FabSwingers.com forum: When you feel sad, you want to make others happy

By *ickleTheWonderSchlong OP Man
22 weeks ago

Ends

Is that true? Or do you just not have the energy for others when you feel the sad.

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By *yrdsisWoman
22 weeks ago

Gleam Street

Takes a lot to make me sad... I certainly don't want to pander to others when I do

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By *heGateKeeperMan
22 weeks ago

Stratford

This is true. But I want cuddles (and particular pics) to make me feel happy

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
22 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

I think when you have felt great sadness you are more empathetic to others going through it.

Not saying that you can’t be giving and happy, but some experiences you have to have had to fully grasp

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I put the others before myself, always have done .

Can deal with myself another time

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I can't deal with people. I am one of those that will just go quiet and not say anything for weeks/months.

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By *ookie46Woman
22 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

"This is true. But I want cuddles (and particular pics) to make me feel happy

I’ll send you some Arsenal shirt pics ( of the players of course)

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlong OP Man
22 weeks ago

Ends

"I can't deal with people. I am one of those that will just go quiet and not say anything for weeks/months. "

I hear this.

I deal with sadness by ghosting everyone. It’s really quite unhealthy

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By *ell GwynnWoman
22 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I'm a retreater when I'm struggling because I go into autistic shutdown and become mute. I'd love to be able to help others and make them happy whatever my mood, but the reality is that it's just not going to be possible sometimes.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
22 weeks ago

Stratford

"This is true. But I want cuddles (and particular pics) to make me feel happy

I’ll send you some Arsenal shirt pics ( of the players of course)

but I’ve actually seen pictures of you in an Arsenal shirt

And sadly in that ‘other’ shirt

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By *hilloutMan
22 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

This is a rare state for me. I compartmentalise it well. I'll be sad on my own but will mostly present as normal around others.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
22 weeks ago

little house on the praire

When my mental health is bad I shut myself away.

I'm always sad since my partner died but its a deep sadness that's always there but I try to live my life as normal as possible.

Being sad isn't the same as bad mental health for me it's an emotion I live with

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By *uskWandererMan
22 weeks ago

Ormskirk

Recently been hurt (emotionally) really badly. But despite wanting to just cry inside I push it down and have been doing what I can to ease their own pain instead.

Sure I let myself have a cry when in private, though when around them, despite what they did... I don't want to see them sad.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
22 weeks ago

North West

"This is a rare state for me. I compartmentalise it well. I'll be sad on my own but will mostly present as normal around others."

This is pretty much me. I'm a massive people pleaser anyway. I don't think that's healthy either, though.

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By *ir tootMan
22 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

I have a bad habit of bottling it up and trying to help others instead

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"I can't deal with people. I am one of those that will just go quiet and not say anything for weeks/months.

I hear this.

I deal with sadness by ghosting everyone. It’s really quite unhealthy"

I'm exactly like this too

I withdraw into myself and shut everyone out while I process my thoughts. There are so many adverts in the media, encouraging us to talk to someone when we feel like this. But reaching out to someone can actually be very difficult. Thankfully, I now have a couple of special people in my life who I'm slowly starting to trust and feel comfortable with when these 'lows' hit me. Sending

and hugs to everyone x

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By *obilebottomMan
22 weeks ago

All over

"I put the others before myself, always have done .

Can deal with myself another time "

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By *ookie46Woman
22 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I always make time for others even when not feeling great myself, I’ve always been like that

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By *ellinever70Woman
22 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I share my sadness cos misery loves company

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By *ittlebirdWoman
22 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Is that true? Or do you just not have the energy for others when you feel the sad. "

It’s always true of me. No matter how tired I am ♥️

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I find it tough to give others my energy when I'm sad. I'm pretty apparent with my emotions so can't switch it off to act like things are normal

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlong OP Man
22 weeks ago

Ends

"I share my sadness cos misery loves company "
🤣🤣🤣🤣

This might be my favourite of all your posts

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By *obilebottomMan
22 weeks ago

All over

Some people of course often have no choice but to prioritise others

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By *ingleGent45Man
22 weeks ago

Clacton

It makes me sad to not try and make people happy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

No when i feel sad i have to focus on coming out the other end - i have zero energy for anyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I think it could be interesting to look at the need/want/desire to make others happy, where that comes from. Is it caretaking or something like that?

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By *idssissyTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Birmingham

At times my sadness comes from trying to please others but I know I wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for others.

If I am sad I want to be alone but push myself to do things

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By *naswingdressWoman
22 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I tend to retreat.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
22 weeks ago

North West

"I think it could be interesting to look at the need/want/desire to make others happy, where that comes from. Is it caretaking or something like that? "

Childhood conditioning, in my case.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"I think it could be interesting to look at the need/want/desire to make others happy, where that comes from. Is it caretaking or something like that?

Childhood conditioning, in my case. "

I think for the most part, our patterns start in childhood. Doesn’t mean we can’t re write them though, if we want to.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
22 weeks ago

North West

"I think it could be interesting to look at the need/want/desire to make others happy, where that comes from. Is it caretaking or something like that?

Childhood conditioning, in my case.

I think for the most part, our patterns start in childhood. Doesn’t mean we can’t re write them though, if we want to. "

Yeah, I'm trying. Failing. But trying.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
22 weeks ago

chichester

Don’t have time to stay or be sad for long. It’s a frame of mind that can be adjusted with me i find

If I am sad I just quickly realign my logic and off we go , I would not pretend / hide just to deal with others. I like to keep my mind sanguine when around others

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By *a LunaWoman
22 weeks ago

South Wales

If I feel sad I like to be left alone so I can do my maudlin in peace and without bringing anyone else down with me.

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By *erfHerder74Man
22 weeks ago

Inverclyde

Just be nice to everyone

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By *opman121Man
22 weeks ago

stoke on trent

We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.

It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.

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By *aytime78Man
22 weeks ago

Aylesbury

group hugs everyone

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By *rHotNottsMan
22 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.

It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal. "

They ate not always valid. In fact emotions are well known to be inaccurate , exaggerated responses. The honeymoon period, road rage etc are examples of how emotions if not properly kept in check can cause all kinds of irrational behaviour .

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By *ed OpiumWoman
22 weeks ago

Never Never Land

i am a compartmentaliser - so if i feel hurt i shut it away, not always the healthy option - i am always ready to help others and forget my stuff .

Think i have become conditioned to thinking of others first and self care isnt a thing i always remember to do, there is always someone else to focus on.

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By *ad NannaWoman
22 weeks ago

East London

When I feel sad I visit family, or I cry while doing the washing up.

I tend to only feel sad about my mum being gone.

The Anniversary of her passing is coming up and for the first time I'm not maudlin.

I like to make people happy whatever emotion I'm feeling.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
22 weeks ago

chichester

"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.

It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.

Its interesting for me as a very en emotional driven person to see how emotions affect the majority of human beings ... I find it fascinating that people cant use logic to rationalise their thoughts and bring themselves into clarity easier

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By *aytime78Man
22 weeks ago

Aylesbury

I feel sad and lonley from time to time just go about rebuilding my life and stay posative one day I will meet my person hopefully and get that sparkle back ive so much to give

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By *ed OpiumWoman
22 weeks ago

Never Never Land

"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.

It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.

but shutting down every emotion, which seems to be the norm, isnt healthy either - children are not allowed to get bored ! yet how can they learn to be inventive and creative if they are not bored by something and go then to find something to do to elevate this.

Grief is another - your given a couple of days to grieve and expected to get on with life, embracing our emotions makes us who we are - we are human beings and emotions are part of that.

Understandably they can go a bit wonky and extreme thats when you need some support in dealing with them, but if you never experience them in the first place then how can you deal with them??

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.

It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.

Emotions are always, always valid.

If something like road rage comes up, it’s perfectly valid, and may be a symptom of something else, especially if emotions have been stifled or dismissed in the past.

What’s underneath that road rage, where’s it coming from …..

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"We all have problems from time to time why let it get u down life is too short as it is

Dismissing emotions (your own, or those of others) is not healthy.

It’s totally ok to feel sad or anything else, they are all valid emotions and avoiding them won’t help. We have to feel to heal.

Grief is another - your given a couple of days to grieve and expected to get on with life, embracing our emotions makes us who we are - we are human beings and emotions are part of that.

Understandably they can go a bit wonky and extreme thats when you need some support in dealing with them, but if you never experience them in the first place then how can you deal with them??"

💜

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
22 weeks ago

Reading

I hadn't noticed a connection but probably not. I tend to keep myself to myself.

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