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Getting your needs met

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By *wist my nipples OP   Couple
26 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

How do you get your needs met? Could be emotionally, sexually, physically, spiritually…

Is it something you recognise and prioritise or do you put yourself last, consciously or unconsciously?

How have you managed to change your situation if you’ve felt your needs aren’t being met?

It’s a huge topic. I’d love to read people’s thoughts.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Honestly? It's probably not something I bring up a lot to others because I almost don't want to inconvenience them if they have to put an active effort into my needs being met. That could be sexually, at work, or with family and it's led to issues with not feeling like I'm important enough for them to consider. It's almost a bit of a martyr complex if anything that I need to get rid of and just find a way to openly communicate what I what and how it can be met without feeling guilty about it.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
26 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I speak up!

It's something I've had to learn to do as an adult as I wasn't allowed to have needs as a child. Directness is my natural way, but it was suppressed by others. Learning to recognise that I have needs and effectively communicate them has been the most personally beneficial thing I've ever done. It just comes naturally now.

I really appreciate the same forthrightness in others, too. Being autistic and not easily reading people, not having the ability to anticipate their needs, means non-verbal communication is hard and tiring. I was born into the wrong culture, really. If only I was German

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
26 weeks ago

Central

I like to have a razor sharp focus on what I know to that I need. I'd typically devise a plan and monitor it. If I need others, I'll bring them in and negotiate, if needed. I tend to put off going to the shops if possible, as I hate it

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By *ayRyuMan
26 weeks ago

Harrogate


"I speak up!

It's something I've had to learn to do as an adult as I wasn't allowed to have needs as a child. Directness is my natural way, but it was suppressed by others. Learning to recognise that I have needs and effectively communicate them has been the most personally beneficial thing I've ever done. It just comes naturally now.

I really appreciate the same forthrightness in others, too. Being autistic and not easily reading people, not having the ability to anticipate their needs, means non-verbal communication is hard and tiring. I was born into the wrong culture, really. If only I was German "

Couldn't agree more.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
26 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I used to ignore my needs and just focus on making sure I wasn't inconveniencing anyone.

That was a fucking miserable way to live.

Now, I'm very open and vocal about the things I need. I actively encourage my partners to do the same. I'd rather deal with inconvenient truths to fix than rest easy in convenient lies while the foundations silently rot beneath us💜

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By *ozzybear1981Man
26 weeks ago

preston

Communication is key, it means that each know where they stand and what they desire.

If that’s done then both have exactly what they crave

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Emotionally my needs are finally have been meet as I now live alone and can go 4 to 5 days with out seeing or taking to anyone.

Sexually I am finding it hard and hard to get my needs across. I say exactly what I enjoy over and over again and most men really don't get it.

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By *affron40Woman
26 weeks ago

manchester

I was very poorly several years ago and it took a long time to find my base happiness. I’ve realised that getting my needs met starts with me.

I have a close family and small circle of friends and I’m very clear on my boundaries and my needs. But those needs are very low. I realised my needs are largely within me.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
26 weeks ago

Reading

This is why the enm lifestyle works so well for me. I can have different people meeting different needs.

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By *rHotNottsMan
26 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I like a little time early each morning to reflect , contemplate, meditate or pray. I use a calendar to plan time with people/relationships and solo adventures. I always do 15-20 mins Sunday night, plan the week ahead. All are priorities to being happy and staying sane. Sex just happens in the gaps!

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By *wist my nipples OP   Couple
26 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"Honestly? It's probably not something I bring up a lot to others because I almost don't want to inconvenience them if they have to put an active effort into my needs being met. That could be sexually, at work, or with family and it's led to issues with not feeling like I'm important enough for them to consider. It's almost a bit of a martyr complex if anything that I need to get rid of and just find a way to openly communicate what I what and how it can be met without feeling guilty about it."

Oh Joe. That sounds like bit of a vicious circle

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By *naswingdressWoman
26 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I have a vicious burnout cycle. Probably because I was diagnosed late with autism. I try to make up for my uneven habits of tending to my obligations by hyper focusing on them when I have hyperfocus. I also ignore all my internal cues because I've had a lifetime of it not being safe to listen to myself.

I'm a liability 😂

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By *wist my nipples OP   Couple
26 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I speak up!

It's something I've had to learn to do as an adult as I wasn't allowed to have needs as a child. Directness is my natural way, but it was suppressed by others. Learning to recognise that I have needs and effectively communicate them has been the most personally beneficial thing I've ever done. It just comes naturally now.

I really appreciate the same forthrightness in others, too. Being autistic and not easily reading people, not having the ability to anticipate their needs, means non-verbal communication is hard and tiring. I was born into the wrong culture, really. If only I was German "

This sounds very similar to me. I’m trying to be more direct. It’s not always easy, though, particularly when I have competing demands at home. Sometimes I know what I need but my children’s needs mean I can’t.

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By *ags73Man
26 weeks ago

glasgow-ish


"How do you get your needs met? Could be emotionally, sexually, physically, spiritually…

Is it something you recognise and prioritise or do you put yourself last, consciously or unconsciously?

How have you managed to change your situation if you’ve felt your needs aren’t being met?

It’s a huge topic. I’d love to read people’s thoughts.

Mrs TMN x"

I’m struggling with this right now- was away myself with the kids and dog on holiday and back and looks like that’s me until school holidays finish.

I’d like some female company, friends, someone to message/chat I guess as much as dirty pics and talk and things like that.

In a lot of ways I’m good at putting aside my own needs and wants as kids come first and I’m the only parent, so it’s instinct and you just have to, there’s no one else and that’s it’s.

Me time is at a premium and it’s sometimes indulging myself by going on here and stealing a minute or two but I would like to be better at meeting my needs in terms of adult company and some stimulation/flirting/fun

In terms of intellectually and spiritually I’m not so bad at finding things but just in terms of that company and doing something to feel less lonely

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
26 weeks ago

Manchester

Very badly. I've learnt to with work as it severely affected my mental health years ago but in other departments, I don't.

I think it's been aggravated when I became a mother. You feel like you always have to put others first. As said before, I need to plan my time to fit things in.

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By *wist my nipples OP   Couple
26 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I'd rather deal with inconvenient truths to fix than rest easy in convenient lies while the foundations silently rot beneath us💜 "

Can I get this on a t-shirt, please? ❤️

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By *ansoffateMan
26 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I try to have conversations about needs with partners, I think it's really useful and reassuring.

Honestly, I am not the best at coping with partners who are consistently inconsiderate of my needs though. It's quite a challenge for me to verbalise, especially if they have a confrontational demeanoir. If it's a 'serious' relationship I need partners who hear and empathise as well express and assert.

It's probably the biggest reason why relationships may fail or rupture for me.

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By *wist my nipples OP   Couple
26 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"I was very poorly several years ago and it took a long time to find my base happiness. I’ve realised that getting my needs met starts with me.

I have a close family and small circle of friends and I’m very clear on my boundaries and my needs. But those needs are very low. I realised my needs are largely within me. "

I’m glad you’re doing better Saff. This rings true for me too - without looking at myself first I’ve no chance. Nobody else can read my mind and if I expect them to I’m setting myself up for disappointment.

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
26 weeks ago

Ends

Eurgh. So long.

Basically communicate.

I communicate with friends and partners and family what needs I have. It’s taken me a lot to get here but I’ve got here. And I’m not perfect but yeah. I am trying harder to prioritise people that meet my needs and that more importantly, want to meet my needs. It’s easy for me to stick to relationships that are damaging and that hurt me. I’m in a sense used to certain types of relationships. But I am prioritising finding things that bring me joy and people that bring me joy. The hardest part of that? Accepting that you deserve that.

I’m waffling here but I guess yeah, how do I get my needs met? I communicate those needs to people I hope to fulfil them. And these days, I don’t want to continue to give people chances. There’s a world out there, full of possibilities and full of people that will respect your worth and treat you well.

🫶🏾

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By *weetCherryWoman
26 weeks ago

London


"Eurgh. So long.

Basically communicate.

I communicate with friends and partners and family what needs I have. It’s taken me a lot to get here but I’ve got here. And I’m not perfect but yeah. I am trying harder to prioritise people that meet my needs and that more importantly, want to meet my needs. It’s easy for me to stick to relationships that are damaging and that hurt me. I’m in a sense used to certain types of relationships. But I am prioritising finding things that bring me joy and people that bring me joy. The hardest part of that? Accepting that you deserve that.

I’m waffling here but I guess yeah, how do I get my needs met? I communicate those needs to people I hope to fulfil them. And these days, I don’t want to continue to give people chances. There’s a world out there, full of possibilities and full of people that will respect your worth and treat you well.

🫶🏾"

So much this

We love ya Pickle

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