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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

How do women go from vanilla to kinky with ‘ gaining confidence’ i talked to a girl I know about this in person and would obviously like to help her for 3somes etc baring in mind she’s attractive! But doesn’t feel confident sexually

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex

Does she want to?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

Yes she is but she’s vanilla to begin with and I think isn’t ready?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
17 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Yes she is but she’s vanilla to begin with and I think isn’t ready? "

Without any information at all I'd say that all you can do is openly discuss what she thinks she'd like to try eventually.

There's nothing wrong with vanilla (I really dislike the word used to describe people's sex life) I hope she knows that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

That’s her term just trying to get her out of her shell she wants to do it so but thankyou

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
17 weeks ago

Markfield

Are you two already sexual partners?

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By *vaRose43Woman
17 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

1. Has she said she wants to?

2. Has she asked you to help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

Yeah

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By *olfandtazCouple
17 weeks ago

Bristol


"1. Has she said she wants to?

2. Has she asked you to help?

"

This!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

Yes she has to both

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By *olfandtazCouple
17 weeks ago

Bristol

Experiment with dildos, you can do alot of threesome things if you get creative with one. See if she enjoys that first

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

Thanks for the advice

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By *he KakapoMan
17 weeks ago

A nice rock

Vanilla isn't an actual set status..

Treat her like an actual person and not a character you need to upgrade..

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By *vaRose43Woman
17 weeks ago

Forest of Dean

The simple answer is with trust.

If you two have already built a trusting sexual relationship then experimenting becomes much easier

Start simple….

Discuss everything you want to try and then talk about it again before your next get together. Respect every limit she has in place, be cautious and set up safeguards so if she wants to stop or dial it back she has the confidence to do so immediately. This is really where mutual trust comes in.

Go lingerie shopping together and maybe ask her to choose something that she’s always wanted to wear but never had the guts to try…. And by god make sure you make her feel like a goddess for being vulnerable wearing it the first time.

Blindfolds (adding in headphones later) give an added edge

Introduce toys. You can both express fantasies while engaging with dildos or vibes for 3sum feels

Bondage requires even more trust, and impact even more. Don’t even think about introducing this until she says she’s ready.

Keep it sensual and focussed on meeting her wants and needs until she says she wants to try another thing. Guide her cautiously and don’t be afraid to limit the experimentation if you think she’s trying too much at once (sometimes we all get a bit giddy like a kid in a sweet shop).

Enjoy yourselves, and don’t be afraid to ask a mentor for safety sake if you don’t feel (or indeed know you’re not) experienced in something that has some serious safety concerns

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
17 weeks ago

What an answer! Thanks for that I appreciate it a lot

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By *C44Man
17 weeks ago

Newbourne


"Vanilla isn't an actual set status..

Treat her like an actual person and not a character you need to upgrade..

"

That's very well worded

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