FabSwingers.com forum: How do you handle change

By *rHotNotts OP Man
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Relationships, jobs, house moves ?

Do you sustain habits and schedules well through changes, like health eating , hobbies, workouts?

I was just watching dark matter the guys on trial for killing his lover and he’s doing these amazing daily swim workouts.

I’m like , someone shouts at me at work and my training is fucked for 3 months

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
23 weeks ago

Southampton

I can't handle change there's something in my brain that hates change.

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By *ugehandsMan
23 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

I'm pretty horizontal when it comes to change and will give anything a go and never get uptight about a things.

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By *afkaMan
23 weeks ago

Nottingham (ish)

I've found thst it's good to have something to ground yourself with-

Eating well, and sticking to a schedule for exercise and sleep is all that's keeping me going through the chaos.

When everything else is uncertain and in turmoil, adhering to a simple routine gives you a solid base, something familiar to hold fast.

Once you let go of that it's all to easy to fall into the pit of despair.

So for me, it's keeping on top of the little things like making the bed properly every morning and putting away the dishes every night, folding the towels. If I can manage to keep on top of the little things, keep the detail in focus, then the big, important, massive issues become so much easier to manage.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
23 weeks ago

Trowbridge

I hate change, I’ve been in a routine for 7 years, I’m leaving my business & moving to Wiltshire, I know the 1st month I’ll be regretting the process before I realise I’m much better off after the move & new start

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By *rHotNotts OP Man
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I've found thst it's good to have something to ground yourself with-

Eating well, and sticking to a schedule for exercise and sleep is all that's keeping me going through the chaos.

When everything else is uncertain and in turmoil, adhering to a simple routine gives you a solid base, something familiar to hold fast.

Once you let go of that it's all to easy to fall into the pit of despair.

I just find that so hard to do though

Change in fine with, I’v moved country several times, relocated around the uk , changed jobs many times, started businesses, lots of relationships etc but each change I find my training , eating and hobbies shut down and take at least 1-2 months to re-establish.

I find it hard to train and prepare food unless everything else in life is settled. Any tips ?

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
23 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

I manage it pretty well on the whole.

Learning about stoic philosophy and

understanding what I can change and what I can't, helped me enormously.

I've tipped my life upside down on a couple of occasions and come out ok.

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By *rHotNotts OP Man
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I hate change, I’ve been in a routine for 7 years, I’m leaving my business & moving to Wiltshire, I know the 1st month I’ll be regretting the process before I realise I’m much better off after the move & new start"

I know that feeling very very well. I moved to Cambridge once, single bed in an air bnb room , then I moved to Dubai taking a one-way flight, two suitcases and staying in temporary hotel accommodation. Both times I had no friends locally, I felt so lonely and cried a little , I missed my kids and friends so much but that feeling fades so quickly and then you realise the reason we trust our intuition and make very smart strategic decisions like this, and why people who can’t often seem to be stuck at a certain level of life/happiness

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By *rHotNotts OP Man
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I manage it pretty well on the whole.

Learning about stoic philosophy and

understanding what I can change and what I can't, helped me enormously.

I've tipped my life upside down on a couple of occasions and come out ok. "

That philosophy is so interesting. It’s the polar opposite of me in some ways and maybe explains some things. Passion is so important to me, logic and self control are important too but not my drivers. Wisdom and living a good life are not mutually exclusive to passion , pain & suffering - & if you live a courageous life you will know pain and suffering for sure.

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By *tephanjMan
23 weeks ago

Kettering

As I have got older I hate change, there is a lot of change going on with my job and it's causing me a lot of stress

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By *avexxMan
23 weeks ago

cheshire

i think as you get older like myself you dont like change,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I like change as I get bored easy.

My eating habits are terrible all the time but I work out so much better when I'm annoyed and pissed off. I find when the rest of my life is all over the place the one thing I can control is my body and i go to the extreme with working out.

When things are more calm I stop, I need a new job or something.

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By *rHotNotts OP Man
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I can't handle change there's something in my brain that hates change.

Does that bother you at all or are you happy with how things have turned out and the main decisions you made? (even the decisions to do nothing/stay/not change are decisions)

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By *rHotNotts OP Man
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I like change as I get bored easy.

When things are more calm I stop, I need a new job or something. "

I’m similar love change and get bored easy but wish I could smash the gym still when my life is chaotic & changing.

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By *Silver-Man
23 weeks ago

Mold

"I've found thst it's good to have something to ground yourself with-

Eating well, and sticking to a schedule for exercise and sleep is all that's keeping me going through the chaos.

When everything else is uncertain and in turmoil, adhering to a simple routine gives you a solid base, something familiar to hold fast.

Once you let go of that it's all to easy to fall into the pit of despair.

I just find that so hard to do though

I find it hard to train and prepare food unless everything else in life is settled. Any tips ? "

1-2 months to re-establish is pretty good in my book.

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By *ermite12ukMan
23 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

[Removed by poster at 24/08/24 08:26:05]

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
23 weeks ago

somewhere

I find change very difficult, I like routine. When I started my job I was told there was a manager on long term sick, I got the job and everyone was saying how shit she was at the job, of course her return to work was coming up and I worried for weeks about it, she came back and everyone was right and the routine I had created for myself went out the window and I ended up with my anxiety surfacing again and panic attacks returning, I had been in therapy prior to starting my job and kept it at bay. Ended up having a welfare meeting just because of this manager, she's still there 6 months on (everyone has complained about her, she's completely useless at her job but can't be sacked for some reason) and I've learnt to cope with her now but I still get days 26 weeks later, not wanting to go in, dreading what my shift is going to be like because I have to do my job and hers (she does fuck all on reception on a morning shift that everyone else manages to do, so I have to do everything she hasn't and can be difficult when I have a line of people and payment hasn't been taken that shouldn't have been, departs haven't been done that should have been and I'm trying to check someone in to a room that the previous guest had been in 😩. So yeah, work wise, I don't cope well.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I'm habitual in nature. Can cope with change but like the comfort of the routine.

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By *till gameMan
23 weeks ago

Oldham

For as long as I can remember I’ve always gone with the flow , big believer in fate, what will be will be.

I’ve changed jobs not fully thinking it through, but it’s felt right .

Keep stress to a minimum, sleep when you can , eat when you feel like it , don’t get stuck in rut 👍

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By *afkaMan
23 weeks ago

Nottingham (ish)

[Change I'm fine with] but each change I find my training , eating and hobbies shut down and take at least 1-2 months to re-establish.

I find it hard to train and prepare food unless everything else in life is settled. Any tips ? "

When you're busy dealing with the big change it IS hard to look after yourself so maybe try doing "just one thing"

When you can't be arsed to do that full body workout today- don't, Just do ten push ups.

When you can't be arsed to go for a run- don't, jog on the spot for 60 seconds.

When you can't be arsed to prepare a healthy meal, just eat an apple.

Do a little thing, a small step in the direction of where you want to go and those little steps will add up and get you there before you realise it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

Depends entirely on what the change is. We moved house last year - that was great because I needed it to happen. It improved my life substantially. We're not that far (6 miles) from our old area but we had no social life anyway so it really doesn't matter that we don't know anyone.

However, you kinda read my mind, I was contemplating putting up a similar thread. I'm not coping well with changes around my gym. I worked with the same PT for 5yrs, we are good friends and he knows my needs well. My sessions were an escape from reality and one hour a week when I could chill out, smash some weights and not be Mum, professional me, etc. Now he has left to pursue a new career and a different PT took over, at his recommendation. She is very nice, pleasant but it's just not the same at all. And now the gym was refurbished and for me, it's shite. The new flooring is hard to push on. The weights area has too little space between machines/benches for my chair but many benches are now screwed to the floor. They've put in a load of "booty shaping" machines which for me are pointless. They've changed the surface on the sled pull track and I just can't use it because it doesn't work with my wheels anymore and they've got it bookended by a wall and a pillar so there's not enough room to turn around at the ends. They've taken out the boxing area completely. And put up the fee by £2 a month. And the refurbishment people damaged the disability access lift so I have to go in the goods lift and have security get me in/out. Yesterday was the first time in 5yrs where I didn't enjoy the gym at all.

I can't just change gyms. Many are inaccessible. Ones I tried to join 5+ years ago won't allow disabled clients under health and safety excuses. I'm really sad about these changes. I came home yesterday and cried like a great big numpty

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
23 weeks ago

East Sussex

It depends what the change is.

I'm pretty good at accepting any that's inevitable and coping by adapting if possible and putting up with things if not. That doesn't mean I'm happy or don't go through a period of adjustment where I have to alter how I do things. When my mum died for eg my routine changed drastically for a bit, then completely for the foreseeable future.

Our last move changed our habits completely for the better and that change was very easy to adjust to.

It took me a while to adjust to retirement at 57 and I spent quite a few days sitting in the garden doing next to nothing

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By *vaRose43Woman
23 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

When it’s unexpected change I go into crisis mode and it’s like I get this amazing ability to organise, plan and get everyone through it. Planned change… urgh I don’t handle that well.

No idea why I am the way I am

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By *olfandtazCouple
23 weeks ago

Bristol

For me it depends on the change itself.

My last relationship ended really badly, it nearly destroyed me in every way, I didn't handle it that well but I survived the healing process and here I am now.

Simple things I can process and deal with quite quickly, some things take more for me to process before I can handle it properly

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By *icketToRudeCouple
23 weeks ago

Wellingborough

Just the discussion makes me feel uncomfortable... unexpected change can throw me for the day and leave me questioning why something has changed but can pretty much leave me then unable to do much else for the day (mr)

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think as long as you keep the bedrock of you and your life, you can handle most things

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
23 weeks ago

Essex

I kinda like it. The inside of my head tends to be like a very loosely written (on the equivalent to the back of a fag packet) flow chart. Basic plan and offshoots that I’m more than happy to “wing it on”.

I struggle with an absolute curveball or surprise…. But if there’s something close to it on my “flowchart” of life I can wing it.

I can’t handle rigid plans though. Because if there’s no back up plan I’ll have a meltdown.

I don’t do any workouts…. My standard pace of life & constant motion is enough.

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By *ymClassDropoutMan
23 weeks ago

Berkshire

Hi OP.

As a rule of thumb if I feel the change is to my detriment and I can affect the outcome then I will try and do something about it rather than just accepting it.

If it’s a change I have zero control over then I won’t worry about it in the slightest.

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By *ornucopiaMan
23 weeks ago

Bexley

I don't readily seek change, mainly because I have always been bone idle.

Change won't affect my training regime because I I don't have one. Used to go swimming twice a week until covid came along and that enforced change and now don't feel like changing back again!

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By *ffervescentMan
23 weeks ago

winfrith

Its inevitable so I roll with it but some things are just becoming ridiculous.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
23 weeks ago

Leeds

I don't like change, I'm very into my routine, anything that deviates from that just throws me into stress mode.

Mrs

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By *acavityMan
23 weeks ago

Redditch

About to go through a big change at work.

I keep telling myself "six months from now, you will wonder what you were worrying about.

Stepping back, looking at the big picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Depends whether it’s good change or bad change

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By *bonybucksMan
23 weeks ago

High Wycombe

I do struggle with them, but most of the time, change is very beneficial.

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By *asuallyChilledMan
23 weeks ago

Drogheda

Unfortunately, three different neurodivergent conditions make it almost impossible for me to deal with change of any kind 😭

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By *ackformore100Man
23 weeks ago

Tin town

"Relationships, jobs, house moves ?

Do you sustain habits and schedules well through changes, like health eating , hobbies, workouts?

I was just watching dark matter the guys on trial for killing his lover and he’s doing these amazing daily swim workouts.

I’m like , someone shouts at me at work and my training is fucked for 3 months

I don't know many / any people who are early adopters and truly celebrate change. Personally I struggle with it more so as I get older. But eventually when I realise it's either better or no alternative I just crack on and do my best

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By *riar BelisseWoman
23 weeks ago

Delightful Bliss

I can roll with planned change, but flail when it's unplanned change. Being held back by others incompetence, really really messes with my head. Guess I need one hand on the wheel, to keep the routine running smoothly

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