a big dump in the mug 1st as well to add insult to injury?

China teapot, china cup & saucer, proper sugar bowl. A China mug as an alternative. Either tea leaves or teabags (string-less.) Milk or cream or UHT or Condensed milk as an option. Highland short bread or Niece biscuits on a side plate.

If yer pushin' the boat out perhaps chocolate fingers or a French Fancy

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

"An American having a fully made cup of tea that they drink with a tea bag hanging out of a mug....

Why didn't you take a big dump in the mug 1st as well to add insult to injury?

If yer pushin' the boat out perhaps chocolate fingers or a French Fancy

I once saw an American in a hotel demanding cream for his tea, as the afternoon tea was billed as “cream tea”. The poor waitress tried explaining that you don’t actually pour cream in your tea, but he insisted, loudly shouting about how much he had paid, so she gave him a jug of cream, he poured it into the tea, announced that it was shit and that Cream Teas were a stupid idea.

A bit like playing chess with a pigeon. The pigeon will knock a few pieces over, shit on the board, and then strut around as if he has won.

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By *immyinreadingMan
10 weeks ago

henley on thames

Refer to football as soccer

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By *usman 199 OP Man
10 weeks ago

Stockport

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By *parkle1974Woman
10 weeks ago

Leeds

Just open your mouth and say whatever....someone will always take offence

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
10 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"Refer to football as soccer "

This really does fucking annoy me tbf

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By *aughtynottsCouple
10 weeks ago

Outside Nottingham

Having no manners: when you hold a door open etc

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

Starting a sentence off with “I’m not being funny, but….”

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By (user no longer on site)
10 weeks ago

"Queue jump. 😂😂"

You'd say that, but many nationals people have started to do exactly that, I've noticed over the last 10 years.

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