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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold?" Hot and cold is small willy energy | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold?" Get a fan and coat ready | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold? Get a fan and coat ready " This is why you should wear thin layers | |||
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"I'm tepid at best. I don't know why people are hot and cold, could just be they have something going on in their life so they are not as attentive as before could be they just enjoy messing with people, I do chat to someone on here who is like this, been chatting on and off for a couple of years, it amuses me to see which version I'm going to get with him, once I'm bored with it I'll block him." Until you said a couple of years my ears were burning  | |||
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"I'm tepid at best. I don't know why people are hot and cold, could just be they have something going on in their life so they are not as attentive as before could be they just enjoy messing with people, I do chat to someone on here who is like this, been chatting on and off for a couple of years, it amuses me to see which version I'm going to get with him, once I'm bored with it I'll block him. Until you said a couple of years my ears were burning "On no Willy, you ain't got nothing on him! Only one version of you   | |||
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"On here, I don’t give them the time of day. Move right along. Delete them from friends. Block them. " It's 12:07 if she's ^ blocked you | |||
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"I'm tepid at best. I don't know why people are hot and cold, could just be they have something going on in their life so they are not as attentive as before could be they just enjoy messing with people, I do chat to someone on here who is like this, been chatting on and off for a couple of years, it amuses me to see which version I'm going to get with him, once I'm bored with it I'll block him. Until you said a couple of years my ears were burning
On no Willy, you ain't got nothing on him! Only one version of you "Knobhead? | |||
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"I'm tepid at best. I don't know why people are hot and cold, could just be they have something going on in their life so they are not as attentive as before could be they just enjoy messing with people, I do chat to someone on here who is like this, been chatting on and off for a couple of years, it amuses me to see which version I'm going to get with him, once I'm bored with it I'll block him. Until you said a couple of years my ears were burning
On no Willy, you ain't got nothing on him! Only one version of you
Knobhead? " | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person "  | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold?" I’m definitely not. But I have had relationships with people who are. I would describe them as passive aggressive people. Not my kind of people  | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person " In a day and age where people are constantly holding their phone the “sorry I haven’t been on my phone” excuse doesn’t work with me | |||
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"If someone is doing that deliberately it’s manipulative behaviour. But people can come across hot n cold without intending to. " I agree with this, I was with someone who was hot hot hot until he got what he wanted and then bloody freezing after | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person In a day and age where people are constantly holding their phone the “sorry I haven’t been on my phone” excuse doesn’t work with me" Exactly this , most apps show you as well when people were last online or reading comments too.  | |||
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"I think I can be hot and cold sometimes... Not in a rude arrogant way. But when life is feeling particularly hard, I do struggle to talk to people in general" That isn’t being hot and cold. That’s just being human | |||
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"I think I can be hot and cold sometimes... Not in a rude arrogant way. But when life is feeling particularly hard, I do struggle to talk to people in general That isn’t being hot and cold. That’s just being human " xx | |||
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"I worry sometimes about the way that how quickly/often you talk with someone has become a measure of how much you care about them. I think it’s one of the really negative things about smartphones. An unintentional side effect of them. I mean … some of the most important people in my life I only speak with once a month, or less. That doesn’t diminish my love for them." I agree but there's a difference in someone being hot and cold and someone who is infrequent in catching up. | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold?" I thought this was gonna be a plumbing thread | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold? I thought this was gonna be a plumbing thread " | |||
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"I agree but there's a difference in someone being hot and cold and someone who is infrequent in catching up." There is. But I think the latter can be seen as the former. And that can be a cause of real breakdown in relationships/friendships. | |||
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"I agree but there's a difference in someone being hot and cold and someone who is infrequent in catching up. There is. But I think the latter can be seen as the former. And that can be a cause of real breakdown in relationships/friendships." I think you're probably right. This is when it's nice to find someone on a similar wavelength to yourself. I can got weeks or months without communicating with some people and it just clicks back like you chatted yesterday | |||
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"I’m always cold. I’m also just rubbish at replying to messages whether it be on here or from friends etc. It doesn’t mean I’m not interested or don’t care I just have a busy life and sometimes don’t have the headspace to reply. Those that matter will still be there when I eventually do reply, those that don’t, won’t." You look hot to me.  | |||
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"If someone is doing that deliberately it’s manipulative behaviour. But people can come across hot n cold without intending to. " It's hard to know the difference when you're on the receiving end of it. I'm a bit of a withdrawer when things get stressful and I really worry that people will be offended if I do so without explanation, so I always try to give a heads-up. | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold? Get a fan and coat ready " Central heating and opening a window also works! | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person In a day and age where people are constantly holding their phone the “sorry I haven’t been on my phone” excuse doesn’t work with me Exactly this , most apps show you as well when people were last online or reading comments too. "Still doesn't mean they owe you their time & effort. People have busy lives & limited time & energy, depleted more by constant notifications. It's worth taking a break from time to time. Some things end up taking priority while others slip by. Try not to take it personally. | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold? Hot and cold is small willy energy " interesting conclusion!! what if there's no Willie's? | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold? Hot and cold is small willy energy interesting conclusion!! what if there's no Willie's? "Small clitoris??? | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person " See, I can be quite rubbish at communicating. Does that make me a horrible person? And the whole it takes seconds thing, maybe, but it also takes space in my head and some days/weeks I just can't deal with anything else in there. | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person See, I can be quite rubbish at communicating. Does that make me a horrible person? And the whole it takes seconds thing, maybe, but it also takes space in my head and some days/weeks I just can't deal with anything else in there. " I'm crap at communicating too, I literally forget about people until they contact me. Unless there is a specific objective in mind like sex. I rarely call people. | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person See, I can be quite rubbish at communicating. Does that make me a horrible person? And the whole it takes seconds thing, maybe, but it also takes space in my head and some days/weeks I just can't deal with anything else in there. " No, I don't think it does. It can mean you're not compatible with someone if your messaging style doesn't align. And that's fine. It happens. Sometimes I'm really bad at messaging. Like during my period - because unless I really feel safe/trust a person, I don't have headspace to keep conversation going during that time. Or when I've got a really busy work week and my spoons are depleted. It's easy to post crap on here but 1 to 1 chat is different. I'd really hope people know I'm not hot/colding them. | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person See, I can be quite rubbish at communicating. Does that make me a horrible person? And the whole it takes seconds thing, maybe, but it also takes space in my head and some days/weeks I just can't deal with anything else in there. " I don't think it makes you a horrible person, that's a bit extreme. As you said, it probably makes you a poor communicator though. I've had people on here message to say they're going to go quite for a bit. They're very direct and it certainly makes it easier | |||
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"We have had someone who has done this. Stopped messaging us often and just sent a ‘plate spinning’ message now and again. It’s fine if peoples lives get busy and they let you know but when they visit FAB often but don’t reply to your message, it’s very clear that you’re not top of their thoughts. People will always make time for the people they are interested/keen on. We just delete the chat if people don’t respond - no point keeping it open. K " The above is only for people who we are chatting to about meeting or have met. The heat has been built up or there’s talk of meeting and then you get the slow replies, the hot and cold treatment. For established friends on here, we wouldn’t care if they took an hour/day/ month to reply - we’d still pick up where we left off - there’s no time limit. There’s a huge difference between the two. K | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person See, I can be quite rubbish at communicating. Does that make me a horrible person? And the whole it takes seconds thing, maybe, but it also takes space in my head and some days/weeks I just can't deal with anything else in there. I don't think it makes you a horrible person, that's a bit extreme. As you said, it probably makes you a poor communicator though. I've had people on here message to say they're going to go quite for a bit. They're very direct and it certainly makes it easier " But I don't know if I'm gonna go quiet, it's not something I plan. I have to be in the right head space and if I'm not I just don't reply. | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person " I can't agree with this. As I said above I am permanently exhausted and don't have the energy to keep in constant touch with people. I haven't set foot in my siblings homes since before covid, nor they in mine and we can go for weeks without so much as text message and months without a phone call. The same is true for friends. As I said in another thread yesterday I have spent the majority of my life from the age of 12 as a carer for various family members and friends. As a result I am emotionally and physically burned out and if someone is going through difficult times and expects me to be there for them there is a strong possibility they are going to be disappointed. I can't carry my own load so there is no way I'm going to carry everyone else's. I've been there and done that and now it's my time. I will never turn anyone away but I won't be initiating those conversations. Those friends I chat to every day and who make time for me rather than just come looking when they need support will always take priority. That doesn't make me a shit person | |||
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" The above is only for people who we are chatting to about meeting or have met. The heat has been built up or there’s talk of meeting and then you get the slow replies, the hot and cold treatment. For established friends on here, we wouldn’t care if they took an hour/day/ month to reply - we’d still pick up where we left off - there’s no time limit. There’s a huge difference between the two. K" I agree with this. An established friend who goes weeks, months or years without communicating but you can instantly catch up as if no time was missed at all isn’t someone I consider hot and cold. I meant someone whom you’ve expressed a mutual interest in, have built up excitement of a meet and then they go silent. That’s the hot and cold I was referring to. I’m not saying I should be anyone’s only focus but if you’re spending weeks without keeping up with communication, I’ve already lost interest. For me, the build up can be just as exciting as the actual meeting new people. | |||
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 my post today !!! someone who was something then decides your worthless to them for no apparent reason. yea i know move on | |||
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" my post today !!! someone who was something then decides your worthless to them for no apparent reason. yea i know move on "That’s not good | |||
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"Why do some people act hot and cold, and how do you deal with it? Are you someone who is hot and cold?" Maybe they been hurt in the past like they want to but is scared to at the same time Just be patient they just need a little more time | |||
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"I don't believe there is an excuse for being like this towards anyone either in "real" life or on fab.. It literally takes seconds to check in on anyone that means something to you, less time than it takes to make a cuppa! No excuse for it in my books and when people do it far too often then it starts to affect the other person and they end up with no choice but to walk away usually blaming themselves for it all to save their own sanity. Shit communication -shit person I can't agree with this. As I said above I am permanently exhausted and don't have the energy to keep in constant touch with people. I haven't set foot in my siblings homes since before covid, nor they in mine and we can go for weeks without so much as text message and months without a phone call. The same is true for friends. As I said in another thread yesterday I have spent the majority of my life from the age of 12 as a carer for various family members and friends. As a result I am emotionally and physically burned out and if someone is going through difficult times and expects me to be there for them there is a strong possibility they are going to be disappointed. I can't carry my own load so there is no way I'm going to carry everyone else's. I've been there and done that and now it's my time. I will never turn anyone away but I won't be initiating those conversations. Those friends I chat to every day and who make time for me rather than just come looking when they need support will always take priority. That doesn't make me a shit person" I get this ^^ | |||
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