FabSwingers.com forum: Are you parents dying?

By *arley Quim OP Woman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

One of mine is fucked! But keeps rallied which is awesome! But you know when it keeps 'getting there'. Then it's not quite getting there... And then you pull your mental health round, then they rally. And you just think... Its totally shit, but I really wanna know an outcome here?

Yes, that

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By *ell GwynnWoman
34 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.

One of mine is very ill and we're not sure what the prognosis is until investigative surgery is performed later this week. It's pretty scary.

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By *arley Quim OP Woman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

"That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.

One of mine is very ill and we're not sure what the prognosis is until investigative surgery is performed later this week. It's pretty scary."

I'm so, so sorry! Best wishes for the best!... Mines just kinda hanging in medical limbo. Which sucks x

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By *ags73Man
34 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Both mine are gone. Only advice is make the time if you can before they die.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
34 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.

One of mine is very ill and we're not sure what the prognosis is until investigative surgery is performed later this week. It's pretty scary.

I'm so, so sorry! Best wishes for the best!... Mines just kinda hanging in medical limbo. Which sucks x "

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By *arley Quim OP Woman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

"Both mine are gone. Only advice is make the time if you can before they die."

Totally doing this. This trip home with COPD, massive mobility issues, on oxygen and other issues at 85... She'll die at home if lucky

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
34 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Sorry to both of you ladies. I hope you are both accessing the support you need and taking care of your needs.

In these situations it's ok to take time out

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Unfortunately I think that death for most people is a long drawn out process.

It takes its toll on you as an observer also, if you're around for it, whether it's your family member or friend etc. (Mentally, physically & financially).

I'm not sure you're really taught how to deal with it either..

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By *agatoXXXMan
34 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

Dead.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

"One of mine is fucked! But keeps rallied which is awesome! But you know when it keeps 'getting there'. Then it's not quite getting there... And then you pull your mental health round, then they rally. And you just think... Its totally shit, but I really wanna know an outcome here?

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
34 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Both mine are gone. Only advice is make the time if you can before they die.

Totally doing this. This trip home with COPD, massive mobility issues, on oxygen and other issues at 85... She'll die at home if lucky

I understand COPD, my Mum suffered with it, it's debilitating and frustrating. Changing seasons would be spent at the hospital, Mum would be in and out for weeks

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By *essTTWoman
34 weeks ago

Birmingham

I have nightmares about my parents get sick. Thankfully they are OK but I have no idea how I will cope if they die before me.

I am thinking of you all who have lost parents

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By *essTTWoman
34 weeks ago

Birmingham

*getting sick

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By *929Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington

Sorry about your mam what you going through must be hell

My dads been dead 9 years, mam still ok not dying that I know

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

Ones dead. The other I haven't spoken to in 30 plus years.

Is what it is.

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By *uxom redCouple
34 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Both our mums are dead .

My dad's not great .

It sucks hope you have the mental health to get through this op.

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By *arley Quim OP Woman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

"Unfortunately I think that death for most people is a long drawn out process.

It takes its toll on you as an observer also, if you're around for it, whether it's your family member or friend etc. (Mentally, physically & financially).

I'm not sure you're really taught how to deal with it either..

Absolutely no one is taught how to deal with it. I live within a 4th gen of women who medically took on care of related women with alzhimers (though they state it's not biological)... You do what you do tho

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"Unfortunately I think that death for most people is a long drawn out process.

It takes its toll on you as an observer also, if you're around for it, whether it's your family member or friend etc. (Mentally, physically & financially).

I'm not sure you're really taught how to deal with it either..

My mum passed about a year ago.

I'm sill at the "guilt" stage...

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By *arley Quim OP Woman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

"That sounds awful, I'm so sorry.

One of mine is very ill and we're not sure what the prognosis is until investigative surgery is performed later this week. It's pretty scary."

That's really scary! Hope it all goes well

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By *elronMan
34 weeks ago

Liverpool

I feel your pain lost both of my parents with 12 months of eachother mum through cancer dad through Lewes bodies dementia and Parkinson's evil and cruel.make the most of every day it's hard and draining but you have my best wishes x

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
34 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

OP I am so sorry to hear that.

Yes my dad is poorly. He has been through so much the last few years, a lung removed, prostate cancer, he’s just got over sepsis and has stents. I genuinely think he’s a cat! But the stress is hard to deal with when you’re not sure how long you have.

My mum passed 7 years ago far too young. But it was so peaceful and at home.

Really wishing you all the strength

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By *uri00620Woman
34 weeks ago

Croydon

Mine both died when I was a kid. Definitely puts things into perspective I'm pretty much laid back about everything and look at everything on a scale of relative shitness. Anything that has happened as an adult, doesn't come close. There's some comfort in that.

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By *issmorganWoman
34 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Sadly both mine have long gone, dad ten years and mum 15 years.

My dad was very ill but rallied round a few times, he lived a year and a half longer than he was given.Its v hard and you have my sympathies,every extra day I had with my dad was a blessing.

Sending you love op, sometimes it's the creaking gates that seem. to find the strength & keep going. X

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By *ot to giggleWoman
34 weeks ago

Coventry

Its hard, my dad died 18 months ago, lung cancer, 8 months from diagnosis.

You can only deal with whats in front of you.

We dont talk about dying , we talk around it. We hope for a peaceful end.

I hope you manage to find the support you need to manage this period in your life xx

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By *emonochromeMan
34 weeks ago

Peterborough

"Both mine are gone. Only advice is make the time if you can before they die."

Exactly this

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
34 weeks ago

somewhere

Sorry to hear that OP.

Both mine are still here, my mum is 79 and 6 years ago fell and broke her hip (she has replaced 15 years prior) and hasn't walked since, dad's been here carer ever since and he isn't in the best of health himself but refuses point blank to get any help for mum, he said to me recently "she my wife, it's my job to look after her" I can't argue with that but I do wish he would get a little help, I help when he allows me too but it's not often x

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By *ob Carpe DiemMan
34 weeks ago

Torquay

Get a power of attorney, you really don't want to be dealing with the court of protection, also look closely at continuing health care, it's a real post code lottery but get to know your/their rights

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
34 weeks ago

Hell

When my mum was my age she had lost both her mum and her dad. Mine (including step parents) are all still here, but my dad and I don’t speak.

It’s hard watching them get older and eventually realising they won’t be around forever

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

My dad passed last November

I hate to admit it but I don't care about my mum

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By *erkshire8299Man
34 weeks ago

slough

My dad passed away 20 years ago.

My mum's dementia is getting worse...so she now lives with me ..I will never forget how she was always there for me as a child and helped with the kids when I split up with the Mrs ..on my watch she will never go in home...it's the least i can do for her.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
34 weeks ago

North West

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this"

I think you know I have and feel similar with my Dad.

He's just turned 85. He has dementia and he's getting rapidly worse but still lives alone and social services are useless. He wants to die and honestly, it would be the best thing now. I feel awful saying that but his behaviour is getting really challenging and he can't retain any information at all and has forgotten huge swathes of his life. He can't understand that there was a time in his life before I existed; he referred to me as his Mum yesterday and yet he talks incessantly about his Grandad, who died in 1947.

I had to go out 40 odd miles late last night to meet the police, got to bed at 03:00 and trying to care for him is taking an enormous toll on my MH and my physical abilities, as well as on my own little family.

We have every sympathy for you, OP

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
34 weeks ago

little house on the praire

My dad, stepdad and partner are all gone. My mum is nearly 80 lo9ks and acts like someone in there 60s. I make the most of everyday with her

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By *idzmaleMan
34 weeks ago

telford

Lost my dad 6 years ago to cancer. I helped car for him till the end. Still gets me upset when I think of him. Always miss him. Time is not a great healer you just hide a way to get though the days and try and make him proud.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

It must be quite mentally and physically draining being in your situation OP, and others.

I kinda forgotten what all that is like, having been without parents for more of my life than with parents.

Don’t forget to look out to yourselves, it’s no help to anyone if you make yourself ill.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

Don’t forget to look out to yourselves, it’s no help to anyone if you make yourself ill. "

So much easier said than done I'm afraid.

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By *ermite12ukMan
34 weeks ago

Solihull and Brentwood

Step dad died due to cancer of the gullet I think....basically starved to death as no food could pass into his stomach.

Mother, no idea. Not seen or heard from her in about 15 years. Probably dead as well.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
34 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I’m sorry to hear that OP. Having been in your position recently I know how incredibly hard that is. Sending hugs

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By *ost SockMan
34 weeks ago

West Wales and Cardiff

I lost my mum in February. I miss helping her out and I have no close family now.

I’m doing OK, but life is hard. I look at Fab, but feel detached from the world it encapsulates. I often crave a long cwtch with someone though.

Grief is a weird and complicated beast!

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By *ifesmysteries32Man
34 weeks ago

Seaford

As one whose both parents are still around but now having one major scare after another and really not well I feel for everyone here. Was a carer for my grandad on mother side through his dementia and alzheimers the mental stress can be rough and take its toll.

It was my grandad that helped with that in a moment of pure clarity and said I want you to just look out for one purely beautiful or funny thing each day and hold on to it.

It's literally the best advice I've ever received.

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By *ripfillMan
34 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

Both mine are dead

Please …. Make sure their wishes and wills are in order

Please make sure they understand Do not resuscitate if that’s their wish it’s so cruel to see suffering

Please prepare ( that’s so bloody difficult I know)

And plan … as much as you can do

So sorry for what you are going through it’s awful

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By *zeroMan
34 weeks ago

Glasgow

My dad has Alzheimers and it's been a gradual decline over the last 2 or 3 years. Some days he's great and others not so much.

He has kept poor health for as long as I remember and although I hate saying it he likely doesn't have long left.

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By *viatrixWoman
34 weeks ago

Redhill

Mine are both dead. 2016 and 2022. Both of dementia, really rapid decline- went from being normal and healthy to dead within 6 months.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
34 weeks ago

North West

"Mine are both dead. 2016 and 2022. Both of dementia, really rapid decline- went from being normal and healthy to dead within 6 months. "

My Dad has been on a decline due to dementia since at least 2018, much more rapid since 2021. His body is reasonably strong but his mind has gone.

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By *viatrixWoman
34 weeks ago

Redhill

"Mine are both dead. 2016 and 2022. Both of dementia, really rapid decline- went from being normal and healthy to dead within 6 months.

My Dad has been on a decline due to dementia since at least 2018, much more rapid since 2021. His body is reasonably strong but his mind has gone. "

Lo lamento mucho, amiga x

It is really hard to see how they are deteriorating and not being able to do anything to stop it. My mother survived a very aggressive cancer she had for over 15 years- lived another 15 years in remission. My dad never, ever took a sick day in his life. He was very strong and fit.

My MIL is not well now. She keeps falling and ending up in hospital. I went to see her a couple of days ago and she is not well… don’t think she’s got long now.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
34 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

My dad passed away very suddenly a year ago in January... he lived in Scotland so I hadn't seen him in quite a few years... I wasn't surprised to learn from the coroners report that he had emphysema, bronchitis and cirrhosis of the liver...the shock for me was the fact the police had to break into his flat where they found him...

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
34 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

Sending love and hugs to you all x

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By *andG2024Couple
34 weeks ago

Hurley

I feel your pain so stressful all round I have lost both my parents unfortunately some years ago

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By *punk n gushCouple
34 weeks ago

deal

Death is somthibg I feel you can never fully prepare for the hubby's parents both died after long illnesses so there was time to say everything you wanted to them and spend as much time as you could with them wheres both mine died very suddenly and there was no time to do or say anything which u think was harder but still not any easier now I say live everyday like it's your last as we just never know

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By *iberius61Man
34 weeks ago

Pontefract

My mom is still active in her mid 80s. Grandma reached 100 then declined quite rapidly.

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By *rBobbMan
34 weeks ago

Birmingham

I lost both of my parents within an 18 month period so I know how hard it is.

Sending hugs Op.

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By *punk n gushCouple
34 weeks ago

deal

"I lost both of my parents within an 18 month period so I know how hard it is.

Sending hugs Op.

Thank you ut us hard and such a shame I'm the hubby and still miss mine so much been gone 14 years etc

But bless both my wife's parents within 6 months of each other we're still in shock from it wife's world fell apart now we just got each other thankfully got that

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By *punk n gushCouple
34 weeks ago

deal

"Death is somthibg I feel you can never fully prepare for the hubby's parents both died after long illnesses so there was time to say everything you wanted to them and spend as much time as you could with them wheres both mine died very suddenly and there was no time to do or say anything which u think was harder but still not any easier now I say live everyday like it's your last as we just never know "

Indeed bless you op Mrs

From Mr xxxxx

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By *ags73Man
34 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Mine are both dead. 2016 and 2022. Both of dementia, really rapid decline- went from being normal and healthy to dead within 6 months.

My Dad has been on a decline due to dementia since at least 2018, much more rapid since 2021. His body is reasonably strong but his mind has gone. "

My dad died 2021 but dementia had meant that any conversation with him was sort of pointless from about 8 or 10 years before. It made any visits very difficult/upsetting but the last time he was in hospital was in the covid period.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
34 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

My dad has just been in hospital again... Nothing life threatening, but I feel this is going to be the theme going forwards, after major issue last year.

And my uncle on my mums side died today... So it's definitely in my thoughts about having to deal with these things.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Everyone is dying slowly but it’s happening

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By *tevieCDMan
34 weeks ago

Hants

Love and my thoughts to everyone, I still have my parents and both in their 80’s, but I can see their health deteriorate every time I see them.

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By *ove2lick27Man
34 weeks ago

Sheffield

Lost both mine within 5 weeks and 2 days of each other. My dad picked my mum's plot and wording on her placque and before it was ready passed away himself of a broken heart.My only advice I give anyone is never fall out with a parent and cherish them daily. I often tell the younger ones this or anyone moaning about theirs.

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By *jekimMan
34 weeks ago

Wigan

Yes both of them an I don't know how to handle it or what to do

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By *elvet RopeMan
34 weeks ago

by the big field

Still have both of mine, in their 80's both with various health issues. Sibling help ranges from 'tries but useless' to 'Narcissistic arsehole', so make sure i try and see them most weeks when its practical (luckily they're both still fairly active and have a better social life than i do).

Also luckily, they're fairly practical after a few of the health scares and shit that other family members have left behind to sort, so both have wills and LPA's setup, i have details of finances and wishes stored safely and various other things discussed and agreed- so will continue helping where needed, taking the piss out of my dad as usual and giving/accepting any available hugs.

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By *emidemiWoman
34 weeks ago

basingstoke

My parents are only 44 so I’m hoping I’m going to have a lot of years with them.

It was a bit scary last year when my mum had complications from a surgery and got sepsis, that’s the closest I’ve been to thinking about losing her.

Sending lots of love

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By *ools1964Man
34 weeks ago

Swadlincote

Mine have been gone decades

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By *immyinreadingMan
34 weeks ago

henley on thames

Yes, that

I can relate. My dad is in his mid 90’s, was in very good health until last year, then suddenly had some problems and looked like he wouldn’t make it. So as a family we went through the feelings of reconciling ourselves to losing him … then he recovered … then it happened again later in the year … recovered again … and a 3rd lap earlier this year, doctors saying he has a day or two left at most … that was 5 months ago.

He’s like the friggin Terminator. I feel sorriest for my mother who has been through the wringer emotionally so many times in the last 18 months

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By *immyinreadingMan
34 weeks ago

henley on thames

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this"

Exactly this for me. When my dad was ill last year and we were told he wouldn’t make it it had a huge impact on me, physically and mentally (I just felt like I’d had the wind taken out of me, no energy, just felt flat), but that impact has been lessened each subsequent time we have gone through the same process.

I have also had to recalibrate what I consider to be “old”. When my dad hit 80 I thought he was absolutely ancient. 16 years later I now realise ie was fit, active, healthy, driving, climbing ladders, and had many years left on the clock.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this

Yes that's very true. Eventually I became very business like about the whole thing and just swung into 'hospital mode'. It's a sad fact that I was mostly glad when it was all over and that's something I often think about.

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By *immyinreadingMan
34 weeks ago

henley on thames

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this

I just want what’s best for him at this stage. At times, it looked really miserable for him, tortuous, but he has regained some strength now and is happy enough reading the paper, watching the telly and giving out shite about everything.

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By *moothshaftMan
34 weeks ago

Coventry

My dad passed 8 years ago, my mum is 86 and slowed right down due to her frail legs. Her toes have been blue for years, and I'm worried she'll lose them, if not, both lower parts of her legs. She's still very alert though.

But my biggest worry is me. I'm sure I'm at the very start of COPD, and I'd hate to go before my mum, it would kill her.

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By *entBarryUKMan
34 weeks ago

Ashford

Sorry to hear this OP. I have one left and she has a few years left in her, but I will be a mess when she is gone. Tearing up writing this.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Sadly both of mine have been gone for too long

But as one person on here has already said

Make time to spend with them

And in turn make some nice memories not just the bad ones

Have recently been given a few photos from my much younger days

I’d never seen before

And i just look at them and think

What was I saying to my grandpa whilst mum is smiling in the background

God bless xxx

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By *WINGStars23Couple
34 weeks ago

Northwest UK

Mr here.

My dad passed 30 years ago. My mum was 100 on new years eve 2023.

Still lives in her own place on her own, but since covid, her mental health has dropped and sometimes she's on the dementia adventure.

But, this also depends on how many cigarettes she's smoked. I've found that she's much sharper in the mornings than later in the day when she's smoked more.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
34 weeks ago

North West

"Mr here.

My dad passed 30 years ago. My mum was 100 on new years eve 2023.

Still lives in her own place on her own, but since covid, her mental health has dropped and sometimes she's on the dementia adventure.

But, this also depends on how many cigarettes she's smoked. I've found that she's much sharper in the mornings than later in the day when she's smoked more. "

It's pretty standard that people with dementia get more confused as the day goes on. My Dad hasn't smoked since the early 80s but he still gets much more confused later in the day.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
34 weeks ago

Paradise, Herts

"Mr here.

My dad passed 30 years ago. My mum was 100 on new years eve 2023.

Still lives in her own place on her own, but since covid, her mental health has dropped and sometimes she's on the dementia adventure.

But, this also depends on how many cigarettes she's smoked. I've found that she's much sharper in the mornings than later in the day when she's smoked more.

It's pretty standard that people with dementia get more confused as the day goes on. My Dad hasn't smoked since the early 80s but he still gets much more confused later in the day."

This is true. Think it’s called sundowning

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By *ommy trucker1Man
34 weeks ago

south wales

Well mam has parkinsons aged 68 now and getting worse. Dad is 72 and has a severe back and neck problem (so bad that he will end up paralysed from neck down ) don't know when or how long he's got. Both stubborn both extremely proud won't ask for help government dwp basically stuck 2 fingers up when the asked for it few years back so refuse to ask again. So yeah parents not in a good place physically but mentally very strong. So yeah ticking timebombs come to mind

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By *essTTWoman
34 weeks ago

Birmingham

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this

I think you know I have and feel similar with my Dad.

We have every sympathy for you, OP

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but have you considered putting him in a nursing home?

His dementia is at a stage now where doesn't have the ability to keep him safe, I know it's not ideal (trust me I really do know) but may be the best idea in the long run x

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By *4bimMan
34 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

One of the greatest fears we can have. Losing those who love us

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By *ffervescentMan
34 weeks ago

winfrith

we all die eventually it's the one thing that's certain in life ,for some the way they live determines when they die ,death is such a tug on emotions ,if you value life you'll hang on as long as possible but for me it's the quality of life that matters once you can't enjoy it then I'd rather go and my dad died recently he lived a healthy life and was useful it's all you can hope for ,let's hope people think I was useful .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this

Good! It's how the person feels about their life that really matters

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By *r AnalyticMan
34 weeks ago

Nuneaton

I lost my son when he was 8 years old in a car crash. He was in intensive care for nine weeks before he passed away.

It's been 17 years now.

I was a mess for a year drinking every day after work. Untill i woke up one day and said "nothing will bring him back. I didn't take his life, so why am I punishing myself"

The way I look at life is " tomorrow could be my last day make sure i make memories with people that I love".

Since then Im full of life.

It's shit not a day goes past thinking about him but that motivates me drives me to work hard and player harder. Life is shit the good people always has shit dumped on them.

But you have two choices.

Dwell on it making you sad and resentful

Gives you a reason to live and take it all on.

I empathize op i do i mean i really do.

Make memories last and they will comfort you for years to come.

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
34 weeks ago

Cardiff

"I lost my son when he was 8 years old in a car crash. He was in intensive care for nine weeks before he passed away.

It's been 17 years now.

I was a mess for a year drinking every day after work. Untill i woke up one day and said "nothing will bring him back. I didn't take his life, so why am I punishing myself"

The way I look at life is " tomorrow could be my last day make sure i make memories with people that I love".

Since then Im full of life.

It's shit not a day goes past thinking about him but that motivates me drives me to work hard and player harder. Life is shit the good people always has shit dumped on them.

But you have two choices.

Dwell on it making you sad and resentful

Gives you a reason to live and take it all on.

I empathize op i do i mean i really do.

Make memories last and they will comfort you for years to come."

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By *moothshaftMan
34 weeks ago

Coventry

"I lost my son when he was 8 years old in a car crash. He was in intensive care for nine weeks before he passed away.

It's been 17 years now.

I was a mess for a year drinking every day after work. Untill i woke up one day and said "nothing will bring him back. I didn't take his life, so why am I punishing myself"

The way I look at life is " tomorrow could be my last day make sure i make memories with people that I love".

Since then Im full of life.

It's shit not a day goes past thinking about him but that motivates me drives me to work hard and player harder. Life is shit the good people always has shit dumped on them.

But you have two choices.

Dwell on it making you sad and resentful

Gives you a reason to live and take it all on.

I empathize op i do i mean i really do.

Make memories last and they will comfort you for years to come."

Omg this is a totally different take, and blitzing everything else.

I'm so sorry to hear this, but so pleased you've coped brilliantly with it. I couldn't even imagine what you went through.

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By *r AnalyticMan
34 weeks ago

Nuneaton

Omg this is a totally different take, and blitzing everything else.

I'm so sorry to hear this, but so pleased you've coped brilliantly with it. I couldn't even imagine what you went through. "

This part will read wrong and trust me when I say I don't mean it in a asshole way.

I would rather bury my parents than bury my children.

My children should be burying me not the other way around.

I could live my life very bitter and no one would blame me.

But what good is that for me?

I think it takes someone you love to be taken from you, to then appreciate the life you live.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

Omg this is a totally different take, and blitzing everything else.

I'm so sorry to hear this, but so pleased you've coped brilliantly with it. I couldn't even imagine what you went through.

This part will read wrong and trust me when I say I don't mean it in a asshole way.

I would rather bury my parents than bury my children.

My children should be burying me not the other way around.

I could live my life very bitter and no one would blame me.

But what good is that for me?

I think it takes someone you love to be taken from you, to then appreciate the life you live.

I think most of us think that way.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
34 weeks ago

North West

Yes, that

I understand very well.

I had numerous calls from hospital telling me my mum wouldn't pull through, she always did...until she didn't but it took a very long time...years.

I know the toll it takes on your mental health and how you just want it to end...while not wanting it to.

I'm sorry you're experiencing this

I think you know I have and feel similar with my Dad.

We have every sympathy for you, OP

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but have you considered putting him in a nursing home?

His dementia is at a stage now where doesn't have the ability to keep him safe, I know it's not ideal (trust me I really do know) but may be the best idea in the long run x"

Oh yes. We want to place him in some kind of home but because he refuses to leave his home, despite lacking capacity, we cannot force him to go anywhere else. That's the decree of social services. We are in a battle with them at present, with no end in sight. We know exactly what we believe need to be done but are being prevented in doing this.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
34 weeks ago

Hastings

"Both mine are gone. Only advice is make the time if you can before they die."

Totally this take every chance to make memories.

My Dad's last good day was filming my old hot tub being craned over the house, just thinking that day, reminds me of him. RIP

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