FabSwingers.com forum: Cheating women

By (user no longer on site) OP
27 weeks ago

Hey, so not looking to judge, but I'm keen to understand what makes a woman (or man I guess) cheat?

I've always assumed it must be due to lack of sex/play at home, but I'm thinking now that may be over simplified.

Anyone got a view on this or happy to share their reasons? (Privatly if you wish).

Im intrigues as I've been reading a lot about desire revently, so it just got me thinking...

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By *eordieJeansCouple
27 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

There’s no one size fits all answer. Each individual will have their own reasons.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
27 weeks ago

Leeds

Selfishness

Mrs

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
27 weeks ago

Carlisle

"Hey, so not looking to judge, but I'm keen to understand what makes a woman (or man I guess) cheat?

I've always assumed it must be due to lack of sex/play at home, but I'm thinking now that may be over simplified.

Anyone got a view on this or happy to share their reasons? (Privatly if you wish).

Im intrigues as I've been reading a lot about desire revently, so it just got me thinking...

Cowardess

Speaking from experience.

I was in a marriage. It wasn't good. I had a MAJOR operation, it got worse. I wanted to leave but was afraid of my ability to work and provide for my kids as a single parent and was concerned for him as I didn't know how he'd do without the family unit.

After a bit I felt I needed affection. He was very anti kink and we hadn't had sex for a few years. I explored and was finding myself. Then I strayed.

A series of events have occured, I'm now an ex wife (or very soon will be when the paperwork comes through), the work situation is very part time due to consequences of the op, but I am doing it.

I should have left earlier, I should have had the guts to do it.

Plus he is ok, a couple of weeks after it all exploded he got a new g/f so even he was ready to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

I don't think there's a simple answer to this as I suspect many factors such as upbringing, personal values, circumstances, etc all play a part as does desire, libido and opportunity.

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By *arley QuimWoman
27 weeks ago

Somewhere

Someone feels they aren't getting a need met. Someone else offers the opportunity to meet that need? 🤔

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

I kind of cheated as we only play together but J had given me permission to flirt with our aircon engineer with a view to playing as a threesome but the messages and trading of photos went a bit too far

I meant to tell J but found it difficult to say anything after a week or so of messaging without telling

It all got a bit intense and it was quite exciting and exhilarating at the time so it just continued for around two months

We always do everything together now even when sexting with another guy

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By *cLovin2Man
27 weeks ago

Reading

Some people do it because they are unhappy, and can't find a way out of their situation. Others do it because they care little about the consequences, and will find a way to justify it.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
27 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

The State of Affairs by Esther Perel is a really interesting book about infidelity.

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By *4bimMan
27 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

People fall out of love.

Pressures of working different shifts to pay mortgage so you see less of each other etc.

Some need a release and seek it here and other places when partner is working.

One thing I will say is I know married women who meet guys when hubby is at work.

One of them said I'd never tell him because I love him, but he's never here and I have needs.

Not forgiving that but I see why sometimes

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By *usty kayCouple
27 weeks ago

Burnham

Delusion.

Believing its just sex that's missing but you're still in love. If you can just replace the sex everything will be fine.

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By *parkle1974Woman
27 weeks ago

Leeds

Because they have no consideration for others x

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
27 weeks ago

Birmingham

It's not always a lack of sex. And I don't think it means someone has fallen out of love. I guess sometimes people do shitty things. I think ultimately it boils down to them not being happy and fulfilled in some aspect of their relationship but you could name a thousand different reasons for that.

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By *erfHerder74Man
27 weeks ago

Inverclyde

I think it’s slack of intimacy that they think is sex that’s missing and go and build up their verification list and still wonder why they aren’t happy.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
27 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

There really isn’t a one size fits all answer to this OP. Would be nice if there was and they wore a big red flag out of the top of their head but sadly not 👍🏻

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By *andstorm 1Couple
27 weeks ago

Hereford

"It's not always a lack of sex. And I don't think it means someone has fallen out of love. I guess sometimes people do shitty things. I think ultimately it boils down to them not being happy and fulfilled in some aspect of their relationship but you could name a thousand different reasons for that."

Quite agree with your sentiments

N xxx

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By *andstorm 1Couple
27 weeks ago

Hereford

"There really isn’t a one size fits all answer to this OP. Would be nice if there was and they wore a big red flag out of the top of their head but sadly not 👍🏻"

Very much agree with this statement

Cheating was the catalyst that brought us to swinging

And having just celebrated our 41st anniversary

I’d say we are still very much in love

N xxxx

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By *rishVikingMan
27 weeks ago

Shankill

Keeping an eye on this

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By *igsaw93Woman
27 weeks ago

Glasgow

Esther Perel writes really well on this.

Jigs x

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By *ittlebirdWoman
27 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"There really isn’t a one size fits all answer to this OP. Would be nice if there was and they wore a big red flag out of the top of their head but sadly not 👍🏻

Very much agree with this statement

Cheating was the catalyst that brought us to swinging

And having just celebrated our 41st anniversary

I’d say we are still very much in love

N xxxx"

Glad to hear it ♥️

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By *andstorm 1Couple
27 weeks ago

Hereford

"Esther Perel writes really well on this.

Jigs x "

Is it a book Katie could take on holiday to read???

Just imagining the looks from others around the pool??

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
27 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I did it once.

I was 17. I was checked out of my relationship and didn't know how to end it. Sleeping with someone else gave me the secure knowledge that the relationship was dead and I broke up with him the next day. Badly, granted, I did not know how to empathise and make it a less shitty experience for him at that point. But at least I did it.

It also made me feel fucking awful and I haven't done it since 💜

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By *ickleTheWonderSchlongMan
27 weeks ago

Ends

Who cares why they cheat?

Cheating is cheating

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By *ouplecu2015Couple
27 weeks ago

Reading

a while ago my wife cheated

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By *issmorganWoman
27 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Some do it because they're not getting sex at home, some do it because they're greedy & like sex with people other than their partner.

For others it'll be because they've been given an opportunity to cheat or they want to be found out because they are unhappy.

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By *affron40Woman
27 weeks ago

manchester

I’ve no idea why people do it. It’s not something I could do or be around.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
27 weeks ago

Kidsgrove

Revenge, childhood trauma, boredom, low self esteem, confidence boost, lonely within the marriage, addiction to risk...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
27 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

There isn't a toilet roll long enough to write all the different reasons on ..

People are complex creatures

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By *he KakapoMan
27 weeks ago

A nice rock

Iron deficiency, neighbours lenos reminds them of a pretty snake they once had as a childhood pet, easiest way to borrow some sugar

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By *oldAndBoundlessMan
27 weeks ago

Bradford

Cards on the table, me myself I am a very horny little man, when I was in my last relationship and probably the one before I was prolific with it, and I couldn’t even tell you why? If I passed a woman I thought beautiful or sexy I wouldn’t give a second thought of flirting with her, and many of the times I would end up with her number and cheating on my current partner, but I can say when I was with another partner a few years ago I never looked the other way at all, maybe in that relationship I was completely happy in all aspects of it, or maybe the way it ended is why I’m like I was I don’t know

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
27 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Who knows why, so many variables and reasons, leads to a person deciding to cheat

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By *ig1gaz1Man
27 weeks ago

bradford

Theres loads of things that can cause cheating.

not seeing partner because there working too much.

always on there own is a big one

lack of sex/play at home is talk with your partner if you cant talk it out dont cheat but split up.

i know some wont agree with the last one but if its getting to a long time without and your not talking then your heading for it anyway

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By *andC1000Couple
26 weeks ago

Ashford

"Because they have no consideration for others x"

Often true, no care for what they might take home just to get their thrills.

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By *igsaw93Woman
25 weeks ago

Glasgow

"Esther Perel writes really well on this.

Jigs x

Is it a book Katie could take on holiday to read???

Just imagining the looks from others around the pool??"

Absolutely. Shows self awareness and education.

Jigs x

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
25 weeks ago

somewhere

I'm always open and honest about this subject, I have cheated, first time with when I was married to my first husband, when I reached the age of 30 I had a heavy year of being friends with the wrong people, drinking very very heavily and just ended up seeing someone else, my ex husband (we didn't split because of it) said to me when it all came out "if you hadn't, I would have" we were absolutely stuck in a rut, 3 kids under I think about 8, money worries, absolutely no social life with each other, none of it makes it right but they were the contributioning factors that led to it.

Second time, it wasn't so much cheating as I had permission, I just didn't tell the truth where I was or who I was with, so yes still comes under cheating, I was swept up in him, I was obsessed really and I was questioning everything about my current relationship, since then we took a break, we re-evaluated our life, hence why I'm in retirement, I've been through trauma counselling, so has the other half, yes I'm still here but I've made the decision not to meet men anymore as I have attachment issues, Rubik hasn't once asked me to stop but it took me along time to realise where my heart is and despite my history, I'm just glad Rubik can see the work I've put in to save us, him and myself.

Sorry if I have offended anyone with my truth x

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By *ools1964Man
25 weeks ago

Swadlincote

Humans are not naturally monogamous, it's in pur nature to spread our genes far & wide, it doesn't only apply to men either, females are similarly programmed to mate with different males, monogamy is a social constraint.

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