FabSwingers.com forum: Badly explain your job.

By *asterMeliodas OP Man
29 weeks ago

Newmill

I hit squares with squiggly symbols on them until a machine does what I want.

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By *veryday_Couple_NextdoorCouple
29 weeks ago

Bristol

T dresses like a tree and shoots his load into the butt. G helps people who used to dress like trees

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By *acrobMan
29 weeks ago

South Worcestershire

I make everybody do things they don’t want to often through complex, planned out and written down evidenced manipulation.

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By *airyScot40Man
29 weeks ago

Glasgow

I arrange electrons in patterns that make everyone’s life easier. Or more difficult.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
29 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I allow life-forms I like to exist and destroy the ones I don't.

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
29 weeks ago

Newmill

"I allow life-forms I like to exist and destroy the ones I don't."

Remind me never to get on your bad side.

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By *naswingdressWoman
29 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I write, talk to myself on the basis of my writing, and fix other people's failings.

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By *ucsherMan
29 weeks ago

Stevenage/Uxbridge

I sort minces!

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
29 weeks ago

kent

I conjure worlds and capture souls Xx

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By *hilloutMan
29 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Physiological maintenance work.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
29 weeks ago

Southampton

"I hit squares with squiggly symbols on them until a machine does what I want."

Machine operator

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By *amescoupleCouple
29 weeks ago

north walsham

I dismember animals.

C confuses people in big shops by hiding the things they want elsewhere.

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By *urry BlokeMan
29 weeks ago

Stalybridge

I have the things you need to keep your retail, hospitality or care business running to its full potential

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I come home every day covered in black rubber marks

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I ensure other people connect other people to the outside world

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
29 weeks ago

Newmill

"I hit squares with squiggly symbols on them until a machine does what I want.

Machine operator "

Freelance programmer.

I mainly do game development at the moment.

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By *appyChap91Man
29 weeks ago

Hull

professional computer toucher

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By *liza_13Woman
29 weeks ago

Hamilton

I sell cloth to others to cover themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I travel all over the world in an attempt to push people to make design decisions based on an idea I formulated whilst playing with and crushing rocks and stones.

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By *oreAgainForeverCouple
29 weeks ago

doncaster

J puts vehicles on a vehicle and takes to places that sell vehicles

D walks into random rooms and sees if people has moved things around correctly

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By *iaisonseekerMan
29 weeks ago

Liverpool

I feast on human frailty.

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By *lueeyedchapMan
29 weeks ago

Nottingham

I make sure our submarines don’t sink.

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
29 weeks ago

Newmill

"I sell cloth to others to cover themselves "

So *you're* the one to blame for all these people who should be naked but aren't!

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By *uxom redCouple
29 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Dick mends wobbly boxes .

I create substances to keep wrinkles alive .

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By *igR93Man
29 weeks ago

Sarcasm City

"I hit squares with squiggly symbols on them until a machine does what I want."

I get people to invest in premium bonds and shares that they don’t need so I can steal their money

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By *onnynclaireCouple
29 weeks ago

Reading

I decapitate blades of grass and leaves for other peoples enjoyment throughout the year.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
29 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I tell other people how to do their job

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By *uxom redCouple
29 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

"I tell other people how to do their job "
HR

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By *WANDTGCouple
29 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

I put metal tubes and metal boxes in the air, so everyone gets to be cool.

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By *ubbermadebabyCouple
29 weeks ago

Wrexham

I basically spend my working day telling people it’s fucked and yes it going to cost that much.

Mr Rmb

Mrs Rmb keeps silly people alive!

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
29 weeks ago

kent

"I travel all over the world in an attempt to push people to make design decisions based on an idea I formulated whilst playing with and crushing rocks and stones. "

This sounds awesome.

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By *lueLotusWoman
29 weeks ago

the wilderness

I've two separate jobs..

I persuade a load of people to get in the same place on the same day and play with each other.

I also tuck ppl up and get them super relaxed.

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By *hunky GentMan
29 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I draw lines and circles until I get 3d shapes to make stuff.

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By *WANDTGCouple
29 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

"I basically spend my working day telling people it’s fucked and yes it going to cost that much.

Mr Rmb

Mrs Rmb keeps silly people alive! "

Mechanic

A &E nurse

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By *rMonkeyMan
29 weeks ago

Somewhere

I enable companies to keep things spinning around that fire electrons out the other end and I'm also trying to save the polar bears at the same time.

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By *FNMLMCMan
29 weeks ago

Sunderland

I spend my days with tools in my hand, extracting fluids and providing a great service to happy customers.

Mechanic

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 13/07/24 21:35:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

"I travel all over the world in an attempt to push people to make design decisions based on an idea I formulated whilst playing with and crushing rocks and stones.

This sounds awesome. "

It’s badly explained! My real job is far less awesome sounding. I’ll share and put you to sleep over tea.

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By *WB99Man
29 weeks ago

the north

I test things so people play more consistent.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
29 weeks ago

Southampton

Counts things and sticks labels on boxes

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By *indergirlWoman
29 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace

I'll root around in one of your orifices to make sure it's healthy and working properly

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By *eliz NelsonMan
29 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"Counts things and sticks labels on boxes"

One of Santa's elves??

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
29 weeks ago

Southampton

"Counts things and sticks labels on boxes

One of Santa's elves??

Not quite but it does feel like that sometimes

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By *eliz NelsonMan
29 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"I've two separate jobs..

I persuade a load of people to get in the same place on the same day and play with each other.

I also tuck ppl up and get them super relaxed. "

Owner of Swingers club!

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By *uperted39Man
29 weeks ago

bushey

Metaphorically speaking, getting pegged by dominant yank and aus women who cry when the toys we give them don't quite work to their satisfaction

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By *lueLotusWoman
29 weeks ago

the wilderness

"I've two separate jobs..

I persuade a load of people to get in the same place on the same day and play with each other.

I also tuck ppl up and get them super relaxed.

Owner of Swingers club!"

Might be fun but no!

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By *naswingdressWoman
29 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I've two separate jobs..

I persuade a load of people to get in the same place on the same day and play with each other.

I also tuck ppl up and get them super relaxed. "

The latter sounds like you give facials (not the sexual kind) and massages

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By *eliz NelsonMan
29 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"I've two separate jobs..

I persuade a load of people to get in the same place on the same day and play with each other.

I also tuck ppl up and get them super relaxed.

Owner of Swingers club!

Might be fun but no! "

Not in a nursery???

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

People break tool... tool not work... I fix tool...tool work.

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By *ariadx2Couple
29 weeks ago

Wrexham

Argue with stupid people

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
29 weeks ago

Newmill

"Argue with stupid people "

Wait, you can get paid for that? Shit, I've been doing it for free.

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By *rispyDuckMan
29 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Encourage sick people to stop slacking about moaning about shit and get back on their feet

Motto is ‘pain is weakness leaving the body’

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By *eliz NelsonMan
29 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"Encourage sick people to stop slacking about moaning about shit and get back on their feet

Motto is ‘pain is weakness leaving the body’

Counsellor

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By *utterfly1983Couple
29 weeks ago

Widnes

"T dresses like a tree and shoots his load into the butt. G helps people who used to dress like trees "

Some sort of butt surgeon and assistant? Lol

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
29 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"I tell other people how to do their job HR"

Senior management

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By *utterfly1983Couple
29 weeks ago

Widnes

"Encourage sick people to stop slacking about moaning about shit and get back on their feet

Motto is ‘pain is weakness leaving the body’

Personal trainer?

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By *rispyDuckMan
29 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

"Encourage sick people to stop slacking about moaning about shit and get back on their feet

Motto is ‘pain is weakness leaving the body’

Counsellor

Something like that

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By *apkingMan
29 weeks ago

Stockport

Cut ,Glue and screw bits of wood together

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By *lueLotusWoman
29 weeks ago

the wilderness

"I've two separate jobs..

I persuade a load of people to get in the same place on the same day and play with each other.

I also tuck ppl up and get them super relaxed.

The latter sounds like you give facials (not the sexual kind) and massages"

Close but no

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By *mf123Man
29 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Talk a little listen a little create laughter and walk away with a smile

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By *ubbermadebabyCouple
29 weeks ago

Wrexham

"I basically spend my working day telling people it’s fucked and yes it going to cost that much.

Mr Rmb

Mrs Rmb keeps silly people alive!

Mechanic

One out of two !!

A &E nurse"

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By *ddie1966Man
29 weeks ago

Paper Town Central, Essex.

I make sure people don't crash into shops with their trolleys

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By *heGateKeeperMan
29 weeks ago

Stratford

I write down all the stuff that gets said and then post it on the internet

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I make things that float

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By *4bimMan
29 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

hitting things with a hammer

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By (user no longer on site)
29 weeks ago

I make screens with squiggly symbols on them that make machines do everything but what you want them to

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
29 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"I tell other people how to do their job "

Ooh, I do that too, it’s not my job, more of a sort of hobby.

If you’ve ever seen the Harry Enfield character who’s catch phrase was ‘You don’t wanna do it like thaaat’ , in a very annoying voice, that could be me

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By *uckslut and MCouple
28 weeks ago

Poole

I line things up, tell people where things are, even when they are right in front of them. Listen to them moan, guess their info, get moaned at again if I spell it wrong, or have not mind read that they have only given half of it. I stab people, refuse to give them more than 2. Stand watching some, shout at some, shout at staff, go through pockets and bags. Lob stuff down shoots. Control paper things, weigh round metal things. Clean bodily fuilds up, stick things on, check things, move things. Report stuff twice a day. Take things from people, give some stuff back. Spray stuff, put stuff up, take stuff down. And all with a max 30 mins break per shift.

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By *itSurreyCoupleCouple
28 weeks ago

Reigate

There’s lights, and some boxes that make sounds, some bits of wood that sit on metal, people talking about whir jobs and that.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

I put my hands in tight spaces and holes and

twiddle nuts ..

seal flanges ..

Remove big ends ..

Use lots of lubricants..

Grease nipples ..

And generally shout and swear alot then spend customers money and ask them to pay me ??

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
28 weeks ago

Tamworth

Telling people stuff they really shouldn’t do and stuff they really should.

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By *acktopervMan
28 weeks ago

Stourport-On-Severn

"I make sure our submarines don’t sink."

Now, there was me thinking that's the whole point of submarines

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By *ermite12ukMan
28 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

I use etch a sketch.

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By *indergirlWoman
28 weeks ago

somewhere, someplace

"Encourage sick people to stop slacking about moaning about shit and get back on their feet

Motto is ‘pain is weakness leaving the body’

Rehab physio?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
28 weeks ago

Wherever

I tell people what to do when they don’t know what to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

Help build stuff that goes deep underwater and eventually helps your car run

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

I give light, I take light away

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By *ullsfan77Man
28 weeks ago

Torquay

Providing interventions to sustain life-now developing a curriculum to train others how to do this.

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By *eliz NelsonMan
28 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"I give light, I take light away "

Oh feck!! God's on fab forums!!

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By *eliz NelsonMan
28 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"I put my hands in tight spaces and holes and

twiddle nuts ..

seal flanges ..

Remove big ends ..

Use lots of lubricants..

Grease nipples ..

And generally shout and swear alot then spend customers money and ask them to pay me ??"

Are you a tantric masseuse?

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By *obwithkiltMan
28 weeks ago

Belton

I make a place look pretty so you can see it for seconds on a TV screen.....I also wait for people to crash so we can make it look pretty again.....and repeat....and repeat

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By *qua vitaeWoman
28 weeks ago

Shropshire/Midlands

[Removed by poster at 14/07/24 11:54:26]

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By * and HCouple
28 weeks ago

Andover

Yes I get to use my slogan

I keep you cumming and going

Work that one out

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By *ing00Man
28 weeks ago

Northants

in my job, i help cushions to arrive at peoples houses as long as some magnets on a disc in a cloud are in the right place.

i do that by using an electronic box to send radio signals at my internet box which in turn infliuences the positions of those magnets so that cushions arrive.

cushion people happy.

magnets magnetised.

me paid.

me happy.

anyone want a job?

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By *ermite12ukMan
28 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

"in my job, i help cushions to arrive at peoples houses as long as some magnets on a disc in a cloud are in the right place.

i do that by using an electronic box to send radio signals at my internet box which in turn infliuences the positions of those magnets so that cushions arrive.

cushion people happy.

magnets magnetised.

me paid.

me happy.

anyone want a job?

Do said people purchasing cushions, suffer from haemorrhoids? Jus askin.

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By *erry bull1Man
28 weeks ago

doncaster

Retired now but spent years driving the highways and byways crushing cats eyes

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
28 weeks ago

Southampton

"I give light, I take light away "

Light Switch operator?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
28 weeks ago

Norwich

"I make sure our submarines don’t sink."

Aren't submarines supposed to sink?

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By *r and Mrs B xxCouple
28 weeks ago

Chippenham

I put a tube into something cold to make it hot and creamy

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By *affron40Woman
28 weeks ago

manchester

I read words and give them time depending on complexity. I justify the time to make it into money then somebody pays it.

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By *ynamicnatureMan
28 weeks ago

Doncaster

I babysit d*unken adults

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By *asterMeliodas OP Man
28 weeks ago

Newmill

"I make sure our submarines don’t sink.

Aren't submarines supposed to sink? "

Maybe he's really bad at his job.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
28 weeks ago

Coventry

play uno, football, bake cakes, and play in the park

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By *eliz NelsonMan
28 weeks ago

The Tantric Tea Shop

"I read words and give them time depending on complexity. I justify the time to make it into money then somebody pays it. "

Proof reader?

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By *affron40Woman
28 weeks ago

manchester

"I read words and give them time depending on complexity. I justify the time to make it into money then somebody pays it.

Proof reader?"

Nope

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By *empted23Couple
28 weeks ago

countryside

I spend hours cutting things up

Only to stick them all back together again

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

"I put my hands in tight spaces and holes and

twiddle nuts ..

seal flanges ..

Remove big ends ..

Use lots of lubricants..

Grease nipples ..

And generally shout and swear alot then spend customers money and ask them to pay me ??

Are you a tantric masseuse?"

Im pretty sure i can turn my hand to anything and make it work

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By *rPunxMan
28 weeks ago

Hull

I bring a warm glow to the nation.

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By *wesomeAloneMan
28 weeks ago

Peterborough

I persuade electrons to go to their long term homes.

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By *ggdrasil66Man
28 weeks ago

Saltdean

I put up with idiot motorists, who have no clue about health and safety.

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By *ustful_LionessWoman
28 weeks ago

Heaven-sent

I go to work, I bash the keyboard sometimes, I think a lot about other peoples thoughts, emotions, traits, and where they will be next, I work with crazy people and come home.

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By (user no longer on site)
28 weeks ago

I spend millions of other people’s money to look at things others cannot see, and answer questions people don’t know needed answering; in order for humankind to continue to have vitality.

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By *tYourPleasure_80Man
28 weeks ago

Newcastle

I have to tolerate capable people who cannot look after themselves

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
28 weeks ago

Torquay

I'm retired now but I used to sit in the corner and no one knew what I did but they were afraid of what would happen if I didn't do it, perfect build up to retirement really

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By *itty9899Man
28 weeks ago

Craggy Island

I pull out unwanted crap from the ground.

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By *ecky and justCouple
28 weeks ago

Godalming

I work from home mainly, judging what other people say they’re going to do to be legal. They have to listen because without my say so they can’t do it…

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By *laytime_13Woman
28 weeks ago

Lincs

I listen to what people say they think they want, then work out what it is they actually want, then work with clever-er people than I, to actually make that happen.

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By *endalshaggersCouple
28 weeks ago

Lake District

I sit at a desk pushing buttons on a keyboard so products can be despatched to workshops or parts dealers and inevitably deal with someone complaining about fitment issues when they can't measure....

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By *onnyJohnMan
28 weeks ago

Doncaster

I use my balls to smash things.

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