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Best and worst surprise

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

What’s the best and/or worst surprise you have during sex?

For me the best is was during a BJ having my balls sucked and she used her teeth a little as they popped out of her mouth.

It hurt a little but it felt good.

Worst was when I tried being a bit subby and foolishly didn’t set boundaries.

Blindfolded and restrained she unexpectedly stuck a small vibrator up my bum!!

OUCH!!! I am a one way traffic fella in that area 100% after that.

So let’s hear your best and worst dear Forumites

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus

I think the best was the first time I was introduced to being rimmed, legs over her shoulders receiving head only to think oh where she goingohhhhhhhhhh damn that’s nice

Worst

Snapping of the ol banjo string

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By *andyCaneCuntWoman
17 weeks ago

Not the North West...


"What’s the best and/or worst surprise you have during sex?

For me the best is was during a BJ having my balls sucked and she used her teeth a little as they popped out of her mouth.

It hurt a little but it felt good.

Worst was when I tried being a bit subby and foolishly didn’t set boundaries.

Blindfolded and restrained she unexpectedly stuck a small vibrator up my bum!!

OUCH!!! I am a one way traffic fella in that area 100% after that.

So let’s hear your best and worst dear Forumites "

Did she pop her teeth back in?

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I think the best was the first time I was introduced to being rimmed, legs over her shoulders receiving head only to think oh where she goingohhhhhhhhhh damn that’s nice

Worst

Snapping of the ol banjo string "

You’re a bold one General Kenobi, I have never tried rimming but do like that area to be “stroked during a oily massage.

I imagine it’s a similar feeling.

Double ouch with that one, makes me feel i got off lightly with the vibrator!!

Hope it’s healed up and never happened again 🤞

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"What’s the best and/or worst surprise you have during sex?

For me the best is was during a BJ having my balls sucked and she used her teeth a little as they popped out of her mouth.

It hurt a little but it felt good.

Worst was when I tried being a bit subby and foolishly didn’t set boundaries.

Blindfolded and restrained she unexpectedly stuck a small vibrator up my bum!!

OUCH!!! I am a one way traffic fella in that area 100% after that.

So let’s hear your best and worst dear Forumites

Did she pop her teeth back in?"

Not this time…..i love a good Gum Job 😂

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By *agatoXXXMan
17 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

Best and worst were the same time!

FWB wanted to use a multi stimulator thing, which was a cock ring, with bullet vibrator, and a dildo, so she could get DP. After we got everything position (yes, it was awkward!) I had just started the jiggy bit, when she whacked the vibe up full. 😵‍💫 The unexpected vibrations "tickled" me, and I dissolved into hysterical laughter... I was the only one laughing, and she went in a mood. End of session.🙄

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus


"I think the best was the first time I was introduced to being rimmed, legs over her shoulders receiving head only to think oh where she goingohhhhhhhhhh damn that’s nice

Worst

Snapping of the ol banjo string

You’re a bold one General Kenobi, I have never tried rimming but do like that area to be “stroked during a oily massage.

I imagine it’s a similar feeling.

Double ouch with that one, makes me feel i got off lightly with the vibrator!!

Hope it’s healed up and never happened again 🤞"

It has healed up grand thank you and as for the rimming id have that again any time

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By *andyCaneCuntWoman
17 weeks ago

Not the North West...

I don't have a best, they were all equally bland.

Worst, with my ex with my head down there and he tells me to do xxxxxx thing I did last week. I had never done such a thing and this is when I realised he was talking about someone else.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best and worst were the same time!

FWB wanted to use a multi stimulator thing, which was a cock ring, with bullet vibrator, and a dildo, so she could get DP. After we got everything position (yes, it was awkward!) I had just started the jiggy bit, when she whacked the vibe up full. 😵‍💫 The unexpected vibrations "tickled" me, and I dissolved into hysterical laughter... I was the only one laughing, and she went in a mood. End of session.🙄"

My God in heaven that would make a fantastic X rated comedy scene!!

It sounds like one of those experiences you look back on and laugh although it was probably cringe at the time

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By *ools and the brainCouple
17 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Your mum and your mum.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I think the best was the first time I was introduced to being rimmed, legs over her shoulders receiving head only to think oh where she goingohhhhhhhhhh damn that’s nice

Worst

Snapping of the ol banjo string

You’re a bold one General Kenobi, I have never tried rimming but do like that area to be “stroked during a oily massage.

I imagine it’s a similar feeling.

Double ouch with that one, makes me feel i got off lightly with the vibrator!!

Hope it’s healed up and never happened again 🤞

It has healed up grand thank you and as for the rimming id have that again any time "

Glad to hear that, you can’t have your lightsaber out of action. 😉

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By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
17 weeks ago

Birmingham

Having some outdoor fun and she says I need a wee so of she goes there and the and then we continue surprise wee 🤣

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"I don't have a best, they were all equally bland.

Worst, with my ex with my head down there and he tells me to do xxxxxx thing I did last week. I had never done such a thing and this is when I realised he was talking about someone else.

"

Sorry to hear that Raven, that sounds like an awful experience.

I would send hugs but I will send rum instead 😊

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Your mum and your mum.

"

Fair point, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree 😂

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Having some outdoor fun and she says I need a wee so of she goes there and the and then we continue surprise wee 🤣"

I hope she brought some wet wipes at the very least 😂

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By *ell GwynnWoman
17 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

Best surprise - the first time someone called me good girl in bed. I was convinced I'd hate it, never asked for it, and didn't see it coming.

Worst surprise - I'd rather not say tbh.

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By *urnedoutniceagainMan
17 weeks ago

louth

Best has to be a sunrise threesome with a Fwb and her friend she said she don’t tell me in case I backed out as if!!! Worst was a meet form here who started crying after sex I though she was having some kind of breakdown or worse still might call the Police but eventually said it was because she hadn’t had sex for over 2 years and forgot how good it was!

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By *adbod2godbodMan
17 weeks ago

Manchester

You've got the best cock out of all your family.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best surprise - the first time someone called me good girl in bed. I was convinced I'd hate it, never asked for it, and didn't see it coming.

Worst surprise - I'd rather not say tbh."

A simple but sounds like a very pleasant surprise

Not for public consumption i can understand that

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best has to be a sunrise threesome with a Fwb and her friend she said she don’t tell me in case I backed out as if!!! Worst was a meet form here who started crying after sex I though she was having some kind of breakdown or worse still might call the Police but eventually said it was because she hadn’t had sex for over 2 years and forgot how good it was!"

Well that was a compliment, not the usual sort but i would take it

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"You've got the best cock out of all your family."

I am lost for words with this one 😳😳

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By *usty kayWoman
17 weeks ago

Burnham


"I don't have a best, they were all equally bland.

Worst, with my ex with my head down there and he tells me to do xxxxxx thing I did last week. I had never done such a thing and this is when I realised he was talking about someone else.

"

Holy crap! Sorry Raven, that must have been horrendous

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?"

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

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By *usty kayWoman
17 weeks ago

Burnham

Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise "

It looked like a murder scene

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol"

Awww that’s so sweet 🥰

I am surprised that hasn’t been used in a Romantic movie 😁

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene "

You didn’t kill her for doing it, did you? 😳

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene "

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

You didn’t kill her for doing it, did you? 😳"

What are you? My solicitor?

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again "

I thought it was like chicken pox. It only happens once.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again "

There was blood???

Never had this injury before and i hope i never do!!

I am surprised it didn’t put you off doing cowgirl again.

I am assuming that is how it happened

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By *andyCaneCuntWoman
17 weeks ago

Not the North West...


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again "

Ha I did this to a guy once in his parents new caravan at the great yorkshire show. Funnily enough his parents never liked me.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

You didn’t kill her for doing it, did you? 😳

What are you? My solicitor?"

Better than being your prosecutor 😂

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By *heGateKeeperMan
17 weeks ago

Stratford


"Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol"

That’s actually hilarious

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

I thought it was like chicken pox. It only happens once."

It’s happened more than once??

You poor man, fingers crossed it doesn’t happen again 🤞

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

You didn’t kill her for doing it, did you? 😳

What are you? My solicitor?

Better than being your prosecutor 😂"

No comment.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 29/08/24 16:18:59]

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By *nowman1300Man
17 weeks ago

manchester


"What’s the best and/or worst surprise you have during sex?

For me the best is was during a BJ having my balls sucked and she used her teeth a little as they popped out of her mouth.

It hurt a little but it felt good.

Worst was when I tried being a bit subby and foolishly didn’t set boundaries.

Blindfolded and restrained she unexpectedly stuck a small vibrator up my bum!!

OUCH!!! I am a one way traffic fella in that area 100% after that.

So let’s hear your best and worst dear Forumites

Did she pop her teeth back in?"

They were still in the glass

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

Ha I did this to a guy once in his parents new caravan at the great yorkshire show. Funnily enough his parents never liked me.

"

I get the feeling you’re proud of this.

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

There was blood???

Never had this injury before and i hope i never do!!

I am surprised it didn’t put you off doing cowgirl again.

I am assuming that is how it happened"

Like a fountain till it went soft again 😂 looking back I’m glad I can laugh it off now

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
17 weeks ago

Leeds

Best - waking up with my cell mates cock in my mouth.

Worst - the 15 other guys waiting at the door.

The mr

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By *andyCaneCuntWoman
17 weeks ago

Not the North West...


"Best - waking up with my cell mates cock in my mouth.

Worst - the 15 other guys waiting at the door.

The mr "

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

You didn’t kill her for doing it, did you? 😳

What are you? My solicitor?

Better than being your prosecutor 😂

No comment."

😂😂

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

Ha I did this to a guy once in his parents new caravan at the great yorkshire show. Funnily enough his parents never liked me.

I get the feeling you’re proud of this."

She probably has the day marked in her calendar and celebrates with rum every year 😂😂

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
17 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

Ha I did this to a guy once in his parents new caravan at the great yorkshire show. Funnily enough his parents never liked me.

I get the feeling you’re proud of this.

She probably has the day marked in her calendar and celebrates with rum every year 😂😂"

She probably keeps a bit of his banjo string in a pickle jar.

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

There was blood???

Never had this injury before and i hope i never do!!

I am surprised it didn’t put you off doing cowgirl again.

I am assuming that is how it happened

Like a fountain till it went soft again 😂 looking back I’m glad I can laugh it off now "

Jesus!!!

I think i would be traumatised for life!!

You and Geordie Jeans are real troopers 💪

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best - waking up with my cell mates cock in my mouth.

Worst - the 15 other guys waiting at the door.

The mr "

Were you in Shawshank prison? 😂😂

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By *rNightMan
17 weeks ago

Coventry

Worst - an ex who is just started dating gave me a handjob that was, let’s say was a tight grip with jack hammer motion. I was hanging on for dear life and yep she eventually tore the string. I felt sore but didn’t notice the blood till the next morning.

Best - Same girl was a squirter, something I’d never experienced before, she was holding back having sex because she couldn’t control it. Then once we finally had sex and it happened, she was horrified, until she saw how much I liked it. We were like rabbits after that, thank god I lived alone and did my own washing

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr "

I am so confused do you mean literally or metaphorically? 🤔

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By *usty kayWoman
17 weeks ago

Burnham


"Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol

That’s actually hilarious "

We do laugh about it now. Luckily he felt the same! Completely changed the moment though 😆

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By *eneralKenobiMan
17 weeks ago

North Angus


"Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr "

Oh this too! think I’d put it out my mind

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Is snapping my banjo classed as a surprise?

Yep General Kenobi had the same experience and it’s definitely classed as an unpleasant surprise

It looked like a murder scene

It does look like that thankfully the panic of the situation reduced my hard on quickly and I managed to contain the bleeding but I hope it never happens again

Ha I did this to a guy once in his parents new caravan at the great yorkshire show. Funnily enough his parents never liked me.

I get the feeling you’re proud of this.

She probably has the day marked in her calendar and celebrates with rum every year 😂😂

She probably keeps a bit of his banjo string in a pickle jar."

It wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest 😂

Just awaiting confirmation from the lady herself 🤔

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol

That’s actually hilarious

We do laugh about it now. Luckily he felt the same! Completely changed the moment though 😆 "

Well I think it’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard ❤️

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr

Oh this too! think I’d put it out my mind "

Do people have bowel issues? 😳

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Worst crabs

Best walking into the wrong room on the morning after a night out looking for a mate.

It wasn't my mate in the bed.

A blonde hot girl I knew with tits out who said she needed a hug

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By *usty kayWoman
17 weeks ago

Burnham


"Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol

That’s actually hilarious

We do laugh about it now. Luckily he felt the same! Completely changed the moment though 😆

Well I think it’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard ❤️"

Just as well it worked out 😆

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Worst crabs

Best walking into the wrong room on the morning after a night out looking for a mate.

It wasn't my mate in the bed.

A blonde hot girl I knew with tits out who said she needed a hug "

Crabs!!

I feel itchy just thinking about it…I have dodged that one somehow

Your best was definitely a pleasant surprise 😄

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Turned out for the best but was devastated at the time.

Early in my relationship with now husband I had been desperately holding back the 'I love you' as really needed him to say it first.

Having sex and he surprised me by pushing his finger into my bum and I lost all my inhibitions and blurted it out.

Not the way I wanted that romantic moment to happen but has summed up so much of our relationship lol

That’s actually hilarious

We do laugh about it now. Luckily he felt the same! Completely changed the moment though 😆

Well I think it’s one of the most romantic things I’ve ever heard ❤️

Just as well it worked out 😆 "

I wonder if i should try it sometime and if it works have a ring ready? 😉😁

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
17 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry


"Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr

Oh this too! think I’d put it out my mind

Do people have bowel issues? 😳"

Only when they've not douched 🤣🤣

Mr

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
17 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry


"Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr

I am so confused do you mean literally or metaphorically? 🤔 "

I've never been metaphorically shit on...🤣🤣

Mr

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By *wiss Army Knife OP   Man
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…


"Best being shit on worst being shit on 💩💩💩💩💩💩

Mr

I am so confused do you mean literally or metaphorically? 🤔

I've never been metaphorically shit on...🤣🤣

Mr"

Strange I have been metaphorically but never physically!!

What makes my worst a little worse was I hadn’t douched either!!

I wasn’t expecting a surprise delivery bit thankfully no deposits were left behind but i washed the thing anyway.

I am a little anal when it comes to cleanliness 😂

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