FabSwingers.com forum: A self help thread for anxious people

By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

Those diagnosed with anxiety disorder, how do you manage your anxiety?

How do you talk yourself down from the persistent anxious thoughts?

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Do you want the short version or the novel? 🤔😅

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

"Do you want the short version or the novel? 🤔😅"

I want help, Swing. That’s literally all in want😅

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By *attaHatter84Man
16 weeks ago

towcester

I find the best way is to list the things going on in my mind,

a. It gets them out of your head and stops the spiral

B. I can start working on them

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By *olfandtazCouple
16 weeks ago

Bristol

Try a grounding technique

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can taste

1 thing you can smell... take a slow deep inhale and slowly let it out

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By *ools and the brainCouple
16 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Breathing, relaxing and distraction.

Failing that if I'm at home and alone I have a wank or at least try difficult when you feel like your throat is about to close up and you are shallow breathing,but wanking is just distraction it could be housework or singing a song, counting to a hundred then again in reverse.

But breathing is key and learning your triggers.

As a chronic over thinker my triggers are pretty much waking up and everything thereafter.

Avoid alcohol or drugs.

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Short term/ immediately:

as noted, grounding (particularly for dissociation)

Meditation - observe your body. Sit with it. Not your thoughts. Your thoughts are just chatter. Don't resist them, just don't focus on them. What is your little toe doing? I bet it isn't feeling that all encompassing anxiety. Is it hot, cold, wet, dry? Where are the limits of your anxiety? It feels universal but I bet that it doesn't extend beyond your torso. It's not going to consume you. It will pass

Give yourself the same compassion you'd give a friend

Do the thing, if there's a thing. It sucks, it may make you feel worse temporarily, but the longer you avoid the thing, the bigger and scarier it will become. Avoidance is counterproductive.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
16 weeks ago

North West

Alternate nostril breathing. It's a yoga thing and really helps with emotional regulation as it engages the parasympathetic nervous system and shuts down fight or flight.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
16 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"Alternate nostril breathing. It's a yoga thing and really helps with emotional regulation as it engages the parasympathetic nervous system and shuts down fight or flight. "
do you hold a finger on each nostril,I guess you have to?

Sounds interesting I'll look into it.

I usually do Belly breathing with my hand on my tummy.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
16 weeks ago

somewhere

"Try a grounding technique

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can taste

1 thing you can smell... take a slow deep inhale and slowly let it out "

This is exactly what my therapist taught me to do and it really does help (not that I can ever remember the order but I'm so busy trying to remember the order, I forget about being anxious 😂)

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Try a grounding technique

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can taste

1 thing you can smell... take a slow deep inhale and slowly let it out

This is exactly what my therapist taught me to do and it really does help (not that I can ever remember the order but I'm so busy trying to remember the order, I forget about being anxious 😂) "

When I dissociate I tend to resort to "stuff that's really real" until I get myself back. Having concrete numbers like this is helpful but it's more about not splitting myself off in the worst cases

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?"

Myself mostly

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly"

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety.

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety. "

OK. Don't get too stuck in your head, that can reinforce the anxiety.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
16 weeks ago

Hampshire

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety.

OK. Don't get too stuck in your head, that can reinforce the anxiety. "

This site isn't great for it.

It will certainly get you over thinking about stuff regular break's from the forum

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety.

OK. Don't get too stuck in your head, that can reinforce the anxiety.

This site isn't great for it.

It will certainly get you over thinking about stuff regular break's from the forum

When fab is a trigger I’m not one to hesitate going UNLOS.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
16 weeks ago

North West

"Alternate nostril breathing. It's a yoga thing and really helps with emotional regulation as it engages the parasympathetic nervous system and shuts down fight or flight. do you hold a finger on each nostril,I guess you have to?

Sounds interesting I'll look into it.

I usually do Belly breathing with my hand on my tummy."

Use your thumb and ring finger from one hand. Close one nostril with your ring finger. Breathe in through the open 'thumb' nostril. Close the nostril with your thumb and open the 'ring finger' nostril. Breathe out through that nostril and then breathe in again. Close the ring finger nostril, open the thumb one and exhale. Breathe in again... Keep going repeating that cycle.

Hope that makes sense but if not there's loads of information and guides on google.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
16 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Alternate nostril breathing. It's a yoga thing and really helps with emotional regulation as it engages the parasympathetic nervous system and shuts down fight or flight. "

I love alternate nostril breathing ❤️

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By *ansoffateMan
16 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I tend not to have persistent anxious thoughts that I get caught up in. I've done that to death and know where it goes. I've seen enough therapists heads drop and tears shed to know it's something I can't think my way out of.

It manifests emotionally and physically for me, knowing doesn't change that regrettably that's just how cPTSD works. I tend to dissociate to protect myself when I become emotional dysregulated. My body has just learnt that this is preferable to hyper-arousal.

I use the principles of the window of tolerance to recognise when this is approaching. I find fighting feelings to be a recipe for disaster. Grounding techniques, meditation, massage, walks in the woods, music, affection, talking to others. These things can all help.

Accepting they are temporal emotional states, reduces the distress. Even if that sometimes means I have to sit with it and that means I'm a chocolate teapot for a few days. If that's what I need, then that's what I need. The challenge is when I am not in a position to facilitate that need and have to power through.

Then emotional regulation techniques are more like sticking plasters that get piled on until I feel like I am held together by duck tape, glue and chewing gum.

Dark humour is my doorway out of the distress. Once my sense of humour goes, I know I am skating on thin ice.

That's when I know I have to sit with it and stop wishing it wasn't a part of me. It won't pass till I let myself feel it.

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By *olfandtazCouple
16 weeks ago

Bristol

"Try a grounding technique

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can taste

1 thing you can smell... take a slow deep inhale and slowly let it out

This is exactly what my therapist taught me to do and it really does help (not that I can ever remember the order but I'm so busy trying to remember the order, I forget about being anxious 😂)

When I dissociate I tend to resort to "stuff that's really real" until I get myself back. Having concrete numbers like this is helpful but it's more about not splitting myself off in the worst cases"

It's a really good starting template to work from, I can remember it but when I'm having a moment I do it in all sorts of ways, the only one which sticks with me is the smell one with cleansing breath.

As long as you have something that works for you then that's all that matters

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
16 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

The answer you don’t want - you can’t fix it. It’s part of you.

I don’t mean there aren’t many, many techniques and practices which will help in an immediate crisis, or even over longer term. Breathing, grounding, meditation, mindfulness, exercise, being outdoors, doing what you love, talking, laughing. Whatever you need to get through. One foot in front of the other.

But ultimately I think it’s something we have to accept, sit with, and know that it won’t always feel like this. It will pass. And it will return. And all you can do sometimes is hang on and keep going. It’s like trying to suppress any unwanted emotion - in the end it’s counterproductive.

You’re not alone. ❤️

Mrs TMN x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
16 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I tend not to have persistent anxious thoughts that I get caught up in. I've done that to death and know where it goes. I've seen enough therapists heads drop and tears shed to know it's something I can't think my way out of.

Then emotional regulation techniques are more like sticking plasters that get piled on until I feel like I am held together by duck tape, glue and chewing gum.

Dark humour is my doorway out of the distress. Once my sense of humour goes, I know I am skating on thin ice.

That's when I know I have to sit with it and stop wishing it wasn't a part of me. It won't pass till I let myself feel it. "

Hans ❤️ I feel this in my soul. I’m so sorry.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
16 weeks ago

Markfield

I sometimes do something that I know how to do without having to think about it but then think about it whilst doing it.

Like making a cup of coffee. ☕️ think about each step. Getting the vessel, the spoon, the water, the heating of the water, the coffee. Usually I go off into a thought process about something else like how do they transport the beans and are they already roasted before they ship them and which are heavier untreated or roasted and then I get on with making my coffee without thinking about making it and not thinking bad thoughts just happy thoughts about the other thing. Yeah. That’s what I do sometimes.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
16 weeks ago

Reading

Meds work for me.

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By *emptmeonceWoman
16 weeks ago

the Northern Hemisphere

Taking 5mins to enjoy some music, making your body move, get outside in nature, get engrossed in a book. Try things to find a way to centre yourself in the present.

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's also important to remember that your stuff isn't other people's stuff. I sometimes get caught up in other people's behaviours and how they prove my anxiety right.

It's one of those stupidly seductive mental illness stories that needs to be discarded

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

After 30 years of constant panic attacks and feeling like the biggest weirdo on the planet.

I finally went to get something really done about it, was then diagnosed as having PTSD.

Have since done CBT over the phone with the local mental health team. I then was referred to counselling for 9 months (this helped massively!!!) helped me to understand to acknowledge them as they are happening, almost greet them and wait until they pass, using grounding mainly and just letting them wash over me. It's not a case of stopping them, it's a natural response. I guess embracing them. The only bad one I had since was the day I finished counselling but I get that.

As a tip, I also found a quick phone call to the Samaritans helped, usually 5 mins or so, especially if you feel alone or can't tell anyone else.

Tell them you're having a panic attack and just talk to them about anything, I usually had a laugh with them for 5 minutes about it all and life) this helps with the early days, distraction. But my mistake was always always trying to escape them, run away.

For me, that was the wrong idea for 30 years.

Good luck all

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By *erfHerder74Man
16 weeks ago

Greenock

Become present in your moment

Breathe deeply feel the air enter you lings

Rub your fingers, hands, feel them touch

Look around by this I mean when you look at objects don’t think Book, tv, phone, window, tree etc I mean look but don’t think their name, respectsand accept them where they are, what they are

Still remember to breathe

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By *hrista BellendWoman
16 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Endorphins from eating food is my anchor, the act of eating something that tastes good, knocks me out of it, although this is a historical technique that works for me, as I see good tasting food as my security blanket, it's the one thing that has never let me down in any way x

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

Brilliant posts above... Good luck to all those struggling xx

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By *aul DeUther-OneMan
16 weeks ago

Sussex

"Alternate nostril breathing. It's a yoga thing and really helps with emotional regulation as it engages the parasympathetic nervous system and shuts down fight or flight. "

Somewhere on YouTube there's a video about a technique taught to special forces, called box breathing.

Start by emptying your lungs as far as you comfortably can, then

1. Breathe in through your nose for four seconds.

2. Hold that breath in for four seconds

3. Breathe out through your nose for four seconds.

4. Hold your lungs in that way for four seconds

Repeat steps 1-4

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
16 weeks ago

Carlisle

"Try a grounding technique

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can taste

1 thing you can smell... take a slow deep inhale and slowly let it out "

Yes, definitely.

But I find it only helps when I can recognise the start of the feelings of anxiousness. I used that to rein it back in. When I'm down that rabbit hole, I find someone distracting me in a neutral way ie not with their angst or with bickering from kids or on the flip side someone trying to pleasure me, helps. Otherwise I have to ride it out and let my mind spiral. It's horrible though.

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By *ex HolesMan
16 weeks ago

Up North

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety. "

I’d take a long break from Fab then if that’s case. Hope you’re feeling better soon OP

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety.

I’d take a long break from Fab then if that’s case. Hope you’re feeling better soon OP

I was considering it. But knowing there’s people like you here that care so much is reason enough for me to stay.

Love bro

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
16 weeks ago

Leeds

I have no techniques but need some so following.

Mrs

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By *naswingdressWoman
16 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

Most important thing to remember, if you're already fighting with your brain, is that you don't need haters on top

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM

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By *he KakapoMan
16 weeks ago

A nice rock

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety. "

What have you found in the past has helped?

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By *imi_RougeWoman
16 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I don't 😂

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By *he KakapoMan
16 weeks ago

A nice rock

[Removed by poster at 14/08/24 13:18:58]

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By *essiCouple
16 weeks ago

suffolk

"Try a grounding technique

5 things you can see

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can taste

1 thing you can smell... take a slow deep inhale and slowly let it out "

Exactly this, if you can..

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By *ella chowMan
16 weeks ago

Bradford

I hate the feeling of being awake in bed and feeling like am having a heart attack or just about to have a heart attack any help welcome

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By *he KakapoMan
16 weeks ago

A nice rock

One thing I've found helps is if I asked my self "so what?" Step by step.

If this happens so what..what can happen next...

Most of the time it helps and the worst outcome is far far less severe than I imagine when I skip each step and jump straight to a worst outcome

*I've also found I need to proof read every single thing I type

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By *viatrixWoman
16 weeks ago

Redhill

I was on beta-blockers and benzodiazepines for years and years…

The reality is that anxiety and panic disorder are a part of me. Growing up with a mother with borderline personality disorder was never going to be easy. And menopause has magnified the anxiety times ♾️…

I am not on medication. I try to talk myself down and try to rationalise that I am blowing things out of proportion. Music helps a lot too! I find that my panic attacks come in waves… I just let the wave wash over me and things tend to get better.

Linden tea helps. ☕️

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By *hrek101Man
16 weeks ago

Herts

Thanks for this thread my daughter started having these so good to hear how others cope👍🏽

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenic OP Man
16 weeks ago

Ends

"Is there anyone you can talk to, Pickle?

Myself mostly

I find keeping up with conversations doesn’t help my anxiety.

What have you found in the past has helped?"

Therapy.

I had private but $$$$ now I’m on the waiting list for local NHS service.

So just raw dogging life until then. Well kinda. I do have my anxiety meds

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By *a LunaWoman
16 weeks ago

South Wales

Following.

Currently I’m on medication for my anxiety and it has been a game changer, but last check up at the Dr’s they suggested considering taking a holiday from the medication as it’s been linked to Osteoarthritis.

Not sure how I feel about that to be honest. It hasn’t happened yet though.

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By *ingleGent45Man
16 weeks ago

Clacton

"Those diagnosed with anxiety disorder, how do you manage your anxiety?

How do you talk yourself down from the persistent anxious thoughts?"

I been thinking about you all day buddy, not in a sexual manner just how to respond to this thread, have had the turmoil's of anxiety meself and use music as my main distraction tho a walk out helps too but I'm on the coast, I've no idea what walking's like where you are but if you can manage it a stroll with some music through ya headphones and the fresh air may aid you, if not and you fancy a chat I'll be on daily to listen should you need to voice some pressures, I've currently hid me profile as I've lost a fair amount of weight this last few months and have decided to hide me profile till I can put some weight back on, I don't know if you can message me or not but at worst if you start a thread with me name(I will check daily) then I'll unhide me profile if you want to chat, I wish you all the best my friend and hope you make it through ok, sending my best wishes through the atmosphere to ya, Champion!

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By *uicy 2020Woman
16 weeks ago

London

I know what i should do, but its so hard to actually do it isnt it.

I have some meds i can take if i feel an anxiety attack coming on, which im grateful for.

Other things ive tried include texting the shout service (although that can sometime take ages to get through to someone), having some camomile and honey tea (more the act of making it and being present while drinking it i think). I also listen to sleep stories every night so i have something to focus on, which lessens the chances of those brain goblins getting on that bloody hamster wheel.

Unfortunately many of the coping strategies i actually use in real life are not healthy ones, but im working on that. X

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