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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Some advice.....

I have gone out a few times with a guy... We get on like a house on fire and all that but going with the flow and not rushing or anything...

I am just really after a bit of other peoples views I guess... Basically he is still pretty much best friends with his ex who he has a son with. I am handling it in a non jealous and judgemental way. I mean I have nothing to be jealous about...

I guess has anyone been in this situation and how was it handled?

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By *asey369Woman
over a year ago

London

It would depend for me on other factors, such as how long him and the ex have been apart. I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who might not be over or go back to his ex.

On the plus side the fact that he remains good friends with the mother of his child shows maturity and decency in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a part of his life that happened before you met and one you have no control over!

If he's being a good dad - surely thats a positive?

And being friends with an ex in that situation will be way more stable than two people at eachothers throats and using the child as ammunition against eachother.

Glad you're being sensible and taking it slow - and hope things carry on in a good way hun, you deserve it!

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I forgot to add that he has been single a year... . Of course I am taking it slowly... I am not sure I want to hang up my single status just yet but its nice to feel slightly wanted...

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I am still good friends with my ex and we don't even have kids! We even had xmas dinner together last year, as we were both at loose ends, we have been ex's for over 7 years and it tends to be new girlfriends of his that are jealous! Yes he tells me if he is looking for advise, I just don't understand why people can't get their head round us still being friends

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814


"I forgot to add that he has been single a year... . Of course I am taking it slowly... I am not sure I want to hang up my single status just yet but its nice to feel slightly wanted... "

Good luck with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I still speak to my ex as I to have a young child and we are both adult about it. Much as we dislike one another we remain civil and never argue or disagree in front of him. It's not his fault we don't like each other and try to both bring him up as normal as possible in to be honest difficult circumstances at times. An ex g/f couldnt handle this and basically asked me to choose......I never saw her again (as if I'd give up my son)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a reason why I hate people claiming an ex is an ex for a reason..when that reason might be something negative.

I'll continue having friendships with ex's regardless of if I start seeing someone

people like to make awkward dramas should grow up and realize they got close to certain people for a reason

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

I think as long as they are truly over then there shouldn't be a problem.

It is when one is habouring thoughts of getting back together that potentialy could be problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im friends with some of my ex's and my lil uns dad...me him and his wife are good friends its how it should be no kids suffer then.

If its been a year i wouldn't worry about anything just be glad he is being a good dad and take things easy hope all works out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not been in quite that situation before, but agree with everyone else so far, if theres a child involved, that's really an unbreakable link (and you don't really want to be with anyone who can just drop a link like that anyway), but I don't see why ex's cant be friends - although it rarely ever happened in my case because we just end up having separate lives, and we just drifted off, rather than any kind of animosity - the relationship didn't work, but that didn't mean I couldn't stand the sight of them

good call taking it slow too - you'll get a good feel of how the relationship's going too..

keep rockin'!

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Im friends with some of my ex's and my lil uns dad...me him and his wife are good friends its how it should be no kids suffer then.

If its been a year i wouldn't worry about anything just be glad he is being a good dad and take things easy hope all works out x"

Aww thanks its early doors so just having fun...

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I think it's good that they can be good friends for the sake of the child. My ex is a complete prat despite me trying to keep things civil as its only my daughter he hurts!!

Go for it Hun and just accept that he's a good dad and good luck with it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I forgot to add that he has been single a year... . Of course I am taking it slowly... I am not sure I want to hang up my single status just yet but its nice to feel slightly wanted... "

Does he know you swing

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Steel her photos from Facebook, print them and then cut all the eyes out.

Use a red marker pen to simulate blood pouring from the eye sockets.

Arrange the photos on a suitably visible wall.

Create some graffiti art containing phrases such as “Die Bitch Die” and “Kill the Whore”.

Print of the satellite view of her home from Google map and add this to the display along with some surveillance photos of him arriving and leaving her home (when he picks up the kid).

Invite him over at the weekend and act like there is nothing on the wall. He’ll see you are able to deal with the situation in a mature and accepting manner, without you needing to mention the subject.

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"Steel her photos from Facebook, print them and then cut all the eyes out.

Use a red marker pen to simulate blood pouring from the eye sockets.

Arrange the photos on a suitably visible wall.

Create some graffiti art containing phrases such as “Die Bitch Die” and “Kill the Whore”.

Print of the satellite view of her home from Google map and add this to the display along with some surveillance photos of him arriving and leaving her home (when he picks up the kid).

Invite him over at the weekend and act like there is nothing on the wall. He’ll see you are able to deal with the situation in a mature and accepting manner, without you needing to mention the subject.

"

Only you polo.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex is my best friend and he's still my first port of call when things go tits up. After 4 years though there's no chance of us getting it together again...he's more like a brother figure in my life.

Its good for the kids, though they hate the fact that we're still a united front and don't play their wee games of playing one off against the other

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"I forgot to add that he has been single a year... . Of course I am taking it slowly... I am not sure I want to hang up my single status just yet but its nice to feel slightly wanted...

Does he know you swing "

No not got quite to the settling down I am only seeing him stage... Been on a few dates...

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I get on well with my ex - he is after all the father of our children and we have always worked together on issues relating to the kids.

I think Ruggers put it very succinctly - if he is "over" the ex (after all there was a reason they split in the first place) then that is fine. Thing is you have no control over matters and I guess that is a bit unnerving.

I d play it one day at a time and hard as it may me, try and give him that space. Best of luck xx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When me my ex husband who i was friends with because of our son met his future wife he introduced me to her as she was going to be in my sons life and we became really good friends, me and her doing stuff with all the kids together. it was great, the kids took it in their stride and much better than all being at logger heads or causing trouble all the while.

I think its great hes so close to his ex, great for their child

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

its a good sign that he can still get on with his ex and will help the child enormously .. we both get on with partners ex with whom he has 2 children and it makes for a much better environment for all concerned .. wish you all the best for the future

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By *isscheekychops OP   Woman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon


"When me my ex husband who i was friends with because of our son met his future wife he introduced me to her as she was going to be in my sons life and we became really good friends, me and her doing stuff with all the kids together. it was great, the kids took it in their stride and much better than all being at logger heads or causing trouble all the while.

I think its great hes so close to his ex, great for their child"

I could not agree more... I see everyday the damage when relationships fail and they are at logger heads and playing one againest the other...

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By *eaverfeverCouple
over a year ago

nr Manchester


"Steel her photos from Facebook, print them and then cut all the eyes out.

Use a red marker pen to simulate blood pouring from the eye sockets.

Arrange the photos on a suitably visible wall.

Create some graffiti art containing phrases such as “Die Bitch Die” and “Kill the Whore”.

Print of the satellite view of her home from Google map and add this to the display along with some surveillance photos of him arriving and leaving her home (when he picks up the kid).

.

Invite him over at the weekend and act like there is nothing on the wall. He’ll see you are able to deal with the situation in a mature and accepting manner, without you needing to mention the subject.

"

Pmsl. Cracking!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Steel her photos from Facebook, print them and then cut all the eyes out.

Use a red marker pen to simulate blood pouring from the eye sockets.

Arrange the photos on a suitably visible wall.

Create some graffiti art containing phrases such as “Die Bitch Die” and “Kill the Whore”.

Print of the satellite view of her home from Google map and add this to the display along with some surveillance photos of him arriving and leaving her home (when he picks up the kid).

Invite him over at the weekend and act like there is nothing on the wall. He’ll see you are able to deal with the situation in a mature and accepting manner, without you needing to mention the subject.

"

This sounds way too planned!!

Tell me you didn't!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"

I think Ruggers put it very succinctly - if he is "over" the ex

xx"

Or she is over him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be more worried about the person who constantly rants about how bad their ex is. They're not over them and haven't moved on! I'm very good friends with my ex and we speak to each other about the kids a couple of times a week as we share custody. She's their mother and I still care very deeply for her, however we could never get back together as we were both miserable together! (And she's remarried). Hatred of an ex is a wasted emotion.

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