FabSwingers.com forum: You're elected PM

By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
34 weeks ago

Central

You get to make some unpopular laws this week, whilst we're all in shock.

Perhaps something stronger against middle lane hoggers? Or something unpopular?

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By *hawn ScottMan
34 weeks ago

london Brixton

I would make a terrible PM, look what happened to Boris over partygate!

I'd make partygate look like a Sunday school outing, Number 10 would look like 6am on the Terrace at Space Ibiza.

I would also look worse that boris when being questioned

Errrrr I don't recall being at any party

No really I'm telling the truth the last 3 days are a blur

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

Greggs to be limited to opening between 5 and 6 in the morning

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By *ansoffateMan
34 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Free cheeseburgers and Milkshakes for everyone.

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By *agatoXXXMan
34 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"You get to make some unpopular laws this week, whilst we're all in shock.

Perhaps something stronger against middle lane hoggers? Or something unpopular?"

Just unpopular laws?

I want to make popular laws, like prosecuting every bastard who profiteered from covid, from brexit, and who bring racism and xenophobia into politics, and everyday life.

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
34 weeks ago

on the move

MPs salaries treated the same as a student loan, soon as they start working for a hedge fund, or tabacco company etc they pay it back, with interest.

That, and a new holiday just for having sex.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

A TV in every bedroom - by law!

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By *agatoXXXMan
34 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"A TV in every bedroom - by law!"

I already have a 32" TV in my bedroom. Yes, she's not very tall...

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By *ansoffateMan
34 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Plastic straws to be mandatory with milkshakes.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"A TV in every bedroom - by law!

I already have a 32" TV in my bedroom. Yes, she's not very tall...

At least you have one.

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By *hoirCouple
34 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

I'd force all supermarkets to close their small stores and move their bigger stores to just outside of each town.

Remove 80% of MPs. Reduce the Lords by 84%.

Remove devolved power from all member states

Lower the minimum wage

Tax all profits of companies even higher

A flat tax of 5% for the public and abolition of council and income tax

More localised power with major decisions made by ballot.

Scrapping of all mail ballots

Reintroduction of Peelian principles

Closure of 50% of government agencies with a further 50% over 5 years.

The arrest and public trials of Tony Blair and Alastair Campbell

Prosecution of Persimmon housing and all assets frozen from all board members past and present.

Closure of all local councils, firing if councillors. New areas to be served by an elected mayor and an elected board annually.

Just a few things.

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 05/07/24 04:58:59]

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Ban the checkouts at B&M bargains loaded with cheap vodka, king size Rizzla & scratch cards. it’s disgusting.

In fact I would go further, I would make a new law that taxes these kinds of dealers in direct relation to local crime and poverty.

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By *abioMan
34 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Obviously toilet seats must be left in the “upright” position….. I have not decided on the penalty yet… possibly death???

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
34 weeks ago

Central

"Obviously toilet seats must be left in the “upright” position….. I have not decided on the penalty yet… possibly death???

That's a fairly popular one in the forum Fabio

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
34 weeks ago

Excommunicdo.

Cheap chips

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By *ackandsashaCouple
34 weeks ago

West Dublin

First, total ban on flavoured vapes.

Second, make every electric scooter have a licence plate and be insured. Anyone found with8a plate after say 4 weeks, instant confiscation of scooter.

Third, make cannabis legal to sell. Regulation would raise tens of millions in revenue, and take this money from criminals.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
34 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I would make reporting ‘news’ or writing anything to distribute news in general a crime.

Punishable by death.

Either that or free teabags on the nhs.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"I'd force all supermarkets to close their small stores and move their bigger stores to just outside of each town.

Remove 80% of MPs. Reduce the Lords by 84%.

Remove devolved power from all member states

Lower the minimum wage

Tax all profits of companies even higher

A flat tax of 5% for the public and abolition of council and income tax

More localised power with major decisions made by ballot.

Scrapping of all mail ballots

Reintroduction of Peelian principles

Closure of 50% of government agencies with a further 50% over 5 years.

The arrest and public trials of Tony Blair and Alastair Campbell

Prosecution of Persimmon housing and all assets frozen from all board members past and present.

Closure of all local councils, firing if councillors. New areas to be served by an elected mayor and an elected board annually.

Just a few things.

Moderate stance in the East Midlands one sees

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
34 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

On Fridays, everyone must walk with Lego in their shoes.

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Third, make cannabis legal to sell. Regulation would raise tens of millions in revenue, and take this money from criminals. "

B&M bargains would love that.

Would you legalise crack and meth too ? B&M could stock a nice range of spoons and syringes alongside the scratch cards

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

My MP is 24 years old and made it through school with the name Stainbank. Sperm bank and wank stain sprung to mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Increase salaries of NHS nurses, police and fire brigade by a minimum 25% of what they currently have.

A mandatory goldfish for every house hold in the Uk, and compulsory Sunday lunches on a Sunday.

Shop closure on a Sunday, and all shops close at 6 pm during the week.

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By *lan157Man
34 weeks ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

End all those electric scooter trials and start prosecuting people who use any stand up scooter on the road. It's to dangerous and children die on the roads when they are used .

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By *ot to giggleWoman
34 weeks ago

Coventry

"A TV in every bedroom - by law!

I already have a 32" TV in my bedroom. Yes, she's not very tall...

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By *ffervescentMan
34 weeks ago

winfrith

I'd do away with politics

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By *ot to giggleWoman
34 weeks ago

Coventry

lock up all the ASB youths for 6 months after each offence!

make chocolate free on Fridays

Make Monday working optional

Increase weekends to 3 days - and you have to keep the same pay!

18 yr olds have to get out of bed by 9.30 am every day in the holiday - by law

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By *ouple4voyeurCouple
34 weeks ago

Birmingham

Bring back cane, slipper, flying board erasers, and lines in schools.

Armed beach patrols.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
34 weeks ago

Coventry

"Plastic straws to be mandatory with milkshakes.

Isn't this supposed to be a thread for silly unpopular ideas? It's not the sensible solutions for a brighter Britain thread.

(BTW we'd both totally vote for that policy)

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By *ffervescentMan
34 weeks ago

winfrith

"Bring back cane, slipper, flying board erasers, and lines in schools.

Armed beach patrols.

"
sugar cane we already have a big problem with diabetes .

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Stockport

Mandatory cross dressing minimum 2 days a week for everyone. If you walk five miles in somebody elses shoes etc...

All who have ever screeched about "but men in dresses going into ladies toilets" are not allowed to use ANY public toilet on their cross dressing days. They can experience the pee running down their leg and into their shoes...

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By *rWhite1Man
34 weeks ago

Trucker

"I'd force all supermarkets to close their small stores and move their bigger stores to just outside of each town.

Remove 80% of MPs. Reduce the Lords by 84%.

Remove devolved power from all member states

Lower the minimum wage

Tax all profits of companies even higher

A flat tax of 5% for the public and abolition of council and income tax

More localised power with major decisions made by ballot.

Scrapping of all mail ballots

Reintroduction of Peelian principles

Closure of 50% of government agencies with a further 50% over 5 years.

The arrest and public trials of Tony Blair and Alastair Campbell

Prosecution of Persimmon housing and all assets frozen from all board members past and present.

Closure of all local councils, firing if councillors. New areas to be served by an elected mayor and an elected board annually.

Just a few things.

WHEN YOU STEP UP , YOUR GETTING MY VOTE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

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By *he KakapoMan
34 weeks ago

A nice rock

Declare full independence for Northern Ireland

Not because I'm particularly patriotic or Republican but I just like chaos.....

Fuck it I'll also grant Liverpool independence

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
34 weeks ago

Central

School runs can only be done on space hoppers

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Abolish the government and monarchy and become the ruler of the world!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Cyclists and Caravans can only travel between 10pm and 5am.

Greggs to do the Festive Bake all year.

Ban disposable BBQs

No more houses to be painted grey, only white or pastel colours allowed.

All wasps to be converted in to bees

Bank Holiday Mondays to become Bank Holiday Fridays

Calendar to change to 13 x 4 week months. The new month to be called FABruary and nestle between July and August.

Anyone saying 'lush' to be imprisoned for life.

The England football manager to be an elected position.

A minimum portion size to be established in all restaurants.

Middle lane hoggers to have their driving licence torn up

All windfarms to have the turbines replaced with those pretty looking whirly things they sell in seaside towns

Wetherspoons to offer dental treatment to all their customers.

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By *eroLondonMan
34 weeks ago

Mayfair

A minimum 30 minutes in the shower. None of this confounded -5 minutes slap dash scare the body with a few droplets of water and then out- nonsense.

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By *d4fun73Man
34 weeks ago

Shipley

Ai generated music and art. I want ai to save me from drudgery not creativity

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
34 weeks ago

Middle England

Make the water company bosses and their families swim in sewage discharged waters. That should help focus the mind

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By *ffervescentMan
34 weeks ago

winfrith

Paying to park would be a thing of the past .

Free beer on demand.

Sex should be made plentiful .

England will play great football every match no sitting on tenterhooks .

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

A 3 day weekend.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
34 weeks ago

Stourbridge

Cheese to be banned

Coffee to be banned

Cake allowed to those who must on Sundays only

Sunday roast followed by Sunday tea of either cold meat leftover with salad Or

Tinned Salmon with vinegar and salad.

Tinned strawberries and ice cream as pudding.

Cadburys Dairy Milk to be a basic daily right.

Cyclists to be instantly electrocuted for going through red lights

D*unk and /other substances morons after the pubs shut to be rounded up and dumped in a field with no facilities under armed guard.

Vapes and cigarettes to be illegal, minimum £1000 fine for possession

Crocs to be banned

Loud music from cars banned

Cricket mandatory in schools

Electric scooters banned

Instant repatriation of illegal economic migrants (legal welcome)

Animal cruelty to be punished by public flogging with a raffle held for those wishing to deliver said punishment

Those who are physically able to work but choose to be on the dole to work in social roles such as litter collection and general works.

Small fraction of my polices.

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By *4bimMan
34 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

cheese is immediately illegal.

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By *2000ManMan
34 weeks ago

Worthing

Everyone who does not have a pet to adopt one from the local charity.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"cheese is immediately illegal."

Say what????

Make that celery and I'm in.

All MP's have to dress in fancy dress each day in the commons. Theme to be decided randomly by someone who didn't win on the lottery each week.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
34 weeks ago

Middle England

[Removed by poster at 05/07/24 12:42:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Under pants and socks to be prohibited

Boris Johnson, Nigel Farrage, Michael Gove and Jacob Rees Mogg the first to be sent to Rwanda.

All those employed in the care of the elderly receive a minimum salary of £25,000 per annum.

Exercise duty on tobacco raised by 100%

The tax on beer wine and spirits to be raised by 25%.

Tax relief given to those purchasing health insurance.

Vat on luxury goods to be raised to 50%.

The pension triple lock abolished and replaced with a CPI rise only.

Apprenticeships and indentured training mandatory for all those in the 16 - 25 age group who are not already in full time education.

State benefits to compose of one payment to cover housing, food, utilities and property tax plus 10% for ancillary living costs.

Greggs to be limited to selling products with a maximum calorie count of 250 kcal s

All retired service personnel to receive a gratitude payment of £10k per annum.

Liz Truss to be on the second flight to Rwanda.

The House of Lords and all hereditary titles to be abolished and replaced with a House of Representatives.

MPs will be banned from having other employment during their term of office. Their focus will and should be on constituency work.

The honours system to be scrapped and replaced with well nothing.

VAR scrapped.

All Wimbledon tennis courts to have retractable roofs installed.

A full review of the train network in this country and potentially becoming state owned.

Similar review into the energy and communications provision in the UK.

Independence referenda for all countries in the union. This would be a once in every 50 years event and will save a lot of moaning especially from the Jocks.

The Royal Family. A tricky one this and will provoke a shed load of emotion. However a full independent review to take place on the economic benefits to the exchequer of continuing with the status quo. Once verified the nation would vote on the relative merits of the institution.

National service to be introduced to all those over 25 not in full time education, employment and fit to do so. The service period will be a minimum of 3 years.

Those starting a small business will at the end of the first two years of continuing trading receive a payment equal to 50% of all taxes levied on the business during that period.

All prison buildings more than 50 years old will be sold to developers and new modern prisons built with the proceeds.

Any company that keeps a customer hanging on the telephone in dealing with customer service issue for longer than 10 minutes will receive a fixed penalty notice of £100.

The instruction, briefing and implementation of the above would, if my fab cabinet started work at 8am take us to dinner time. Lunch would be bought by each member of the Fab cabinet from the little Italian cafe next to the MoD. The tea fund would be administered by the chief secretary to the treasury and we would all take turns to make a brew. We would have a 30 minute dinner break before starting again at 1230.

I am pondering on the afternoon shift and will get back to you once I have had my chicken salad balm cake and mug of tea.

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By *hesubtlegentMan
34 weeks ago

surrey

Make it law that any lane hoggers can be shunted to the hard shoulder and have to pay for damages to all vehicles then banned from driving for life.

Get rid of cycle lanes. You want them, you pay tax on your cycle

Any male seen with their trousers halfway down their arse will have them pulled all the way down and whipped then lobbed into a male prison so they can find out what it really means to wear your trousers like that…

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

I'd give back the six counties

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"I'd give back the six counties "

To whom?

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By *agatoXXXMan
34 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"I'd give back the six counties "

I'd tow them to the middle of the Atlantic and sink them. More trouble than they are worth.

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By *tudlandlouisaxWoman
34 weeks ago

lincoln

An Australian based score system

Free the nipple

More nude beaches

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By *abioMan
34 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Oh we being serious now!!!!

Okay……

First of all…… cheese and pineapple on sticks!!! They can go!!

Half pint glasses!!! Waste for the environment!!!

Loo rolls put on correctly!!!

Seat left in the upright position (as mentioned earlier)

Boob tubes…. Banned!!!

Novelty songs… banned, who judges what a novelty song is, it will be made of a commission of me!

Standing on the wrong side of an escalator is punished by stocks!

Airlines should provide adult only long distance flights….

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"Oh we being serious now!!!!

Okay……

First of all…… cheese and pineapple on sticks!!! They can go!!

Half pint glasses!!! Waste for the environment!!!

Loo rolls put on correctly!!!

Seat left in the upright position (as mentioned earlier)

Boob tubes…. Banned!!!

Novelty songs… banned, who judges what a novelty song is, it will be made of a commission of me!

Standing on the wrong side of an escalator is punished by stocks!

Airlines should provide adult only long distance flights…. "

Fabio I would like to appoint you to my cabinet as your policy agenda sits in line with mine. Clearly banning novelty songs will sound the demise of cold play those Sheeran and Capalidi Guys. The long haul adult flights are in the kings speech.

I was thinking minister without portfolio?

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"An Australian based score system

Free the nipple

More nude beaches "

The Aussie based score system relates to wickets before runs rather than runs before wickets.....correct?

If so it’s a resounding no. Unthinkable young lady!

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By *tudlandlouisaxWoman
34 weeks ago

lincoln

"An Australian based score system

Free the nipple

More nude beaches

The Aussie based score system relates to wickets before runs rather than runs before wickets.....correct?

If so it’s a resounding no. Unthinkable young lady!"

Unthinkable?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"Oh we being serious now!!!!

Okay……

First of all…… cheese and pineapple on sticks!!! They can go!!

Half pint glasses!!! Waste for the environment!!!

Loo rolls put on correctly!!!

Seat left in the upright position (as mentioned earlier)

Boob tubes…. Banned!!!

Novelty songs… banned, who judges what a novelty song is, it will be made of a commission of me!

Standing on the wrong side of an escalator is punished by stocks!

Airlines should provide adult only long distance flights…. "

If only you had of left the pineapple & cheese on a stick alone. I could have got behind all other policies

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Extra bank holiday in October, all mobile networks to be switched off at certain times of the day,all reality tv shows to be banned, and stupid people to be locked away for good.

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By *agatoXXXMan
34 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

Boob tubes…. Banned!!!

And what, pray tell, is wrong with boob tubes? Easily pulled dow, easily pulled up (when the police pull up next to you at make out point), and seldom worn with a bra. I see no negatives.

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By *hirley147TV/TS
34 weeks ago

Blackpool

Proportional representation introduction immediately. Immediately control borders, deport humanely immediately back to France. Abolished house of Lords. Build thousands of homes for all. Introduction of limited privatisation of nhs services ie ambulance service.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

All men have to show any social media post they make about women to their mum, wife, sister or closest woman relative.

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By *iddle ManMan
34 weeks ago

Walsall

You say unpopular laws, sneaking it in there.

McDonald's breakfasts, I just don't get the hype.

mcdonalds not to open until midday.

Oh and those middle lanes hoggers

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By *ife NinjaMan
34 weeks ago

Dunfermline

Ban vapes and the Reform Party

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By *ad NannaWoman
34 weeks ago

East London

Deodorant to be made compulsory.

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By *ophieslut OP TV/TS
34 weeks ago

Central

"Make the water company bosses and their families swim in sewage discharged waters. That should help focus the mind"

And they don't get out of the water until there's no sewage anywhere

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"I'd give back the six counties

To whom?"

To their rightful owner of course ..

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By *ell GwynnWoman
34 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"All men have to show any social media post they make about women to their mum, wife, sister or closest woman relative. "

Ooh, I like this one!

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