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How rigid is your thinking?

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I was listening to something interesting about it, it was about how there are different way of thinking, not just the one. It would be interesting to see how rigid your mind is and how easy it is for you to accept other and new views.

I agree with what he said that we have to have an open mind, because having a close mind is not that good, because when people say new things to you, you would just dismiss it out of hand or if it goes against your normal way of thinking, the way that you have been brought up straight away.

He added an interesting thing about when we were brought up through school and university, what then seem to be an authoritarian way of looking at the world, this way, this is the only way, which wasnt good that either.

Another good example is the flat earth or the spherical earth argument, is it this or that, but what if there was a 3rd way of looking at things, or is it just 2 ways, this way or that way? Sometimes you have to remove yourself from that argument could we be mislead here?

What is your view about all this with open and close mind, which one do you have? I have an open mind. I think that having an open mind is absolutely essential, because then you can look at things in a different way, it also means that you are open to change your own mind, sure you can listen to what they have to say, but it doesnt mean you have to agree with them, at least you have listened to them to hear their point of view too

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By *iker JackMan
16 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

As judge Judy said you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen twice as much as you speak

That said I am quite “black and white”. Life circumstances have made me that way and I understand the frustration of not for others but also for myself

Over the last 10 years it is so much better though. I listen. Don’t always agree. But educate me on your point of views

We forget that we don’t all have to agree. It’s what makes us individuals and people. I need opposing thoughts in my life to help me learn and to continue to grow

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By *rHotNottsMan
16 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Good to see you indulging in something not narc related

I could talk for hours on this, I used to assess thinking types of internal high performers.

I think the fixed vs growth mindset comes down to whether you truly believe you can learn to do / achieve pretty much anything or that others are naturally gifted in a way you aren’t (physical limitations aside). The science is pretty definitive on this now, but fear makes it hard to accept.

Curiosity and risk taking drives learning and growth mindset , it’s the workouts of the brain and the opposite of boredom & procrastination. The only lesson you need in this comes from babies and children. They learn and develop at a phenomenal pace as they have a growth mindset and are curious!

Now personally or spiritually there’s another side to this - absolute truth. That’s where it gets complicated

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By *till gameMan
16 weeks ago

two doors down

One example of rigid thinking is religion, you can clearly see the problems that has brought through history to the present day

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By *rHotNottsMan
16 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"One example of rigid thinking is religion, you can clearly see the problems that has brought through history to the present day"

I think dogma is a better word for it. Many religions actively promote curiosity, questioning and testing of your faith. Similar to science, and you also find dogma within elements of the scientific community.

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By *a LunaWoman
16 weeks ago

South Wales

My rigidity of thinking varies by topic. I'm open to listening - at least that's what I tell myself!

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
16 weeks ago

Essex

I love this subject too. I talk quite a lot about it when I do autism training. You don’t always have to be just rigid or open minded. Flexibility of thought (or lack thereof) can be an issue. But it’s not a case of all people on the spectrum are always rigid thinking. But when we are….

I’m in the spectrum and I’m very very curious minded, flexible and love new things to learn and immerse myself in. But the occasional thing I am so rigid in, and those things seem quite silly and inconsequential to most.

Eg. Up until recently (and after a LOT of work) I would literally just drive in a circle for an hour rather than turn off a “confused” SatNav as I’d been told I must use the van sat nav as it’s set up the the height/weight/length specs. I was so focused on not getting stuck under a low bridge etc, I could not contemplate that I can also read road signs etc.

It’s quite fascinating how brains are wired.

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By *an1978Woman
16 weeks ago

GONE/TIMEOUT (No DMs please)

I was lucky in school, we had a teacher that would have us discuss our opinions on topics, and choose a side.

Then they assigned us to debate in favour of the thing we opposed.

A simple excersise in researching why the other side believes what they do, it stuck with me for life.

I'm always willing to look at a different viewpoint. I'm actively curious about what people stand for.

(More likely a lesson in politics and going against your beliefs to win... ) but all the same it has a positive effect on me.

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By *hilledguy2020Man
16 weeks ago

Gateshead

My thinking is always rigid!!

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By *weetCherryWoman
16 weeks ago

London


"I love this subject too. I talk quite a lot about it when I do autism training. You don’t always have to be just rigid or open minded. Flexibility of thought (or lack thereof) can be an issue. But it’s not a case of all people on the spectrum are always rigid thinking. But when we are….

I’m in the spectrum and I’m very very curious minded, flexible and love new things to learn and immerse myself in. But the occasional thing I am so rigid in, and those things seem quite silly and inconsequential to most.

Eg. Up until recently (and after a LOT of work) I would literally just drive in a circle for an hour rather than turn off a “confused” SatNav as I’d been told I must use the van sat nav as it’s set up the the height/weight/length specs. I was so focused on not getting stuck under a low bridge etc, I could not contemplate that I can also read road signs etc.

It’s quite fascinating how brains are wired."

I second this, being AuDHD has opened a new world of explanations.

I am quite flexible in terms of beliefs and opinions, however pretty rigid on rules, policies and guidelines, all of which make me excellent at my job

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
16 weeks ago

East Sussex

I try to be open minded but I know I'm not all the time. I try to see all sides of an argument or understand why people hold the opinions that they do but I'm not always successful.

🤷‍♀️

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By *ell GwynnWoman
16 weeks ago

North Yorkshire


"I love this subject too. I talk quite a lot about it when I do autism training. You don’t always have to be just rigid or open minded. Flexibility of thought (or lack thereof) can be an issue. But it’s not a case of all people on the spectrum are always rigid thinking. But when we are….

I’m in the spectrum and I’m very very curious minded, flexible and love new things to learn and immerse myself in. But the occasional thing I am so rigid in, and those things seem quite silly and inconsequential to most.

Eg. Up until recently (and after a LOT of work) I would literally just drive in a circle for an hour rather than turn off a “confused” SatNav as I’d been told I must use the van sat nav as it’s set up the the height/weight/length specs. I was so focused on not getting stuck under a low bridge etc, I could not contemplate that I can also read road signs etc.

It’s quite fascinating how brains are wired."

I find this so fascinating. I have a bit of a bee in my bonnet about the various traits us autistic folk are supposed to exhibit (don't get me started on empathy!), courtesy of Simon Baron-Cohen, and this is one of them.

I've got a super curious mind, as do many of the autistic people I know. That desire to learn and understand is powerful and exhilarating. I try not to judge and be open-minded about people, their actions, and how their history has led to them making the choices they've made.

"Rigid thinking" manifests in my need for a loose routine, a bit of predictability.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
16 weeks ago

Central

I like flexibility but guess that I'm more rigid as I age. I do love to learn and I'll listen a lot.

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By *ellhungvweMan
16 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"I was lucky in school, we had a teacher that would have us discuss our opinions on topics, and choose a side.

Then they assigned us to debate in favour of the thing we opposed.

A simple excersise in researching why the other side believes what they do, it stuck with me for life.

I'm always willing to look at a different viewpoint. I'm actively curious about what people stand for.

(More likely a lesson in politics and going against your beliefs to win... ) but all the same it has a positive effect on me.

"

I think this is a very useful approach. You don’t really know something _properly_ unless you can argue against it better than your opponents can. To do that you need to understand their position better than them as well. You were lucky to have a teacher like that.

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By *allipygousMan
16 weeks ago

Leicester

Having intelligent children can make you reassess the way you think, depending on what type of relationship you have with them.

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By *cotsguyyMan
16 weeks ago

Belfast

To paraphrase a radio chat show host, no point in having a mind if you can't change it.

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By *ripfillMan
16 weeks ago

havant

It’s important to have rational thought and being able to change it as environment and personal circumstances change.

As one contributor suggested having grown up kinds can help change your perspective on life too because you should be able to talk and trust them

I never thought in a million years I could be one grumpy old git ( actually about to take an exam in it ) lol

🤫🤪

Change can be good 😊

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 07/08/24 12:34:31]

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By *he KakapoMan
16 weeks ago

A nice rock

Sometimes I find it easy to listen to someone else's point of view...

Sometimes it takes work.

Sometimes I catch myself disregarding someone else's view for petty reasons.

It's an ongoing process but one I do try and work on in those times I'm selfaware enough to catch it

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"As judge Judy said you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Listen twice as much as you speak

That said I am quite “black and white”. Life circumstances have made me that way and I understand the frustration of not for others but also for myself

Over the last 10 years it is so much better though. I listen. Don’t always agree. But educate me on your point of views

We forget that we don’t all have to agree. It’s what makes us individuals and people. I need opposing thoughts in my life to help me learn and to continue to grow "
That is good you listen, yes, we forget that we dont have to agree, as it is what makes us individuals too

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By *MisschiefxTV/TS
16 weeks ago

London

Most people will say they're not rigid thinking and then only agree with things that confirm what they already think about something.

Being able to genuinely consider different perspectives is very very rare.

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By *iberius61Man
16 weeks ago

Pontefract


"...Another good example is the flat earth or the spherical earth argument, is it this or that..."

Einstein introduced the concept of the observer. From the perception of a walker, cyclist, or coastal sailor. The earth is flat. But an astronaut, or an ocean sailor can't use that perspective.

Everyone is aware of that, but problems occur when a simplified version of something is assumed to be the only viewpoint. Take gender, we teach schoolchildren that XX = female, XY = male. It kinda works as a simplification, but it's basically wrong.

Most science is 'wrong' at some level. Newton's basic laws of motion are 'wrong'. The best bit is, he knew they were wrong, but in most cases they worked. Even Einstein's improvements, while they fixed the issues that Newton new about, are also wrong. We don't live in a reletavistic universe, we live in a quantum one. But his equations are 'accurate enough' for most uses.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"My rigidity of thinking varies by topic. I'm open to listening - at least that's what I tell myself! "
Hi luna, yes, that is good you are open to listening too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"Good to see you indulging in something not narc related

I could talk for hours on this, I used to assess thinking types of internal high performers.

I think the fixed vs growth mindset comes down to whether you truly believe you can learn to do / achieve pretty much anything or that others are naturally gifted in a way you aren’t (physical limitations aside). The science is pretty definitive on this now, but fear makes it hard to accept.

Curiosity and risk taking drives learning and growth mindset , it’s the workouts of the brain and the opposite of boredom & procrastination. The only lesson you need in this comes from babies and children. They learn and develop at a phenomenal pace as they have a growth mindset and are curious!

Now personally or spiritually there’s another side to this - absolute truth. That’s where it gets complicated

"
That is good you used to assess it, yes, it comes down to that too

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By *hrista BellendWoman
16 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I'm quite rigid in my views, happy to listen and understand others views, but I don't have to agree with them in order to be friends with them

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By (user no longer on site)
16 weeks ago

I think it depends on the topic, and who I’m perhaps discussing something with.

There’s topics I’m rigid in thinking about, others I may be mailable in my thinking. I am willing to be listen to differences of opinions, views without being broad minded. I don’t need to agree with someone to listen to them.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I try to be open minded but I know I'm not all the time. I try to see all sides of an argument or understand why people hold the opinions that they do but I'm not always successful.

🤷‍♀️"
That is good you try to be open minded too

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By *rBrightside76Man
16 weeks ago

Romford

nowadays you have to examine all the information you receive, so much disinformation about. But a lot of the time you have to try and look at a situation from anothers points of view, whats their life experience compared to you. On here everyone is open minded , but then there are a lot of people out there who think the activities people on her partake in are not things you whould be doing.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
16 weeks ago

Colchester

Rigid in the way I personally approach things for myself. This is based on knowing where my comfort zone is, what brings me peace, and where I feel centred and content. So the things in that zone are non-negotiable for me, and I have found my place amongst them. These are things I speak with conviction.

.

Things outside that zone are a curiosity to me. I want to know more about them, so I can arrive at a decision on whether it is meritorious to "bring them in to the zone", or discount them.

.

The difficulty is, when other present new ideas to me, perhaps in a single sentence, 7 or 8 other thoughts are immediately popping in to my head about those ideas, and each is cross-referenced with personal experience of that idea, or knowledge read about it. By the time the last few words roll of their tongue, I've already arrived at a "holding point and conclusion" with regards to my own personal feelings on the idea or opinion.

Their next sentence needs to be of considerable value and merit, and test my position. If it does, I'll adjust my position more favourably, but if not my position will harden.

I do admit a certain bias, in that if their opinion is non-harmful, tolerant, inclusive, and equitable for all, I am more disposed to listen favourably. If it's the opposite, and thus counter to my personal views, it needs a compelling argument to pass though my internal filters.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
16 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I'm quite rigid in my views, happy to listen and understand others views, but I don't have to agree with them in order to be friends with them "
That is good you are happy to listen, yes, you dont have agree with them

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By *ealitybitesMan
16 weeks ago

Belfast

I'm quite rigid in my views on things I have personally experienced but not so much on things I have no experience of.

I have had my views challenged at times by people who have picked up their own views from a book or a social media post or even a peer reviewed paper that they believe to be true.

I don't back down when that happens because I was there and know those articles to be political fabrication.

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By *ealitybitesMan
16 weeks ago

Belfast

I'm also rigid in not having a view on something.

There are many topics that have no relevance in my life at all and therefore I haven't given them any thought or formed an opinion on them.

That includes subjects that are often raised on fab.

I have no time for those who tell me that I must educate myself on these matters and by not doing so I am part of the problem.

Ignorance is bliss is a phrase often thrown around here by those who don't seem to understand why the world doesn't revolve around them.

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By *had_ThunderCockMan
16 weeks ago

a place somewhat adjacent to you…

I have a few things on this.

I’m always happy to change my thoughts and opinions on anything, with learning new things or on the emergence of new data.

I always have a an attitude that others know more than me, so listen and process before speaking. In my line of work, it’s often true and important.

Right now I’m learning so much, in many disciplines that I can never consider myself finished or complete. I feel vulnerable (in good ways) to the opportunity of learning more and being exposed to new thoughts and ideas.

Im comfortable being wrong or failing, where I l have an opportunity to learn, apply learning, actually it has genuinely been what has brought about great personal success for me.

Chad ThunderCock🍻🍺

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
13 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I love this subject too. I talk quite a lot about it when I do autism training. You don’t always have to be just rigid or open minded. Flexibility of thought (or lack thereof) can be an issue. But it’s not a case of all people on the spectrum are always rigid thinking. But when we are….

I’m in the spectrum and I’m very very curious minded, flexible and love new things to learn and immerse myself in. But the occasional thing I am so rigid in, and those things seem quite silly and inconsequential to most.

Eg. Up until recently (and after a LOT of work) I would literally just drive in a circle for an hour rather than turn off a “confused” SatNav as I’d been told I must use the van sat nav as it’s set up the the height/weight/length specs. I was so focused on not getting stuck under a low bridge etc, I could not contemplate that I can also read road signs etc.

It’s quite fascinating how brains are wired."
That is good you also love this subject, yes, one doesnt always have to be rigid or open minded. I see, being curious minded is good too

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
13 weeks ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Conspiracy wallahs during lockdown showed me that for some, they'd never let a fact get in the way of an opinion

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