FabSwingers.com forum: Are single new guys not wanted ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
34 weeks ago

Are new single guys not wanted here?

I know I've been only on this site for about 13 weeks or so, got a gold membership and verified pictures but it seem most women only seek out older maybe more manly looking people or some outrageous things.

I am new to the world of swingers I won't lie and I'm pretty introverted when it feels like everyone here is extroverted.

Unfortunately I wasnt lucky enough and wasn't born with an older/manly looks as I still same to have to same young face for the last 10 years (I still get ID for energy drinks) in shops even though I'm 33 years old.

Now I won't lie I'm probably not solid boyfriend material yet and lack the drive to seek a proper relationship and only here for NSA fun.

Most dating sites feel like legit scams and want to to fork out tons of cash and waste hours on end.

So which comes to me looking at causal encounter sites but 90% of are dodgy as he'll but this one looks fairly legit but I suppose it might take a while to get any responses.

I don't do guys that my only rule or anything anal.

Other than that everything is above board.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
34 weeks ago

St Neots

I would probs go to the advice section and ask for profile advice if you're struggling. Some people are happy to help where you might be going wrong

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
34 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

Not wanted for what OP?

In terms of who I find attractive, newness to the site has nothing to do with it.

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By *viatrixWoman
34 weeks ago

Redhill

If you’re expecting to shag at least a different woman every day, your expectations need some serious management, OP.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
34 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

You won't be everyone's cup of tea...

Not sure what your expectations are from joining Fab?

But get involved and give it time

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By *parkle1974Woman
34 weeks ago

Leeds

Ofcourse they are but it can takes many months (or in some cases years) to get noticed, replies etc.

It's not #instashag...keep being you and eventually it will pay off.

Happy swinging

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

New single men are welcome.

I think it's a mistake to assume you know what other people want and automatically exclude yourself from that. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Equally assuming that you're going to be immediately successful will only lead to disappointment.

Be the best version of yourself, chat and read the forum you might have a laugh and even learn something. However you're not guaranteed meets, nobody is.

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By *zeroMan
34 weeks ago

Glasgow

If I could offer some advice OP

Your first line is "I've given up on making a nicey wicey profile so i'm not going to sugarcoat it much." Ita negative straight from the start.

Secondly you advertised that you frequent brothels. That might put off some women.

Also look at your age range. 25-99. You really interested in going that high. If your looking for older women a range of 25-60/70 might look better.

I recommend going to a social or a club first and talk to people there to get verifications and just open up, although I get that can be hard being an introvert.

All the best and hope things work out.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Also, in relation to the "older" you will find similar comments about lack of meeting from some of the older gentlemen on this site - need to look at things positively (after all it's just a bit of fun and not life and death).

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

OP welcome to and especially the forums.

My advice is get yourself to a group social. Because finding a one-to-one social as a single male is almost as difficult, cooking, a Fryup in the shower.

At least in the social people will get to see you and see your personality because what I found was people just don’t reply to your messages on here anymore. I think this place is just too busy and people do use it as an alternative app to the ones you’ve experienced as I did.

Good luck, dude. You sound legit

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By *ENGUYMan
34 weeks ago

Hull

OP, As a long term member of FAB I've seen this site evolve over time, so maybe some advice.

At only 13 weeks here, you are still a beginner. This isn't an Instant Shag site. You are up against 100's of other guys in your part of the UK, all seeking the same!

Before Covid, it could take a guy up to a year to become known but nowadays, it takes longer.

Your Profile needs to be like a Job CV; it needs to attract others in seconds, or people will move on.

Your profile needs....: take out anything negative about yourself including the 1st line being 'nicely wicey'; that and other negatives will just put people off!

Transfer the Dick pics from Public to Private; people don't wish to see them first hand; you can always use them at a later stage, but only when asked for.

Have pics showing you are smiling. A torso shot too is ok.

In your profile, say what you expect to offer in any meet; do not go into masses of detail, but just enough to draw others to you. Equally, say what you'd expect from a meet!

Look for Socials in your area. I would normally say to try clubs too, but does Scotland have any?

Perseverance, Patience and a thick skin are key elements as there will be rejections. Females, whether Single or with a partner, hold all the cards & can afford to be picky!

It does work on here, but it takes time + your success relies on your effort! Good Luck!

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By *he KakapoMan
34 weeks ago

A nice rock

Get a wife.. then come back... simples

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"OP, As a long term member of FAB I've seen this site evolve over time, so maybe some advice.

At only 13 weeks here, you are still a beginner. This isn't an Instant Shag site. You are up against 100's of other guys in your part of the UK, all seeking the same!

Before Covid, it could take a guy up to a year to become known but nowadays, it takes longer.

Your Profile needs to be like a Job CV; it needs to attract others in seconds, or people will move on.

Your profile needs....: take out anything negative about yourself including the 1st line being 'nicely wicey'; that and other negatives will just put people off!

Transfer the Dick pics from Public to Private; people don't wish to see them first hand; you can always use them at a later stage, but only when asked for.

Have pics showing you are smiling. A torso shot too is ok.

In your profile, say what you expect to offer in any meet; do not go into masses of detail, but just enough to draw others to you. Equally, say what you'd expect from a meet!

Look for Socials in your area. I would normally say to try clubs too, but does Scotland have any?

Perseverance, Patience and a thick skin are key elements as there will be rejections. Females, whether Single or with a partner, hold all the cards & can afford to be picky!

It does work on here, but it takes time + your success relies on your effort! Good Luck!"
That's some solid advice there.

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By *sguy2Man
34 weeks ago

all over

"If I could offer some advice OP

Your first line is "I've given up on making a nicey wicey profile so i'm not going to sugarcoat it much." Ita negative straight from the start.

Secondly you advertised that you frequent brothels. That might put off some women.

Also look at your age range. 25-99. You really interested in going that high. If your looking for older women a range of 25-60/70 might look better.

I recommend going to a social or a club first and talk to people there to get verifications and just open up, although I get that can be hard being an introvert.

All the best and hope things work out."

Good post.

Clubs/ socials are defo the way. My profile is a bit bare these days. I had another and had a lot more meets, mainly through being verified, which I managed through attending clubs.

And defo remove reference to the brothel!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
34 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"OP, As a long term member of FAB I've seen this site evolve over time, so maybe some advice.

At only 13 weeks here, you are still a beginner. This isn't an Instant Shag site. You are up against 100's of other guys in your part of the UK, all seeking the same!

Before Covid, it could take a guy up to a year to become known but nowadays, it takes longer.

Your Profile needs to be like a Job CV; it needs to attract others in seconds, or people will move on.

Your profile needs....: take out anything negative about yourself including the 1st line being 'nicely wicey'; that and other negatives will just put people off!

Transfer the Dick pics from Public to Private; people don't wish to see them first hand; you can always use them at a later stage, but only when asked for.

Have pics showing you are smiling. A torso shot too is ok.

In your profile, say what you expect to offer in any meet; do not go into masses of detail, but just enough to draw others to you. Equally, say what you'd expect from a meet!

Look for Socials in your area. I would normally say to try clubs too, but does Scotland have any?

Perseverance, Patience and a thick skin are key elements as there will be rejections. Females, whether Single or with a partner, hold all the cards & can afford to be picky!

It does work on here, but it takes time + your success relies on your effort! Good Luck!"

Great advice

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By *electableicecreamMan
34 weeks ago

The West

A lot of the given out on the forums is well meaning but also formulaic and you could drive yourself around the bend trying to crack the code when in reality there isn't one.

Everyone has a different viewpoint on what constitutes a good profile

If you look at the guys in women's verifications the first thing you'll notice is the variation. There's plenty of profiles with short bios or basic photos that are doing really well.

Fab isn't the forum.

Effort is what works and there are a lot of ways to skin that cat.

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By *ullsfan77Man
34 weeks ago

Torquay

I’m new to this too. But I am learning. Positivity is key in a profile. I’m sure mine could use a bit of work too! I don’t have any dick pics. Managing expectations is key too-this is a scene rather that a guaranteed shag site. You have to become established and get yourself known. I am looking at clubs around me-who will take single men. Again I will go with no expectations. The social side is very important. I am in a slightly odd position where I am married but my wife doesn’t want us to play together. She is not interested in women and doesn’t want me watching her. I also can’t accommodate very often at all either, which I know will make me less desirable. But I manage my expectations for n line with this and I am honest about my situation too. As I am to my wife. In short be positive, be patient and have a look at the social side.

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By *naswingdressWoman
34 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's a difficult slog for new profiles - men trying to get attention, women drowning in it.

Have a think about whether the person you're looking for would be attracted by your profile or not. And if not, why not.

I'm not sure it's true that introversion is a barrier to dating. Nor is anxiety. It's just a different experience. (I say this as an introverted anxious autistic woman)

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By *sguy2Man
34 weeks ago

all over

"It's a difficult slog for new profiles - men trying to get attention, women drowning in it.

Have a think about whether the person you're looking for would be attracted by your profile or not. And if not, why not.

I'm not sure it's true that introversion is a barrier to dating. Nor is anxiety. It's just a different experience. (I say this as an introverted anxious autistic woman)"

Ah we met under my previous profile! You were at a guys house and I popped in one night for an impromptu quicky! Think it was Denton and you had a bad leg at the time…

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By *ittlekinks38Woman
34 weeks ago

outside belfast x

You've been only here 4 weeks? Give it time and be sure to get chatting away to folk...maybe check forums for your area and get established with a few people...best to chat for ages before asking to meet up...unless it's single women your looking best to keep all options open on other apps aswell x

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By *onkeynutWoman
34 weeks ago

somewhere

You have had some good responses so I won’t offer advice other than to say “nicely wicey” made me

I’m sure I’m not the only one.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

I'm assuming we won't get banned from giving feedback ...

Success is a mixture of lilick, timing and skill. But you need to try and max out on the latter!

My vibe from your profile is a bit self centred and a bit negative.

Online is designed for introverts. So I'm not buying that quickly.

The bit about brothels may put people off, but it reads like you are just looking to find a cheaper shag. (And sex workers are real people too

)

Likewise the beggara bit. Who wants to be someone you've "settled for" coz you want to get your dick wet?

In a nutshell stop telling us why you are are here and what you want. Tell us what youre bringing to the table. And where possible go either ... Show, don't tell. Let your character come through.

And most of all, don't take this place too seriously. It will drive you insane !

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By *abioMan
34 weeks ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Sometimes I do wonder what the expectations are for new people using the site…..

The only thing I see is that I think they were a lot higher now than when I joined

The best analogy I can use is that (I am going to sound so old now) back in my day people use to see what the lay of the land was and dip a toe in first…… now it’s more jump in with both feet sink or swim!

Much less patience… far less common sense… less accountability for themselves

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