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Do you feel an outsider?

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By *arla Swinger OP   Woman
17 weeks ago

Somewhere

I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *aughtyNaughtyHertsMan
17 weeks ago

London area

I add replies to the odd post, I quite like being able to drop in and out.

Love the forums tbh

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ozzybear1981Man
17 weeks ago

preston

I probably spend to much time in them and just say daft stuff as I do 😂

Perhaps a break is needed though and come back and do it all again 😂

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *-jonMan
17 weeks ago

London

I wouldn’t overthink what it is, it’s just a thread to put your humour or opinion (hopefully fair and polite) into. I don’t sense any cliche. Look at it as it is, just people flowing with some witty messages that hit or don’t, I don’t think anyone pays any notice in reality

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 01:54:22]

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I'm an infrequent poster and then I'll have an intense period, depending what's happening in my life

There are so many new users i don't know that I'd like to know better!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *B69Woman
17 weeks ago

Wiltshire

I’ve dipped in and out for years, people come and go, it’s a positive place majority of the time and you get out what you put in, enjoy

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
17 weeks ago

somewhere

There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ildbillkidMan
17 weeks ago

where the road goes on forever

I did at first, from being on the other side of the water, but I got use to the forum and it got use to me

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *-jonMan
17 weeks ago

London

Belladonna - could’ve been the start of a new a “clique” to hit the “cliché”.

To be honest OP, if that’s the case just message these profiles and if it doesn’t gather momentum, so what… it is what it is . Just try have a good time. As BD mentioned, if that’s not the case, take a break. X

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *igboro01Man
17 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

Yes I feel like you comment but get swept aside xx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ozzybear1981Man
17 weeks ago

preston


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all."

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arla Swinger OP   Woman
17 weeks ago

Somewhere


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too "

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ozzybear1981Man
17 weeks ago

preston


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not "

There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.

If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.

If they don’t then that’s also fine too.

I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep

It that way

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
17 weeks ago

south coast IOW

Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *arla Swinger OP   Woman
17 weeks ago

Somewhere


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not

There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.

If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.

If they don’t then that’s also fine too.

I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep

It that way "

So you could a just says ditto? *l

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ozzybear1981Man
17 weeks ago

preston


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not

There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.

If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.

If they don’t then that’s also fine too.

I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep

It that way

So you could a just says ditto? *l "

Then……ditto

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *-jonMan
17 weeks ago

London


"Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx"

Well said Eve!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ir Toot of the frostMan
17 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not

There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.

If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.

If they don’t then that’s also fine too.

I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep

It that way

So you could a just says ditto? *l

Then……ditto "

I think as you mentioned I don't care anymore and just going on, I used to when i was younger though.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
17 weeks ago

south coast IOW

Ha ha. 🍎i must admit i have been tempted by the odd snake 😈

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ozzybear1981Man
17 weeks ago

preston


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all.

I get this, I really get this.

I’ll post and majority of the time it’s just blanked and left to disappear into the thread.

But that doesn’t bother me, I’ve been on and off of here for years myself.

I don’t let anything bother me, I’ve become far to positive in myself to think that why don’t I get a response to my post affect me.

It’s just one of those things.

And if I can make someone happy then I’m happy and I’ll take that.

Anyone that just wants to brush past then that’s fine, I won’t loose any sleep from it.

I’ll just keep being me that’s all, and I’ll always make myself happy by being me too

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

So Fab is quite an easy ride.. But for those without built up tolerance.... Maybe not

There’s little that I take to heart be it in life or fabs really.

If someone wants to interact then that’s fine, I’m happy to do that.

If they don’t then that’s also fine too.

I’ll always be happy and positive and know what I’m worth so for me life is good and I’ll keep

It that way

So you could a just says ditto? *l

Then……ditto

I think as you mentioned I don't care anymore and just going on, I used to when i was younger though."

As long as people are happy then I’m happy.

I’m a people pleaser too, but I also put myself as a priority and make sure that I’m happy being me now too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ellhungvweMan
17 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t think anyone is actually an insider - you just have people who post more often than others for a while and then they tend to disappear.

My view: just be you and don’t try to chase popularity.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
17 weeks ago

south coast IOW


"I don’t think anyone is actually an insider - you just have people who post more often than others for a while and then they tend to disappear.

My view: just be you and don’t try to chase popularity. "

👍

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *eliWoman
17 weeks ago

.


"Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx"

Perfectly said. I'm a great believer in being the change you want to see, even more so on here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
17 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"

It's not as bad as it used to be, not so much willy waving and lamp post pissing now I feel

I just post what I post, if it's acknowledged, great, if not then fine. I do feel there is an element of 'if your face doesn't fit' at times, especially when it comes to the hypocrisy and double standards

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Outsider on Fab and in real life too, always have been.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *iker JackMan
17 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

Over the past few months and definitely recently the forums have changed. Many of the regulars seemed to have left and been in hibernation and they have definitely got more quiet.

There has always been talk of a clique. I wouldn’t say that as much other than people who know of each other whether on here or not of here but there are definitely those that ignore

. Are there some people who take over and post all day…yes there is.

Are there some posts that get ignored…yes there are

Sometimes do you script a response that you think you’ve put maximum effort in to and nothing…totally

There is no simple answer I am afraid. What I will say is that the forums are a small part of fab but can be the most frustrating part.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ustamanMan
17 weeks ago

weymouth

Often but then in general I find the real world the same - often feel I'm just observing and not participating despite my feeble attempts to

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 01:54:22]"

Unlos…. That’s one way to be an outsider!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ealitybitesMan
17 weeks ago

Belfast

I've been here 8 years and using the forums for 5.

I've often said that fab is just a hobby, not a lifestyle choice and I spend much less than an hour a day on it, sometimes less than half an hour.

I don't use any part of the site apart from the forums.

I've started threads that got no traction at all and had one of the more productive forumites start exactly the same thread on the very same day(dick measuring, forum style) and it often reaches the 175 reply limit.

I've spoken in private and in some cases met people who are the polar opposite to their forum persona and it's a little sad to see the levels some will stoop to in order to remain relevant on a forum.

A lot of what I say on here goes against the grain and doesn't suit the group love-in so it doesn't surprise me that my comments are like marmite.

Many forum regulars have blocked me for those reasons while at the same time many other forum regulars compliment me for not being an echochamber.

I'm happy with either reaction because I don't have a playground mentality.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lint-EverhardMan
17 weeks ago

Perpignan and cap

I've been kicked out a few times for causing a "scene".

Wankers!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

Sometimes yes. Sometimes no.

It depends who is logged in in the forums and who is posting.

You know what I mean. A group of friends can and will take over threads sometimes.

But other times people are online, and it can be all sorts of fun in here.

In all honesty, I’ve been welcomed in this forum a long time ago from some really good fun people, they’re not here anymore, (a few are) and it realy is a place where if there’s a good vibe, it passes on to anyone who joins in. So I try to be as inclusive as I can to those who post regardless of popularity.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ittlebirdWoman
17 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I enjoy commenting on the forums. I love the interaction yes but I post what I want without the need that anyone will “get it” or respond. I do it because I enjoy it… for me. I do always try to be kind though. Everyone deserves kindness. Unless they’re being an utter twat waffle of course 😘

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *till gameMan
17 weeks ago

two doors down


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all."

You’ve hit nail on the head there, 👍

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ngel-ishandtheswingersCouple
17 weeks ago

Colchester

I use the forums for me.

Mostly just read, once in a while will comment.

I am an outsider by choice, it's where I am most comfortable.

If I didn't enjoy it, I'd take time away x

I have never felt unwelcome or left out, the site is what you make of it. For me it's been fantastic

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By *idnight RamblerMan
17 weeks ago

Pershore

A lot of repetition, with the same subjects popping up on a regular cycle. I suppose that's inevitable.

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends

Time to play clique this morning.

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
17 weeks ago

Carlisle


"A lot of repetition, with the same subjects popping up on a regular cycle. I suppose that's inevitable. "

Yes!

You don't comment for a week then you come back and it's exactly the same questions.

In fact I answered something similar to this a couple of weeks ago.

I agree with many. I don't expect a reply by anyone to my comments, that's never the goal. So never really go back to any comment on a thread (unless I've started the thread) as I've expressed my opinion and that's it.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
17 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

I’ve been around FAB for quite a few years and a lot of posters back in the day don’t post now.

So it shows it changes often. New people come in and it changes. The people who think are the cool kids on the forums will soon fade and someone else takes the baton.

I don’t comment on posts from people who I don’t vibe with - I’ve found the forums can feel like you’re being ignored so now I don’t try to be noticed and just use it for my benefit.

Just enjoy the forums how you want to.

K

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By *ntraditional_GentMan
17 weeks ago

Birmingham

I dip in and out. I took about 18 months off Fab and when I came back with a new profile, everyone I’d spoken to previously seemed to have left Fab too. So it sort of felt like starting from scratch again last year and I’ve not really gotten back in to the forums properly since.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
17 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I think everyone has times when they are ignored. It’s how much importance you put on that that will determine if you feel like an outsider or not.

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
17 weeks ago

North West

I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends


"I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍"

Few weeks off 👀

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
17 weeks ago

North West


"I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍

Few weeks off 👀"

I know. I'm a lucky duck! 🎉

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By *ulieScrumptiousWoman
17 weeks ago

North West

And yes this is a new profile but I've been here with B for flecking ages now.

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends


"I've a few weeks off work so able to post more than normal and I'm enjoying it. I've always been a front of the bus person - the back is scary. I find my fellow weirdos at the front 😍

Few weeks off 👀

I know. I'm a lucky duck! 🎉"

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By *heGateKeeperMan
17 weeks ago

Stratford

In a lot of instances the engagement is with people who have met or are about to meet. Most people who might be considered cliquey are likely to also be people who have attended organised socials and such like in Manchester, Birmingham, London and thus there is a natural familiarity and commonality there.

I also think that the lack of an opportunity to engage with posts/users through likes/thumbs up etc without actually commenting makes people feel unseen when in fact they are not.

I’m amazed at how many people I’ve never interacted or engaged with want to say hi when I they see me in person and remember something I said or did previously

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
17 weeks ago

Leeds

[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 09:14:36]

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By *aseylee324Couple
17 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

I've always felt like an outsider, fab is no different

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
17 weeks ago

Leeds

Sometimes I post & get ignored sometimes I post and get replies, it is what it is, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - fab is a bit of fun, the forums the same.

The more people post the more people are recognised and the more you feel like you kind of know that person.

I did notice I had more replies on my single woman's profile though suprise suprise.

Mrs

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By *ost SockMan
17 weeks ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.

I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.

The two things I always say:

1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.

Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it

2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .

I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it.

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
17 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

The posters change but the topics strangely always stay the same.

Literally the same threads get recycled every few weeks, with the same hackneyed replies. How many times has the "ick" thread come up this year?

"Crocs" is basically a meme at this point.

Honestly forums are boring af

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
17 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"Sometimes I post & get ignored sometimes I post and get replies, it is what it is, it doesn't bother me in the slightest - fab is a bit of fun, the forums the same.

The more people post the more people are recognised and the more you feel like you kind of know that person.

I did notice I had more replies on my single woman's profile though suprise suprise.

Mrs

"

Slight disagreement. No suprise suprise and fab would be MORE fun if people weren't so wrapped up in themselves and constantly blaming others for how they feel.

Those kinds of posts do more to make this 'adult' site like a junior playground.

We are ALL sitting alone in our own rooms.

The forum is EXACTLY what YOUR mind tells you it is.

Maybe change your perspective.

( not aimed at you MKOTCT I just tagged in on your post )

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
17 weeks ago

Hell

I’ve felt a few outsiders

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
17 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"I’ve felt a few outsiders "

Boom ! That was my first thought

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
17 weeks ago

Hell


"I’ve felt a few outsiders

Boom ! That was my first thought "

psychic sisters

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By *d mirerMan
17 weeks ago

lost

Hello

I’m pretty new to posting on the forums , probably like many I’d read bits and pieces on and off before taking a seat and getting involved . I don’t feel like an outsider to be honest , I’d say I’m possibly a boundary forum user . I post when I feel like it and generally I find it pretty accepting . My view is that people will use in their own way and like anywhere groups of friends will interact more with each other due to knowing each other better or being used to the way they interact . It’s pretty obvious to suggest that some people will also gravitate towards people they fancy or want to impress , or groups they want to be part of .

It is what you make of it I suppose , personally I find it a decent way to enjoy the site , partly because I’m a shit swinger and don’t bombard everyone within 300 miles with messages and photos of my doodah and dangly bits .

Ps ….. I wasn’t a cool kid on the bus but I’d sit at the back to piss them off

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By *d mirerMan
17 weeks ago

lost


"I’ve felt a few outsiders "

😂😂😂

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By *eah BabyCouple
17 weeks ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

More like someone passing through as I only dip in and out

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By *wiss Army KnifeMan
17 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

Sort of sat at the edge of the pool, basking in the sunshine and taking a quick dip now and then sort of fella.

That’s me 😊

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By *oiluvfunMan
17 weeks ago

Penrith


"

It's not as bad as it used to be, not so much willy waving and lamp post pissing now I feel

I just post what I post, if it's acknowledged, great, if not then fine. I do feel there is an element of 'if your face doesn't fit' at times, especially when it comes to the hypocrisy and double standards

"

I agree

I’ve been in Fab for over 11 years now, and post regular in the forums, so have seen people come and go, and also been an outsider to the cliques/lamp post pissers of old. Geography puts me out of the clubs scene, and group socials, and ironically; these gatherings of ‘friendly’ people often drive the bulk of what are perceived as cliques in the forum…..

I just say what I think. Sometimes you find a likeminded soul you get to messaging with, but they’re always too far away for an actual meet. It’s still nice to chat though

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends

I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok

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By *lack_NoirMan
17 weeks ago

London

I must admit I usually only read the forums and not reply much but started to change that recently.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
17 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"I must admit I usually only read the forums and not reply much but started to change that recently. "

Good - the more the merrier.

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By *affron40Woman
17 weeks ago

manchester

I’ve been knocking around the forums for about 9 years and take regular very long breaks. Every time I come back there are loads of people I don’t know and the dynamic shifts a little. This place is a sum of the people interacting on any given day.

I actually think it’s a nice balance at the mo with nobody dominating the threads and plenty of newer people getting involved. I’ve made several new friends and I’ve enjoyed the last month or so.

We are all individuals who make the choice to post something or not and loads of comments go unanswered. I post whatever nonsense I fancy and it usually makes me chuckle. If I’m amused that’s it, job done. I’ll be off again soon

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By *elix SightedMan
17 weeks ago

Cloud 8


"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.

I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.

The two things I always say:

1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.

Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it

2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .

I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it."

What a load of shameful drivel.

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By *estman for the jobMan
17 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Always feel like an outsider looking in

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By *odgerMan
17 weeks ago

Coventry(ish)London


"Ive been here since the beginning and seen forumites come and go. The main names you see change over time and new ones emerge. I add my own comments when i fancy doing so or just read and enjoy others banter. If i get a response to a comment then fine if i dont then equally fine, i still took part. Dont worry about other peoples interactions just focus on your own. Why not respond to a post you think has been ignored? or a name that is unfamiliar ? so they feel they have been seen. You may even spark up your own rapport. There are many, like me, who dip in and out of the forums. Just enjoy it for what it is, let others banter make you smile, and strike up a bit of flow with a newby and you may discover your part of the ‘clique’ being talked about in a few months. Anyone can comment in a forum so you will never be excluded xxxxx"

To be fair, the banter bar is set quite low. Most 'forumites' think they're funny but actually they're not at all

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

I prefer being on the periphery. I'm not very good at being in the centre of things or groups of people. I personally feel there's too much pressure to conform (probably self imposed) if you're in a regular group.

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By *leasureman247Man
17 weeks ago

Ashford

Been on here in and off and when it comes to the other side of Fab it is very select and people’s criteria is hard to meet, the forums are the place to make acquaintances but other than that it seems you have to be verified by umpteen people or there’s no chance but if no one gives you that chance then how can you meet the what seems strict criteria ? And yes I’m fully aware of pic collectors, weirdos, and time wasters so yes I understand caution.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"

I have only just discovered the forum . Everybody here are really nice and welcoming , but i still feel like a randomer walking up to a group of people and butting in on their conversation . Dont know why because like i say all you folks seem very nice

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By *oxy jWoman
17 weeks ago

somerset

couldnt care less many try to stop me posting because they cant handle different opinions but i just do me ... ill stop for no one

the problem with these forums is some think they are up and above all but your not its a open forum that 99% of the site membes cant be bothered with ... its tiny tiny part of fab 1% or 2% use it ... a few think that there shit just dont stink ....

no one should be afraid of posting no matter how many karens there are every one has a opinion / point to make these forums are for all not the few just ignore those who think they own/run this tiny tiny part of fab

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
17 weeks ago

Manchester

I really enjoy the forums. I often comment but I never expect anything as most of the time, it just doesn't get a comment or anything. It's fine, I'm not trying to get pity or anything. People respond to people they know generally.

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By *iker JackMan
17 weeks ago

Wolverhampton


"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.

I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.

The two things I always say:

1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.

Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it

2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .

I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it."

What defines a good forum member?

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I dip in and out don't pay too much attention to it. I came off most other social media in 2007 as wasn't interested.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
17 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Who wants a game of marbles.....

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.

I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge

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By *anceAloneWoman
17 weeks ago

Adjacent to him


"I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.

I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge "

What's up with my football team 😱🤣

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.

I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge

What's up with my football team 😱🤣"

I don't even know who you support

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By *ou only live onceMan
17 weeks ago

London

I've been kicking around the forum for a couple of years now, but can be a fairly sporadic poster at times.

I agree people should just dive in - it's a free-for-all.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago

I always feel an outsider here, like my body confidence is zero and I’ll get into a habit of comparing myself to others! But weirdly I stick here maybe just to remind myself that like yeah no one’s interested! I mean I’ve grown use to it now so it doesn’t affect me too much! But I do find it can be isolating here, not all the time but it has its moments! So I get anyone feeling the same!

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By *ltrMan
17 weeks ago

sheffield

Had some sound advice of some forums also some knob heads but on the whole find it good

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Fab forums are a useful distraction for me. I started posting with no expectation that anyone would take any notice. I still have that approach.

I think whether or not your posts or threads garner any attention or reaction is dependent on who is online, what time of day it is, what the general mood is, etc., etc. There are so many variables that you really can't read anything into your success, or lack of it.

I was never on a school bus.

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"I really enjoy the forums. I often comment but I never expect anything as most of the time, it just doesn't get a comment or anything. It's fine, I'm not trying to get pity or anything. People respond to people they know generally. "

Ive just started commenting . The forum gives fab another dimension . Though sometimes its like walking into a bar full of locals , it all goes quiet and everyone turns to look at the stranger ... Yes its me folks ,,,hi !!!

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By *olfandtazCouple
17 weeks ago

Bristol

Been on and off fab personally for around 20yrs and found the forums to be a tad clique at times, once you get over that it can be a fun place and make friends

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By *anceAloneWoman
17 weeks ago

Adjacent to him


"I think it's easy to feel ignored and blame a "clique" when someone doesn't reply to your posts and even though I never post expecting a response, I find that if you take the initiative to respond to others, that opens the door to being familiar with you and help people feel more included.

I pick and choose topics to comment on as well. I used to stick to fairly inoffensive threads when I joined but now I'll happily tell you how shit your football team are and how you have 0 ball knowledge

What's up with my football team 😱🤣

I don't even know who you support "

Yeah..they shit...I admit it 😆

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By *osey WalesMan
17 weeks ago

Surrey


"I'm an infrequent poster and then I'll have an intense period, depending what's happening in my life

There are so many new users i don't know that I'd like to know better! "

Awww Midnight, i'd be happy for you to get to know me better 🤭

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
17 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We remember when this was all just fields.

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By *ilthycouple24Couple
17 weeks ago

Glasgow

This place has a hidden hierarchy it's like Jim crow racism it not seeable but it's there and yiu can feel it

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By *ilthycouple24Couple
17 weeks ago

Glasgow


"We remember when this was all just fields."
orange trees as far as the eye could see

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By *he KakapoMan
17 weeks ago

A nice rock

I dip I'm and put of here so I don't really mind of any of my posts get traction.

When I post it's either for my own entertainment or because I've a point I'd like to make. Either way I'm not too fussed if I get a reply.

I can see why new people perceive there to be cliques because it natural that people who know each other (via the forum or meeting irl) will engaged with each other more.

I've always found this a welcoming enough place, it is a pretty fast moving forum with poor reply and edit fuctions tho so posts can get lost in the cracks

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
17 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"We remember when this was all just fields. orange trees as far as the eye could see"

We could see much further then as well…

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends


"This place has a hidden hierarchy it's like Jim crow racism it not seeable but it's there and yiu can feel it"

It’s just like Jim Crow era racism in here. You’re so right.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
17 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok"

Do you?

I don't miss anyone who readily believes the lies others tell them...

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
17 weeks ago

Cheshire

I have seen posts when someone is feeling terrible, expresses it on here and then gets a lot of positive feedback. Comments telling them their inbox is open and they really wants to help, doesn’t matter if it’s a man, woman, TS or TV, it’s taken seriously and help is offered.

It can be a tough place as well, my very first forum post I got lambasted by another when I said I was a CD and TV (I am)

But like all posts on here, it’s soon disappears and all is forgotten.

Just take this place for what it is, a few minutes to tell others, your opinions on a subject controversial or not, favourite film, song, pop group or boobs

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By *ripfillMan
17 weeks ago

havant

I have been so lucky - never really an outsider

School university work sport etc in fact I am very much team and inclusive.

However the heart break is I am an outsider from my family’s view point - I do not conform and I do not fit in.

I have tried over the years to build those ‘ bridges’ but it s very temporary structure

Now with a family of my own it’s totally fine

Sad sometimes to reflect but - move on !

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By *jorkishMan
17 weeks ago

Seaforth


"There was a thread from Pickle earlier and someone mentioned secondary school, in all honesty, I've been here for 10 years this year and I can honestly say that sometimes it does feel a bit like that, you know when you are on the bus and all the cool kids are at the back and you know you don't go up there because you ain't one of them? Yeah that.

There is definitely an air on lots of posts, about different topics that if you face/name doesn't fit, you don't get replied too, yet one of the "cool" lot will post an almost identical post/view and suddenly it's the funniest thing, most profound thing etc and like I say, I've been using these here forums for the best part of a decade, so I've witnessed alot lol. Everyone knows exactly what I'm talking about, everyone is sitting there with a grin on their faces and that's ok....as long as everyone is happy, not taking it to heart and getting involved

That said, even with the above, I still continue to post as every now and then I make someone smile/laugh and that's my ultimate goal in life, is to make someone's day at least once a day and if I can cheer someone up, then my job is done, I'll still be sitting in the middle of the bus, watching them all."

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By *ansoffateMan
17 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I always feel a bit of an outsider, I get involved in groups quite sparingly, usually for a specified purpose. If it's socially then it's usually only small groups, or individuals.

Online it's different, I don't see this as a group as such. More a place were connections can potentially form. The clique thing, I see as a natural phenomena that will ebb and flow. It's not intrinsically bad, but it has the potential to be. E.g. From one perspective it's people defending a friend from another it's a subgroup ganging up on another.

I tend to have a natural aversion to group think, even when it's seemingly pleasant, it feels like a phony sense of validation and assurance.

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends


"I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok

Do you?

I don't miss anyone who readily believes the lies others tell them..."

👀👀

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By *parkle1974Woman
17 weeks ago

Leeds

It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.

I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x

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By *Silver-Man
17 weeks ago

Mold


"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"

They are very open to everyone but they are also very cliquè and I'll agree to disagree with anyone that doesn't agree

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
17 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"I miss outsider. Hope she’s ok

Do you?

I don't miss anyone who readily believes the lies others tell them...

👀👀"

This post needs moving to the friendly chat thread

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By *he KakapoMan
17 weeks ago

A nice rock


"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.

I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x"

Since I've come back ive seen alot less of the rippi g apart of new users...

I'm not sure if I've just become oblivious to it or has it actually lessened

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By *hilloutMan
17 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest


"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"

Only a small percentage of fab users actually participate in the forums, though I suspect a greater number are intermittent lurkers. It's always good to see new participants and their contributions.

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By *parkle1974Woman
17 weeks ago

Leeds


"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.

I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x

Since I've come back ive seen alot less of the rippi g apart of new users...

I'm not sure if I've just become oblivious to it or has it actually lessened"

Definitely hasn't lessoned which is a shame because it would be nice to get more newbies participating x

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.

I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x

Since I've come back ive seen alot less of the rippi g apart of new users...

I'm not sure if I've just become oblivious to it or has it actually lessened

Definitely hasn't lessoned which is a shame because it would be nice to get more newbies participating x"

To be fair , people have been quite welcoming to me . Unless im too thick skinned to notice any sly digs !!

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
17 weeks ago

North Worcestershire

Slightly, yeah...

To keep it short and sweet, I think there are those trying to keep in with the 'cool kids' but still slightly on the fringe, all the veteran regulars that know each other on a first name basis and then you've got all the newbies.

Personally, I feel somewhere in the middle of all of those.

I'm not new, entirely, but I haven't been on here for as long as others... hopefully, what I say brightens up people's days and cheers people up.

I'm not new to the scene at all but I guess subconsciously, we're all trying to get noticed in some way... it's partly why we're on here right? Either to get noticed for meets, socials or interaction on here.

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By *ealitybitesMan
17 weeks ago

Belfast

It's all about perception.

Every single time someone starts a thread about who they miss in the forums the usual suspects drag up the usual suspects.

Former forumites are lauded for being lovely, inclusive and the life and soul of the forums.

My experience of many of those people both personally and through the forums was that they were belligerent, ignorant, snidey and exclusively inclusive to those who kissed their arse.

Apart from that I'm sure they were and are lovely but there must be some reason they are no longer able to post on the forums. 😁

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By *jorkishMan
17 weeks ago

Seaforth


"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.

I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x"

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By *jorkishMan
17 weeks ago

Seaforth

I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"It is really nice to see new posters starting threads but what is disheartening is seeing them ripped apart from "regulars" especially if the topic has been on the forums lots.

I used to use the forums loads but they have become quite repetitive with the same posters again lately so I rarely comment much these days x "

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By *ealitybitesMan
17 weeks ago

Belfast

It's all about perception.

Every single time someone starts a thread about who they miss in the forums the usual suspects drag up the usual suspects.

Former forumites are lauded for being lovely, inclusive and the life and soul of the forums.

My experience of many of those people both personally and through the forums was that they were belligerent, ignorant, snidey and exclusively inclusive to those who kissed their arse.

Apart from that I'm sure they were and are lovely but there must be some reason they are no longer able to post on the forums. 😁

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
17 weeks ago

Essex


"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think"

I wouldn’t take it personally. Some days I get loads of responses. Other days I get tumble.

I feel neither an outsider nor an insider. I’m here by my own free will. I join in as I please. I take very little personally. It’s just another aspect to my life. A bit of fun.

When it’s not fun - I go away for a bit. Same as I would if I stopped enjoying the gym/book club/pub or whatever.

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By *parkle1974Woman
17 weeks ago

Leeds


"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think"

That does happen often but I wouldn't let it stop you posting. My eyes get a work out with all the rolling they do when all the fawning starts...never mind secondary school, sometimes it more like a comedy club Desperation to remain relevant at its finest sometimes

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By *jorkishMan
17 weeks ago

Seaforth


"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think

I wouldn’t take it personally. Some days I get loads of responses. Other days I get tumble.

I feel neither an outsider nor an insider. I’m here by my own free will. I join in as I please. I take very little personally. It’s just another aspect to my life. A bit of fun.

When it’s not fun - I go away for a bit. Same as I would if I stopped enjoying the gym/book club/pub or whatever."

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By *iddlesticksMan
17 weeks ago

My nan’s spare room.


"I've been on Fab like over a decade, and I only cottoned on to the forum a bit ago... I view, I post. I laugh along with the stuff often posted... Do I feel part of the regularly mentioned 'cliche', no I do not. I feel the forums are v open to anyone wishing to join in. Whether that's brand new/been here some time. Let's all just dive in and enjoy it for what it is 😊"

Well said.

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By *jorkishMan
17 weeks ago

Seaforth


"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think

That does happen often but I wouldn't let it stop you posting. My eyes get a work out with all the rolling they do when all the fawning starts...never mind secondary school, sometimes it more like a comedy club Desperation to remain relevant at its finest sometimes "

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
17 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Said this loads of times and I'll say it again, as its my experience of using the forums for 8 years on and off....

All are welcome in the forums, not all are included though.....

It is just like the play ground, only worse as its adults behaving like children, children know no better, I'd like to think adults do, but........then you find the forums 🤣🤣

Mr

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By *obilebottomMan
17 weeks ago

All over

I just post when I feel like it. I do try to be inclusive in my responses and the threads I do myself sometimes to the annoyance of some but I take no notice. There are some 'characters' on here that think too much of themselves but then don't we all know some of those in real life? There are lots of lovely people on here to to interact with though and I focus on them avoiding the arrogant, argumentative, dogmatic and those too far up the khyber

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By *gent CoulsonMan
17 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I'm kind of in and out of posts and comments, if people interact with them it's fine if not, it's just a bit of fun

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By *andT2023Couple
17 weeks ago

in the middle

I am not usually a forum dweller but as i have more time on my hands at the minute i am discovering the joy on here. I try to avoid devisive posts. I enjoy the banter on the whole . Do i feel like an outsider ..yes ..

Do i really care ..not really

If people interact i am happy ..if not no problem.

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By *illy IdolMan
17 weeks ago

Midlands

Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next beard thread to come along.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
17 weeks ago

Staffordshire


"Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next bard thread to come along."

FTFY.

Seems more visually appropriate.

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By *hunky GentMan
17 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

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By *illy IdolMan
17 weeks ago

Midlands


"Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next bard thread to come along.

FTFY.

Seems more visually appropriate."

Get outta ma pub, you're bard!

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By *ongtallsillyMan
17 weeks ago

Telford

I enjoy reading and occasionally posting in the forum and feeling part of the community, all be it not to active, is the whole point for me. Lets face it at 63 I'm not going to get many meets lol.

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By *ongtallsillyMan
17 weeks ago

Telford

[Removed by poster at 09/08/24 13:38:01]

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By *avexxMan
17 weeks ago

cheshire

i flit in and out sometimes join in sometimes not,,, always try to keep it fun the day its stops being fun then it will be time to say goodbye,,,

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Herts

I’ve read this entire thread. And all I can say is I’ll agree with everyone and everything if it’ll make me popular.

Think I’m getting the hang of the forums now. Maybe.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
17 weeks ago

Reading

It depends on the thread. Some are definitely very cliquey others open to all. I just avoid the cliquey ones problem solved

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By *viatrixWoman
17 weeks ago

Redhill

The same 2-3 peole reply to my comments on a thread (and very grateful to all of them ) I never start threads because I know they won’t have any traction. I do enjoy dipping in and out, though silly threads and games test my patience. Of course, it’s my issue and I can always choose not to read.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
17 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"I just post when I feel like it. I do try to be inclusive in my responses and the threads I do myself sometimes to the annoyance of some but I take no notice. There are some 'characters' on here that think too much of themselves but then don't we all know some of those in real life? There are lots of lovely people on here to to interact with though and I focus on them avoiding the arrogant, argumentative, dogmatic and those too far up the khyber "

And the passive aggressives ? Do you ignore those too ?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
17 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"Sometimes I feel like an outsider when nothing piques my interest. Everyone is having fun ordering their virtual coffee's and iced lattes and I'm sat all alone, just waiting. Waiting for the next bard thread to come along.

FTFY.

Seems more visually appropriate."

Fank Thuck ?

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By *JB1954Man
17 weeks ago

Reading

Been on fab many years. Do post on forums sometimes. Have found that most times my comment on a post ignored. Yet one of say regular posters made very similar comment to mine. Lot of replies , comments from others. Yes will still post . Even if ignored.

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By *agatoXXXMan
17 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

So I'm not the only one:

https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/1622753#top

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By *hrista BellendWoman
17 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No. Not at all, I do however miss replies to my comments, as I'm tardy and don't frequently revisit them though... I'm not ignoring people, I just forget about the threads

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By *ubikslongswordMan
17 weeks ago

East Grinstead


"Always feel like an outsider looking in"

So do I mate, I've been here for at least 10 years under different guises but other than a brief period I've always felt like an outsider, but I take the rough with the smooth and keep spouting whatever nonsense I feel like people will either like it or they won't 🤷‍♂️

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By *entBarryUKMan
17 weeks ago

Ashford

I only stay to join in the occasional post that intrigues me. And the hot photos and videos of course.

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By *ealitybitesMan
17 weeks ago

Belfast


"It's all about perception.

Every single time someone starts a thread about who they miss in the forums the usual suspects drag up the usual suspects.

Former forumites are lauded for being lovely, inclusive and the life and soul of the forums.

My experience of many of those people both personally and through the forums was that they were belligerent, ignorant, snidey and exclusively inclusive to those who kissed their arse.

Apart from that I'm sure they were and are lovely but there must be some reason they are no longer able to post on the forums. 😁"

Typical. I've just realised I posted the same response twice and nobody could even be arsed to tell me.

I hereby retract my clique application if that's how it's going to be😎🤪

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By *rown_Bread78Man
17 weeks ago

Leeds

Yup

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
17 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I just entertain myself. If someone joins in with me then great

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"I just entertain myself. If someone joins in with me then great"

That’s the spirit

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By *yzykMan
17 weeks ago

Stirlingshire

Just only really look in on The Lounge every now and then, sometimes chip in

The Scotland forum is really clique-y and the Politics forum is just a fucking cesspit

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By *idssissyTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Birmingham

I used to get annoyed if my comments were ignored, esp if someone more popular pretty much said the same thing and got reaction.

But it is what it is now.

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By *r SproutMan
17 weeks ago

the middle

I post what i want and move on. I rarely check back on threads to see if anyone replies. I was told this morning to check a thread from 5 days ago because they had replied to me on there about something

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"I post what i want and move on. I rarely check back on threads to see if anyone replies. I was told this morning to check a thread from 5 days ago because they had replied to me on there about something

"

This sounds like me at times. I do treat this place the same as I used twitter.

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By *rHotNottsMan
17 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’ve been on fab about 8 years but only on the forum since lock down. I’ve met a lot of ‘popular’ people & have regular FB/FWB’s here but still feel an outsider and actually like it that way. I’ve seen the meltdowns & fallouts when peoples lives get dominated by FAB

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By *ookie46Woman
17 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

I’ve used the forums pretty much the whole six years I’ve been here. I dip in and out of them and have made some fantastic friends along the way

Do I feel like an outsider? I’ve never really given it much thought if I’m honest I’m just happy doing what I’m doing

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By *ost SockMan
17 weeks ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.

I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.

The two things I always say:

1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.

Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it

2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .

I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it.

What defines a good forum member?"

Well, there’s no absolute definition, for sure.

Off the top of my head, someone who makes interesting/supportive/funny/thought-provoking/well-argued posts and doesn’t take themselves too seriously.

There’s been plenty of those people down the years. I guess it’s the kind of person where you spot their username and get a little “ooo, it’s them, let’s see what they have to say” feeling .

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By *avexxMan
17 weeks ago

cheshire

yep outsider slowly beginning to work my way in

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By *ost SockMan
17 weeks ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"I’ve enjoyed the forums in my 13 years here.

I’ve never felt them to be very cliquey, it’s just that certain posters build up a strong presence from being good members of the forums over time. Are people drawn to interacting with people they know and like - sure, but that’s mostly natural.

The two things I always say:

1) On Fab, and generally, I’ve posted comments that are insightful/clever/hilarious etc…..not a peep in response. I’ve posted drivel that I’m ashamed to put my name to…. loads of replies.

Forums are weird things - just relax and don’t over-think it

2) The biggest clique is the “Fab is very cliquey” clique .

I’m being tongue-in-cheek here, but I think there is an element of truth to it.

What a load of shameful drivel."

Ha!

It can’t be drivel - it’s only had two responses.

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By *amantha_NiteTV/TS
17 weeks ago

The Lake District

Do you feel an outsider?

Absolutely i do.Both in forums and club visits

I visit clubs,on various events,Tgirl focused and mainstream swingers events.

I know Tgirls arent too everyone's taste or me personally but the recent visits,8 to 5 different venues have me feeling of walking away from everything,sadly,

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By *Silver-Man
17 weeks ago

Mold


"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think"

Your not a member of the clique forum gang mate, give it a few yrs lol

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By *929Man
17 weeks ago

newcastle

No as don’t care and have zero desire to belong I see how done can feel like that quite often a popular poster will start a topic that appears to be aimed at all but then only reply to the other popular posters replies

To balance there are other really nice posters who are very inclusive and interact with all hesitant to name as don’t want to forget to mention someone and feel a twat but there many of them

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By *ilthycouple24Couple
17 weeks ago

Glasgow


"I read the forums daily. Rarely comment and will be doing so less from now on. Why? Well the other day I commented on a thread and totally ignored. Someone else said practically the same thing - loads of responses. Enough said I think

Your not a member of the clique forum gang mate, give it a few yrs lol"

Funny thing is we been band on her for just creating posy about the cliqs

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By *ealitybitesMan
17 weeks ago

Belfast

Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
17 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I'm pretty ND and generally assume that I'm never really fitting in anywhere.

There are people I think of as friends on here that I'm obviously more likely to react to, and who are more likely to react to my posts.

I've been here pretty regularly for quite a while now. I'm probably known as a regular by people who think that way. But I often have posts go through the same tumbles as everyone else sees sometimes.

I think people often worry too much about how people perceive them and how much reaction they get. It's a swingers forum, and really not all that important in the grand scheme of things 💜

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
17 weeks ago

Coventry

I drop in the occasional comments, people respond or not. It's OK this is the huge Internet and my lone voice is not entitled to anything from anyone. Neither does anyone have a responsibility to include me.

As to cliques on here, I think most people see a few. Personally I'm totally OK with that (for the reasons mentioned above). People naturally gravitate to each other and find their people and that's OK.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
17 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders


"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality? "

Agree with this. I do believe there is a clique mentality, they do fill up threads with their own content, excluding others and rinse newbies, once one starts the usual sheep follows.

For those that deny there are cliques are usually part of it, of course they deny it because their experience and perception is going to be different from another people's experiences.

Obviously so because the clique thing keeps popping up and so many people keep saying it.....Who is anyone to negate that perception? Especially as so many have the same perception

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"

Tbf I was always 'one of those' at the back of the bus smoking

"

I walked or cycled to big school so did not mix with those on the bus.

Little school was cool, it was in the jungle, we made tree houses and swung on vines. I had a machete (to cut down saplings for our tree houses) - there were only 100 of us, most of us were really cool (and we are still in touch).

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By *parkle1974Woman
17 weeks ago

Leeds


"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality? "

For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.

I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
17 weeks ago

Herts


"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?

For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.

I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way."

Clique behaviour (and we all see it) is just a bit sad. Are they really so needy that coming on here for a circle jerk of tired, performative ‘flirting’ between themselves is necessary? The more I see it the more desperately dull it seems.

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By *stwo2023Couple
17 weeks ago

Worcester

I used to be very active on here under my singles profile but that's long been hidden and I pop up on here now and then.

I'm not on as much as I was and I do feel a little like an outsider at times but that's how social things go, even on the internet. People develop rapport and relationships and will often have their own little jokes and side chats etc.

There's also those who chased round after those they find attractive and are blind to anyone else trying to engage in conversation

I just use it as and when I feel like it so not bothered about cliques etc.

Evie

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *ensual_KarmaMan
17 weeks ago

London

[Removed by poster at 10/08/24 09:55:19]

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By *ensual_KarmaMan
17 weeks ago

London

Like cliques online as well as in life… just be true to yourself and you’ll be fine.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
17 weeks ago

North Worcestershire


"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?

For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.

I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way."

I notice this quite a lot.

Or when you post something and get little interaction or responses, yet these 'clique' people post a similar thread and boom... the chat explodes, then decends into as you say the regular chat of the group regulars, excluding those that don't feel 'in' with the group.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"Do you feel an outsider?"

I only got introduced to the Forum by LisaB45 (possibly UNLOS now) in my last incarnation.

Initially, I thought many of you were dicks (some of you still are), but I like the camaraderie.

I smile when I see some Forumites on here. I like the randomness. I enjoy taking the piss about a so called 'clique' - but you do have to recognise a load of you meet at socials and so now each other and therefore there can be in jokes and others may feel they are outsiders.

If I don't like threads I don't participate, and every so often I take time out on the naughty step cos I react to posts that are made.

I like to be sarcastic, I enjoy pratting around, I can be blocked by people who I actually like, but it's Fab and the Forum, and it's just a bit of fun, and if it gets too much I will go UNLOS and come back in a similar guise in a number of months (and start the whole slow journey of verification and making friends again).

(BTW I hate the use of the word 'journey' as I have just posted)

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *elboy1978Man
17 weeks ago

Fellgate

Yes I feel like an outsider but I think it’s harder for single men to find anyone on here but I am trying to work my way to the inside

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
17 weeks ago


"my last post should say 'know' and not 'now'"

TLDNR

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *parkle1974Woman
17 weeks ago

Leeds


"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?

For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.

I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way.

Clique behaviour (and we all see it) is just a bit sad. Are they really so needy that coming on here for a circle jerk of tired, performative ‘flirting’ between themselves is necessary? The more I see it the more desperately dull it seems. "

Agreed.

It's got to the point, when you see who starts a thread, you know exactly who's going to respond and how it's going to go

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *parkle1974Woman
17 weeks ago

Leeds


"Just out of curiosity I'd like someone to define exactly what the forum clique looks like to them.

I'm one of those who agrees that it does actually exist and many of those who vehemently deny that there is such a thing and claim people are confusing it with friendship groups are just reinforcing opinions rather than dispelling them.

I've been accused in the past of being part of the clique but I'm struggling to see how anyone could make that assumption.

I don't chat to any forum regulars at all, can count on one hand the number of forumites I've actually met and they are all in the Ireland forum moreso than the Lounge.

Anyone paying the slightest bit of attention to what I say here would know that I don't flirt on the forums, don't take over threads with in jokes and I certainly go against the grain in many threads with my opinions and experiences.

So for anyone out there who feels they fall foul of the cliques, what in your opinion are the criteria for being a member?

There are external chat groups linked to fab which are based around excluding others while pretending to be support groups and I know from experience some of those directly involved and as such can determine by forum threads and comments who else may be in their circle but for others is it just a feeling or is there anything specific that points towards a clique mentality?

For me it's when these so called "group friendships/clique" turn a thread into a conversation between just those people to the exclusion of others. They are certainly not as "welcoming" to others as they profess to be.

I've never understood why they don't take it to DM's but I guess it makes them seem relevant in some way.

I notice this quite a lot.

Or when you post something and get little interaction or responses, yet these 'clique' people post a similar thread and boom... the chat explodes, then decends into as you say the regular chat of the group regulars, excluding those that don't feel 'in' with the group. "

But we all know "there is no such thing as the clique"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *agerMorganMan
17 weeks ago

Canvey Island

I have felt like an outsider quite a few times. Of course, killing threads doesn’t help with that feeling either.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *all Guy 00Man
17 weeks ago

Dumfries

I feel like I shouldn't be here, hardly any replies, no meets in all time I've been here.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *_Mr.K_xMan
17 weeks ago

North Worcestershire


"But we all know "there is no such thing as the clique" "

Apples and oranges.

End of the day, everyone is here to be treated fairly and have fun.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *teveAndHisMagicPicklenicMan
17 weeks ago

Ends

I think the forums are a difficult place to navigate. Getting ignored is tough. But don’t mistake people posting consistently and being noticed with popularity or a clique. I don’t think there’s a clique. But yes there’s groups of friendships and yes it’s hard to get in with them when you’re new. But we’ve all been new and we’ve all been ignored. It gets more welcoming. Just keep posting.

The forums are a great place to be when you’re escaping your real world for a moment and to have fun. Don’t take them all that seriously. Even I struggle with that advice but it’s true.

Anyway, it’s going to be fucking hot this weekend. Get naked and enjoy.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *S chanel demarTV/TS
17 weeks ago

peterborough

Many trans do, not just here, but also in the real world......makes us tougher though

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